Sonic EXE: The Haunt
This is an entirely true story. I do not own Sonic EXE, nor do I ever want to. But I can't overlook this. It has to get out there somehow.
I guess it all started a little while back. I downloaded that accursed game; I played it and just about crapped myself. My friend Nixel was with me when I first downloaded it, but we chickened out of actually playing it. It was only later that I experienced firsthand the horrors of that terrifying hack.
After playing it, my computer started acting up. Like, seriously acting up. Every so often my keyboard would type lIKe tHiS- which was creepy enough. But then my computer started randomly Googling images of the demonic blue hedgehog.
At first I took it in stride, not really caring. The creature had no power over me, so I didn't fear it in the slightest, even when it randomly popped up on my monitor. Its horrid grin and bleeding eyes may have woken me up, admittedly, but beyond that, it was fine. When it got annoying, I deleted the program from my computer, hoping to end it. Not much to my surprise, it worked. I'd never have to face the blue devil again.
Well, at least I thought so.
Later on, my computer started typing out binary messages whenever I'd pm my friends on Fanfiction. They translated to cryptic messages, like "I am immortal" or "There's no escape." At this point I was sure something was off.
But whatever, right? It couldn't have been any worse than some prankster of a hacker. In this world of technology, most everything has a logical explanation. Cold, hard facts have served me all my life. Just because I don't know something doesn't mean there isn't logic behind it. There's a lot I don't know, but everything I've learned in life up to this point has been logical. Normal.
But even I couldn't predict the thin line between normal and abnormal- or abnormal and paranormal.
I sat down at the computer, talking to my friend Nixel over the phone. He was a great guy, easy to excite and loyal to a fault. He'd been my friend since the seventh grade. We were going back and forth, talking about pointless teenager stuff. The kind of stuff anybody would talk about. I feel indescribably famished all of a sudden. My parents are out, so I decide to make some ramen. I go to the kitchen, picking up a pot- and freeze.
A sound all to familiar to gamers. The laugh uttered by Kefka that had transitioned from that strange jester of a man to the blue blur in his most demonic form. I look around, the sound seeming to come from everywhere. I ask Nixel if he heard it, and he responds with a no.
I shake my head and go to the computer to check for any abnormalities, finding none. My interest, and fear, are piqued. My dogs don't seem to think anything's off either. Two black labs, both of which very protective. I walk into my room with a mix of relief and apprehension.
Then I see it. Sitting on my bed is a Sonic plushy. I automatically turn around and walk away, my heart thudding in my chest as I relay to Nixel the situation. Suddenly, the line cuts short.
I'm shaking now. Somebody- or something- is after me. It's obvious now. I instantly try to call Nixel again, my fingers trembling as they punch the numbers.
And then, an answering machine.
Nixel, come on. Don't leave me alone now.
I begin leaving a panicked message, but I receive a call before I can finish it. Jumping from surprise, I hit the answer button and put the phone to my ear.
"Do not do this to me, Nixel," I say shakily. "Do not leave me alone right now! You hung up on me, didn't you?!"
"No!" he shouts back, insulted by my tone, with undertones of fear in his own voice. "I thought you hung up on me! I seriously thought that if I picked up that phone, would be on the other end!"
I'm sick to my stomach. I need to protect myself, so I go back to my room to get a baseball bat. The plushy is gone from my bed now, to my relief.
Wait... how is that possible? A plushy can't move by its self...
I jet hurriedly to my closet, where my weapon of choice should be lying, throwing the door open- and then slamming it shut. Now I knew where the plushy was.
I see another bat in the corner and dive for it, hitting my head on a chair on the way down. The chair was backed away from the desk, further than usual. I realize this as the stars clear from my head, rubbing the nasty bruise on my head.
But heck, if I get out of this with just a bruise, I'll count myself lucky.
Nixel asks what's going on, and I tell him about the plushy being in the closet as I walk down the hall out of my bedroom, holding the slugger in one hand. The metal is cold, in a sharp contrast to the sweat that's built up on my hand. As I walk, I hear the laugh once more. It seems to come from everywhere at once. Nixel hears it this time as well.
"Oh, God," I mutter, pacing the floor. "What do I do?"
"Call the cops, man!"
"And say what?! I'm being attacked by a mutant plushy?! That's be about as effective as saying a fat kid and his friends had stolen my teddy bear!"
"You got a better idea?!"
I curse under my breath, acknowledging that no, I don't have a plan.
Then, all the lights in the house flipped off. I jump again, holding the bat up defensively.
"Nixel, my lights are out," I whisper, my voice breaking on each syllable.
"Run, run man! From whatever the heck it is, just run!"
"I-I can't. I can't move."
I breathe quickly and raggedly as I ask him the question that's been coming for so long.
"What if I told you those Kefka laughs were on Youtube?"
"I will ******* kill you!"
I laugh wholeheartedly at his reaction, knowing I've gotten him good. It's too bad I hadn't recorded it.
Everything that happened that night was logical. The Kefka laughs? Youtube.
The plushy moving on its own? That things my dog's toy, of course she'd move it. And my closet is one of her favorite hidey-holes.
The phone cutting off? My phone does that sometimes. Bad company, whatever.
And the lights going off? A REALLY convenient power outage.
I HAD to get this story out. HAD to. I just LOVE torturing my bro Nixel. No, I'm not bad enough to disclose his actual name.
I'm still uncertain as to the nature of the binary codes and Googling of EXE. But there's login in it somewhere, like I said before.
I was never in any danger. Nobody was. Though I may not survive Nixel's revenge.
hE mAY nOt sURvIVe MY cOmIng, EItHer.