"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard" ~Winnie the Pooh
"Hear ye, hear ye" Mac yelled, holding up the ale that always seemed attached to his hand. "His highness King Carlisle and Queen Esme have an announcement!"
The crowd started to gather close to the balcony where the King and Queen stood grinning and waving at their subjects.
Carlisle moved forward, toasting a full glass of wine as he spoke loudly, "Our son, Prince Edward, wishes to say- with help of a soothsayer called an ultrasound- there will be new little princes as his young bride Bella has been blessed with twins!"
There were hoorah's and happy hoots but Emmett just laughed. "Blanket is knocked up… and with twins. I'm sure Edward's quite proud of himself indeed!"
Jasper nodded his agreement. "I am sure Alice will want to be next… or Rosalie."
With that Emmett blushed.
"What?" Jasper looked at his friend with wide eyes. "You didn't!"
"Shh," Emmett sneered, looking around for listening ears.
"The Queen is going to be upset you knocked up her favorite lady in waiting," Jasper whispered looking quite happy with the impending drama. "I'm sure that was not the favor she was offering."
Mac called over the crowd, "Let it be known that the Princess is in fair heath and mind. She prays their babies' safe arrival sometime after the New Year."
There were more cheers as ale sloshed around in merriment.
"You're going to have to quit or tell them soon… I see a quick wedding in your future." Jasper scoffed right before he turned and walked away toward the stables to check on the horse he would be soon riding in the joust.
Emmett knew he was right, he just didn't want to have to deal with the drama when it was on his own plate.
"You look quite proud of yourself, Edward." Bella smirked as they walked out of their house and into their SUV. The house was more like a modernized stone cottage off of the pearly lake they had on the Faire's property.
They had already called the "Queen and King" with the ultrasound news and were stopping for a quick wardrobe change and bathroom break before heading to the Faire.
The babies were cramped in Bella's small torso. Even though she was only five months along, the babies were tiny, only weighing about a pound each, so far.
Bella worried the whole time she watched the monitor, but Edward was beaming with pride.
He had wanted a family for so long that he was hell bent creating one before they came home from their honeymoon.
He was successful.
Now they just had to prepare and wait.
"I'm proud of my boys!" Edward chuckled, eyeing his wife for her reaction. "I'm even more proud that we got the added incentive for procreation from the Queen Mother, just by conceiving them before we came back."
"I knew it was a conspiracy!" Bella yelled, swatting at her husband playfully. "What did you get out of knocking me up?"
"You mean, what did we get?" He wiggled his bushy eyebrows. Bella had always liked his eyebrows, until now.
Now, she was nervous.
"I'm so worried right now, you have no idea."
Edward laughed, grabbing his wife's hand up and kissed her fingers. "Why?"
"I still have nightmare flashbacks of Queen Mother and Esme and the whole conversation about the virtue box with chastity belt."
He looked properly disturbed. He had his own conversations with the King about certain medieval devices that would be added to cage his member if he ever strayed. Edward was never going to give his wife any ideas, especially in her current predicament. She might enjoy the idea of him being caged. "Yeah, let's not go there, again."
"So I can only imagine what her YAY, You're knocked-up present is, but you don't seem bothered by it all."
"Well, how could be when I'm so happy?" He grinned, but she was not amused. Her eyes were narrowed and accusing. "Anyway, we'll soon see because we're on our way there now."
"I thought we were going back to the Faire!"
"Nope… not yet anyway."
"Oh, now I feel some panic coming on." Bella bit her lip as Edward side-eyed her with concern.
"Should I go by myself? You know I would, love."
Bella shook her head. "Your grandmother is terrifying, that's all."
"I know." He did know. "But it could be something good… or nothing."
It was Bella's turn to give Edward the side-eye.
"Yeah, okay… but it doesn't matter because we're here." He pushed the security code on his grandmother's gate pad and both watched as the iron gates opened slowly, with loud creaking wails.
The babies moved around in Bella's stomach, no doubt feeling her tension, but she opened her door when Edward parked and got out, taking in the huge home before them.
"I have such a bad feeling about this." She groaned before Edward grabbed her hand and led her to the door.
"How bad can it be?" He smirked as Eleanor opened the door with twinkling eyes.
"Can we leave now?" Bella seethed, holding her pots away from her chest for a moment before Edward took them from her. "It's obvious I'm pregnant, so there is no way I am pissing in the pots to see if worms grow."
"I know, sweetheart." Edward tried his best to be sympathetic but he couldn't help his grin.
"I mean, how many people have peed in those pots?"
Edward suddenly looked disgusted and held the pots away from him, craving hand sanitizer. "I'm sorry. I had no idea that was her present for you, promise."
"That's not a nice gift, antique or otherwise."
"What else did you get?"
Bella hissed. "Do you even want to know? Because they take this whole Renaissance period very seriously… Like whole-other-level -of- crazy- serious."
"You should have figured that out when they did the belt or the handfasting," Edward scoffed, shaking his head. He couldn't understand how his wife could keep being surprised with their antics."
"Edward," She warned. "Don't remind me about the belt!" Bella seethed.
"Tell me what she gave you."
"Recipe books- for the home and the for the restaurant."
"That doesn't seem so bad." It wasn't a good time to tell Bella, but it was his Grandmother's gift to him to give him the capital to start his own restaurant so they didn't have to travel with the park and could enjoy their time home raising their family when the faire wasn't in town.
His Grandmother's gift to Bella was to keep her occupied while she slipped Edward the papers as a surprise for later.
And because she had been gifted those same horrible gifts and it was now a tradition.
"It is bad when the things have anything from fertility tests, fidelity tests, and even recipes for testing the sex of the child. You would shudder knowing the things they did to find out."
"Wow." Edward didn't know what to say.
"I will read it so I know it all- but Hell if I do any of it."
"Agreed." Edward nodded. "The only good thing is someday the Faire will be ours and we'll get to torment a new generation."
"Oh, I know it. I already have plans."
"You love me."
One a cold December morning, two little bright eyed boys came early into the world screaming so loud the fairies shook in their trees.
Edward was smitten, as sat with his boys both cradled in each arm. His eyes brimmed with tears trying to look at both of them at the same time, his head bobbing back and forth.
Bella smiled, sleepy from the anesthesia, but clicked the picture of her husband and boys anyway.
"It's not even eight months after the wedding," she whisper complained. But she smiled as Edward's head finally stilled when his eyes landed on hers.
"Should I use one of the recipes to test fidelity?" He teased, but it wasn't very funny. It was still a sore spot several months later.
Bella didn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth, but… the pots were not a gift and there were no worms.
They tested… twice.
"How are they?" She asked, yawning. Her eyes fought to stay open but she didn't want to miss a moment.
"Beautiful, wonderful, everything." He grinned, making the tears finally fall from his eyes. "Thank you. This is the best gift, other than you, that I've ever been given."
She wanted to tease him but instead she just said, "You're welcome. But you had a big part of that gift."
He nodded in agreement, looking back at his boys. "And maybe since we made two at once they will give us a break in between."
That got Bella's attention and she was suddenly wide awake. "We're not having any more babies, Edward."
"Mommy doesn't mean that," he cooed at the boys. "She cannot resist me, for long."
Bella scoffed but recoiled in pain from her incision.
"You alright, love?"
She nodded at her husband with a grimacing smile. "I want to sleep." Bella yawned, "But I don't want to miss a moment with them."
"We have yet to name them," Edward reminded Bella.
"We can't until the morning."
That made no sense to Edward.
"Okay, get some rest. I'll watch over the babies and make sure they don't do anything outrageous while you sleep."
"And do all the diapers," she sighed, eyes fluttering.
"Yes, of course."
"Obviously, love." He chuckled. "I love you."
"Love you," and then Bella fell asleep.
A cry tore through the silence as a nurse wheeled the plastic bassinet into the room. "You have very hungry boys," the nurse grinned, holding a baby up to her mother. Their other son lay wide eyed in the bassinet looking around the room.
"He's watching everything," Edward sighed, "He even tries to lift up his head… that can't be normal."
"It's normal for the feisty ones," The nurse laughed. "Some are born running!" She left the room, closing the door behind her.
He picked up his son with reverence. He then turned to his wife who was fumbling with feeding the newborn. "Given any thoughts on names?"
Bella nodded. "I don't want to do the whole old medieval namesake thing. I want something normal."
"Cause Edward isn't normal?" He scoffed and the baby fidgeted. Edward chuckled lightly. "Yes, exactly… he doesn't want to be named Edward." He kissed his baby on the forehead and began to pat him on his bum to sooth him as he fussed.
"Edward isn't your full name. You forget I know your real name," she huffed out.
"It's a family name. My mother was duped."
"So you've said." Bella sighed. The babies were getting more animated with the conversation and she wasn't in the mood to spend the rest of the night trying to get them to sleep. She whispered, "You know what I mean."
"You want an -eff you Queen mother- name." He chuckled, knowing his wife.
"Like what, then?"
"Instead of William, how about Liam Masen." Bella jostled the baby.
"Masen is after my mom… I'm Esme-son.
"That's too funny but I can totally see your mom doing that.
"And this one?"
"Edward, I was thinking we could do a play on your name, like Edison or Edrian."
Edward's eyes lit up as a smile played at his lips. Bella loved that look. She wanted to see it all the time. "Namesake but not really, since it's spelt differently on the birth certificates."
"And Liam's name?"
"It's a family name… It's my father's middle name and my grandfather's name." Bella shrugged.
"I like the names. We just have to be adamant that they keep their names as they are no nicknames."
So Bella and Edward told the recorder their baby's names: Liam Masen Cullen and Edison Masen Cullen.
"Bella," Alice whined, "You're babies are eating dirt… again."
Bella looked over and could see Liam reaching through the wooden playpen and grasping the dirt with his little plump starfish hand. His blond hair glowed white in the sun, his bright blue eyes avidly watching his prize.
"I think Liam's trying for the stick and settling for the dirt, Alice." Bella sighed. She was tired and the babies, at six months old already, were running her ragged. At this point she couldn't care that the boys were eating a bit or dirt. Her boys have eaten worse.
"Ew," Alice puckered her mouth as a line of saliva draped from his mouth to his hand. "I'm never having kids."
"Not what I heard," Bella taunted.
"What?" Alice screeched, eyes wide and searching everyone's face. "What did you hear?"
"Don't you know?" Bella teased. "I thought fortune tellers knew all."
"I can't know about myself, Bella." Alice scoffed, flippantly. She had taken over for their other fortune teller and was making a killing at telling people- although indirectly- what they needed to do change their life and love and the like.
She had one woman in tears, telling the woman that she saw her buying new clothes that fit, dying her hair blonder and landing that killer job she had always wanted.
Power of suggestion was a powerful thing when it was empowering.
"All I know is that there was a meeting of the minds with Jasper and the Queen Mum," Bella loved this taunting thing. She could get used to it. She especially liked the shocked horror look on Alice's face. She was twitching.
"No," She gasped.
"One chastity belt is on order on Amazon. As. We. Speak." Bella bit out. "Or so I heard."
She sipped her lemonade as Edison started to stir from his nap in her arms. His blond hair was hinted with a bit of red like his daddy's and Bella couldn't help but wonder if they would both end up looking like their dad. Neither seemed to receive any DNA from the Swan side that she could claim; they were total Cullen's. It was like she cloned a mini Carlisle and Edward into the likes of Liam and Edison. Carlisle was pretty happy that his grandbaby looked so much like him, taking them to show off every chance he could get.
"Any more babies for you, Bella?" Rosalie asked as she yawned, bored with Alice's ranting and raving as she palmed her full stomach. She was due anytime.
Bella shrugged. She had given it more thought, but was adamant that it wouldn't be for several more years, if at all.
"If it was up to Edward we'd have lots more. I know he would like a little girl."
"Until he gets one," She scoffed. "When Emmett found out we were having a girl he rushed out and registered to carry a firearm. It's for the boys who want to date her and or Zombies. Whichever comes first. I hope it's the latter for little Emma's sake."
"I thought I had my hands full," Bella laughed.
"Right?" She snickered as Alice finally sat down to listen.
Edison was now wide awake and rooting around to nurse; she easily accommodated him, covering herself and eyes back onto Liam.
He successfully got the stick and was trying to figure out how to get it in his mouth.
"It's worth it, right? The belt." Alice fidgeted with the lacy hems of her dress.
"Is this all worth it?" Rosalie asked Bella, eyes bright. The women looked around at the laughing children, eyes lit up with wonder. People milling around, tasting their beers and food and sweets.
Scurvy pirates taunted.
Jesters teased as acrobats flew through the air. People gasped in awe and wonder.
Ladies paraded through the town.
Knights in armor readied for their joust.
Her husband walked out of their restaurant holding a large barrel of ale all muscular and a sweaty. He smiled at her and then he winked before he turned in another direction.
Two babies now played happily with the balls in their pen and Bella smiled, knowing that she had a great, abundant life.
They had changed their stars, after all.
"Yeah, it's all worth it." She grinned.
A/N: Thank you for going on this journey with me. It's been a true pleasure and a blessing.