Twins' Brains, Snape's Gains, Umbridge's Pains
Fading to Black
They were Fred and George, Gred and Forge, pranking sensations and successful business men. There was nothing that could go wrong, because they had it all covered. They would prepare the next generation of pranksters and torture Filch at the same time! It was a win-win situation. That is, until a preschool class managed to end up in their shop. Then, it was madness. But they had gotten that sorted out, and in turn had sold many of their Pygmy Puffs to the little buggers. That had been a true mess, true, but it was over and there was no lasting damage (to their shop, that little girl's nose would always be a little more upturned than it had been before) and life was good.
It had been a normal day, though not very busy. That said, it was a weekday and a majority of the population was out working and playing the pranks they had brought. They had seen Snape walking out of the Apothecary across the way, and promptly decided to prank him. They were bored, after all, and a good prankster is never bored long. Though if anyone asked, of course it was advertising. So what if their ex-Professor was the victim of their ministrations. What else could it be?
They had chosen a few items off of their shelves. A small pot of glitter that had a modified sticking charm to make it stick to the first thing it touched, with a repelling charm to keep it from touching the jar itself. A pair of transfigured muggle clown shoes. A portable stormcloud, charmed to follow after the person it was activated above for a half-hour. A couple marbles slicked with oil and spelled to run under the shoes at random intervals, as well as change size. The shoes constricted to make them difficult to remove and had an anti-transfiguration charm on them.
As Snape had turned a corner and gone into a small green near the Apparition point, they acted. An irate Snape who kept tripping over floppy clown shoes and menacingly dangerous marbles and was drenched by rain that only seemed to fall on him looked around for his pranksters. To make it even worse, there seemed to be glitter sticking onto him. It wasn't getting washed away by the rain. It was in his hair and on his eyelashes and turning his practical black robe into a grotesque montage of color. He recognized the twins' handiwork, but he couldn't see the students that had seen fit to use it on him. On him!
Gryffindor was going to lose a lot of points when he got back, he thought. The process was more than cathartic now. Intimidating people was his stress relief, though that little muggle invention called a stress-ball also went a long way towards helping him. And when he found out who thought of it, their House would outcast them on behalf of losing them so many points. Merlin, would they.
That, however, was only the beginning. The twins had just perfected their Gender Bending Gummy Bears, and they were eager to test it. The only way to do that was to get to him at Hogwarts, where Snape would let down his guard enough for them to slip him the candy. They closed up shop early. They needed to figure out the semantics of their next prank, after all.
And, even if it turned out that they couldn't test their Gender Bending Gummy Bears for a while, pranking Snape was always good for a laugh.
A screech was heard from the dungeons, from the resident Potions Maker's quarters specifically, in the early hours of the morning. It was high, and sounded like a woman's screech.
"THESE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!" Snape shrieked, looking into the mirror once more. He was a girl. A woman. He had boobs. Whoever did this was going to pay. Dearly.He remembered some particularly painful Dark curses from his Death Eater repertoire that might fit the bill. He screamed again, incoherent in his rage.
Elsewhere in the castle, the Weasley twins, Gred and Forge, pranking extraordinaires, snickered softly. It had taken a little time and some doing (and lock picking) to infiltrate Hogwarts to prank Snape. But it had been worth it. The Gender Bending Gummy Bears, GBGB for short, were, as it turned out, a shrieking success.