Wow, you guys are all sooo cool about the non-flamy thing. I love you! Thank you!
Midnight Cougar beta'd this and then bribed me with pretty pictures for a futuretake. It'll happen.
Jo and Mandi have read some of this, but I'm not sure how much. Plot is so distracting, right girls?
See you at the bottom...
Christ on a cracker, if I wasn't a ball of nervous, pent-up, sexual frustration before ... that dream certainly cemented it.
Concentrating on doing the task at hand was hard as I could feel Edward's eyes on me from across the room. My hands were steady as I cut through the patient's skin and focused on keeping him alive.
I had avoided Dr. Cullen all morning, which wasn't that difficult seeing as I had a handful of patients to attend to, and I assumed he had some work to do as well. Those doctor shows on television did nothing to make us look great in the grand scheme of things. The on-call room wasn't some place we went to for sex, we actually slept in there. For the most part, anyway.
I was too busy to worry about my dream and its significance. Chances were, he didn't see me that way, and I was in serious need of a reality check. Reality being that working an ungodly amount of hours within the week left almost no time for a relationship.
Luckily, I finished operating on my patient and was able to keep him alive in spite of my inner musings.
I was drying my hands, still dazed as to what that stupid dream meant when a hand on my shoulder startled me out of my reverie. "Jesus Christ," I screeched, my hands swatting at whoever had touched me.
"Whoa, there, Dr. Swan." Edward grinned. "Just wanted to tell you what a good job you did in there." He jerked his head toward the operating room.
"Oh, erm, thanks." I smiled sheepishly, looking through the glass separating us from the OR. Inside, the nurses were busy preparing the patient to get him into the recovery room.
"I'm sorry, what?" I turned my attention back to Edward.
"Would you like to get coffee?" He flashed his sexy little smirk that made my entire body relax and slump onto itself. Jesus, nobody could ever say no to that.
"Oh, yeah, that'd be good." I smiled and lead him out of the room and down the hall.
"So, Dr. Swan, I hear your internship ends soon, any plans for the future?" he asked, sounding genuinely interested.
I was taken aback a little and thought about my answer. "Well, I'm staying here. I grew up a few blocks from the hospital, and never planned on moving away. This was and always will be home."
He nodded. "Ah, I see. Did you like it here, I mean, growing up?"
"It was great, actually. Well, you know, until my folks died in a car crash," I stated as a matter-of-fact. He was quiet for a little too long. I took that silence as cue to explain. "When I was twenty-two, they were on their way to a policeman's ball and some guy cut them off at a green light downtown. They both died on impact. It's fine, I mean, I'm fine now, they were great parents and I loved them, and I grew up happy and stuff ..." Crap. Oversharing much, Swan?
I scratched my neck and ran a hand through my hair, stopping in my tracks and peering up at him.
His eyes met mine, sadness behind the green irises. "I'm sorry."
I waved him off. "Don't. It's okay, really, it is. I just thought you knew. I mean, everyone knows." I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling uncomfortable and exposed. "I had just started my internship and it was a big deal back then," I explained. "But now ..." I shrugged.
His eyes widened and his mouth pressed in a thin line, jaw flexing. God, he was sexy. "Wow," was all he said, still looking at me like someone had run over his cat.
"I know. I just … Look; I try not to dwell on it, okay? So please, don't get all weird on me." I smiled and poked his side to get him to loosen up and say something. I was very grateful that the hallway we were going down was reserved for doctors and nurses, because he would have definitely caused a traffic jam.
He nodded, his eyes crinkling as his eyebrows pulled together in concern. "Yeah, okay … it's just I've never … I mean, my parents are alive and I'm obviously a lot older than you." His eyes met mine and he realized what he had said. "Not that you're that young or anything," he backtracked, rolling his eyes at himself while I couldn't help but smirk at his obvious lack of filter.
"So, you're an old man, Dr. Cullen?" I deadpanned. "And, what? I'm too young?" I winked.
"Hardy har, har, Dr. Swan." He cupped the back of his neck, scratching it nervously. "You know what I mean, though, right?"
I nodded and started walking down the hall toward the cafeteria. "I know it's weird, but it's been a few years and, yes, I miss them quite a bit, and I get lonely, but I don't go there. For the sake of my sanity, I can't. What's done is done and it's not like I have that much time to ponder it."
"I suppose you don't." He nodded in agreement, keeping in step with me.
"So, what are we having today?" I motioned to the three coffee decanters. "Dark Roast, Regular, or Vanilla." I waved at them with a flourish, smiling like I'd already drunk too much. Obviously, that dream hadn't quelled my ability to make a fool out of myself in front of him.
He laughed, shaking his head, his eyes darting from me to the three decanters. "What are you getting?"
"Can I tell you a secret, Dr. Cullen?" He nodded, leaning in closer to me. "They're all the same."
His eyes widened. "Oh my," he deadpanned, his lips quivering as he tried not to smile.
I nodded. "I know. Travesty."
"Well, I'll have whatever you're having." He leaned his hip against the counter, his blue scrubs hanging just about perfectly off his toned body. He looked real good there, all doctor-like.
I smiled and picked up two cups, filling them with whatever was nearest. "Here you go, sir," I said playfully, handing him his cup, our fingers brushing up against each other in the process.
His eyes met mine, a smirk playing on his lips, which reminded me that I'd just slipped up and called him sir. That was awkward only in my head, of course, but my face flamed, and he had no idea why.
I looked at my watch. "So, I have to get back to my patients." I needed to get out of there. Stat.
"Oh, of course." He nodded, smiling. "Me too."
I turned and headed out the cafeteria door, not bothering to look back. I felt like a complete moron around him. If it weren't for diarrhea of the mouth, I wasn't sure exactly how much I would have told him about myself.
At this point, it wouldn't have surprised me if I would've randomly told him about Irina's pussy tasting like ambrosia salad or about my fantasies which apparently involved a three-way in the on-call room.
Christ, I had to get a grip. For someone who was considered pretty smart and a good surgeon, I could be really dumb and a complete spaz at times.
The house was quiet, my wine glass was full and Two Broke Girls was playing on television. Life was good; great even.
Irina was working her shift and I was all alone in my house. When my parents died, I wasn't sure I wanted to live here, but once things settled down and their lawyer informed me that it was mine, free and clear, there was no way I was letting it go. Real Estate was expensive enough in the area that I figured I'd save money on rent and just live here for convenience sake and also to keep them with me somehow.
When I met Irina in our first year of residency, we hit it off right away. When she had told me she needed to get away from her roommates, I invited her to live with me. We had been living together ever since.
This house was going to feel so empty without her.
I sipped my wine, trying to concentrate on the two chicks making cupcakes on the flat screen. They were funny as hell, like the Lucy and Ethel of our time.
Once the show was over, I noticed how quiet and boring it was to be alone in the house. I contemplated for about a nanosecond what it would be like to get a cat, but wiped that thought out of my mind when images of a bunch of them surrounding me flashed through my mind. No, I was not going to turn into Alice.
Turning off the television, I looked around my living room, realizing it was still exactly the same as it was when my parents were alive. The couch was the same. It still had Grandma Swan's quilt over the back and with the exception of a few frames on the walls, even all of Mom's old pictures were still there.
In a way, this was how I had been able to move past my parents' death so well. It hadn't been easy at first, but the hospital had given me some leeway with my schedule; they were very understanding. My head had been out of it for a few months, but I had eventually cleared the fog and regained my bearings.
I was now in a good place and soon to be out of school and free to work in any hospital in the continental United States.
Except, I actually wanted to stay in Seattle. This was my home and I found no desire to go anywhere else.
Those thoughts brought me to Edward. Why would he have moved from Chicago to Seattle? What could possess someone to do something like that? Why Seattle of all places?
I couldn't imagine leaving everything I knew and going to some strange city. Sure, Seattle General must've offered him a pretty penny, but money couldn't buy you friends, family and happiness.
Did I know anything about him, or was this little infatuation all in my head?
The wine was working its way into my brain making me delirious and drowsy. With a sigh, I hobbled my way upstairs to my bedroom and flopped onto my bed.
Closing my eyes, I saw Edward's sweet face behind my eyelids, smiling at me while drinking his coffee.
I decided it was my turn to ask him about himself for a change before drifting off to sleep.
"Oh, hi, Dr. Swan," Alice greeted me cheerfully as I got to her desk and picked out the files I needed.
"Hey, Alice, what's up?" I smiled, wondering what made her so happy this early in the morning. I didn't think living alone with your cat could render someone so damn perky, but Alice swore that little Jasper, her Siamese, was the best thing that ever happened to her.
"Nothing much around here. You know, except that Rose and Emmett are off again, it seems." She pouted, her bottom lip jutting out, but her eyes twinkling with excitement.
I groaned. "That's too bad." And I meant it, too. Every time those two broke up, it was like World War Three in the hospital.
"Yeah, but they'll get back together, they always do. Now, what's this with you and Dr. McSexypants, dear?" she asked, grinning.
"I don't know." I tried, unsuccessfully, to feign ignorance, but it didn't work. Alice was the eyes and ears of the hospital and we could never get anything past her. I was surprised she'd never said anything about Irina and I, but then again, to anyone else, we probably looked like simple roommates and best friends more than lovers. Heck, even I wasn't sure we were considered lovers since we'd never labeled anything we did and it hadn't happened since she'd started to chat with Peter.
Alice grinned like the Cheshire Cat, bringing me out of my musings. "Sure, sure. He's one fine boy, though. If I were a pretty, young thing like you, dear, I'd jump on that … hard." She winked. "Now, you've got Mr. Clearwater in room one-oh-four."
I walked away quietly, giggling and shaking my head at old Alice's antics. She was perky and somewhat nosey, but she sure knew how to make us smile.
"Fancy finding you here." A voice I'd come to know startled me out of my haze. I'd been pulling an eighteen hour shift and surviving on coffee for the last twelve.
"Do you always have to scare me like that?" I bit back, trying to sound a little less annoyed than I really was.
"I wasn't even trying that time." He smirked.
"Oh, so you were trying to give me a heart attack, huh?" I took a step forward, hoping the barista would hurry the fuck up and give me my damn coffee.
He followed suit, stepping in next to me, close enough that I had to tilt my head back quite a bit to look up at his pretty mug. Damn he was tall, probably a good six to eight inches taller than my five foot six inch frame.
"Not really, but you're always so deep in thought, it's easy to scare you." He smiled softly.
God, he smelled good, too. I had to refrain from burying my nose in his sweater. That could have come off as a little weird. "I'm just tired is all," I explained. "Sorry."
He nodded. "That I understand completely."
We were quiet for a few moments, waiting for the lady in front of us to pay for her ridiculously large order.
"So what do you do here for fun?" he blurted out, his voice laced with a certain shyness and uncertainty I didn't quite understand.
I let out an unladylike snort. "I drink wine and watch television." My eyes met his. "I know, pathetic, but it works for me." I blushed at my own social ineptitude.
"Low maintenance … I like that." He shrugged.
I nodded. "That would be me." I bit my lip, gnawing on it before blurting out, "What do you do?"
"I sleep … a lot." He looked away in thought, his face twisting up adorably. "Oh, I also read and play Words With Friends on my phone."
"Also exciting," I deadpanned. "Sometimes, when I'm feeling a little frisky, I read fanfiction." I got on my toes, my lips near his ear and whispered, "Some of it is so dirty. Kinda like really hot porn."
And then I died a thousand deaths because my filter had completely gone off the deep end, abandoning me entirely and making me flirt with the good anesthesiologist.
Maybe I could blame it all on lack of sleep?
"Next!" the barista yelled, taking me out of my momentary lapse in judgment.
I ordered my coffee, not taking a chance to look back at Edward. I could feel his eyes on me with every movement. My face flushed and my skin felt as if someone had doused me in gasoline and set me on fire. I knew I was blushing and couldn't do a damn thing about it.
I turned and walked past him. "Yeah, so, erm, talk to you later," I squeaked, smiling awkwardly, my lips turning into a sideways grimace, and got the hell out of dodge.
I didn't know what the hell this man was doing to me, but I needed to find a cure, fast, otherwise there was no way I was going to keep what was left of my dignity intact.
Bella is a flustered mess... poor girl!