Knightly Entertainment

(How We Waste Our Time)

A/N- Honestly, I'm not certain that there isn't a different variation of the 'I spy' game in Britain, or in different regions of the U.S. for that matter. Anyway, I like to poke fun at Leon the most. (Leon-lovers, beware!) ;-) This is how I secretly suspect they pass their time during those long rides. (Written before any of the knights died. *Sniff*) Hope you all enjoy! Please let me know if it's funny at all, or if I'm just plain cruel to one of your fave characters!)

"I spy," Sir Leon began in an appropriately sing-song-y voice, "with my little eye, something… green."

Majority of those present rolled their eyes to hear the familiar words.

"You've already spied the grass, Leon," Gwaine reminded.

"I'm not spying the grass," Leon lied, apparently insulted that Gwaine believed his vision too limited to pass the first object of a single color- even though it was. "I spied… Arthur's eyes!" he compensated.

Merlin- bringing up the rear of the mounted party, as per usual- was the first to catch his error. "Arthur's eyes are blue," he said, making a conscious effort not to add the word 'duh'.

Leon turned a lovely shade of red. "Are you sure about that?" he asked, desperate to retain what little respect he was given. "I think there's green in the blue."

"I think I would know if there were any green in my eyes," Arthur pointed out.

"You can't spend all that time in the mirror without noticing a few things," Gwaine remarked with an easy smirk.

Percival smothered a laugh while Arthur turned in his saddle to send a royal glare in Gwaine's direction.

"We should ask Gwen when we get home," said Elyan with a smile, "she's devoted so much time to looking deep into them."

Arthur blushed at the laughter that rose from Merlin and the knights- with the exception of Lancelot, who merely looked down.

When it appeared that the prince was arming himself with a retort, Merlin stepped in- always ready to break up a fight, as fights rather easily occurred where these particular knights were involved. "If you can't think of anything better, Leon, I think it's Lancelot's turn," he said.

Everyone eventually turned to Lance when he neglected to respond. However, noticing the attention, he said quietly, "I don't feel like playing anymore."

Percival protested, "But it's no fun with only…" He paused, using both hands to count. "Six people!"

"Yeah, Lancelot," Merlin encouraged his eternally loyal but unambitious friend. "And you're better at this game than any of us."

"Look, if he doesn't want to play, that's fine," Arthur told his men, which, to all appearance, was fine with the knight in question.

"Then it's my turn again!" Leon concluded with a dopey little smile. "I sp-"

"Wait a minute," Gwaine stopped him. "You just went. It's Merlin's turn."

"But-" Leon protested.

"It's true," Arthur interrupted, "there are no rules saying 'Sir Leon gets to go twice in a row'."

"But-" Leon went on.

"Play by the rules!" Gwaine reprimanded, quite enjoying the moral high ground.

"But-" Leon said again.

"Look, if Leon really wants to go again," Merlin told them, "that's fine with me."

"But-" The tall knight seemed to be on repeat.

"No, we've always played this way," Arthur said.


"And we're not going to change the rules for one man," Elyan put in.


"One insignificant man," Percival laughed- mostly for the sake of establishing that he was on the side of the majority.


It was no question, and effectively rendered everyone silent.

Sir Leon frowned in an exaggeratively dignified manner*, shocked at himself for the outburst, but pleased with the results. "If you'd all-," he began, his voice surprisingly low, not only in contrast to his previous shouting, but his intimidating-at-first-glance stature. He cleared his throat. "If you'd all just listen to me- I was going to point out that I didn't really get a turn- I mean, no one got a chance to guess what I was spying."

The silence resumed. No one had yet considered that. Amazing, then, that Sir Leon had come to see it.

"Well," Merlin said, "what do you spy?"

Leon grinned happily. "I spy," he repeated, still sing-song-y, "with my little eye, something… Something…"

Arthur raised his eyebrow, glancing back toward Merlin skeptically. Why couldn't you just take your turn, Merlin? he seemed to want to say.

"Something…" Leon repeated.

Merlin slumped just barely in guilt.


The rest of those present all groaned and/or sighed loudly. Even Lancelot pitched in.

"Is it the leaves, Leon?" Gwaine asked with due exasperation.

Leon again blushed. "No!" he replied in annoyance. "It's the grass!"

*You all know I the face I'm talking about.

The End.