Steve was confused. Which wasn't anything new, but when even director Fury squinted his good eye in confusion as Iron Man carefully spray painted numbers onto the Hulk's broad back, something had to give. Steve couldn't even begin to fathom why Tony felt the urge to do this to his mate's alter ego. They'd been bonded for a year and Steve had never been more confused by their antics.
Tony shook the spray can and resumed his work, humming gently as Hulk sat patiently, something that only Tony could really manage to persuade the Hulk to do. He continued spraying number after number, it went on forever and Steve was getting frustrated with how confused he was.
"Okay, what the actual fuck?" Clint broke the silence. His hand rested on his round pregnant belly as he leaned against his mate, Phil. "Is this inception or some shit like that? I wouldn't put it past them."
"Language, Clint. Bo can hear you now; we don't want our baby to be born with a potty mouth." Phil chastised.
Now Steve was even more confused. The baby could be born with a potty- Steve didn't want to dwell on it. Modern slang was not his forte. Neither was watching Tony vandalize all over the Hulk and making sense of it. But he digressed.
"So, Hulk's just gonna sit there and take it?" Natasha asked from beside Fury.
"That is what it appears to be, my lady." Thor said as he wrapped his muscled arm around Steve. Steve leaned his weight on Thor and rested his blond head on Thor's shoulder. "Although I cannot offer any sort of explanation..."
Tony had reached Hulk's pants and was making the finishing touches on the final number when Clint had to get up and pee. Tony walked around Hulk, with his tiny baby bump peeking out from beneath his tight tank top, and began to spray on some lines to his large chest.
Suddenly, it looked as if Phil understood.
"Oh, jeez! How did forget?" Phil muttered.
"Explain." Natasha demanded.
"It's pi day." Phil said, as if it were obvious. "March 14th."
Natasha and Fury made noises of understanding as Clint returned. He took one look at the symbol on Hulk's chest and exclaimed; "Oh my god! I totally forgot! I need to start cooking!" and then he rushed off to the kitchen.
Steve was almost more confused than before. He didn't know this Pie, they spoke of, and what did all those numbers have to do with pie!? He would explode soon if he didn't resolve his inner turmoil right then.
"What is this Pie you speak of?" Thor asked.
"You know, 3.141592?" Phil said. "The irrational number used in equations to measure curves and circles?"
"I do not follow." Thor frowned.
Steve didn't follow either. His education was given to him by nuns in the church across the street from his house. The times were different then, and Omegas weren't permitted to get a formal education because they were expected to stay at home and raise the children, so use did they have of complicated maths and algebra or science? Steve had only learned how to read, write, add, subtract, multiply and divide. He didn't get much farther, as the church was very adamant in keeping omegas out of schools. Especially the males.
So Steve was very very confused still.
"It's a number in equations like, ∏r2. Or, like finding the circumference of a circle." Natasha said.
"What is this midgardian thing?" Thor asked, shaking his head.
And so, Phil and Natasha spent the next two hours giving Thor and Steve a crash course in math. They went through BEDMAS and fractions and finally, they reached geometry. Steve was so engrossed in his work. He loved going to his church classes and he wished he could have gone to school, but this was just as good in his mind. He was quick with his numbers and equations, finishing up his questions quickly. Thor was slower, but no less enthusiastic with learning about midgardian numbers and their many magics.
"So pi is just a really long number used to measure circles and curves, expressed by this symbol?" Steve asked, pointing at the pi symbol on his page.
"Yes. Good work, Steve." Natasha smiled proudly at him.
"So how is today pi day?" Steve asked. "I don't understand why it's today."
"March 14th. The third month, fourteenth day. 3.14" Phil filled him in.
"Oh! I get it now!" Steve exclaimed excitedly. "Pi, 3.14, March 14th! That's clever!"
Clint had just finished up his frantic cooking when Tony strolled into the kitchen with Bruce behind him. Tony wore a shirt with many many digits of pi scrawled across the front and a large pi symbol on the back. Bruce was shirtless. The numbers that Tony had sprayed onto the Hulk had shrunk down with Bruce, leaving his chest and back littered with bold pi numbers and pictures. His arms were covered in many equations with pi as a constant. The two science husbands greeted the group with cheers of "Happy Pi day!" and "Sadly, we can't drink because I'm pregnant!"
The avengers crowded around the table, moving Steve and Thor's papers out of the way to make room for all the food Clint had made. There was chicken and rice, potatoes with Pi carved into their skins and salad. They dug in with gusto, as Clint should've been a chef, he really should've.
For their late day meal, they all trekked through New York into central park, and had a large picnic by a small stream.
It was a wonderful Pi day and Steve would never forget it.
HAPPY PI DAY EVERYONE! :D
Lol, I know… I made a pi day omegaverse fic with mpreg and thundersheild… I AM AWESOME. Do not deny it.
Anyways, im open to fic suggestions. I have no squicks, (except vore… ugh) and I love writing. So spill your ideas out to me