Really bad story by an untalented author who doesn't even speak English

Disclaimer: Don't need one! It's not wort it anyway, so... traaallaaaa!

Background info: I'm from Germany and I posted a German story to – I was asked to translate my stories in English as hardly anyone could read it. I tried but it never worked, they're too complicated - so I decided to write a simple one in English. Don't flame me, it's my first try! If you spot an obvious HORRIBLE mistake , please tell me!

Bulma was really fed up with Vegeta's arrogant behavior. * Stupid baka's too proud to admit his feelings towards me. He's told me he loved me a couple of times now... well, almost.... okay, so it was just a 'you're not as annoying today as you used to be', but still... Why doesn't he ever show just a little affection for me when we're around other people? Comment on my beauty, that would be nice. Bulma went to admire herself in a mirror... for the umpteenth time that day.

Vegeta saw her looking lovingly at her image in the mirror. He wondered why it was that these earth women were so obsessed with their looks. „It's a good thing I'm not that conceited!" Bulma shot him a mean look, wishing she could physically hurt him just a LITTLE.


Goku was stuffing his face with load after load of ChiChi's cooking, looking REALLY satisfied. ChiChi was furious, she was just ready to grab her frying pan again. *All this moron I call my husband can do is EAT, FIGHT and SLEEP. I wonder why I was so mad about getting him to marry me in the first place...... I was so beautiful back then, I could've gotten anyone I wanted!!! Someone who really cares about me, loves me, kisses the ground I walk on, adores my every move...ooops, I'm getting too carried away here. What was I doing again? Oh yeah...* BAANG.... another frying pan with the outline (shape of his hair?) of Goku's head in it. Goku didn't really know what he'd done wrong this time, but who was he to question his wife's actions? Hardly minding ChiChi's wrath (so, what else is new?), he went on eating.


ChiChi talked with Bulma on the phone.. it wasn't a usual thing for them to do, they weren't exactly close friends, but this time they'd both had the same idea.

„I'm not sure this is going to work, Bulma."

„Come on, trying won't do any harm. Wouldn't it be too funny?"

„Ummm, I don't like the idea of my dear Goku getting drugged...." (I know, it's getting UNREALISTIC NOW, SO WHAT?

„Just thinking what our lives are gonna be like if this plan works.... it'll be pure heaven! Not to mention our sex lives....."

Both women started giggling and blushing Anime style.

ChiChi was finally convinced. „Okay, we'll visit you tonight at capsule corp., make sure Vegeta's starved by then. And.... I'll help you prepare dinner, alright?"

Bulma: „Why? You know, I can cook very well."

„Suuuu.... re *cough* I just feel like I owe it to you, you came up with that great plan," ChiChi lied.

„Okay then, see ya tonight.


Everything worked out really well. Although Vegeta wasn't thrilled to have Goku around him forso long, not even being allowed to spar with the third-class Saiya-jin, he didn't object as long as there was lots of food involved. *If that baka woman Goku married wasn't that bitchy, I might even think about keeping her for the sake of her cooking....* He dug into the food...... Goku wasn't hungry that evening, he hardly ate anything....

HEY, JUST KIDDING! Of course he did.....

Both Saiya-jins, being to busy filling their stomachs, didn't notice the slight aftertaste of the strong narcotics ChiChi and Bulma had put into their meals. *I hope it wasn't too much.... naaaahhh, a Saiya-jin metabolism can take more than that, it's just enough so they'll sleep for a few hours.... but this could kill a dozen elephants. Oh well!* Bulma thought.

Vegeta was the first to feel a little dizzy. „Uuuunnngghh.... gotta eat more. *munchmunchmunch* Ung... don't feel so good ---- wait ---- starts feeling good now ---- hhhhmmmm."

Goku: „Huh? Vegeta? What's wrong with you.... you've got that happy look on your face. You're scaring me ...."

Vegeta was swooning over the table now, drooling, hardly able to sit straight... and seconds later he fell back into his seat, fast asleep.

Goku leaned over the table, distubed by Vegeta's un -royal behaviour, but stopped when it hit him. „Muuurpphhhp!" He dropped and fell face forward into a bowl of mashed potatoes. ChiChi and Bulma were shocked, they hadn't expected something like this.... but they recovered quickly, and went on with their plan. With the help of Bulma's house robots, they dragged the two Saiya-jins into Bulma's and Vegeta's bedroom.


The next morning, Vegeta struggled out of a dream that had him and Freiza dancing in pink ballet dresses, becoming conscious of his surroundings and situation slowly. A warm, soft body was lying next to him. Vegeta, still very sleepy, started stroking Bulma's hair. *Her hair's so unruly in the mornigs... almost spiky. No wonder she always spends an hour in the bathroom, fixing herself up.* Vegeta wrapped his arm around her body, resting his hand on her chest. *WAAAIIIIT. Something feels ABSOLUTELY WRONG here. What has happened to her br-..??* He opened his eyes to see Goku lying almost underneath him, snuggled into him and drooling on the pillow.

„AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! I'm going to kill you for this, Kakarrot!" Goku woke up at once and was almost as shocked as Vegeta. They jumped out of the bed, keeping as much distance from each other as possible. Both blushed furiously when they noticed they weren't wearing very much.

„Kakarrot, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO ME ???!!!" Vegeta started powering up, a blue aura surrounding him. He was so embarrassed, but kicking Kakarrot's ass would help.

„WAIT - Vegeta - I have no idea. Stop screaming or everyone will come to see what's going on!"

Being too appalled that Goku was right and what he was saying was actually reasonable, he calmed. They both began dressing (trying to keep from wondering why their clothes were strewn on the floor), glancing at each other suspiciously from time to time.

Vegeta came so close to Goku his face was right in front of..., um, underneath Goku's face. Trying to threaten the not-so-bright Saiya-jin: „Don't EVER mention this again or I'll kick your sorry ass to the next dimension."

Goku: „Hey, I'm not that stupid!Besides, you really should do something about your bad breath!"

Vegeta charged up again, so Goku left the room quickly, almost forgetting what had happened when he smelled delicious ham, eggs and toast from the kitchen. Vegeta followed him, keeping his arms crossed, a look on his face that was even more sour than his usual scowl. When they entered the kitchen they found Bulma and ChiChi already there, getting breakfast ready.

Bulma: „How do you two feel? You sure had a few drinks too much yesterday, so we just thought we'd leave you alone and went to bed. Hope you haven't got a head-ache?"

Goku shook his head, drooling over the yummy breakfast ChiChi was loading on his plate. Vegeta looked at Bulma, suspicion growing in him. *Does she know?* Bulma just smiled at him.


Bulma and ChiChi had almost pissed themselves when they'd heard the screaming and ranting coming from the bedroom, everything had worked out so well! Their men sure deserved this little lesson. They wouldn't learn anything from it, but the girls had had their fun, and that was worth it.

Some time later, the guys had gone of for some sparring. ChiChi and Bulma only noticed that something was out of the ordinary when they couldn't hear the sounds of fighting from outside. When they checked, they couldn't even find their husbands outside - no strange name attacks or blasts disrupting the peacefulness. So they started looking for them inside the capsule corp buliding.... After a while of searching for the Saiyan-jis, Bulma opened the door to her bedroom just a bit, not expecting to find them in there... but stopped and paled.

Bulma: O_O ...

ChiChi saw her change of expression. „Bulma, what - ?" The scene was too shocking for her brain to comprehend, so she fell back anime style and stayed that way.


Inside the bedroom, Vegeta and Goku were lying cuddled up to each other, in a very compromising situation... or so it seemed. As soon as Vegeta saw that his plan had worked, he jumped out of the bed, the second time that day, and got dressed again.

„Kakarrot, I'm SO glad I'll never have to touch you AGAIN other than smash your face to pulp.... but the look on my woman's face was priceless. Getting my back on them was worth even this degrading situation."

Goku blinked, his eyes filled with tears and he started sobbing.Genuinely hurt, he whined: „Does that mean you don't love me? sob It felt so good when you touched me that way..."

Vegeta looked at Goku, not believing what he was hearing, and flew off (shattering a window) as fast as he could, clearly disgusted.

Goku chuckled. *Vegeta's just too dumb*

***THE END**** sorry you had to go through this, but I warned ya!