Disclaimer I don't own Inuyasha Rumiko Takahashi, and VIZ Media do. Rated R Lemon

Kagome gets a new job she loves working as a writer at Inutaisho's newspaper. There is also a gossip columnist after seeing Kagome's stories is jealous and sets out to humiliate and destroy her. When boss Inuyasha makes a discovery things take an interesting turn. Jaken, and Miroku share a secret recreation secret. A/N new part starts the fic and is before Kag came there, added for DazzlingAmethyst, and extended3/20/13, sorry there were multiple errors I fixed, please don't kill me? Lol Inutaisho/Kag

At The Office

By Raven2010, and xxoikilluoxx, Jan 1 2013

Girl talk, in the walls, break time in the storage room

"Hey did you hear Nyoko is leaving so Sugimi is looking for a new reporter?" Sango asked her female companions

"No" Kagura, and Ayame answered

"Hope we get someone nice," Ayame replied

"Yup and female to you know so the boys don't outnumber the girls," Kagura joked

"Yeah but if we outnumber them that's fine," Sango said

"But think about it girls if the men outnumbered us we three could have our own harems," Kagura teased smiling lecherously

Next day

In the office building Sango, Kagura, and Ayame worked in they had a ladies locker room and a shower room with stalls and a bathroom. The men had theirs, there was also a gym for all of them and the females loved that, Sugimi Taisho treated his employees like family and they would defend him to the death that's how well loved he was. As usual the girls came to work early and worked out in the gym later on they headed for the shower room. Once there they turned on the water letting it run while they stripped when it was just right they got in, while bathing scratching was heard

"Did you hear that? Sango asked

"I wasn't paying attention and must have missed it," Ayame said

"I thought I heard something," Kagura replied "What was it I wonder? Do you have any idea what it could be?

"My guess would be rats,' Sango exclaimed

"Oh nice four legged pests the three legged ones are bad enough, just what we do not need in our nice new shower room," Kagura stated "But then maybe they just want to have a shower to," she joked

"Three legged ones what is that? Ayame questioned

"That my dear would be men," smirking Sango answered

"But they only have two legs," the confused she wolf stated

"Ah doll but there is a third leg," smirking Kagura teased

"Yup she means the penis dear. Kagura is a sick girl," Sango joked

"Some girls knit things some streak me I talk shit," Kagura exclaimed

"Yep too bad you couldn't get pain for doing it," Sango teased "Shhh, there it is again, hear that?" she whispered they stilled remaining quiet

"Yep rats definitely rats," Ayame said

"Want to see how I scare the little pricks so bad they never come back like I do at home? I think they put the word out on me because they do not dare come near my house anymore" Sango told them

"What the hell are you up to? You're not going to drop a bomb inside the wall are you? Kagura asked

"Nah something better be right back," she put on a pair of sweat pants and a tank top quietly sneaking out she saw Shikimaru the maintenance guy in the hall "Hey Shiki can I borrow that?

"Sure"

"Battery operated sweet," Sango exclaimed

"I am not going to ask if you want to tell me later on that's fine,"

"Aw Shiki my man Sang's going rat hunting hehehe,"

"I have rat poison traps etc all you have to do is ask,"

"Nah I prefer my method no traps or poison needed," she replied

"Okay now I'm curious so I'll bite what are you up to?"

"Scare the living shit out of them Sango style, that is why you will never see a rat so much as dare to put one whisker near my apartment," she told him

"Dear god all of these years I have been friends with the anti rat mafia," he teased

"Be back in a bit," she said and left

"Happy hunting, have fun,"

She sneaked back into the shower room ever so quietly so as not to scare them away with her weapon in hand she walked along the wall where she had heard the scratching coming from. As she crept along she noticed a hole in the wall "Ah hah rat headquarters bingo,"

"Rat headquarters," Kagura, and Ayame exclaimed then grinned

In under a split second she had her weapon ready to go the drill bit went into the hole she pushed the button on off repeatedly she loved scarring rats, a thump followed by a high pitched shriek, then to everyone's surprise the wall caved in and out fell the rat of the two legged variety landing on his ass "You were trying to kill me" weren't you? The peeping Tom said

"Well I thought it was a regular four legged rat but it seems to work on three legged ones to," Sango replied

"I lost ten years of my life because of this,"

"Could have been worse," Sango responded "Your walking stick is still attached,"

"Really and what would your definition of worse be?"

"You could have lost one or both eyes," Sango informed him

"Gulp I-I guess you're right," he stammered

Ayame on her cell phone "Yep can you come down her ASAP okay see you then,"

"Yame my pet what have you done? Kagura asked

"Something special," the she wolf smiled sadistically

"What the hell? Sango exclaimed when another thump was heard then something else fell out of the wall

"I-I wasn't here to peep at the humans or humanoid she demons, I was trying to get to Sara the female kappa usually I pass by but this time he was in my way" Please don't kill me? And most of all please do not tell Sesshoumaru sama , or Inuyasha sama? Jaken pleaded with puppy dog eyes

"Aw I can't stay mad at you, you are just so damned cute," Sango exclaimed

"Wha? Jaked started

Kagura picked him up and hugged him she and Ayame kissed his blushing red cheeks, Sango joined in Jaken squirmed then finally relaxed and decided to enjoy the attention 'females are so mushy better than dying. Wish Sara was doing this' he thought

"Okay Yame I'm here now what's going? Inuyasha started then caught sight of the wall "Oh gods damn inside the wall" are you shitting me? Of all hide and peep places inside the wall monk you keep getting sicker by the minute unbelievable. You know what my dad would do to you if he found out, Oh and look you dragged the poor toad in to" what were you trying to get him to be the lookout man?. Come on letch lets go,"

"Jaken's our baby he saved us from the big bad pervert," Ayame said

Of all the things to happen no one was expecting this to add insult to injury the water pipe in the part of the wall Miroku just fell out of broke soaking him with icy cold water "Ha, ha, ha this is too good talk about poetic justice and karma, karmas a bitch" hah? She smacked the shit out of you" Inuyasha razzed

"I don't think the pervs happy rod is saluting now," Sango teased

"Hey Roku was it cold enough for you? Ayame ragged

"Tell me is it really that cold or are you just trying to get pity? Kagura added

"W-what do y-you think? Shivering Miroku stammered

"Cheap bastard didn't even tip us for the peep show a girl can't even make a buck anymore," Kagura added

Inuyasha dragged him out by his shirt collar "Why don't you just go to a strip club or hire a hooker like normal guys?

"B-but," Miroku started

"Ah stow it letchroku," Inuyasha replied as he dragged him out, the girls applauded Miroku sighed

"But they're so luscious," Miroku whined

"I could just hand you over to my pop after I tell him what you did," the sadistically smiling hanyou replied

"Gulp Sugimi sama f- fangs claws demon rage I-I I'll pass thanks,"

"Good boy knew you'd see it my way," Inuyasha said

"Pup of mine why are you dragging a wet monk?" Sugimi asked

'Please don't tell, please don't tell' Miroku mentally begged

"Genius here thought it'd be fun to rig the seat of my toilet so that when I sat on it water would spray me so I used rat face here as a mop it was fun I must admit," Inuyasha told his father

'Thank you thank you' Miroku thought

"I see" at your ages do you boys ever get tired of your seemingly never ending battles? Sugimi inquired

"Hey as long as rat boy sees fit to screw with me hell no," smiling Inuyasha replied

"If you fools insist, but do not destroy my company or your lives are forfeit," Sugimi said

"Wouldn't dream of it daddy dearest,"

Days later

It was something no one saw coming not in a million years, it seems that Jaken, and Miroku had not only bonded but had also developed a shared new form of recreation, it was break time and the two Inuyasha had dubbed the frog monk twins sneaked off to their favorite hiding place which also happened to be connected to the buildings air shaft ventilation system in the storage room, it began in comical ways

"How are my girls today? Inuyasha playfully asked "Need me to run errands for you get you some lady products Tampex, Midol, Kotex pads etc? He whispered "Shhh it's our secret," he winked

"He's offering to get us things that usually the mere mention of makes him run like hell the other way," wide eyed with shock Kagura said

"I think boss man had a few nips of sake," Ayame added

"Ah Inuyasha not that I'm am complaining or anything and thanks for the offer but" are you drunk? Sango asked

"No my favorite girls I just feel wonderful don't know why just do,"

"Ah hah," the suspicious females exclaimed

Then a door opened "Little brother," Sesshoumaru started and paused "Would dearest little brother like to go to the Three Axes heavy metal concert with me?

"Oh my god" am I on another planet? Hates heavy metal music Sesshoumaru asking Inuyasha to go to one with him? Surprised and rubbing her eyes in disbelief then looking again Sango said

"My ears must be damaged," Ayame added

"If it weren't Sessh I'd say he was on a cocaine high," Ayame commented

"Sure but after we see the opera kay," Inuyasha answered

"You have yourself a deal," Sesshoumaru replied

"Opera hating Inuyasha, and heavy metal hating Sessh going to opera and heavy metal concerts oh now I know I'm in the fucking twilight zone," Kouga said

"Are you two stoned on demon sake? Jakotsu asked

"Have we been transported to another planet or an alternate universe? Bankotsu questioned

Then something unexpected happened "Yash would you help me pick out some new dresses at the mall? Ayame asked

"Sure I'd love to,"

"Hah? Inuyasha helping Yame pick out dresses? Kagura, and Sango exclaimed

"Can I come too? Kouga said

"Whaaaaat? The rest of the staff exclaimed "We lost another team member,"

"Manly macho Kouga too?" Others responded

"Alright what's going on here? What has happened to my staff? Sugimi asked as he came in through the front door "Never mind, so that's what's going on here,"

"Oh Sugimi sama he is so dreamy we love him so," the females sang

Sugimi pulled the cover off of the buildings air shaft vent "Popsy whatcha ya doing? Talking more like Inuyasha than himself Sesshoumaru questioned

"Our sire has a mission it seems," Sounding like Sesshoumaru Inuyasha added

"Oh boy, a dog has got to do what a dog's got to do," Sugimi said next the big inu turned into something he rarely turned into then slipped into the vent

"Look pop is going exploring," Sesshoumaru said "Hope he brings back something good,"

"Yes I hope our sire doesn't eat anyone," Inuyasha joked

Meanwhile

Jaken and Miroku sat on the floor of the storage room with their backs against the wall happier than two peas in a pod they were snapped back to reality when something hit the floor the air shaft cover. Both nearly dropped dead at the sight of a huge thick snake that stuck it's head out it's tongue flicking out as if tasting something. The snake slowly an inch at a time began slithering out

"Ahhhhhhh," the monk and Kappa shrieked

"He he's going to-to eat us," Jaken cried out

"I don't wa-want to die," Miroku stuttered their demon reefer cigarettes dropping on the floor and they hugged each other in fear

"Sssss" the big snake hissed

"Run" both males screamed, Miroku put Jaken over his shoulder and ran like hell headed for the main office area

'Suckers' the snake thought

The snake turned around heading back to where it came from. Miroku entered the main office "Snake, snake," he yelled

"Yeah we know monk the mighty snake in your tiny pants give it a rest will ya?" Sesshoumaru said

"Yes fool it is very undignified you are a poor example of the male gender," Inuyasha said

"Wha? The Kappa and Monk began and paused

"Lor-lord Sesshoumaru sounds like master Inuyasha?" Jaken exclaimed in shock

"And Inuyasha like his brother," Miroku added "It it's like having an Inuyashamaru,"

"Oh keep your jock straps on straight before you irreversibly and permanently twist your nuts out of shape and wind up with dropped balls for life," Sesshoumaru wisecracked "I've got the cure for that boys three thumps over your thick skulls,"

"Will it be necessary for me to put you two in a cage, then perhaps on display as the new exhibit at the local zoo?" Inuyasha asked "Or must I employ far more drastic measures?

"No" the fear filled imp and monk answered "D-don't kill us," they stammered

Then a scraping sound was heard "Ahhhhhhhhh," Miroku and Jaken shrieked when their friend the airshaft snake made his second appearance "You-you can't eat us," they hugged again in terror

"Oh no you don't, you two chicken shits," Sesshoumaru said as he grabbed the two trying to flee demon reefer fiends by the collars of their shirts

"No he wants to eat us," Miroku whined

"Jus-just look at the hungry look in his eyes," Jaken stammered

The snake dropped out of the air shaft landing on the floor glowing the two shrieked in terror "Hello boys," Sugimi greeted after turning back into his humanoid form "Miss me?

"Why you," Miroku, and Jaken griped

"Smoking demon reefer near the air shaft in the storage room on the job no wonder Sesshoumaru is acting and talking like Inuyasha, and Inuyasha like him, everyone is stoned" what should I do with you two?

"le-let us live," they stammered

"Hey popsy I could turn into my dog form and eat them I could use a snack," licking his lips Sesshoumaru teased

"Bon appetite, I on the other hand have no desire to die of indigestion," Inuyasha added in a dignified Sesshoumaru like way

"You two are so cute I should get you stoned once and a while," Sugimi teased

New job, introductions, my secret admirer

Hi my name is Kagome Higurashi I am a college graduate I graduated journalism class with top honors, and just started a great new job that I love at The Tokyo Times as a newspaper reporter. It being my first day I was so nervous the staff here is great and made my first day so easy and stress free I don't think I've ever been happier in my whole life. My boss Inuyasha is the fun loving hellionish type of guy with a heart of gold, his brother Sesshoumaru is a total hottie and the company CEO they have their comical moments. Then she came along and things took a hellish turn but to understand how it all began let me take you back to the beginning

"I am so nervous," Kagome exclaimed

"Don't worry dear you'll make a great first impression," her mother praised

"You don't think my outfit is to trampy do you?"

"Sexy yes, trampy no, rose red cut to fit your shape jacket and skirt and black shirt with black shoes you look stunning. You may need a stick to beat the wolves off,' Hitomi teased

"Aw thanks mom you're my biggest fan,"

"I'm your number one fan,"

"And president of the fan club," Kagome teased "Well time to go," she finished and left

At the job

I pulled up into the parking lot parked turned the engine off locked the car then headed toward where I hoped my new job would be. I had to stomp down the butterflies that were flying double time in my stomach. I entered the building and was greeted by the receptionist Keade a friendly older woman at the lobby desk she directed me to go to the third floor, I thanked her and left. Taking the elevator I felt demonic auras as it headed up the nearer it got the stronger it became, the auras were strong and youkai powers immense but I sensed no danger a miko working for youkais this would indeed be a very interesting situation. The elevator stopped and I looked at the door The Tokyo Times I took a deep breath and steeled myself walked over to and opened the door entered and closed it behind me

"Good morning may I help you?" the secretary greeted

"Yes hi my name is Kagome Higurashi I have an appointment for a job interview,"

"Ah yes I have you right here since your early, why don't you just come in?" she replied "I'm Ayame nice to meet you, between you and I, I think you've already got the job. A miko working with demons strange I love strange,"

'I've already got a new friend' Kagome thought "Thanks I was kind of nervous,"

"Don't be Inuyasha's our boss he's a real sweetheart but watch out he loves to tease you'll like the others to,"

'He sounds Interesting' Kagome thought

"Hello everybody this is Kagome Higurashi," Ayame introduced her to them

"Hello Kagome," they replied

"Well hello there lovely lady will you bear," Miroku started getting swiftly cut off

"Down boy" Sango said with her hand on his shoulder holding him in place "Hello Kagome this is our resident pervert Miroku aka the butt inspector his idea of inspection is stroking ladies bottoms,"

"Sango I am not perverted," Miroku protested

"Sure you're not," the females simultaneously exclaimed "Liar"

"Yup he's known as the butt groper 2000," Bankotsu told her "Hi I'm Bankotsu,"

"Yes Ayame's first day here he went straight for her backside and our girl flipped him over her shoulder and like a pancake he landed flat on his back," Jakotsu told her

"Thanks for nothing Jakotsu," Miroku protested

"You're welcome darling,"

"Ayame's first day here I told ya no wolf whacking" but did you listen? No" Kouga said "Hi beautiful I am Kouga,"

"Hey Kouga," Kagome replied

"Aw I think our wolf has a crush," Sango teased

"If she's single and willing I'll make her my woman only after courting her first of course," Kouga said

Kagome looked and saw another door set back away from the rest of the area with a name on the door chief editor Inuyasha Taisho. And a beautiful black haired woman with rose red lips wearing a feather in her hair. Ayame led Kagome to her "Kagura this is Kagome, Kagome this is Kagura,"

"Nice to meet you," Kagura, and Kagome said to each other at the same time

"She'll be meeting Inuyasha soon he's just finishing up a call right now," Kagura told Ayame "Your early he loves that it betters your chances to," she said looking at Kagome

"Thanks" Kagome replied

"He's a bit rough around the edges," Kagura started when a door opened

"He's a bit what?" Inuyasha said as he stepped out of his office

"Our favorite dog and we love him to pieces," Kagura razzed

"That isn't what I heard, I know all about the wench union and the secret gossip meetings," he smirked

"If he's a bad boy just use a high pitched shriek he's absolutely adorable with his ears pinned against his head. On a good day you get the triple special he puts his hands over them and cringes to," Kagura needled

"Gee thanks give away company secrets, why don't ya?" Inuyasha shot back "Snitch"

"Stow it Yash,'

"No, no you don't stay away," he protested trying to escape "Ohhhhh Kagura come on stop, I have fleas," he tried

"See instant hanyou tamer and tranquilizer," Kagura said

"He's purring," Kagome exclaimed "Never knew they did that he's adorable,"

"Yep inu ears are very sensitive," Kagura told her

"Traitorous wench," Inuyasha griped

"I like this place already," grinning Kagome exclaimed

"Little brother playing purring puppy toes again?" entering Sesshoumaru exclaimed

"Stow it fluffy," Inuyasha snapped

"Fluffy I mean Sesshoumaru Taisho this is Kagome Higurashi," Kagura introduced

"Real cute Kagura," He replied "A miko interesting," he exclaimed looking at Kagome "Welcome"

"Yes, and thank you," Kagome answered 'I feel so at home here' she thought

"Okay she knows my ear secret she's hired, and no telling under penalty of death," Inuyasha said

"Knew you'd see things my way," Kagura replied everyone welcomed her

"Damn female dog killers," Inuyasha exclaimed "There ought to be a law,"

Sesshoumaru's cell phone rang he answered "My son is purring,"

Hearing that voice "Oh no," Inuyasha whimpered

"Yes father apparently an ear massage sends him back to his puppy days," Seshoumaru told his father

Kagome nearly lost her breath when after the door opened and in stepped a tall sexy gorgeous and sinful as all hell silver haired godly looking male. Inuyasha's eyes widened then "Hello Inuyasha sama," he said while bowing

"Eeeee, not you," he shrieked and ran "No anything anybody but you,"

The male looked at Kagome "Nice to meet you miko," then took off after the fleeing hanyou

"Wow that was odd," Kagome said

"Yes Sugimi loves a good morning run," Sadistically grinning Kagura told her

Kagome and the group bonded quickly and were like peas in a pod and Siamese twins joined at the hip, at and outside of work they were like family. With Kagome working there the paper was thriving and sales were up through the roof almost more than they could handle

A couple of days later

Kagome arrived at work and found a package wrapped in silver paper with a beautiful blue silk ribbon on it sitting on her desk, she walked over to her desk, sat down, then carefully began to unwrap it so as not to rip the pretty silver paper. Once the box was unwrapped she opened the red velvet covered box and gasped when she saw what was inside a silver chain with a tear drop shaped diamond on it she was literally in shock for a second her mouth was agape and she stared at it as if in a trance

"What did somebody send you a parking ticket by special delivery? Inuyasha teased when he saw her facial expression

"No mutt it is your dog collar the kennel sent it to her desk by mistake," Kouga jabbed "Look pink your fav,"

"Holy shit," approaching Kagura, and Jakotsu exclaimed when he looked

"What? What? Ayame asked

"Oh my god," Sango said

"At a girl Kags," Ayame added with a smile

"Kagome's got a boyfriend," Bankotsu teased

"No I don't, last time I checked I didn't," Kagome said

"Well you do now," Miroku exclaimed "Is there a card, a note anything?

"Right forgot to look for one," she looked and found one inside the lid of the box

To my raven haired angel with those angelic chocolate eyes that hypnotize

Your grace your love you're a gift sent to me from heaven above

I saw this and thought of you

Yours truly

Silver Fox

"Wow he's a sexy one," Kagura commented "Is there a name on it?

"No name dammit," Kagome said "But he has excellent taste,"

"Aw my little wench caught herself a big one with wads of cash," Inuyasha razzed "And she wasn't even trying,"

Friday

Kagome was invited to come to the Taisho house for dinner along with Sango and the rest of their gang. Kagome was the last to arrive and would see and hear something she would never in a million years expect, as Sango opened the door "Silence you walking talking reeking needs to be flushed rancid banana," Sesshoumaru said

"Ooo Sesshy got his banana peeled than it fell off," the hanyou jabbed "Rust rot will do that,"

"Little brother got his knob polished by the floor buffer because he couldn't get a female to do it." Sesshoumaru shot back "Not even after a five thousand dollar bribery offer,"

"Sesshy as all the girls call him gets his nuts waxed because a machete could not cut through that overgrown snowy forest that grows there and where his peanut sized penis hides shivering from fear and the cold,"

"Like a real man at least I have hair you furless Chihuahua," was Sesshoumar's sharp reply

"Too lazy to use a razor like normal people,"

"Thank you now we know, no wonder your razor blades are always broken," Sesshoumaru shot back

"Lying fucker,"

"It would be much safer and painless if you used hair remover, you moronic fur ball," Sesshoumaru needled

"Hey mutt you could always use inu magic it's the best and strongest fur remover there is only five bucks a can cheapskate," Kouga taunted

"Oh yeah the good stuff you mix the powder with water make a paste apply and in five minutes you have that bare as a new born baby look," Kagura added

"Our bosses act like this, are these really our bosses?" Kagome asked

"Yep, fun hah?" grinning Sango replied as she took and hung her coat "And it only gets better,"

"Aw how cute," Kagome smirked as a memory entered her mind "I do owe him for swiping my blueberry muffin Friday,"

"What is Kaggy up to?

"Watch and see,' Kagome replied "He could always use a laser on them that gets rid of the hair permanently, a great side benefit is the ball twins would be cool and happy for the summer,"

"Damn wenches," Inuyasha griped "And you Kagome you're the worst one at least Kagura said hair remover,"

"I thought you'd like to keep the jewels warm while permanently getting rid of the hair, hey I could' have said use gasoline and a match but I didn't,"

"Lay down spread em and I'll give you the damned laser treatment," Inuyasha said "We've got gas out back to so move it inupapa hates to wait,"

"Nope sorry I like my forest too much to part with it,"

Inuyasha smirked "Wait right there while I get the hedge clippers then I'll play forest ranger,"

My Silver haired dream girl

"Oh letchypoo? Inuyasha called

"Letchypoo? The females exclaimed

"Yup letch, letchypoo his new nickname for Miroku only Roku doesn't know it yet and boy is he going to hate it" Jakotsu said

"Watch this is going to be good," Kagura added

"Letchypoo, who the hell is letchypoo? Miroku questioned

"Letchypoo are you coming to the club with us tonight or what? Inuyasha answered

"I hate that name use that name in public and I am going to kill you,"

"Oh Roku I tremble with fear you man you I love it when you talk dirty but throw some spice on it and up it to an R rating," Inuyasha taunted

"Girls bid your cute little hanyou a fond farewell because he is about to expire by my hand,"

"Damn what a cheap bastard what no romance courting gifts sniff or love?" the evilly smiling fake weeping hanyou replied. Miroku glared murderously and the chasing started "I knew you cared this proves it," Miroku growled

That night at the club

The gang entered the club searching for and finding a place where they could all sit together there was live music the performers there were great. The band was setting up First thing Miroku said is that he hoped it would be a beautiful girl Sango frowned the others grinned. The group had ordered drinks and food the band was all done setting and was ready to start the lights went down low, a stool had been set front and center of the stage Miroku was almost panting when he saw long silver hair he couldn't see her face that was covered by her bangs she sat down and started her voice was sultry deep and mesmerizing

"She, she is a goddess," Miroku exclaimed "My queen,"

"Ah geez pervs in love," Inuyasha commented "Somebody call the zoo and have the tranquilizer darts ready,"

"Zip it dog boy,"

"I did moron that's why my junk ain't hanging out," Inuyasha shot back

I feel the flame of love burning deep within when you take my hand and lead me to the dance floor the intensity in your eyes speaks volumes and I can see into your soul hold me, hold me close and never let go and let your true feelings show

Stolen kisses in the night a love that time can never erase passion pleasure ecstasy not yet shared but soon enough will be

Your passion filled eyes bore into my very soul how I wish this night would never end lips as sweet as wine I thank the gods you are mine

"Oh she's singing to me," Miroku gushed "My silver haired dream girl,"

"Oh brother don't cream your panties Sheena she hasn't even said hello yet," Inuyasha razzed

"Shit right now I bet he could use that thing as a coat hanger," Bankotsu teased

"Shhh, zip it she might hear you than I'll never have a chance with her," Miroku complained

"Like you have one now," Ayame jabbed "Keep dreaming,"

"Don't you know he's looking to starch the sheets," Kouga needled

"Remember one coat of starch only or your clothes will come out to stiff," Sango said

"Well I hope the fuckers wearing a diaper because if he's not and the pipe breaks he'll flood the whole club and we'll drown," Inuyasha ragged

"Oh gross that's disgusting," the others exclaimed in unison

"Jealous are we? Miroku needled the other males, Miroku eyes were filled with adoration for his dream girl

"Please between Bank, Kouga, Sessh and myself we've laid more pipe throughout Japan than one hundred plumbing companies put together," Inuyasha jabbed "Your hand is mightier than and has seen more action then your rod,"

"Hope you remembered to wear a rubber each time you wouldn't want junior to give women penis rabies," Miroku shot back. Then turned his full attention back to the singer

"Shit" Inuyasha whispered at the same time gently jabbing Kouga's ribs with his elbow

"I know,"

"I can hardly wait," Inuyasha replied

"Yo monk, haven't you figured it out yet? Kouga called snapping Miroku out of his lusting trance

"No, figured what out?"

"Never mind," Kouga answered

"Figured out that your perverted ass is going to get bitch slapped by a sexy girl for your wandering hand," Kagome teased

The song finished the singer stood up she bowed when she heard applause, with one hand she brushed her bangs back off of her face at the same time the lights came back on and that is the exact moment Miroku got a good look at his dream girl he turned a deathly shade of white and looked like he was about to drop dead any second.. He tried to speak but nothing came out his eyes were as wide as saucers as he looked at her reality hit like a ton of bricks when he realized the girl of his dreams was Sesshoumaru Miroku really wanted to faint how could it be? How was it possible? The voice sounded female

Kouga fell out of his seat landed on his butt went down on his back on the floor holding his aching stomach one foot stomping the floor "I-it-it's a guy," gasping for air Kouga managed to get out "Ja-jackpot,"

"Best of all its fl-fluffy," lying over the table panting Inuyasha got out "Which one is going to b-be the wife? Sessh is all man so it'll be the m-monk"

"Wow monk congratulations sh-she's a goddess," Kagura jabbed "No nooky till the wedding night,"

"Nooooo, it can't be it he sounded like a female," Miroku wailed "You bastards set me up and worst of all with Sesshoumaru,"

"F-fuck you I didn't even know he sang here or that he could sing like a girl," Inuyasha managed to get out

"Me and Yash caught his scent a while ago," Kouga told him "Will you be a loving loyal wife?

"And you pricks couldn't tell me that a long time ago,"

"But you were in love and who are we to stand in the way of love?" Inuyasha said "Will you bear his puppies?

Kagome and the other females leaned against each other so they wouldn't fall over from laughing so hard "Aw I hope he did not buy wedding rings," Kagome teased

"Mon k could you not tell that I am male it is obvious, it is not as if I disguised myself as a female?" Sesshoumaru said as he walked toward them

"Sesshoumaru you can sing like a girl? Kagome asked

"Yes I come here it is something to do for fun it really is quite entertaining but mostly I use my natural male voice,"

"Sessh I-I love you man," still laughing and panting for air Inuyasha managed to say that made everyone bust out laughing all over again "You rule bro,"

"Little brother?"

"Yes fluffy puppy toes," Inuyasha answered

"Sleep with one eye open," Sesshoumaru responded

"Drama queen,"

"And monk we are divorced," Sesshoumaru said to rattle Miroku's cage

'Eeew" Miroku responded making happy Sesshoumaru grin sadistically "I am so damaged and traumatized forever I may never want to have sex again,"

"Fluff has a sense of humor who would have thought it?" Inuyasha teased

"I see you have met my lovely daughter" does this mean I am going to have grand puppies? A deep male voice spoke

"Oh great Sugimi sama," Miroku whined slapping his forehead with an open palm "Why fucking me?"

"Fear not monk I know without a doubt that you and Sesshousuki will create the most beautiful grand puppies," Sugimi continued

"Sa-sadistic bastard," Inuyasha whispered to Kouga gasping between laughs "Damn my st-stomach,"

"Dog breath your father is sick," Kouga choked out "I hope I never find myself on his hit list,"

"Sugimi sama is a hilarious terror," Jaken added downing a shot of hard liquor "Better get started on those puppies soon,"

"But I like girls," Miroku protested

"You will marry my daughter and start working on making those grand pups right away I think there will be a litter three maybe four to start,"

"I'll be the best man," Jaken gushed

"Father? Sesshoumaru called

"Yes my darling daughter?"

"Sesshousuki for that alone you should die fear not I am going to kill you slow and painfully," Sesshoumaru promised "And Jaken you are destined to be toad paste,"

"Thank you mi lord,"

"Puppies" are you insane puppies? And I as well as Sesshoumaru love the female gender," Miroku said

"Oh boy I'll be an uncle," Bankotsu, Kouga, Jakotsu, and Inuyasha teased

"And we'll be aunties," the females squealed

"Better oil your gears and get started Sesshousuki is one horny d-dog and inus hate to wait," laughing Inuyasha got out "It-it is going to be an all night long ride better take a bottle of vitamins,"

"Oh Sesshousuki yes, yes don't stop it feels so good," Kagura ragged "A little to the left that's it, Yeeeees,"

"Will you bear my puppies? Sango added

"I vote we disembowel him," Sesshoumaru exclaimed in a cool deadly tone

"Deal" Miroku agreed

"Now boys I mean Sesshousuki, and Miroku you do not mean it," Sugimi said

"I'll kill you," Sesshoumaru, and Miroku screamed with their hands held out in a choking someone position

"Some people are just so ungrateful," Sugimi replied and ran

"You know this is the best club night I've ever had," Ayame exclaimed they agreed

"Miroku may try to purify him and Sesshoumaru will definitely use his acid whip," Kagura added

"Aw poor inu papa he's such a gentle loving caring dog," Kagome teased everyone broke out laughing harder

Gifts, flamed, an invitation

Monday of the following week

Kagome was sitting at her desk when man arrived with a big bouquet of red roses "Kagome Higurashi?

"Over here she replied," he headed straight to her

"These are for you," he said

"Thank you,"

"You're welcome, the card is attached to the side," he told her before turning and leaving

"Oh boy Kaggy got goodies," Inuyasha teased

"Back off mutt,"

"Right after you drop dead mangy wolf," Inuyasha jabbed

"Ah keep your shirt I mean skirt on,"

Kagome's heart nearly stopped when she saw a pair of silver tear drop shaped diamond earrings inside of a glass egg that was held on by a blue silk ribbon that was tied in a bow around the flower bouquet. She untied the ribbon took the card opened it and began to read

To my moonlight rose even the angels weep with joy when casting eyes upon the beauty that is you when cloudy skies darken the day to see sunshine they need only to look your way

How I long to kiss those rose petal lips and feel my hands upon your sexy round hips

Day and night I pine because so badly I want to make you mine

Yours truly

Silver fox

"Damn he's deep,"

"Shit Inuyasha will you stop sneaking up on people like that?" startled Kagome scolded when he unexpectedly popped up behind her

"Oh Kagome, Oh Kagome I want to introduce you to my bony. When cometh daybreak for you my lonely nuts ache," Inuyasha teased with his right hand over his heart and left arm extended outward at his side

"Keep it up dog boy and I'll take you to the vet you are about do for your yearly shots,"

"If it's a girl vet I'll be the good dog I am and bone her on the exam table, in a dog cage or the back room I'm not picky just horny. The animals could learn a few things by watching to,"

"Learn a few things ya more like how to be traumatized for life," Bankotsu teased "Some may even die,"

"Oh my freaking gods he has done the impossible and surpassed Miroku," Jakotsu exclaimed

"Hah hear that so you can't call me pervert anymore," Miroku added "And you, you dirty walking upright hentai inu weasel you're a bigger perv than me. But props on the humping areas you picked,"

"Miroku," Sango exclaimed, his response was a devious smile

"See the letch approves," Inuyasha gloated with a perverted grin

"Is this a newspaper office or an inu and monk porn site? Kagome razzed, snickers echoed throughout the room

"No it's a dating service your husband sending you diamonds here proves that," the smart aleck hanyou joked

"Gulp h-h-husband?" Kagome stammered

"Yes my dear wench any guy that sends you rocks like that is making a serious claim so you might as well say husband,"

"Inu-Inuyasha sh-shut up," the blushing miko nervously stuttered

"Better start picking out a wedding dress snookums," loving the look of horror on her face he smiled

"And you better start making reservations at the nearest funeral home," Kagome shot back

"Only after you let Yasha junior comb your fur piece first," he waited a moment "You know if he is a dog he will mount you and play rocket launcher from behind and we dogs take it wherever we can, woof," he smiled wickedly as he watched her eyes widen and face burn deep red

Early Tuesday morning

Everyone arrived at work set up their work areas and prepared to start the day. Kagome had been asked to sample food from and give reviews of local restaurants, she loved it trying a different food every week was a treat. She sat down on her office chair and pulled it up to her desk turned on her computer and waited for it to come on. Sango's did and when it did something popped up

Chat room sight

Oyki

"She calls herself a writer,"

Aryu

"More like graduate of Moron University,"

Oyki

"I know right?'

Aryu

"I could do better than her on crack,"

Oyki

"I know she doesn't know WTF punctuation is. Probably sucked her way to the top if you know what I mean,"

Aryu

"Yup lots of deep throat,"

Oyki

"They should just call her Kawhorey Higusucky,"

"What the fuck? Sango exclaimed not realizing how loudly she'd said it

"What's wrong? The others asked

"Shit sorry, come and get a look at this," they headed to Sango's desk "Read this sweet little love fest,'

After reading it "What the hell is that? Kouga questioned

"It's a chat sight I visit but this is something new. Aryu, and Oyki they're new,"

"Disgusting,"Jaken commented "It is probably two ugly jealous not getting any tarts," the group laughed

"Sucked my way to the top hah wimp hides behind anonymity I'd whip that bitches ass otherwise," Kagome spat angrily "Somehow someday I will find you," she scowled

"Skeeze is probably so ugly she could stop traffic," Jakotsu added

'Hey Friday you all better get your buts to my house your invited to dinner and spend the weekend," Inuyasha informed them "Sunday is fluffys birthday we're having a party for the striped mutt,"

"Ooo an invite to the top secret dog den," Ayame teased

"Should we bring dog bones? Kagura joked

"Not necessary we supply the bones," Inuyasha teased and winked "Unless you want a special one,"

"Oh my gods he's in pervert mode overdrive," Sango exclaimed "Watch out Kagura dog with a hit list,"

Meet Inupapa, happy birthday Sesshoumaru sama, Inuyasha's baby

Friday

Kagome arrived at Inuyasha's house with Sango, Ayame, and Kagura, she rang the doorbell a tall man opened the door "Well hello there," he greeted Kagome mentally gulped hard

'It's him' she thought her heart rate sped up, he inwardly smirked

"Inypapa," excited Kagura, Sango, and Ayame exclaimed and hugged them "Your back,"

"Hello my lovelies," he replied while hugging them back "I had to come back some time I couldn't leave my girls alone,"

"Papa you've already met Kagome Higurash," Ayame started and was cut off

"Yes the new girl Kagome who took my newspaper to the top and beyond Sugimi replied "It is a pleasure to have you visit my home,"

"Thank you," Kagome replied and shook his hand "You own the newspaper?

"More than that my dear I own the whole building,"

"Holy crap," Kagome said then clamped her hand over her mouth and blushed slightly with embarrassment, he grinned, she took her hand off of her mouth "Oh sorry I didn't mean to,"

"Do not be it is refreshing to draw such reactions from certain individuals plus I find it quite humorous," Sugimi told her "Most people are surprised I am not at the office all of the time like I used to be but I think I will be coming around more now,"

After hearing what his father said silently Inuyasha looked at Sesshoumaru and wordlessly held up his arms in front of him his hands bent at the wrists panting looking very much like a dog standing on its hind legs begging for a treat. Saying nothing grinning trying not to laugh at his brothers antics Sesshoumaru nodded in agreement without words both agreeing that Sugimi liked their Kagome

Sunday Sesshoumaru's birthday

"Oh little brother?" Sesshoumaru called

"This Inuyasha is an only pup he has no siblings,"

"And this Sesshoumaru is not going to have a brother when he kicks your ass,"

"Ouch, somebody got his tail in a twist,"

"Where are the contents of my box? Sesshoumaru asked

'What, you're box of dog biscuits? Your doggie chew toy shaped like a cat?

"You know what box I would like its contents returned to me at once," Sesshoumaru answered

"Your special box?" he taunted

"Special box, what did he do? Sango asked when

"Shit I know Sessh's special box his stash," Kouga exclaimed

"What candy? Miroku asked

"Something really good," Kouga teasingly answered

"Talk wolf," Sango said threateningly

"If you don't tell us what soon you are going to be one dead and furless wolf," Kagome warned

"Yawn, what has my bad puppy done now," Stretching Sugimi asked "I was having the nicest dream," he wore a devious grin, surmising what kind it was Miroku smirked, Kouga leaned in and whispered in Sugimi's ear "Cough, shit,"

"Hey share time us poor inferior without super youkai hearing humans want in on the secret," Kagome protested

"Sorry babe canine privilege can't divulge top secret info," Kouga replied

"Why you,"

"You will return my property to me before I de jewel you," Sesshourumaru threatened

"As if you overgrown poodle," cocky Inuyasha replied it remained silent to silent "Aw did big bad fluffy," he started "Eek" he shrieked when Seshoumaru soundlessly and suddenly popped up behind him

"Now listen you rabid senile puppy I want what is mine,"Sesshoumaru informed him

"Gee don't get you're already tangled crotch fur in a twist,"

"Little brother you are mere moments away from death," Sesshoumaru said

"What are you whining about? I left you a gift you big baby, and not a cheap one either"

"You call this a gift?" Sesshoumaru replied though seething he hid it well beneath a calm exterior

"Sessh what the hell did the little creep do? Kagome asked

"He replaced my property with something stupid,"

"Inuyasha tell or I'll s-i-t you," Kagome said spelling it to stress her point

"Forget it wench it's guy business,"

"Really? Sesshoumaru exclaimed "I shall show you," he threw the box to her

"Balloons in a condom box," Kagome replied

"What? Their multi colored" Inuyasha wisecracked

"So are your bruises going to be," Sesshoumaru said

"Stop bitching I left replacements, remember bro with girls no glove no love,"

"You best remember no brain no gain. Balloons, you cannot use them in place of condoms," Sesshoumaru said

"Sure ya can a little Vaseline and a lot of imagination will get the job done,"

"You sound like a professional" speaking from experience mutt? You've probably got puppies all over town that we don't know about," Kouga needled

"Hope he's paying puppy support," Sango joked

"Line up my sexy wenches then there will be plenty of puppies around here after I plant my seeds," Inuyasha retorted "Let's get started right now,"

"Inuyasha you dirty dog," Kagome exclaimed

"Woof, woof baby meet me in the back room and I'll show you how a dog buries a bone," he teased and panted

"Crap I cannot believe it the mutts a bigger perv than the monk," Kouga said

In a flash Seshoumaru had Inuyasha by the throat and pinned against the wall "You will return to me that which is rightfully mine or die here, I am sure you will make excellent plant fertilizer and father can always make a replacement pup with some nice obliging female," he smiled evilly

'Cough, o okay in the room over there," Inuyasha said at the same time pointing, Sesshoumaru let go Inuyasha landed on his ass with a thud rubbing his neck "Rough much cough?"

Sesshoumaru walked over to the door and opened it "Growl"

"Happy birthday Sesshoumaru sama," Inuyasha tauntingly exclaimed

All eyes were now on a dripping wet and furious taiyoukai with things hanging from his person "I see when Sesshoumaru opened the door he was hit with water filled condoms inventive but juvenile," Miroku said

"So this is how it is, hah?" deadly calm Sesshoumaru exclaimed and in silence walked out through the front door

"No blood, carnage, maiming, or death this is bad," Sugimi whispered to Bankotsu and the other males agreed

"Inuyasha you've gone too far" haven't you ever heard never mess with a man's love gloves? Bankotsu asked

"You have given me a special gift I wish to reciprocate and give one to you as well," evilly smiling Sesshoumaru said and dropped it on the floor in front of the hanyou

"My baby, you didn't, you murdered my baby you prick," Inuyasha wailed "What did she ever do to you?

"Sorry I did not have time to giftwrap," Sesshoumaru replied tauntingly "However a gift is still a gift,"

"Porsha my baby" how will I go on without you? He carried on picking up the steering wheel of his new sports car and hugging it as if it were alive and in need of comfort

"He named it?" Sango asked

"Yes she is his one true love," Sugimi told them "I truly believe if it was alive he'd marry her,"

"Laters little fella," proud gloating Sesshoumaru used Inuyasha's trademark wisecrack laters and headed to his room "Happy early birthday dear younger brother,"

"Guess this means you're a widow, hah, mutt?" Kouga taunted

"Shut up my baby is dead and all you can do is tease" how can you be so heartless? What did she ever do to you? Inuyasha whined

"Ah lose one wench get another," Kouga jabbed "Wenches are like street cars a new one passes by every minute,"

"Not like Porsha she was one of a kind," the hanyou carried on "I'll kill you later got to go now," he left with the steering wheel in hand headed to his car. The group howled with laughter hearing that "Bastards" he cursed "Don't be afraid baby daddy's here it's going to be okay," Inuyasha exclaimed while stroking the side of his car

"You know if that thing was alive I'd think he was in love with it," Sango commented

"I see his and her towels," Jakotsu joked

"And picking out china patterns to," Ayame added

"Wait until he goes to buy rings for her" can't you just see the look on the jewelers face now? Miroku said

"Just before the poor jeweler almost pisses his pants laughing," Jaken agreed

"So Kouga it's condoms why the war over mere condoms?" Kagome inquired

"Oh their not ordinary condoms my dear Kagome,"

"How so?

"They are demon condoms and are specially made for us, they have something added that human condoms do not," he told her

"Like what?

"When we do the deed the female gets more pleasure then usual and more then she would with human condoms their specifically made that way. Hell we have human guys buying them, they agree not to tell anyone about it and get a never ending supply," Kouga explained

"Oh wow that sounds so good,"

"Yup poor human girls don't know what hit them," the grinning ookami said and put one arm around her shoulders "Now ya know and I have to swear you to secrecy," he teased

"Like I'm going to tell," Kagome said "Hell I want to be on your customer lis," she started but was cut off

"Miko, will you please come with me?" Sugimi asked with an extended arm and open hand

"Yes okay," she took his hand and they left

"What is that all about? Sango asked

"I think Sugimi likes Kagome," Ayame said

"You mean like likes her? Sango exclaimed

"Exactly,"

"Maybe mi lord wants to do some lip exercises if you know what I mean," Jaken teased

"Yep lots of kissing," Sango exclaimed

"Yup I felt his jealousy when I had my arm around her shoulders," Kouga told them

"I think we have a mating slash wedding coming," smiling Jakotsu added

"Hehehe if it does Inuyasha will drop a litter of kittens when he finds out," Sango said, they laughed

Special delivery, flamer, doing it Inuyasha's way

The mailroom guy Seito came up with the daily mail delivery came up and gave Sango, and Seito were buddies "Seito baby did they send my mink coat yet? She teased

"No sweetheart sorry," Seito teased

"Sniff okay," Sango replied with a fake pout

"Don't cry you'll get wrinkles," he joked

"Kaggy got mail for you," Sango announced

"Coming," Kagome got up and bolted to Sango's desk "Thanks sis,"

"That'll be fifty dollars,"

"Keep dreaming,," Kagome replied, she went back to her desk and sat down then proceeded to open her package, she pulled out the content opened it and began to read "What?

"What's wrong? The others asked

"Look at this, come and look at this," Kagome answered. Sango was the first to arrive followed by Kagura and the others it was a newspaper conveniently opened to a specific page where an article was easily found in a newspaper called The Gossip Gourmet

I do not know where Miss Higurashi went to school but she certainly is not a legitimate newspaper reporter, look at her article if you can call it that in The Tokyo Times

There is no punctuation, sentence structure, grammar, or story line did she even finish school? Did she graduate from MU Moron University? Why doesn't she quit and leave journalism to the real reporters I'm sure there are positions available in the housekeeping department

"Who the hell wrote this shit? Kagura asked

"Look there's no name on it," Ayame pointed out

"It's probably some jealous bitches prank, they probably made this up on their computer figuring you'd call there and find out it is not one of their articles and make a fool out of yourself," Bankotsu said

"Yep and start a war," Sango added

"Yeah I'll just ignore it I was going to call there but why make a fool out of myself," Kagome stated

Tuesday Kagome's new article

The Tokyo Times

The Jade Dragon restaurant is a lovely cozy place with a warm pleasant homey feeling excellent staff top notch service and food so delicious you will think you've left earth and entered heaven. On warm days you can sit outside at one of the lovely tables in the beautiful garden they have in back of the building and enjoy your meal. This feudal era restaurant where the staff dresses in the traditional clothing of that time is a slice of heaven on earth you may not want to leave once you try it I didn't want to, it certainly deserves more than a five star rating

By Kagome Higurashi

"Wow killer review their business will go up through the roof," Kagura praised

"Honey that is a masterpiece makes me want to buy and open a restaurant so you can review me," Jakotsu praised

"Jak if you were straight I'd marry you," she teased

"Does that mean you love me?

"Let me in," Inuyasha said

"No way it's my seat," Kagome protested

"Have it your way," in a second Kagome was lifted out of her chair

"Hey, why you," Kagome protested "What the?" she started to say

"Ah can it," Inuyasha said while seating her on his lap sitting in front of her desk "Now let Yashy show ya a little secret," he reached around her his long arms stretched out hands on the computer keyboard he started typing away

"Hah? Kagome exclaimed

"I have got to see this," Ayame exclaimed

"Little brother is this a love in?" Sesshoumaru teased as he came in

"Go comb your fur I heard it has knots in it," Inuyasha shot back "I'm digging up important info my sweet wench wouldn't let me use her chair so now we're sharing,"

"I see Rover Taisho,"

"Shut it and come watch I know you will find this very interesting," Inuyasha said "Now watch," he typed in the screen names Oyki then Aryu

"So the two skanks names" what's the point? Indignant Kagome asked

"Well I looked over the chat room comments a few times and it bugged the hell out of me the attitude, type of insults and the way they were made seemed very familiar, then something hit me," Inuyasha answered

"What a meteor? Kouga wisecracked

"No ya worn out old wolf shower mat,"

"Enough dog versus wolf I want to see this great discovery of yours," Sesshoumaru said

"So as I was saying something hit me observe, Oyki, and Aryu flip them around like so then add the missing parts Oyki Kikyo, Aryu Yura and you have this" familiar? I know that brand of nastiness anywhere, Yura just switched hers around but Kikyo removed one letter,"

"Kikyo, and Yura Nagasaki," Sango growled

"Oh those two bitches aka the sledge hammer sisters," Bankotsu exclaimed

"Yeah because they're always pounding somebody one way or another," Jakotsu added

"Dance of blades kid's sushi in seconds," smirking Kagura teased

"Kagsy we should go to the chat room site" don't you think? Smiling deviously Sango said "My screen name is golden phoenix,"

"Okay done I have membership my screen name is dragon master," Kagome said just after becoming a member and smiled sadistically "I have an idea,"

"Uh oh," the others exclaimed

"Hehehe" Kagome responded she started typing

"Sessh can I hah, hah, hah pretty please with a T bone steak on top?" Inuyasha begged

"Yes fool," Sesshoumaru replied "And hurry I have no patience for waiting too long,"

"Yes dear,"

Kagome tried to type again Inuyasha grabbed her wrists and hit delete "Inuyasha I don't care if your dad owns the paper or not I'm gonna kill you," Kagome snapped she tried to go for the keyboard again

"Oh no you don't wench, Sango help me out just follow my lead," with his upper arms he pinned her arms against her and started typing like mad, knowing Inuyasha's devious mischievous playful nature she stopped trying "Good girl," when she did he released her arms

"Yes my dog prince,' Sango teased

Chat room site

Dragon Master

"Have you heard?

Golden Phoenix

"Heard what?

Dragon Master

"That reporter for The Tokyo Time's is dating the son of the owner sexy hot Sesshoumaru Taisho,"

Golden Phoenix

"OMG he is so gorgeous he almost needs a body guard to walk the streets,'

Dragon Master

"Hotness runs in their family,"

Golden Phoenix

"All I can say is that Kagome is one lucky girl,"

Dragon Master

"What I would give to run my fingers through those silver locks,"

Golden Phoenix

"And jump his bones repeatedly,"

Dragon Master

"Don't have any wet dreams"

Golden Phoenix

"Why not?

Dragon Master

"Because you'll have to change the sheets when you wake up,"

Golden Phoenix

"You need to scrub your dirty brain with bleach,"

"There that otta give those two sleaze hags something to talk about," Inuyasha gloated

"Little brother you are a vile creature I must confess I am a proud big brother," Sesshoumaru praised

"Aw thank you Sesshypoo," snap "Hey," he protested when Sesshoumaru's claw flicked one ear

"There was a fly on it,"

"Say that when you pull a foot out of your ass," Inuyasha bit

"No footing around,"

"Damn you're raunchy, Inuyasha that is a freaking masterpiece," proud Sango praised "I already know those two are going to have a bitch fest,"

"You made me do it," he teased

"Um Inuyasha not that I'm complaining or anything but you can let me up now," Kagome said

"Aw and just when I was enjoying my lap warmer. I'll let you up after my daily half hour nap,"

Seeing their position "Pup" Sugimi growled as he entered then caught himself "Does this mean you're getting married and that I am going to be a father in law?

An audible gulp came out of her then 'Marriage oh no is he trying to kill me?' panicking Kagome thought

'Father growled strange' Sesshoumaru thought 'And the miko is nervous this is fun'

"Why, you offering to pay for it? The smartass hanyou replied "I haven't even tested the equipment yet after I do I'll get back to you,"

"You must be licensed to do so," Sugimi answered

"Don't need one I am a dog,"

"Puppy" Sugimi needled

"Dog"

"Okay puppy dog," winning the match Sugimi replied smiling sadistically, Inuyasha growled and glared daggers

Next day

Chat room messages

Oyki

"Have you heard Kagome Higutrashi is dating Sesshoumaru Taisho,"

Aryu

"She must have drugged him,"

Oyki

"It ought to be illegal for morons to work in public communications,"

Aryu

"I know right? I need a fifth of vodka to kill the pain got to go I have to mourn the loss of a hot demon,"

"Hehehe, look at this kiddies," gloating Sango called to her friends as she looked at the computer screen

"Aw the flamers union is upset," Kagome said "I feel a tear coming,"

"I shall do my monks duty and pray for them," Miroku joked

"How sad I feel so bad for them not," Bankotsu added

"Yep they fell for it hook line and sinker," Inuyasha exclaimed

"How I love to watch low life bitches burn," Jaken said they looked at him in shock "What, we're quiet most of the time but Kappa's are smart asses to?" he smirked

The following week

It was shocking it was unexpected and it happened "Oh my god Kagome, Kagome oh my god you have got to see this," Ayame said as she ran into the office with something round in hand

"Uh oh," the rest of the staff exclaimed

"Hey wolfette slow down" what are your panties on fire? Inuyasha teased

"Shut it dog boy before I make orderves out of you," Ayame bit

"Oo I love it when you talk dirty," he really loved riling her so she'd do it

"Thanks Yame," Kagome said as she took the rolled up paper

"Page seven top of the page," everyone gathered around in back of Kagome to get a look. Gasps escaped their mouths when she opened it and began to reading it to the others

Miss Higurashi this is how a pro does it please take notes and learn

The Gossip Gourmet

The Jade Dragon's a lovely cozy place with a warm very homey feeling to visit awesome staff cool service and food so delicious you'll think you've croaked and gone to heaven. On warm days you can sit outside and eat at one of the lovely old timey tables in the sexy garden in back of the restaurant wink, wink and enjoy your meal. This feudal era restaurant is a blast from the past where the staff dresses up in traditional clothing of that time it's a piece of heaven on earth you'll never wanna leave I didn't. It sure as hell deserves more than a five star rating

See mizz Higurashi now isn't that much better?

By Kikyo Nagasaki

"Sexy garden? Kagura wisecracked "Never knew they were sexy,"

"It could be if you were boning someone in it," Inuyasha teased

'Cool place? What does she think she's reviewing a rock club? Sango said

"Croaked and gone to heaven," Miroku added "Unlike Kagome's article this has no class,"

"Well folks we've got the bitch now this is plagiarism," Jakotsu said after reading The Gossip Gourmet article

"And dummy put her name on it" can you say signed own death warrant and committed social as well professional suicide? Bankotsu added

"It worked, it worked I am a happy doggy now woo hoo," doing a happy dance Inuyasha exclaimed "I knew if I riled that witch enough she'd do something stupid. This surpasses all my hopes and dreams a colossal fuckup on her par. Oh Santa came early delivered the payload and I made the grand haul,"

"Little brother,"

"Yes Sesshy?

"Calm yourself," Sesshoumaru replied

"No way dude it's Christmas again woo hoo," the dancing hanyou continued "Oh Santa loves me and this is proof," he sang

"Miko may I? Sesshoumaru asked Kagome handed him the paper "Lovely," he smiled sadistically "Santa Claus came to town an extra day delivering gifts and love" what can I say? Things are going my way" he sang on the way back to his office

"What the hell? Miroku exclaimed

"Uh oh, boss man's up to something," Sango said

"Shhh wait," Inuyasha whispered "Dog ears are like electronic bugs they pick up everything," he smirked

Sesshoumaru's office

Ring "Hello?

"Naraku you've fared well I trust," Sesshoumnaru said

"Yes all eight legs are still attached and are working fine" how are you mister Taisho?

"Drop the mister Taisho we have known one another since I was a pup and you were barely hatched from your spider egg," Sesshoumaru teased

"And your point is? Naraku teasingly responded

"Spider,"

"Dog" the grinning spider replied "What can I do you for?. Sesshoumaru told Naraku "Whaaat? Hitting his sensitive ear Sesshoumaru cringed "Well we'll see about that,"

"You're interested I see?"

"Very" Naraku answered "I have an idea,"

"Do tell,"

"It will require the deranged mind and assistance of your twisted little brother," Naraku said

"This is right up his alley I think he'd murder me if I left him out of this,"

"Wonderful, here's the plan," Naraku went on to tell Sesshoumaru his idea the taiyoukai grinned

Back with Inuyasha and the others

"Inuyasha" Kagome said

"Haven't you heard?

"Heard what? They all asked in unison

"I thought you knew," Inuyasha replied

"Nope tell us," Miroku exclaimed

"A long time ago when we were in college there was a party after three bottles of demon sake stoned Sesshoumaru was in the back room sitting on the couch taking a nap in the dark room. Kikyho snuck in sat down next to him next thing he knewe he feels a hand going up his thigh quickly heading for his male pride. Long story short he grabbed her wrist goddamned near took it off with his acid while telling her he'd never lower himself to go with vermin like her,"

"Whoa three bottles of sake never knew Sessh could hit the bottle so hard," grinning Bankotsu said

"Next day it was spread all throughout the campus in the school newspaper that Sesshoumaru was gay at a party and caught in the back room making out with a guy and that is why he couldn't get it up for a woman," Inuyasha told them "And,"

"I've got it Yash, the little bitch said the guy was me. The two straightest guys on campus and she accuses us of that," Kouga said "I refused her to so she did that,"

"Yup and that's why she got kicked out of school. The dean told her using the school paper in such a disgusting way was not only slander and defamation of character it was also against school rules," Inuyasha added "Cause everybody knows Kouga has lain more pipe then a plumbing company,"

"Yep and we all know Sessh has harvested more flowers them a gardener," Miroku stated

"Sounds like she needs a beat down to me," Kagome commented

"Sessh has been waiting all these years for the perfect revenge opportunity to come along," Inuyasha said

"Little brother?" Sesshoumaru called from the doorway of his office

"Coming," Inuyasha answered got up and headed toward his brother "What does fluffy need? A flea bath? A horny girl dog? Or new spiked dog collar with a bell in the middle? He teased

"None of the above fool now get in here and let's talk,"

"Yes dad,"

"Juvenile fool," Sesshoumaru wisecracked

Following day

Public relations, spread the news, morning surprise, voodoo for two

"Sango I need your help, It's Dragon Master, and Golden Phoenix time again," Inuyasha said

"Now, during working hours, Inuyasha you've got to be the coolest boss in the world?"

"Aw, does this mean you wuv me?"

Chat room

Golden Phoenix

"Have you heard?

Dragom Master

No what,"

Golden Phoenix

"This chick Kikyo has the hot's for that foxy wind demoness,"

Dragon Master

"You mean Kagura? I never knew Kikyo was into girls,"

Golden Phoenix

"Oh yes big time she can't get off with a man,"

Dragon Master

"This is a big WTF moment for me,"

Golden Phoenix

"Yep rumor has it that she and her sister Yura indulge in each other on the side,"

Dragon Master

"Oh keeping it in the family, eew, my brain is damaged and bleeding from the mental image,"

"Inuyasha I have something for you it was just delivered," Saya the girl from the mail room with something in her hand called

"Okay thanks Saya," Inuyasha replied and took it from her "Hm what's this? He removed it from the large envelope it was in opened it and began reading

Gossip Gourmet

I would like to offer my sincerest apologies to everyone especially those who read a recently published article written by former Gossip Gourmet reporter Kikyo Nagasaki who without our permission or prior knowledge and without provocation blatantly and viciously attacked reporter for The Tokyo Times Kagome Higurashi with a plagiarized version of miss Higurashi's own article and review about The Jade Dragon restaurant. It has been brought to my attention that that Miss Nagasaki's attack was fueled by her romantic and sexual obsession with Miss Higurashi who has no interest in her

Furthermore let it be known that under the screen and user name Oyki Kikyo spelled backwards with the first letter removed on a chat room site Taka Chat has leveled false allegations of a sexual nature against Miss Higurashi saying that she slept her way to the top. Kikyo was aided in doing so by her sister Yura Nagasaki who uses the screen name Aryu on the same site. Miss Nagasaki will never work as a newspaper, television, radio or news program reporter or in public relations of any kind in this town, I have taken it upon myself to contact and warn other news and public relations organizations in the surrounding towns about her

By owner

Naraku Himura

"Freaking sweet," Inuyasha exclaimed

"What'd you get your dog pedigree certificate? Only took ya six hundred years," Kouga teased

"No Wally whiskers this newspaper article is pure gold come and get a look,"

"Yeah I'll happily read your obituary," Kouga wisecracked "Holy shit Naraku I love you man," he said after reading it then did a happy dance

"Um Kouga you're not switching teams are you? Because ladies man Naraku doesn't swing that way" Bankotsu needled

"Fuck you Bank, and not gay love moron love of this wonderful thing he published this is going to go down in history, so get you're lazy ass over here and read it," Kouga shot back. Bankotsu followed by the others walked over to where Inuyasha was and began reading it

"Shit I'm framing it and hanging it on my wall," Inuyasha said

"Whoa now everybody and I mean everybody knows," Miroku said

"Kids I think this calls for a celebration in honor of this epic event," Sugimi announced after reading it then called The Jade Dragon Restaurant and ordered food drinks and treats

The food arrived and everyone's mouth was watering, Sugimi had even ordered and sent food from the same restaurant to Naraku's office for him and his staff as a thank you. Inuyasha had an unbelievable devilish grin when asked why he said nothing. However though saying nothing Sugimi was very suspicious his bullshit detector was set on max. After the Jade Dragon delivery people were done Sugimi generously tipped them after thanking him they left, he watched as a bakery delivery guy arrived with a pretty blue square box, he asked for Inuyasha Inuyasha answered tipped the guy $20 he thanked Inuyasha and left

"Paws off this ain't for you," Inuyasha said smacking Miroku's hands away

"Touchy, touchy" what have you got in there your secret new shipment of porn tapes?

"No it is the box that is soon going to be holding your severed head, after that asking someone if they want some head will take on a whole meaning," Inuyasha replied

Miroku rubbed his neck "Gulp, ah okay,"

"Our weasel is up to no good," Sango said

"Did you ever know a time when he isn't? Kagura replied

"Hell I think he dreams up shit to do in his sleep," Kagome added

Inuyasha went to his brothers office put the box on the middle of the desk turned around and left shutting the door behind him. A short time later Sesshoumaru came back making a beeline to his office. Glances of suspicion passed between the other members of the group. All waited with bated breath to see what was going to happen next they did not have long to wait

"Get your ass in here now if I have to come in there you die," Sesshoumaru snapped

"What did your tail get caught in the pencil sharpener again?

"No but that tiny twig you call a penis is going to be shoved into it," Sesshoumaru answered "What is this atrocity?

"Well if you don't know I'm not going to tell you,"

"I will skin you alive this is the act of lowly rabid needs killing vermin,"

"What hotdog in a bun?" Inuyasha wisecracked

"Goes well with no dick hanyou on stick,"

"I need to know what is in that box I'll find a way ," Miroku said "And I am going to find out,"

Sesshoumaru came out "Come here little bro Sesshy only wants to have a word with you,"

"Do I look like I was just born? No way"

"No problem I can wait until you are ready," Sesshoumaru answered

"Sesshoumaru went into his office then came out with the pretty blue box "Oo can I see? Like an excited kid at Christmas Jakotsu asked

Sesshoumaru lifted the top up so they could see it there inside the box was a cake shaped like a woman's private parts with a penis sitting between the lips like a hotdog in a bun the frosting covering them was flesh tones making it look like real parts. Written on it was kiss me fool above a red heart, Seshoumaru sent murderous glares at his brother, Inuyasha shrieked when ice from a cold drink was poured down the front of his pants then cursed when the cake was smashed over his head blueberry filling falling on and tinting his nice light blue suit

"You epic asshole it was only a cake dick head at least I didn't fuck with your clothes," Inuyasha cursed

"Stop whining you simpering idiot after a hearty meal a sweet treat is a must and everyone knows how you love cake,"

"I'm going to cut off your joy stick and shove it so far down your throat you'll be sucking your food up with a gods damned straw," Inuyasha snapped

"You will be doing the same only the straw will be in your ass,"

"Eeew gross," the rest exclaimed

"Yep then when someone says you suck ass it'll be take on a whole new meaning," Kouga jabbed

The following day

"Mister Taisho? A delivery man called

"Yes I am Taisho," Inuyasha answered

"Sesshoumaru Taisho?

"His brother Inuyasha I can take that for you I'll sign for it,"

"Thank you,"

Inuyasha signed the paper and handed it back to the man then took the item "Thanks bro," Inuyasha said the man thanked him again and left

"What is that I wonder? Bankotsu asked

Inuyasha sniffed the box and grinned widely "Sessh you dirty dog' he thought before answering "Something really rotten,"

"Mind telling us?" Ayame said

Sesshoumaru's door opened "Ah I see my package has arrived,"

"Yes and you'll get it but only after you tell me what's in it," Inuyasha replied

"No first I will remove your hand at the wrist then I will have my package,"

"Ouch rough trade," the hanyou said and handed his brother the package, Sesshoumaru went back into his office closing the door behind him

"What do you suppose that was all about? Sango asked

"Don't know but one way or another I am going to find out even if I have to beat it out of him," Inuyasha exclaimed then made a beeline to his brother's office "Are you kidding me? Was heard

"No I am not, now keep it down," Sesshoumaru told him, tapping was heard and Inuyasha laughing

"Inuyasha came out a while later with a wooden box in his hot little hands "You're never going to believe this,"

"What? What? What? They all asked at the same time

Inuyasha opened the box "Voodoo dolls?" Jakotsu said

"Damn and they look exactly like them," Sango pointed out, each one lay in a small lidded coffin "And coffins to Sessh went all out,"

Looking down at the loaded with small nails driven into it all over them voodoo dolls "Aw how sweet Kikyo I mean Kikyho, and Yura voodoo dolls," Kagura added

"Best part of all is I get to deliver them," gloating Inuyasha said

Kouga sniffed "Hey why are they reeking of demon sake?

"Ssshykins wet the dolls with it the skank twins will be stoned without touching a drop of booze and do stupid shit," Inuyasha told them "He thought of everything drove the nails in to,"

"Now that's what I call getting nailed," Miroku said his perverted humor showing "Hey what's with the little red dots all over them?

"Oh they're suddenly going to develop a severe case of as I call it flaming acne because it's so red," Inuyasha told them "Now you know why Sessh is called the Taisho terror,"

"I thought with voodoo dolls you needed something personal from the victim piece of clothing hair nail clipping etc to make them work," Bankotsu stated

"Which is why I owe Hojo big time they think he's dreamy so they invited him to Kikyo's place so he went, drinks were served and Hojo slipped some of the sleeping powder Sessh gave him in their drinks, once they were knocked out he clipped a small lock of hair from each one and put it in the small envelopes with their names on them and brought them to Sessh,"

"That poor bastard hope he used skank repellent before going there," Kagura joked

"Yep Sessh told me the poor dude nearly scrubbed three layers of skin off after. See though the dolls are wood which would require you to nail the hair to it or carve a hole in it to put it in and seal it with wax clay or mud, but the way big bro did it he made a hole and put the hair in and using his powers made it close up sealing the hair inside so physically nothing is seen," Inuyasha explained

"That's our Sesshoumaru he goes all out," Sango said

"The sweet side benefit is that whatever they do to the dolls happens to them," Inuyasha added

"Oh my holy fucking gods that is perfection I swear to gods Sesshoumaru thinks so much like an in revenge mode woman it's scary," Kagome stated

"Well got to go make my delivery see you later," the happy hanyou said and left

On the six o clock news that night

This evenings as some are calling it comical event took place when former Gossip Gourmet reporter Kikyo Nagasaki, and sister Yura Nagasaki were as you can see here in the footage spotted walking down Takanawa street apparently drunk and stripping as they went. The two were stark naked by the time they reached Toyota center the heart of the business district

The sisters were holding hands strolling along as if nothing had happened and were merely taking a walk in the park. Another strange event was witnessed as out of nowhere a massive case of red acne appeared all over their bodies, well it seems to this reporter that not only do these sisters need Alcoholics Anonymous they could also use a good dermatologist my how the mighty have fallen, well that's our report for tonight this is Abi Wantanabe wishing you a goodnight

"Oh hot damn they're going to have to leave town," Jakotsu squealed

"Never mind town they will have to leave Japan and even them that might not be far enough away for them," laughing Kouga said

"Good thing I set my DVR to record the nightly news" who want's copies? Sango announced

"Me" the group replied

Ring, ring he answered the phone "Hello"

"Sessh you evil bastard have you seen it? Inuyasha asked

"Seen what you miscreant of madness?"

"The news report dude if you did you'd need a diaper because you would piss yourself laughing," Inuyasha told him

"Enlighten me," the still half asleep dog demon replied, Inuyasha told some but not the juicy parts after all the best parts should be a surprise "Damn it why does everything good happen during my nap time?

"Aw you nekos can't help you need lots of naps chasing, rats, mice, and birds all day tends to wear you out."

"Tell Sessh not to worry go to his computer and turn it on plug it into his fifty inch flats screen TV this should be seen on a big screen and that I'm sending it to him right now," Happy Sango told him

"Ya hear that fluffinator? The girls are looking out for you" Inuyasha teased

"Get your buns to the computer and watch," Jakotsu said

Inuyasha put his brother on speaker phone, Sesshoumaru quickly hooked everything up after Sango finished uploading it he watched it and howls of laughter came through the phone as mighty poised graceful always in control Sesshoumaru fell off the chair onto his ass on the floor. Hearing the thud as did the others Inuyasha knew what happened smirked and laughed

"Aw did big bro bruise his little tooshy when he fell down and went boom?

"T-to quote you little brother get ben-bent. I am going to die," the taiyoukai near breathless gasped "All of Japan will need therapy after being subjected to that horror," he continued laughing "Pant, pant do me a favor send it to Naraku he'll hemorrhage laughing when he sees this,"

"On it," Sango said and sent a copy to Naraku

Naraku called so Inuyasha used the three way calling and added him to the connection "Acne, streaking, drunk, sisters holding hands li-like lovers, the horror," the laughing spider gasped between laughs

"The poor spider does he need a belly rub?" Inuyasha could not resist teasing

"Sessh you used that voodoo spell didn't you? Naraku, and Inuyasha asked in unison

"Who, sweet innocent me, do you actually think that I Sesshoumaru would lower myself to do such a dastardly deed? Being the gentleman I am I never kiss and tell or curse and tell"

"Save it dog we all know you did it but we will never tell, the acne was a nice touch," Naraku said

"Not only that every time they speak ill of or try doing anything bad to others they'll get headaches, itch all over, and get rashes,"

"Sesshoumaru you're a sick man you know that,"

"I cannot help it during my puppyhood I was exposed to too many vile things my once innocent little brain was damaged forever,"

"Huh" Sugimi responded "You were born evil and conniving,"

"All evil I possess was inherited from you inupapa,"

"Sure blame the sire for ones twisted ways," Sugimi replied

In no time the footage was all over the inter net and broadcast around the world, it seems Inuyasha's group weren't the only ones wanting and gunning for revenge another of Kikyo's past victims uploaded it to the internet getting the ultimate revenge. The Nagasaki sisters would never live it down as long as they lived and were not seen after that it was as if they'd fallen off the map, every once in a while someone would spot what looked like one of them in disguise wearing a blond or other color wigs and clothes they'd ordinarily never wear

The celebration, don't make it rain, it's mine, the announcement

"Little brother give it back it's my stake," Sesshoumaru said warningly

"Geez Yash, during a party?" Miroku exclaimed

"Sure why not it is a party so I'm partying,"

"Correction dying," Sesshoumaru said "Now give it back before I end you,"

Inuyasha held the large three pound steak waving it tauntingly "Hah try and take it cream puff,"

Sesshoumaru smiled a thing he rarely did, moving so fast all that was seen was a streak passing by "Like this," he said after licking the steak

"You fucker I had it first it was mine,"

"Key word had," Sesshoumaru jabbed and in a flash the steak was gone eaten by the big inu "Ah good to the last drop," he added licking his lips "And to correct you liar I had it first before you stole it,"

"Hey where's Kagome she's usually sitting him?" Ayame asked

"Don't know think she went to the bathroom or something," Kagura answered

"She probably snuck off to have a drink so our hanyou wouldn't drive her crazy," Kagura joked

"I will pay you back for this wait and see better have eyes in the back of your head," Inuyasha said

"I tremble with fear," triumphantly smirking Sesshoumaru replied

Lemon starts

Sugimi pounded into Kagome as she lay on the boardroom table with her legs wrapped around his waist sweat beading on his brow from the intense activity, his eyes reddened and his cheek stripes became more jagged then they already were. Deep in the throes of ecstasy she repeatedly called out his name the tension building like an over wound spring ready to snap, their powers swirled around them coiling around one another like snakes dancing before merging as one. The lowly lit room glowed like a thousand fire flies lighting the night the time was drawing closer by the second both felt it coming

"Sugimi,"

"This is beyond my expectations and better than my imagining,"

"Yeeees," both called out as the time of their shared releases drew near it was only a second away and his elongated fangs were set to pierce her neck with his mate mark. Just when their climaxes were about to start the water sprinklers on the ceiling went off drenching them with freezing cold water

Lemon ends

All fell silent when a deafening enraged growl tore through the building all the partiers stilled freezing in the spots they were in. Among the group knowing looks were exchanged it was a huge WTF moment for everyone there a foreboding feeling crept through them. A door swung open startling everyone there all eyes turned in that direction

"Little brother," Sesshoumaru said as he appeared behind his brother the startled hanyou flinched

"Shit" with eyes as wide as saucers Inuyasha exclaimed

"Yes"

"What the hell are you doing here? It-it was supposed to be you," Inuyasha stammered

"Do tell?" he smirked evilly

"Oh you mean" please tell me it was not him? Inuyasha exclaimed "Who?

"You know very well who," Sesshoumaru responded

"Growl" all there heard it

Then a door swung open slamming against the wall next all that was seen was a streak bare chested wearing nothing but his pants leaping over the desks Sugimi as he went straight for Inuyasha's throat at the same time releasing another deadly growl. There stood enraged Sugimi one hand wrapped around his pups neck holding him up three feet above the floor glaring murderously in all his long life Inuyasha had never saw his father in such a rage. He shivered in his sire's deadly grip as his father bored holes into his head with his eyes all shared one thought Inuyasha

"Cough it, it was supposed to be Sesshoumaru," Inuyasha said while gasping for air

"Do I look as if I care? Of all the times to set a booby trap for your brother you pick such a crucial time to do it"

"Po-pop I-I'm sorry cough Sessh was supposed to be in there. Cough it's fluffys fault if he had of been in there like he was supposed to this gasp would never have happened" Inuyasha managed to get out

"Your reasoning is to lay it on your brother coward," Sugimi sneered

"I'm sorry cough dad," Inuyasha tried using puppy dog eyes

"You are very murderable pup in this situation puppy dog eyes will not work,"

"Sugimi sama," a sexy toned female voice called his grip on Inuyasha loosened

"I will kill you later," he said after dropping Inuyasha on his butt he took off to go finish what he and Kagome had started

"Oh man I better leave town," Inuyasha exclaimed

"Don't even think about it," his father's voice yelled back a door closed and all went quiet

"As if that would benefit you, you know full well that the longer father had to search for you the worse and more deadly his wrath would be once he found you," Sesshoumaru reminded

"Looks like somebody's getting a new mommy," Jakotsu needled

"Shut it Pandora," Inuyasha snapped

A week later

Inuyasha woke up feeling strange he tried moving his limbs but found himself constricted he tried wiggling his toes but still no go, his ayes still hazed over with sleep weren't fully seeing right. He rubbed his eyes then looked around at himself he gasped in shock and wanted to scream because of the horror he was looking at. He was encased in a huge body length fluorescent pink condom from his feet up to his neck that was tied shut around his neck with a shiny red bow and was floating in the filled with ice cold water pool he shrieked when his body finally registered the cold. But that was not all he was also surrounded by friends relatives and neighbors and some were filming it

"Spec-fucking-tacular the prick had to make a public show out of it," Inuyasha griped

"Lesson learned son don't make it rain especially indoors," gloating Sugimi said

"No glove no love dog breath," Kouga razzed

"Yash body sized" don't you think that is going a bit overboard? Miroku jabbed his floating friend

"Sweet a rain coat and nooky glove all in one," Bankotso added

"Damn that is the weirdest floatation device I have ever seen," Kagome teased "Aw my sweet little puppy loves to play and always in such inventive ways,"

"Son when doing it you need not wear a body sized condom standard size will do," Sugimi teased

"Too bad the night you were conceived grandpa was not wearing one," Inuyasha shot back

"But if they had them back then and he did you would not be here now nor would you have a wonderful caring loving father such as myself,"

"I hope you remembered to apply lubricant to your pelt before slipping into it they do tend to dry skin out and if Yash junior gets to dried out he will fall off," Sango razzed

"Yashy I never knew it all of these years you've been a closet freak," Ayame added

"Yes all fine and well but did you have to go public with it some things just weren't meant to be known?" Miroku taunted

"Master Inuyasha, have you no shame? Jaken added

Six months later

Inuyasha almost chewed his claws off when he got the news it hit him like a brick house Kagome was carrying not one but three pups "Oh gods one's bad enough but he had to go and make a litter,"

"Oh stop whining and be a man two are female one is male,"Sesshoumaru scolded

"Yeah so?"

"So one is male" do you not realize that one male plus us makes three males we will outnumber the females three to two,"

"It'd be better if two were male and just one female then we'd outnumber them four to two better odds dumb ass. Now we're going to have two mini wenches and one mini devil inupapa to torment us for life," the hanyou complained

"Maybe our dear miko will show you mercy and kindness by fixing it so the two mini mikos can sit you as well,"

"Nooooooo" Inuyasha shrieked quickly clamping a hand over his brothers mouth "Now listen fluffy keep that to yourself we do not need to give our favorite wench ideas" did you stop to think that she might put one of these frigging necklaces on you and fix it so our sisters can sit you to? And being inus and miko they will be way meaner so think before you speak"

"Your such a child do not be so juvenile besides that'd never happen I am her favorite son,"

"Say that when their sitting you," Inuyasha replied

Two months later

"Ow shit it hurts the pups are coming," Kagome wailed "Sugimi"

"Oh crap run for your lives,' Inuyasha exclaimed and ran like the devil was hot on his tail

After he was gone "Sucker" Kagome said, everyone burst out laughing

"Mate you are so evil," Sugimi told her

"Well females only carry inu pups for three months then give birth and I am only two months along, he must be rattled to forget that,"

"I th-think mutt is going to go in hiding," Kouga choked out between laughs,

Inuyasha did not return until after a month had passed just as the third pup made its arrival into the world "Oh no," he whined he heard his sisters first cry

Sesshoumaru came out holding one of his sisters in his arms Inuyasha made a move toward them "Don't even think about it go get your own, this one is mine," he kept the little female in a possessive hold

"Cheap ass creep," Inuyasha replied then bolted to Sugimi, and Kagome's room, the sight he saw melted his heart the girls were carbon copies of their mother with gold eyes and white hair, the boy was Sugimi's twin "Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie," he said reaching for his sister

"Look at this he's not even back for a half hour and already he's pup napping his sister," Kagome teased

"Yeah okay fine whatever now gimmie, gimmie,"

"Here big baby," Kagome said handing the hanyou his sister

"Mine, all mine no sharing especially with Sesshoumaru he's already got one and wouldn't share. I'm going to teach you what dicks big brothers are yes I am," she grabbed a clawed finger with one hand and a fist full of hair with the other

"Growl" she tightened her grip

"Hey" Inuyasha whined when her little fangs bit his finger

"Aw she is marking her territory," Kagome teased

"Nah she knows what a dingus he is and is warning him to shape up or ship out," Kouga teased

"What are their names? The hanyou asked

"Sakura, Shibari, and Mattaki," Sugimi answered

"Sweet,"

"Can I? Kouga asked Sugimi handed the wolf his son

"Hey put him back," Inuyasha demanded

"Shut it mutt this one is mine," Kouga shot back holding the pup to his chest possessively "Don't worry little dude uncle Kouga has you now he won't let the big mean mutt bug you," he headed to the living room with Inuyasha not far behind

"Aw he's gorgeous," the women squealed about Mattaki

"Two beautiful girls," the males said in unison

"Well it looks like we'll have to make appointments to visit our pups," Kagome said smiling brightly

"Yes but we will have a never ending supply of babysitters," grinning Sugimi replied

"Oh Gimi I feel another one coming," Kagome cried out "Oh I thought it was over,"

"Let it be a boy, let it be a boy," Inuyasha chanted like a mantra

"Mate" Sugimi exclaimed

"Make it a boy," Inuyasha said

"Hey do I ow look like an ice cream machine?" Kagome shot back

"Baby brother,"

"Inuyasha"

"Yes my favorite mommy wench?"

"Gotcha sucker," then she and Sugimi burst out laughing

"Damn you Kagome,"

"Clueless fool," Sesshoumaru jabbed