AN: This is it. The end. Done. Finished. No more. Dunzo.
Until the sequel. Which still needs a title and a banner, so the first chapter might be up by the end of this week. The Attraction Equation will be posting daily, so hop on over there while you wait.
Finally the most important part...thank you so much for reading this story! You are all wonderful! See you soon!
Chapter 101 Epilogue
Journal of E. M. Cullen
Ruler of Cullenopeia, Tamer of Dragons and Captain of Forks High Baseball Team
(True Love of Maiden Isabella Marie of the Swan Kingdom)
I've been meaning to write every single day about the epic journey to get to the towered brick kingdom of Yale, but Isabella is a distracting traveling companion. Here we are so very close to our destination, but she needed to make a pit stop to see beluga whales. We'll be in this state for four or more years, but she had to come now.
However, it's raining. Tomorrow it should be a fair day to take in the sights of aquatic life, so here I sit writing in our motel next to McDonald's and the exit to 95.
Isabella is passed out on the bed after eating massive quantities of cheeseburgers, French fries and nuggets. They were all in Happy Meals, so she could get the creepy little Barbies. They shall be used in Isabella's quest to rid herself of her future roommate. We haven't even got to campus yet and Isabella is already scheming. I love that woman.
I shall give a few highlights of our trip in this tome, saving the rest for my kingly memoirs.
We headed out on the open road and hit all the major tourist spots. A giant ball of twine. A statue of the Jolly Green Giant. Lucy the Giant Elephant in New Jersey.
There were so very many that I lost count. Isabella had a plan she followed for each one. Take a picture of me in front of the monument, statue or random mime doing performance art. Glower when I would make a fellow traveler take a picture of us together. Buy a postcard for Chief Swan. Take me savagely behind a giant foot, shrubbery or in the backseat of the car.
Who knew that tourist attractions made Isabella amorous? Not me, but it is a wonderful turn of events.
As I feared Annie Oakley is not the best traveling companion. We were almost arrested in Texas when she told an officer to, I quote, "Fuck, fuck, fuck off!"
Isabella couldn't stop snorting. I think the man thought she was calling him a pig, but I knew better. It was her hysterical laugh.
We would still be in lock up if it wasn't for Chief Swan. That man had friends in every police department in the United States. It was amazing.
We were almost mugged outside of mini mart in Ohio. Isabella broke the man's nose. Annie's squawking alerted another police officer. I hid behind the car and was saved by my girl and her parrot. Not my most gallant moment.
Not everything has been negative, the opposite actually. This has been the most amazing trip of my life. I have seen incredible sunsets with Isabella held tightly in my arms. We've sat on the hood of my car and looked up into the stars in the middle of the corn field.
Of course, that did end up being frightening. Isabella kept looking around and saying, "Do you see the children with the scythes? They're coming to get us."
Have I mentioned I hate Children of the Corn, It and The Shining? Stephen King is evil.
Isabella couldn't help snorting. Thank god, I love her. I was tempted to leave her with the corn.
No matter what, this trip has made us stronger as a couple. If I have my way, we'll be sharing a little apartment next to campus by Winter Break. My girl has her plans and I have mine. Mine will be victorious.
It seems my lady is stirring. I shall...no, she just burped in her sleep.
All those fries.
I shall take my chances anyway and cuddle close to her. Annie Oakley is reminding her of our lovemaking in very crude language. Maybe Isabella will take the hint. That bird has to be good for something.
Fare thee well until New Haven!