AN: It's been a really long day.
"Miss Swan, I'm certain you don't want to pursue a career in trash collection."
Mr. Malloy had a huge bald spot and whenever his head moved the fluorescent lights hit it. It was mesmerizing.
He was also a horrible guidance counselor.
"It's honorable career. Would you like trash all over your yard? You sir, are bigoted towards sanitation engineering."
This was too much fun.
Mr. Malloy buried his head in his hands. I was frustrating on the best of days. Today I was incorrigible.
"I tease, Mr. Malloy. Would you like to hear my other plan?"
He looked up in relief. "Yes, Miss Swan!"
"What?" He exclaimed in shock.
"Don't get your tighty whiteys in a bunch, Mr. Malloy. I can't dance and I have an aversion to tight clothing with sparkles." I added with a smirk. "I want to be a bouncer."
His fingers tapped on his desk in irritation. I looked at all the self help and inspiration mumbo jumbo posters on his wall. There were a lot of kittens hanging in there and staying positive. Runners were going for the gold. Also, Garfield the curmudgeon, comic cat was placed by the file cabinets. That was something I could look up too. Of course, he was saying no to drugs. That made no sense. Unless Jon was slipping his kitty some Prozac so he wouldn't murder Odie with his tongue.
Random thoughts when suffering in the Guidance Counselor's office.
"Miss Swan, have you even thought about college?" He asked and he started chugging lukewarm coffee. He had to have spiked that stuff.
I decided to show him an ounce of kindness. "Perhaps."
"Applications had to be..."
"I've been accepted."
"Where?" Mr. Malloy looked surprised. "Are you staying in the area? Being shipped overseas in the armed forces? You can't imagine the way discipline can..."
He must be delusional. Actually, being in the same room all day with the poster of puppies in a basket would make someone criminally insane.
That's why he wouldn't ever find out where I was going. "It's a surprise."
"Everybody. Except me. I'm good at keeping secrets. Shh."
I would share when I was on the plane to the East Coast. Baseball Boy would want to follow me and probably lose some scholarships for ball hitting. It was better this way to keep him in the dark. It kept life exciting.
"Listen, I need to go nap...I mean head to gym." I stood up and gave him a thumbs up. "Admirable job guiding me. Bravo and keep up the good work."
"Why do I think you mean that sarcastically?" He sighed.
I shrugged. "Probably because I mean everything sarcastically."
I opened the door and my kid tumbled in the door. He looked up at me from the floor. "Hi!"
"How did the fact finding mission go, super spy?" I asked, pulling him up.
He pouted with his cute lips. "You didn't say anything!"
"Of course, I didn't." I rolled my eyes. "You should know better than to think I would willing share things."
"I will find out where you're going to college!" Baseball Boy stated. He was adorable when he was trying to be tough. "You'll tell me!"
"Sure I will. In that first phone call, when I tell you about the nice brothers of Delta Theta Jackass inviting me to my first kegger." I patted his face. He seemed to like it. "It will be fine. We aren't breaking up, just exploring two separate places. I'll let you visit me and cuddle in my uncomfortable tiny bed. My roommate will be a slutty and snore. Wanna bet?"
"Bella," he whined. "We're going to go to the same school."
"Come on, you poor baby. I'll make out with you in the library. That should distract you." I took his hand and he smiled. It was like taking candy from a baby.
"Miss Swan and Mr. Cullen, get to class!" Mr. Malloy demanded.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever.