Author's Note: I typed up the first chapter in a day and a half, chapter two takes about three weeks .. yepp, that's how I work :D
Disclaimer: As much as it saddens me to say it, Pokémon isn't mine.
Special Mention: To the horse in the Grand National who lost it's rider but came second. I was cheering for you!
Personally, Gary had always thought that girls tended to overreact when discussing romance. Honestly, was a simple break up really so depressing it was practically required to cry into their pillows all night and bust the top button on their favourites jeans by over indulging on the highest calorie ice cream they could find? Not to mention they became hysterical over the fact that the guy they claimed to be in love with must have dumped them because they put on weight.
Common sense apparently never reached girls whilst lost in their break up induced depression. Though it was best never to tell them this, lest you were willing to be the target of their hormonally enhanced wrath.
And yes, Gary still thought all this, only now he was wondering if such emotions could be genuinely agonising. In about ten minutes, it would be exactly twenty four hours since his break-up-of-sorts with Ash. With no other fitting term for the end of their so called 'arrangement', calling it a break was just easier.
Twenty four hours. An entire day and night cycle since he'd last laid eyes upon the raven haired boy, who had left his sight with tears in his eyes. Tears that fell because of Gary, the one who just two days ago had sworn never to be the one to hurt him.
As that thought returned to taunt him once more, Gary didn't bother restraining the urge to punch the wall. Hard. A chunk of paint chipped off, fluttering to the ground in a large flake. But the damage hadn't been limited to the wall. The impact had caused the skin on Gary's knuckles to break, thick red liquid gathering in smalls beads from the tiny wounds. Pain throbbed up his hand and extended down his arm, but Gary barely felt it. His mind was too crammed full of thoughts for him to care.
Why? Why the hell did this have to happen? He aimed another punch at the wall, harder than the last, blood beginning to trail down the back of his hand, while another flake of paint joined the first on the ground by Gary's feet.
Everything just had to get so messed up, and yet again, Gary was the bad guy in all this. Just like always.
He was cruel to admit it, but he couldn't find the will to lie, not even to himself. He didn't deserve the comfort of false belief. He didn't want it.
Ash was the victim in all this, identical to every other time he and Gary had clashed over something, no matter how trivial. But Gary didn't want it that way. He wanted Ash to be the one to blame. He wanted some reason, any reason to hate Ash even a little. Was that too much to ask?
His fist reconnected with the wall, the green wallpaper smeared with red.
Of course it was. Ash had done nothing wrong, so he didn't deserve it. And Gary hated him just for that. Everything stemmed back to the younger, but Gary was the one to mess things up. Ash was getting ready to travel to Unova for Arceus' knows how long, and had neglected to inform Gary of this decision. That on it's own was bad, but as always, Gary overshadowed this.
Confict raged within him, one side denying Gary was at fault, while the other side made it obvious that he had been too quick to jump to conclusions. And to Gary himself, both sides made an equal ammount of sense. No matter which way he went about it, he couldn't find a reason to say Ash was entirely justified in his decision. If he didn't want certain people to know about his plans, then that was fine, but if Daisy had already known - a fact Gary had learnt from overhearing a conversation between her and Delia - then didn't Gary have some right to know, however small that right may be?
But in the end, he always came to the same conclusion: he should have simply asked Ash about it. Maybe things wouldn't have turned out well, but at least Gary had given him the opportunity to speak up. Perhaps if things had ended badly, then Gary would have his reason to be mad at Ash.
Yes, he was selfish. Nothing new there. But when the whole world already knew that, then what was the point in trying to deny it?
With an exaggerated sigh, Gary allowed himself to fall forward slightly, his forehead resting against the ruined patch of wallpaper. "Life's a bitch," he grumbled, his emerald eyes falling shut.
"Not quite," came a voice from behind him, causing his recently closed eyes to snap open. He turned around sharply, meeting an emerald gaze identical to his own, and a frown worthy of making a Tyranitar cower in shame. "Karma tends to target those who deserve it, but life itself isn't the bitch." The room seemed to drop several degrees in temperature. "It the people in it who tend to be."
There were two ways this conversation could go, and neither ended well for Gary. He'd wanted to avoid such a confrontation, but having thought it were possible was foolish of him.
"Have you come to yell at me, Daisy?" He asked, wasting no time in getting straight to the point. "Because if so, then please get it over with. I have better things to do."
Her sharp, emerald eyes narrowing, Daisy's stare alone was enough to freeze Gary where he stood. "No, I haven't," she said, an undertone in her voice assuring Gary that she was being truthful. "But I have come with something to say."
Gary would have rolled his eyes, had Daisy's mood not been visibly sour. He was angry at himself, but not enough to wish death upon his soul. Especially at the hands of his older sister. "Then go ahead," he invited, his tone not one of friendliness.
Shockingly enough, instead of her anger increasing, Daisy's entire stance softened. Gary even felt the tension being released from his entire body, but he wasn't fool enough to assume she was done, thus he kept his guard up.
"Gary," she sighed, tugging a strand of auburn hair behind her ear, looking rather weary, "what on earth are you playing at?"
At the question, Gary quirked an eyebrow, feeling a little like he was a five year old being scolded for not eating his vegetables. "What do you mean?" He asked, honestly unsure of her point, though it was apparently the wrong thing to say, as the other pair of emerald eyes hardened.
"Don't play the innocent, Gary," she warned, her arms folded across her chest. "You know perfectly well what I'm referring to. Or should I say who?"
As though he'd stuck his head in the oven, Gary felt his entire face heat up. Anyone else would have smirked in triumph at making Gary uneasy, but despite zero tolerence and merciless punishment for disobedience, Daisy was neither a sadist, nor had a flare for watching people squirm. He was thankful for it.
He sighed once more, deciding to drop the pretence. "What did he say this time?" He asked, knowing he could bluff all he wanted, but Daisy would always be able to see right through him. It was rather infuriating.
"Nothing. He hasn't said a word to anyone," she said, a flicker of sadness passing through her eyes. "But he doesn't need to." As quickly as it had come, her grief vanished, only to be replaced by unmissable anger. "I'm going to ask you this once, Gary," she warned, "what did you do to him?"
Maybe it was the frustration at being talked down at, like he was some immature kid, or perhaps it was the accusation over an event he wanted to forget. But either way, at his sister's words, Gary gained confidence from somewhere. "If you're so sure something's up, then why are you asking me?" He almost spat. Screw the consequences. "Or haven't you gotten it all figured out, yet? That's a change, being so behind. I'll bet you burst a blood vessel once you found out your little brother is gay, got distracted."
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Gary regretted saying anything. He subconsciously braced himself for what was to follow, but shockingly enough, nothing happened. It was a full minute before he was able to force himself to look back at Daisy.
Despite the verbal insult, Daisy didn't look angry, or even urked. All in all, she looked sad, a glimmer of pity in her emerald eyes. It didn't take long for Gary to decide that he felt worse that being shouted at.
"He loves you," her voice was quiet, non judgemental, but Gary still felt his heart clench.
With hesitence, he studied his sister's eyes, searching for something. But what, he didn't know. Disappointment, maybe? Misunderstanding? Yet anything he did find wasn't what he wanted. "How?" Was his one word response, requesting answers for a million different things he could not summon the will to ask.
Daisy seemed to understand. "Do you really think I didn't notice, Gary?" She asked, her tone unchanging. "Neither you, nor Ash had to say anything. I saw the way he looked at you, the way you looked at him .. he loves you, Gary." Her eyes met his. "And you love him."
As Gary opened his mouth to protest, she lifted a hand to silence him. "Please, Gary, don't deny it. Stop lying to yourself. You know it's the truth, you're just too scared to admit it."
If there was one thing Gary hated, it was being called a liar, in any shape or form. More than once in his life, Daisy had done just that, and history was being repeated. Yet as he was about to yell at her and deny everything, a sudden voice caught his attention.
Two heads turned at the sound of the new arrival in time to see Umbreon slink into the room from behind Daisy. Ignoring the somewhat surprised looks she was recieving, the moonlight pokémon walked straight up to her master, pausing only when she was sitting in front of him, her ruby eyes fixed upon his own, her expression calculating.
"You okay, Umbreon?" Gary inquired, noticing that his pokémon seemed unlikely to make the first move.
Though Umbreon did not verbally reply, after a moment's hesitation, she gave a slight nod, so subtle Gary very nearly missed it.
"Do you care about him?" Daisy's voice caught Gary's attention, though Umbreon remained staring. At the questioning look she recieved, she elaborated, "Does Ash mean anything to you?"
Gary sighed quietly, closing his eyes. He didn't want to see any of the reactions he was going to recieve. "He's my best friend. Of course I care."
Only silence followed, almost to the point that Gary regretted answering. He could feel both Daisy and Umbreon's stares, but he couldn't bring himself to face up to them.
Eventually, after several minutes had passed by his guessed, Gary was just beginning to suspect that both girls had left, when he felt something warm and soft touch his injured hand. Opening his eyes and looking down at the development, he saw Umbreon, having finally moved, nuzzling her head against his hand, occasionally licking at the cuts to help heal the small wounds.
There was a small part of him that wanted to push her away, to leave his intentionally self inflicted pain to cause him distress, but the pure tenderness of the moonlight pokémon's actions melted away the annoyance budding in his chest. Sometimes he wondered how she could put up with him. He cared for her a lot, and she did too, that much was obvious, but there were still moments when he wondered how their relationship, which had initially begun as pokémon and trainer, could have possibly evolved to the point that she was able to become an Umbreon.
Befriending pokémon; at first it had seemed an impossible task, pointless, even. At least for him. He'd always cared for Umbreon, and all his pokémon, but at the time he'd never have thought that he'd be where he was now with her.
Ash, on the other hand, seemed more focused on his pokémon friends than his ultimate goal of becoming a Master. He'd even once berated Gary for not bothering to do the same. How different they'd once been. And still were.
Lifting his hand away from Umbreon's care, he instead smoothed down her inky fur, absent mindedly scratching behind her ears, just like she'd always enjoyed. She seemed content with this, purring slightly in gratitude.
"I was happy, at first," Daisy's softly spoken words gently broke the silence, reminding Gary she was still there. As he looked up at her, he saw she was gazing down at the interaction between pokémon and trainer, her emerald eyes glazed over. "You and Ash .. there's always been something between the two of you, I just don't think you've ever stopped and allowed yourself to notice it."
For a few moments, she looked uneasy, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, chewing her bottom lip as she did so. "And when you two got together a few weeks back, I was so sure things would finally be the way they should between you," she admitted, her eyes meeting her brother's. "But then I notice something; the way you looked at Ash, it was clear as day that you loved him more than anything, but still, if you saw him looking back at you, then you changed."
Her demenor shifted to one of complete seriousness, her emerald eyes burning into his with intensity. "Maybe you can admit it to yourself, but you're scared of letting him know. You afraid of Ash knowing that you're in love with him."
For the effect that her words had on him, Daisy may as well have simply slapped Gary across the face; his head jerked up suddenly, his body tensing. His entire outlook screamed defiance, but Daisy could see through any emotional mask he put on. She was spot on in her theory, and they both knew it.
"Yeah, well, it doesn't matter," Gary replied before he could stop himself. "Ash is leaving, I'm leaving, so what's the point? Long distance relationships tend not to work out."
Once again, Daisy frowned. "I know what you're going, Gary. You're just picking at any excuse you can get, all because you're afraid."
"I'm not afraid," Gary retorted, though he knew it was pointless. He just didn't want her to get the last word.
But she sighed, as though she was instead speaking to a five year old who kept asking why the sky was blue. "Don't do this, Gary. Not to him, and not to yourself. What good can come out of it?" She took a step forward, placing her hand on his arm. "You already lost him once because of idiocy, don't let it happen again. Especially not for the same reason."
Gary stared at her, feeling the sincerity of her tone. Beside him, Umbreon nuzzled her head against his leg, giving a "Brey" of encouragement. He felt like his heart was becoming heavier and heavier, until eventually it sank, down from it's place in his chest and into his stomach, which churned uncomfortably.
He hated this. He hated the whole idea of pep talks, intermissions, doubt. There was at least some right in what he had chosen, wasn't there? Why should either he or Ash continue to drag everything out to the point that they both got hurt? Things were bad now, but in the end, it was the best decision.
Having tuned out, Gary released a heavy sigh, allowing his eyes to fall shut as he brushed Daisy's hand away from his arm.
"Maybe," he admitted, feeling the tension in the room rise at the one word, "but I can't help you there."
"Gary - " Daisy tried, but was swiftly cut off.
"I'm done, okay? I don't know what Ash has told you, or if he told you anything, but it's over. I don't want anything else to do with it."
Silence passed, and Gary was beginning to wonder if Daisy had left the room, but just as he was about to open his eyes and check, he heard her speak;
"Perhaps you truly believe that, Gary." Her voice was thick, laced with sadness and .. disappointment. "But one day, you'll come to see why this will be the biggest regret of your life."
Like most people would assume in his position, Gary had thought that his sister was being mela dramatic. Sure, he could see Ash being sad, maybe he cried once or twice, but the way Daisy made it out to be, he would have thought that the trainer was dead on his feet.
Gary had seen him several times over the next few days, once, sometimes, twice a day at most. Ash seemed to be avoiding the lab, but a few times Gary had seen him outside with his pokémon, and had even gone round to the Ketchum house, mostly because he was running errands for Delia. Each of those times, he certainly didn't look very animated, but he was hardly close to jumping out a window or cutting his wrists in the bath tub.
Okay, so there were dark circles under his eyes, and it didn't seem like smiling was worth the effort for him, anymore. He wasn't exactly sparking with life and overflowing with energy like usual, but nor was he the semi comatose wreck Daisy had painted him out to be.
At least, not until the day before Ash was scheduled to leave. Gary caught a glimpse of him once, during the trainer visit to say his goodbyes to his pokémon, bar Pikachu, and needless to say, Ash looked awful.
Gary's mind seemed to screencap the brief apparation presented before him, burning the image of Ash's haggard face into the back of his eyelids. The trainer's once fiery sienna eyes were now a dull, lifeless muddy brown, underlined in dark circles and heavy bags, like he hadn't slept since Gary had ended things between them. And as Gary's stomach twisted into a knot at the thought, he couldn't find a plausible reason to doubt that was the case.
Ash's skin seemed paler, and cheekbones were more prominent, but not in a flattering way, resembling a starved prisoner than a healthy weight loss. All in all, he seemed thinner, but as his choice of wardrobe permenantly seemed to consist of jeans and long sleeved jackets, it was hard to tell for sure.
Gary's heart clenched painfully, and it suddenly seemed harder to breathe, each breath a struggle to obtain, as though a Scizor were clamping it's pinsors down on his lungs. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Ash wasn't supposed to be suffering, he was meant to be .. well, Gary didn't know. But it wasn't this!
An hour had passed since Ash had left, sharing a brief goodbye with Professor Oak and Tracey before wandering out the front door. Gary had kept his distance, staying inside his grandfather's study during the trainer's visit, and only now did he emerge, a heavy sensation of guilt squirming around in his stomach like an Ekans. It hurt.
In approximately eighteen hours, a plane would leave for Unova, taking Ash with it.
Gary had never been so sure of anything else in his life. He needed to see Ash. Now.
It shouldn't have been this way. Even though Gary hadn't put much thought into how things would be after ending things with Ash, he knew he hadn't once assumed that any kind of relationship between them would have ended along with it. He'd anticipated that things would be boardering on awkward in the following few days, weeks even, yet just one look at Ash was all it took to confirm that any chance of restoring their former friendship was non existent.
Gary was, without a doubt, at a low point in his life. He needed Ash. He was tired, lonely, and his entire chest ached as his heart yearned for the raven haired boy. It didn't have to be like this. They could at least part as friends, which by far better than this, which was nothing.
It wasn't right. Throughout their whole lives, even during their petty childhood rivalry, they'd never been nothing to one another. Even if he hadn't been able to admit it, Gary had still cared for Ash more than he would have liked, and he knew the trainer never felt hate towards him. There may not have been a solid friendship, but there was still something, there always had been.
But now, it was gone.
Ash had always been focused on his journey, his dream to become a pokémon master, and Gary respected that. He encouraged it. He always had; there was even a rather prominent part on his side of the rivalry that was dedicated to spurring Ash on. If it meant teasing and belittling him to achieve that, then so be it. Sure, it wasn't the best method, but it worked, hadn't it?
It had at first, back when Ash had a one track mind, and subconsciously, knowing that it was working added fuel to the fire. But now, even their rivalry wasn't something that could be reignited between them. Gary could go back to teasing Ash, just like he used to, but it would only create despair, not motivation. The last thing Gary wanted was to further damage his already fragile bond with Ash.
Gary missed him. He knew that now. He knew how much he cared for Ash, and only after he'd broken the younger's heart.
Without even realising he had made the decision to go, Gary found himself standing outside the Ketchum house. The sky was dark, but not late enough in the evening to go to sleep. Around an hour before they would usually meet up. He was near the base of a climbing tree that grew to the side of the house, one that he and Ash would spend the summer days playing around, and the very one that Ash would climb down to sneak out of the house to meet Gary, or for Gary to climb up and enter Ash's bedroom.
Those days were far behind them, and the tree had remained more or less untouched for quite a few years. Yet it stood tall and sturdy, it's thickest branch reaching out to Ash's bedroom window, past which Gary could see a soft glow, indicating that a lamp was on in the bedroom. Meaning Ash had not yet gone to sleep. If he could, that was, Gary recalled with no small ammount of guilt.
Forcing himself to gather courage from somewhere, Gary reached up to grab hold of one of the branches. As predicted, it was still strong and sturdy, and would easily be able to hold his weight. Being considerably taller than his seven year old self, climbing the tree was both significantly easier, yet harder at the same time. While the branches were more within his reach and the distance between the tree and the window meant he wouldn't have to get Ash to open it from the inside, his younger, and smaller self had a much simpler task in weaving himself through the gaps between branches, meaning Gary's current predicament was a tricky one.
Nonetheless, he eventually reached his destination. The window was open, since the summer night was warm, so Gary easily crawled through, carefully avoiding making any sound, or to end up breaking something.
As his feet touched the carpet, Gary looked around. The room, though softly lit, was empty. He let out a drawn out sigh, his emerald eyes trailing over everything in sight. It had only been a few days since he'd last been in here, and it still felt like years had passed.
Everything was practically identical to his last memory of the room, aside from Ash himself. The bed was still unmade, a pile of laundry was situated near the door, and most everything else was disorganised, just like it had always been. Gary almost felt nostalgic just by being there.
Yet there was something .. off about the whole setting. Gary recognised everything in sight, but at the same time, nothing felt the same. If he were to put the feeling into words, it was as though the room were dead, as though before, the mere objects in the room, even the random clutter taking up all the shelf space, radiated an aura of life. But now, there was .. nothing.
It was disturbing, to say the least.
As emerald eyes continued over the interior of the room, something out of the corner of his vision caught his interest. Turning his head in the same direction, Gary looked over the hastily placed items covering Ash's desk. Mostly it all consisted things such stationary and a few scrunched pieces of paper; it was one of those torn scraps that spiked his attention.
Written in blue ink on the lined paper, clear as day, were two words he heard often.
The paper was concealed almost completely by the hat Ash had worn while in Sinnoh, but those two words remained visible.
His curiosity immediately got the better of him, and he pushed the hat aside, allowing the imperfect sheet to rest in full view.
Emerald eyes slowly widened with each word they fell upon.
The heading itself was enough to stun him.
Pro's and Con's
But it was what listed underneath that sealed the deal. Twin columns of blue ink dominated the entire page, and the more Gary read, the worse the pain in his chest became.
I can keep travelling. I've been away long enough.
The Unova league. The Indigo League is just as good.
I can train more. I can do that anywhere.
I'll get to learn more about pokémon. There's still a lot I don't know here.
The list went on, further down the page until ..
I'll be able to meet new people. I'll get to stay with Gary.
Gary gripped the edge of the table hard, his emerald eyes closed, and his expression pained.
Ash may have just been straight up honest in writing the list, it was as obvious as it could get, anyway. Less a 'pro's and con's' list, and more of a 'should I go to Unova, or should I stay here' debate. And apparently he quit after considering his ex .. boyfriend?
"What are you doing here, Gary?"
The question was spoken so softly, for a moment Gary was unsure if anything had been said. But as he turned his gaze towards the door, his heart faltered as he saw Ash standing there, dressed in pyjamas that seemed much too big for his skinny frame. He was clearly exhausted, his once bright sienna eyes now bruised and hollow, devoid of any meaningful life.
Gary's traitorous heart squeezed horribly; he had to clench his fists as tight as he could solely to fight the urge to go up to Ash and hold him close, never to let go. "Looking for you," he managed, surpressing any emotion from showing in his voice. He was pretty certain he failed.
For a while, Ash didn't respond, instead standing where he was and staring at Gary with lifeless eyes. "Figures," he finally said, his voice dry and monotone. "So are you happy now?"
It was Gary's turn to stare. "Ash, what .. why would I be happy?" He questioned.
Ash let out a silent breath of air. "You won, Gary. Are you happy about it?" Still, his voice contained no emotion. "Did you want evidence that you've inflicted enough damage on your discarded fucktoy? Is that it?"
"What?!" Gary yelped, turning to face Ash fully. "No, that's not it! Do you .. do you really believe that?" He could feel the tears beginning to gather in his eyes. He'd royally screwed up this time.
An emotion flashed through Ash's eyes, disappeared just as soon as it arrived. Too quick for Gary to put a name to it. "Just like you said," he spoke. "'Only fucking' - your exact words."
"Ash, I didn't mean it, I swear!" Gary protested. For once he had no idea what he could say to make this better. "I .. shouldn't have said that. Any of it."
The younger raised an eyebrow marginally. "Then why did you?" He questioned, then, "Wait, because you're an idiot, right?"
Emerald eyes looked down at the carpet in shame. "You know me, Ash. I've always been an idiot, especially when it comes to you," he admitted. "It was never 'just fucking'."
There was a long pause, then, " .. yeah, right."
"It's the truth!" Gary insisted, but he got no response. "You weren't ever my fucktoy, Ash; even if you were, I must have been your's, right?"
A pink glow lit up Ash's cheeks, and he shifted a little, clearly uncomfortable. "So .. why are you here?" He asked, sounding more exhausted than Gary thought possible.
Tell him you love him, tell him you love him, tell him you love him!
"Because .. " I love you. "I .. needed .. to see you .. "
He recieved no response.
As the seconds ticked on, gradually turning into minutes, Gary slowly gathered the courage to look. His hesitant emerald eyes redirected their gaze from the carpet to the rim of Ash's pyjama trousers, long enough to cover his feet. From there, they slowly moved up, over the material, up Ash's torso, and eventually to his face.
Sienna eyes were glazed over, any emotion absent. They no longer looked at Gary, and instead focused to the side. No doubt whatever Ash was thinking, it didn't relate in any way to forgiveness. And when those brown orbs came to rest upon emerald green, that one look caused Gary to do something he'd never come close to doing at any point in his life before.
Taking a step forward, Gary dropped to one knee before Ash. He never begged. He never handed over control. He didn't wear his heart on his sleeve.
He didn't listen to his heart and live a lonely life because of it.
Gary didn't want that. He wouldn't let himself live that way. He had to put himself out there. If he didn't, then he would never know, and if there were even a slight chance that he and Ash could part on better terms, then Gary was taking it.
"Ash," he spoke, staring deep into those broken, sienna eyes, "if I told you that I'm so sorry I ended things the way I did, and that I missed you more than anything .. what would you say?"
Sienna eyes blinked in shock, unshed tears clinging to the ends of dark lashes. "I .. " His voice was full of disbelief, hesitance and confusion. It hurt Gary's heart to hear. "I'd .. ask you why you did it, why you said what you said, and I .. " His lips pressed together in a tense line. He trembled slightly as his fists clenched, his tear filled eyes swimming with anger. "And I'd say you'd better be sorry for what you did."
Gary inhaled shakily. At least Ash wasn't shouting at him to leave. "I've made a lot of mistakes in my life," he confessed, feeling uneasy, but determined as he did so, "but I've never regretted anything more than breaking up with you."
Brown eyes searched green, which held nothing but sincerity. " .. so why did you do it?" The younger asked, his lower lip trembling ever so slightly.
"Delia told me you were leaving," Gary admitted, "and you hadn't said anything about it." He breathed out shakily. "I've always wanted you to fulfil your dream and become a pokémon master, you know that. But I .. I guess I was clinging onto the hope that if you weren't planning to go anywhere in the near future, you could .. that we could stay together, then maybe - mmph!"
A pair of lips pressed against his own, ending his sentence, while Ash wrapped his arms around Gary's neck, kissing him with such force they both fell back, Ash landing quite comfortably on Gary's chest.
For a long while they remained where they were, never once breaking the contact they shared, until Ash eventually pulled away. He looked into the stunned emerald eyes of his former lover, their lips touching as he spoke. "I .. I was gonna ask you to come with me," he admitted, looking sheepish as he lowered his eyes. He bit down on his lower lip while staring at the zipper on Gary's jacket.
Emerald eyes widened in sudden shock. " .. what?" His voice was momentarily weakened as he processed the information. "But .. you didn't ask," he pointed out, his eyes narrowing a little. "Ash, you were leaving in less than a week. Why did you ask?"
Ash refocused his gaze upon Gary. "I .. I keep putting it off," he admitted in a quiet voice, clearly ashamed. "I knew you were going back to Sinnoh, and I didn't want to lose any of the time we had left if you said no .. " His eyes flickered back to Gary's jacket. "It's stupid, but .. I guess it made sense at the time .. "
Had Gary thought so, he didn't show it. "You wanted me to go with you?" He asked, still unable to fully grasp the situation.
His gaze still fixed unwaveringly upon the neck line of Gary's jacket, Ash shifted against him, no verbal reply needed.
Gary reached up, gently brushing aside the fringe of raven hair. "And .. do you still want me to? Even after what I did?"
Ash looked up once more, tears finally spilling over as he nodded shyly.
Inhaling, then exhaling deeply, Gary mused, only half to himself, "Well, I have been thinking I should travel more," hesitant brown eyes shined with hope, "and there are a lot of pokémon there I haven't even heard of .. "
" .. so?" Ash dared himself to speak. " .. does that mean you'll come?" There was no denying the barely concealed hope in his voice.
Looking deeply into Ash's eyes, Gary gave him a genuine smile. "Why not?" He said, "I only want to be where you are, Ash."
He would have said more, but before he could grasp the chance, Ash leaned forward, his lips meeting Gary's in a frenzy of need. His arms tightened around Gary, as the researcher's came up to hold him, one circling around his waist, and one burying itself in dark hair.
Ash moaned lightly as he felt Gary's lips part, a tongue running across his bottom lip, requesting entrance, which Ash didn't hesitate to grant. He pulled his legs up so he was straddling Gary's waist, his member pressed up against him, which Gary could feel becoming hard, even through his jacket.
He gasped suddenly, as Ash reached down and grasped Gary through his jeans, rubbing his hand against the demin and feeling Gary hardening against his touch.
"Fuck," Gary groaned, his lips parting from Ash's oxygen became very much required.
Above him, he saw Ash smirk quite deviously. "Oh, I will," he cooed, in a way that made Gary shiver. With his free hand, he pulled down the zip on Gary's jacket, revealing the white shirt underneath, then almost immediately pressed his lips to Gary's neck, kissing the patch of skin before nipping at it.
Gary's arm tightened around Ash's waist, his hand gripping raven hair tightly. His breathing quickened as Ash ran his tongue over the broken skin on Gary's neck, sucking firmly, determined to leave a mark.
Gary moaned deeply, his head falling back, overcome at the sheer intensity of having Ash back in his arms. His hands trailed down Ash's back, relishing the feeling of the raven haired boy shivering at the touch, and pulled at the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and exposing Ash's torso. The younger, aware of his lover's point, arched his back and lifted his arms, making the action easier.
The very second the shirt touched the carpet was when Ash's lips collided with Gary's in a flurry of passion. As Gary's hands roamed up and down his bare skin, it didn't take long for Ash to decide he wanted the same privilege, and shimmed lower down to sit on Gary's thighs while he tugged at the white shirt.
Thankfully for him, it seemed Gary wanted the very same, and sat up to allow Ash to pull it off him entirely.
Instead of throwing his arms around Gary's neck and holding him as close as he could manage, Ash placed both his palms against Gary's chest, feeling it rise and fall with each breath he took.
It was mesmorising.
Unable to resist, Ash trailed his hands to either side, watching intently for each reaction Gary gave. When he touched Gary's nipples, he felt the muscles beneath his palms tense, a muffled groan escaping Gary's lips.
The sound urged him on, and he subtly flicked the tan nub; the reaction that followed was stronger than before. Before he knew it, he was gently teasing them both into hardness, as Gary buried his face in dark hair his breathing heavy, warming Ash's scalp.
They both shivered.
That very second was when neither could wait any longer. Warm hands slid beneath the rim of Ash's pyjama trousers, and he was instantly grateful he'd forgone wearing any underwear, as it made the whole thing so much easier. Before he even realised it had happened, Ash was free of any clothing, kneeling completely naked above Gary, one leg either side of his hips.
"Uh .. Gary?" He panted, staring into emerald depths.
But Gary was uninterested in any words being spoken. "Shh," he soothed, placing the lightest of kisses upon Ash's lips, his hands finding their way to Ash's backside, recieving a moan in response when he applied pressure.
Ash's arms coiled around his neck as the younger deepened their kisses, a tongue invading Gary's mouth as he willingly parted his lips. As their tongues danced together, Gary pressed his index finger to Ash's entrance, teasing it a little before pushing it inside. But when Ash tensed, whimpering in pain, he paused, then retracted his finger.
"D'you have any lube?" Gary asked, breaking their lip contact to voice the question.
Ash almost seemed to think the question over a little, before nodding. "Uh, yeah .. in the .. the top drawer," he murmured, his eyes half lidded as he reached behind Gary, fumbling around with something for a while before producing a bottle of purple lubricant. "Here .. "
Gary took the familiar bottle, flicking the lid off and squeezing some of the purple liquid into his hand, coating his fingers as much as he could. He set the bottle on the floor, then went to repeat his action, only this time, there was no protest.
Ash buried both his hands in auburn spikes, groaning as the uncomfortable, yet familiar feeling invaded him from behind.
Once he was satisfied Ash had adjusted to the first digit, Gary inserted a second, withdrawing them both almost all the way, before sliding them back in, repeating the motion until Ash was pushing back down, content sighs escaping. When Gary entered a third finger, there was only a momentary pause before Ash continued his movements. And by then, Gary was almost burning with desire.
Though before he could pull his hand away, two smaller ones untangled themselves from his hair, running down his chest and clumsily undoing the button on his jeans. Once Ash was done, the yanked them down, Gary retracting his fingers as he did so, until they were off completely, along with Gary's shoes and socks, both of them unclothed.
As Ash returned to his original position, Gary picked up the bottle again, this time covering his arousal, utterly unwilling to bring anymore pain to his lover.
When he moved both his hands away to hold onto Ash's hips, the raven haired boy began to lower himself, feeling the tip of Gary's length nudging against his entrance a moment later. He bit the inside of his lip in anticipation of what was about to follow, his grip on Gary's shoulders tightening.
Gary held a firm grip on Ash's hips, his eyes scrunched shut as the tip of his arousal was engulfed in an unbearable heat. His breathing began to speed up, his heart pounding in his chest. It took every last ounce of self control to keep himself from thrusting up into Ash.
As he lowered himself onto the hard member, Ash grit his teeth, trying with all his might to supress the dam of moans that were struggling to escape past his lips. But as he buried Gary's entire length inside himself, his control was lost; pleasure filled moans, combined with his quick, heavy breaths flooded out from within his throat as he felt the hard length pressing against that sensitive spot hidden deep within him.
Unable to wait any longer, Ash slowly rose, then slid back down, quickly becoming lost in the pleasurable sensations that immediately begun coursing through his body. Repeating the process over and over, settling into a rhythm, his head lolled back, his every nerve singing as wave after wave of euphoric bliss flowed through him, consuming him completely.
Though they remained half lidded, Gary opened his eyes, watching the younger male sitting atop him, slowly rising up and sliding down. It was mesmorising, the motions, the sounds, the expressions his raven haired lover made. He could hardly control himself; he leaned forward, kissing Ash's chest, then running his tongue over a nipple and sucking it, the bud becoming hard beneath his ministrations.
Once satisfied, Gary released it, and began kissing his way up to Ash's neck and jawline, one hand trailing up Ash's side to gently tease his other nipple into hardness.
Ash moaned through his euphoriam tilting his head to the side as Gary nibbled along his jawline, brushing his lips across his cheek until they came into contact with those of his lover. He teased them, licking and sucking upon them until Ash granted him access.
Gary taunted the opposing tongue, carefully rising to his feet. Ash wrapped his arms around Gary's neck, his legs curling around his waist, holding on as they moved towards the bed, both wanting to retain their deep contact.
A moment later, Ash felt himself being lowered down on his back atop his duvet, Gary coming to rest on top of him, their chests touching. Gary rolled his hips against Ash's, making the younger arch into him, pulling Gary closer with his legs.
Continuing to do so, Gary pulled away from Ash's lips in order to look down at the calm, pleasure filled face of his lover. It was in this moment that Ash always looked more beautiful than Gary would have ever thought possible; his large sienna eyes were glazed over by lust, his cheeks flushed pink, and his lips parted slightly, moans passing them with each thrust Gary gave.
There were no words Gary could think of that would describe just how perfect Ash was.
He slid his hands up from Ash's sides, and he leaned down to kiss his neck, running his tongue over the fading mark from a few days ago, gently nipping and sucking the same area of skin, defining the hickey once more. "You're so beautiful," he whispered, then moved to place his lips on Ash's, kissing him deeply. HIs thrusts continued; long, slow, and utterly torturing, causing Ash to thrust his own hips up against him, desperately trying to create more friction and gain more depth.
Ash's hand interwined within wild, auburn hair, locking in place in order to hold onto something to prevent losing himself within carnal bliss.
Gary rested his hands next to Ash's sides, letting him lift up and gain more leverage and strength for his thrusts, while Ash instinctively wrapped his arms around his lower back, pulling Gary closer, almost as though he were afraid his lover was going to leave him.
Gary's thrusts became deeper with each passing moment, and as a result, Ash's moans became louder, almost to the point of screaming as Gary abused that wonderous spot within him, the one place that made him weak to Gary's touches. Tension was building up almost unbearably in his stomach, his breathing heavy and laboured as he neared his peak. His dripping arousal was rubbing against Gary's toned stomach, making the intense burn that much more unbearable, his release coiling tightly.
Gary grasped Ash's hips once again, lifting him up so he could thrust harder into his lover, going as deep as he dared to go.
The younger threw his head back against the pillows, his back arching as his release neared. He was so close, he just needed a little more ..
"G - Ga .. Gary ~ !" Ash's screams of ecstasy radiated throughout the room, as the trainer threw his head back, panting heavily. "I .. I .. ngh - aahh ~ !"
The string of garbled nonsense was the only sound that Ash could make, his body arching, eyes scrunched shut, and his entire face a shade of pink. And as Gary slammed into him once more, ruthlessly stimulating that wonderous spot within Ash that made him scream in mindless pleasure, sienna eyes burst open, pink lips formed into a perfect 'o' as he reached his climax, white spilling out of his neglected arousal and coating Gary's stomach.
Every muscle in his body weakened, and each nerve singing a high tune, Ash fell back against the bed, lost in the waves of euphoric bliss that consumed him. His chest heaved, his ears ringing, and his vision non existent as he basked in the sheer intensity of his high.
For those few, wonderous moments, it felt as though nothing existed outside of his pleasure filled stupor, overflowing with pure ecstasy. That is, until an oh-so familiar sound reached his ears as Gary orgasmed, followed instantly by the tingling feeling of being filled to the brim.
The silence that would have followed was tainted by the heavy breathing of both teens. Gary slumped down to lie completely on Ash, unable to move if he tried. Nor did Ash have any qualms against this.
Eventually, as the minutes passed, their strength returned to them, the post orgasmic sensations calmed to a mere after glow.
" .. Gary?" The younger asked, once his breathing had controlled itself to a reasonable level.
Still far too weakened to even attempt to lift himself, Gary, his face still pressed into the dip in Ash's neck, replied with, "Yeah?"
Unable to resist, Ash ran his hands through the mass of auburn spikes, a small, sleepy smile on his face. "That was - "
" - good?" Gary guessed, also smiling.
With a devious glint in his eyes, Ash shook his head a little. "Phenomonal."
Several seconds passed before Gary pushed himself up on his arms to look Ash in his eyes, twin emeralds reflecting surprise. "Excuse me?" He asked, not quite sure if he'd heard correctly, or if the high of simply being with Ash again had hindered his ability to hear.
Ash's smile increased. "My vocabulary doesn't stop at 'good'," he explained, almost giggling at Gary's look of bewilderment.
Eventually, Gary's smile mirrored Ash's. "You don't say," he chuckled, leaning down to pant a kiss on those pink lips. "Anything else I should know?" He murmured in the brief moments they weren't connected.
Ash hummed breathily in confirmation. "Yeah," was his reply, as he tightened his hold around his lover. "It's late," he elaborated, "and I'm sleepy."
When morning came, sunlight seeping through the chinks in the blinds, Gary was pleasantly roused from his sleep, a warm, comfortable weight on top of him, and a soothing breeze tickling his neck. He didn't want to move; everything about the early morning was lulling him back to sleep.
Yet just as he was on the brink of falling back into blissful dreams, he felt something brush against his cheek. It was a tender gesture, one that gave Gary the motivation to open his eyes. The moment he did, he found himself staring up into a pair of sienna.
"You've never stayed the night before," Ash murmured, continuing to stroke the side of Gary's face, brushing away the stray auburn tresses. As Gary reached up to hold the smaller hand in his own, a genuine smile graced Ash's lips. "You look really cute when you sleep."
Gary raised an eyebrow. "I could say the same to you," he stated. Then he sighed. "But just think, this is our first time actually sleeping together."
Ash paused in his ministrations, his eyebrows coming together in realisation. "You're right," he responded. "Weird, huh?"
Gary hummed his agreement, as Ash shifted slightly, looking as though something was occupying his mind.
"I .. I wanted you to," he admitted quietly, looking a little embarassed, as though he expected Gary to tease him for it.
However, Gary only said, "You never asked."
Though doing so a little awkwardly in his position, Ash shrugged. "I didn't think I needed to," he said, lowering himself to rest his head on Gary's chest, tracing small circles with his pinky finger. "I sorta thought it was obvious I wanted you to stay. I like being with you."
Running a hand through the tangle of raven hair, Gary sighed, recalling the nights he'd snuck off before Ash had the chance to wake up and find him there. Even during the nights they'd spent at Gary's, he'd always thought up some mundane reason not to be there when Ash inevitably roused from his sleep. All those nights, Ash had fallen asleep in Gary's arms, only to wake up alone.
The researcher felt a pang of guilt in his chest.
He didn't want to waste any more time with Ash. For far too long he'd taken the young trainer for granted. Starting right that second, he would do it no more.
With that thought, Gary rolled over, pushing Ash onto his back as he lay over him, their lips barely an inch apart. His emerald eyes stared deep into the mildly stunned sienna, which blinked several times.
"Ash," the researcher started hesitantly, unsure of how to go about it.
Ash, noticing his lover's unease, gave him an encouraging smile. "It's okay," he soothed, "go ahead. You can tell me."
Those brown eyes were sincere, to the point that it was all Gary needed. With a smile of his own, the words he had always wanted to say came tumbing out;
"I love you, Ash," he confessed, watching as those warm, innocent eyes widened marginally. "I have .. for a really long time."
Moments passed as Ash allowed the words to sink in. There were so many things he could say right now, including the obvious, but in his typical fashion, he instead asked, "For how long?"
Gary wasn't annoyed, and for a few seconds, his eyes glazed over with thought. "I don't know," he admitted. "At the time we were in the Silver Conference was when I realised it, but I'm pretty sure I've liked you for .. well, a lot longer."
"The Silver Conference?" Ash mused, his lips in a slight frown.
" .. is something wrong?" Gary asked, confusion lacing his tone with Ash's sudden switch in mood. Though not as much as when Ash suddenly beamed at him.
"I've liked you since we were seven," he confessed happily. "Maybe before that, but I remember that moment."
Gary thought back, but couldn't pinpoint the exact moment Ash was hinting at. "Could you refresh my memory?" He requested, and Ash nodded.
"That summer we were at the beach, when I dropped my ice cream, and you shared your's with me."
This time, it was Gary's turn to blink in surprise. "Since then?" He asked in disbelief, only to be met by another nod.
Ash was met with silence, the ensuing minute being one where the smile gradually disappeared from his face. "What's wrong?" He asked, feeling his chest tighten.
" .. nothing," Gary said, drawing himself out of his thoughts. "I'm just a little offended, that's all."
Sienna eyes widened in shock. "What d'you mean?" He asked, his heart fluttered nervously in his chest.
"You fell in love with me after that incident," Gary said slowly, his emerald eyes serious, "but what about the summer before that? Does my heroic rescue from those Beedrill mean nothing to you?"
Ash could only stare for several moments, before he noticed the grin threatening to make itself known on Gary's expression. A pillow promptly collided with the researcher's head.
"Don't do that!" Ash complained, as Gary laughed at his embarassment. "You had me really worried!"
"Oh?" Gary mused, managing to retain his laughter as he raised an eyebrow. "What's that? Did worry you, Ashy?"
Though his body was still pinned beneath Gary's, Ash turned his head sharply to the right, away from that infuriating smirk. " .. no .. " He mumbled, pink glazing his cheeks.
Gary wasn't fazed. "Is that so?" He teased, pressing his lips to Ash's exposed neck when the he refused to respond. "You can't fool me, Ashy boy."
Ash shifted, his lips pushed out in that adorable pout of his. "I'm just telling it like it is," he insisted, almost grumpily. It only made Gary chuckle.
"You're too cute for your own good, you know that?" He murmured against Ash's neck, his tone overflowing with affection.
"I'm not cute," Ash huffed, but tilted his head to the side a little more, granting Gary better access as he started to nip at the sensitive skin. The trainer allowed his eyes to flutter shut, moaning contently at the ministration.
Gary continued his work, sucking at the patch of skin to form a fresh mark so that Ash bore one either side of his neck, very nearly symmetrical with one another. As Gary pulled away to examine his work, his hands trailed down Ash's chest and stomach. He smirked at the moans the simple action coaxed out of his raven haired lover, but halted all movement as a thought struck him.
" .. Gary?" Ash questioned, being drawn out of his pleasured stupor at the sudden lack of contact.
A moment later, Gary turned his head to meet Ash's eyes, his eyebrows pulled together slightly in thought. "Shouldn't you be on a plane right about now?" He inquired, the thoughts that had bothered him coming back full force.
Sienna eyes blinked a few times, but Ash then shook his head lazily. "Nope," was all he said, closing his eyes once more.
Gary frowned, confused with the development. "What do you mean?"
With his eyes still closed, Ash smiled. "I'm not going anywhere," he said. "I'm staying right here."
Gary could only stare for a moment, then he sighed. "This isn't about something I've done, is it?" He asked, thinking back to the night before.
Ash opened one eye, his expression unchanged from his relaxed smile. "Why would you think that?" He inquired, genuinely curious.
Gary shrugged slightly. "I don't know, just .. stuff, y'know?"
Ash frowned. "No, I don't know," he said, and Gary sighed.
"Well, were you really expecting any of this," he indicated to the both of them, "to happen when you woke up yesterday?" He paused, before adding, "Have your plans even changed in the slightest since last week?"
Still, Ash continued to frown. "Apart from staying here, then no," he replied.
"Ash," the researcher went on, seriously, "you're supposed to be heading to Unova right now. Instead you're lying in bed with me. Doesn't that bother you?"
For a micro second, Ash didn't react, then his frown curled into a seductive grin. "Give me one good reason why sitting on a plane all day is in any way better than being here with you," he challenged.
Despite not getting a full answer, Gary couldn't help but laugh a little at the response. "I'm serious, Ash - "
"So am I," the trainer interjected. Gary ignored it.
" - you've been planning to go to Unova for a while. It's not everyday someone's plans just change before they know it." He hesitated, looking uncomfortable as he said, "I don't want to hold you back from anything."
Ash's hand immediately reached out to stroke his cheek, pushing away the stray auburn strands. "You're not," he assured. "I was gonna ask you to come with me, remember? And I did. But I don't think you can plan to leave for another region overnight."
Gary couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at the comment. "But saving the invite until the last minute is okay?" It wasn't so much a question, but Ash looked a little embarassed.
"I .. I was worried you'd say no, and .. things would become really awkward," he admitted, not meeting the emerald gaze. At least, not until Gary cupped one side of his face, gently coaxing Ash to look at him.
"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Gary inquired, and Ash nodded automatically, making the researcher sigh. "Don't lie to me, Ash," he pleaded.
Hesitance filled Ash's features, and for a while it seemed as though he were debating whether or not to chew his lower lip. "Do you .. remember when we were kids, and we promised we'd travel together?"
Ash didn't need to say anything else.
"That's what you wanted for us now." It wasn't a question.
Not breaking eye contact, Ash nodded.
Initially, Gary appeared almost lost for words, then a small smile touched his lips. "Well, just because I'm not the nicest guy doesn't mean I don't keep my promises."
Ash blinked. "So .. ?"
Gary could have laughed, but instead opted to wrap his arms around Ash and hold him close. "You're such an idiot," he murmured.
"Hey!" Came the protest, and Gary could hear the pout in his tone.
"I wouldn't lie to you, Ash," Gary insisted. "At least not about something so serious."
The raven haired boy in his arms only scowled, emitting a growl that bore a striking resemblance to the sound a very displeased Skitty would make. Yet before long, smaller arms found their way around Gary's neck.
"Yeah," he murmured, nuzzling his head against Gary's shoulder as a yawn made itself known. "I know."
Author's Note: Sorry! I wasn't quite sure how to end it. But I'm done. So that's one less thing to worry about. That is, until I get ambitious and decide to write two fics at once. Again. Should that idea ever cross my mind, someone please remind me why I should never attempt to do so xD
Anyways, if you enjoyed, then may you review? It's always lovely to know you guys like what I write :)