You fuckasses ready? k.


In a AU that has nothing to do with houseTrap, there lives this teenage boy named Karkat Vantas whose life Is a a total fuckass. His apartment is a fuckass. His roommate is a fuckass. His toilet is a fuckass. His cat is a fuckass. Everything, including the entire fabric of the universe...is a fuckass.

He wakes up and storms into Gamzee's room because he was mad cause Gamzee was smoking too much pot and he didn't share non with the Karkat. So the Karkat slaps him so hard that his clown makeup went sideways on his face, and he was like " Gamzee, you jugallo shit, you didn't share your pot with me!1!1! FUCKASS"

Gamzee was like " sorry bro, there isn't anymore MoThErFuCkIn' pot"

He flipped his shit and drank some orange juice and then flipped his shit again.

" GAMZEE THIS IS WHY YOUTR A FUCKASD. YOU ALWAYS SMOKING UP POT"

Him and Gamzee got breakfast and ate. He was still mad at him cuz he kept smoking pot and not share any pot.

This everyday happens everyday.

( get it? They smoke pot because this is a humanstuck. So it's canon )

SCHOOL:

Sollux was waiting for karkat and gamzee to come. Karkat twerk across the street. Gamzee was from last night.

Sollux was a fat.
He liked eat Doritos.
And has PMS.

But that okay, because it's totally in character.

Karkat slapped Sollux Captorjesus for being a fuckass and Sollux and Gamzee followed Karkat in class because all 3 three of them were really close friends, despite having different classes and the teacher did not give a damn because SHE TOO WAS ALSO SMOKING POT. Except for Eridan, who they call Desperation Man, because hebhated smoking pot.

Since this is a Human!stuck, Eridan cannot fill his cod damn quadrants and smoke pot because it's coanon. stfu.

And Feferi is fat. ( That's my headcanon shut the fuck up )

Eridan was like " I hate Sollux so much "

" Glub lub lub glub " replied feferi.

" I WANT HIM DEAD " he scream so loud that everyone heard in class, but nobody cared because, hell, THEY ALL WERE SMOKING POT.

( STFU it's a humanstock so it's CAMNON TO SMOKE POT GOSH! )

Don't letme repeat myself. OAY.

At lunch time, Vriska pushed Tavros down the stairs. Gamzee and Karkat walked pass them anyways and Sollux was far behind because he was fat.

They shit at their lunch tables. Sollux was too fat to fit in his seat.

They went to get their lunch and Sollux ATE EVERYTHING.

" This food is fuckass", said Karkat.

" I mean, they don't even have enough fuckass".

John and Dave nodded in agreement because they were their friends too.

" Karkat, you need to lay off the fuckass don't you think?" adviced John.

" No, Fuckass, I'm perfectly fine with my fuckass, fuckass" he replied back, with a bag of weed in his hand.

And ho shit, Sollux's fatass wanted to say something," Pot ii2th cool"

And they all were like " YAY POT".

Okay, then, fuckass, i what I'm writing.

tAVROS came along.

" hey...Uh...can I have...Uh...Uh...uH...uH...U UuH uH...UH...UH...uh...some pot too?"

Thay all said no because Tavros was a lame ho.

(HEADCANON)

Cliffhanger.