okay I hope you enjoy this little Ron and Hermione moment! x
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters.
The Burrow was dead quiet. You could hear the mice shuffling around behind the walls, the windows creak because of the summer's night breeze. You could hear Ginny's steady breathing at the other side of the room, and it made Hermione's head feel like it was about to explode.
Every time she'd close her eyes, she saw green and red spells blasting out of wands instead of the usual blackness of her eyelids. High pitched screams filled her ears every time she was alone and the smell of fire and burning skin was still carved into her nostrils. It had been almost two weeks since the final battle, but it felt like she had stood in the middle of groups of fighting wizards, battling an army of Death Eaters just seconds ago.
The days weren't so bad, Harry and Ginny kept her mind off of things most of the time, probably to keep their own minds off of things as well. Molly and Arthur were out most of the day, strolling along the wide fields surrounding the Burrow, only coming back inside to make dinner and sleep. Molly wasn't coping very well, the loss of Fred had left deep marks. Her eyes were always blood-shot and watery, as if she had not stopped crying since the loss of her child, which was probably true. Arthur was trying to get her back on track by appreciating her food, but they all tasted her salty tears, making her food not as good as it used to be. Looking at her, a lost, damaged soul trying but failing to take care of the ones she loved, made Hermione's heart ache.
And then there was Ron.
Hermione hadn't talked to him since they came back to the Burrow, simply because she hadn't had a chance. Yes, they had comforted each other in the Great Hall and yes they had hugged each other goodnight the night after the war, but they still hadn't talked about what had happened in the chamber of secrets. Every time she came to the top floor, where he and Harry shared his bedroom, he'd mutter something about needing to help his mum and was out before she was able to say Merlin. At dinner he didn't look a her or smirked at her when their feet bumped into each other, as they so often did, but instead he stared at his plate the whole time, as if he wanted to burn a hole in it with his eyes. Hermione had tried to talk to Harry about it, but he had simply shrugged his shoulders and told her that it really was Ron she had to talk to.
So here she was, lying in her makeshift bed in Ginny's room, thinking about that particular read-headed boy, while she was trying to stay awake because falling sleep meant going to that place, and she was never going to go there again, ever.
The nights weren't a time to relax anymore, they were a time of pure horror.
She would never sleep again, if that's what it took to keep the cackling laugh of Bellatrix Lestrange out of her head.
The sound of someone descending the stairs cut through her thoughts and she knew right away that it was Ron. He had gone downstairs every night since they had come back, and every night she had pondered on about whether she'd go to him or not. Every night she had decided against it, and had listened to him bustling about in the kitchen instead. This night, however, she decided that it was now or never, and she got out of her bed and quietly descended the stairs, so that she won't wake anyone. As she reached the kitchen door she stopped in her tracks, taking in the scene before her. Standing in front of her, but with his back towards her, was Ron. He was only wearing his pajama-shorts and an old Chudley Cannon shirt, and he was reaching for the cacao-powder bin at the top shelve. Hermione couldn't do anything but stare at him, taking in every detail of his body. Of course, she had noticed that he had gotten broader since last summer, but the way his shoulder muscles moved under his shirt, which was a bit too small for his tall frame, made her breathing become uneven. As he flexed his arm to its full extend, standing on his tiptoes to make himself as long as possible, his shirt rode up his belly, and Hermione's eyes focused on the stripe of bare skin at the bottom of his shirt. The skin was slightly red from the sun, and completely covered with freckles. His pajama shorts rested low on his hips, and Hermione had a clear view of his bum, which was surprisingly round and only covered with his boxers. Hermione subconsciously licked her lips as she went back to the naked skin of his back.
In her mind she was replaying the memory she had replayed every time she wasn't haunted by the memories of the war. She could feel Ron's arms around her again and his lips on hers, as they had clenched to each other desperately. She could feel the soft touch of his lips on hers, and his arms around her waist, as they had kissed for the first time. She could taste him again; a mix of chocolate biscuits and spearmint, and a strong flavour she could only describe as "Ron". As he had lifted her off her feet, he had opened his mouth, and his taste had overwhelmed her, making her knees go weak and her heart pump twice as fast as it already did. He had gently pushed his tongue inside of her mouth, tasting her with a passion that made Hermione's love for him even stronger. They had moved in such a perfect synchronization, that every doubt about their souls being made for each other had left Hermione's brain. They hadn't been standing in the Chamber of Secrets anymore, and Harry hadn't been shouting at them that they had a war to win. They had been the only souls on earth and Hermione had absolutely loved it. She could remember how his shoulders had felt under her touch as she had pulled him even closer, so that every inch of his body touched hers. Ron's big hands had rested on her lower back, fingers spread as if he wanted to touch her whole body at once, and he had pushed her to him as if she was a baby that needed protection. He had held her as if she was everything he would ever need, and that was exactly how she had felt about him.
Hermione hadn't noticed that her breathing had quickened, and when Ron's concerned voice cut through her memory, she flashed her eyes open, which she had closed absent-mindedly, completely emerged in her thoughts. Her eyes fluttered to Ron's face, and she realized that he had probably been watching her for quite a while. A blush crept up her cheeks as she quickly tried to regain her composure, shaking her body lightly, as if she wanted to shake off Ron's touch. "Hermione, " Ron said, his voice more husky than normal. "what are you doing here? "
"urghh, I coul.. couldn't sleep. I.. I heard you coming down the stairs so I thought I... I'd keep you company for a while.." she looked up and saw the discomfort and awkwardness in Ron's ice-blue eyes. "I should go though, I'm sorry for startling you. Goodnight.." She turned to leave the kitchen, but a gentle touch on her wrist stopped her. Ron's hand had closed itself around her wrist, his touch sending warm sparks through her body. She snapped her head back to look at her wrist, a blush once again creeping up her face.
"Hermione, stay. Please."
It hadn't been more than a whisper but it was enough for Hermione. She turned towards Ron, but hadn't realized that he had stepped closer, so she bumped into his chest. Her arms instinctively went up to protect her chest, and she found herself clutching his shirt with both hands. Their closeness was both comforting and unnerving, his scent overwhelmed her and she didn't dare to look him in the eyes. She was sure that if she did, she would lose all the self-control she had so hard tried to build the past week, and she didn't want to crack in front of him. A wave of shame came over her as she felt tears welling up in her eyes. The desperation in his voice had brought her back to Shell Cottage, where his voice had sounded exactly the same when he had tried to get her back to her real self, comforting her and speaking to her softly, as if he didn't want to scare her off. As much as he had tried, he hadn't succeeded, and realizing this made Hermione's heart sink. She tried to step back to get up to Ginny's room before it was too late, but Ron had reflexively grabbed her waist as she had bumped into him, so she couldn't move. Her breaths became shallow and her head began to spin, as she lost herself in her memories once again. Her ears were ringing with the sound of Ron screaming her name in Malfoy Manor, and she couldn't hold back her tears anymore.
So she cried.
She cried about everyone and everything they had lost. she cried for Colin, for Tonks and Lupin. She cried for Fred and with that she cried for George, who would never be able to feel whole again. She cried for Dumbledore and Sirius, she cried for Dobby and she even cried for Hedwig. But mostly, she cried for herself.
She had lost herself in that war. She didn't know who she was anymore, every time she looked into the mirror she didn't see Hermione Jean Granger. She saw a girl with haunted eyes, who stared at her without really seeing her. She cried because of the fact that she never would feel completely happy again. She cried for the guilt she felt towards all the people she hadn't managed to save. Every time she felt her heart beat the guilt coursed through her more violently. She should live her life the best way possible, she owed that to them, but instead she lived in the past, not being able to shake off all the horrible things she had gone through. She didn't deserve to live, if she couldn't even look at her best friend without feeling responsible for the pain in his eyes. She had failed as a witch and now she was failing as a human, by being a weakling and, instead of helping him, dragging Ron with her in her pain.
All the tears she had forced back for two weeks came out, all the fear and sorrow she had held inside because she had had to stay strong came to her all at once, and all she could do was cry. Ron's orange shirt got darker and darker as more tears descended her cheeks and stained the fabric, but slowly her heart began to shrink into its normal size. The guilt began to ebb away, and the room slowly stopped spinning. She could breathe normally again and noticed that she felt better than she had in days.
Slowly she began to realize that Ron's hands hadn't stayed where they were before her walls had crumbled down. He was now rubbing her back, firm but in a gentle way, leaving hot trails which caused a shiver to run down her spine. She then heard his voice, quiet and soothing, muttering comforting words into her hair. He kept saying that he was sorry, that he should have gotten to her earlier, that he could have saved her. She felt his tears leaking through her hair, touching her scalp like hot knifes. She had been clutching his shirt tightly, and slowly released her grip. She then moved her arms around his waist, so that her chest touched his. She could feel his heartbeat on her ear, and heard the speed of the pumping sound increase as she stepped a bit closer to him. She heard Ron inhale sharply, and couldn't help but blush. his large hands still continued to rub her back, easily covering every inch of her tiny frame. His muttering stopped as Hermione's sobbing sounds subsided and she slowly opened her eyes. As she looked up, she saw him staring at her, his eyes filled with sadness and concern, but most of all love. He looked at her the way he had looked at her after their kiss in the Chamber.
He looked at her like she meant more to him than anything the world had to offer.
He slowly removed one of his arms from around her waist and pushed the curls that stuck to her tear-stained face out of the way. he then wiped his thumb under her eyes gently, removing the tears that hadn't made it to his shirt. Hermione flashed him a weak smile, still feeling a bit wobbly from all the feelings she had just let out. She didn't trust her voice to start talking, so she just looked into his eyes. She had missed his eyes. During the time that they were away she had looked in them every single day , and now she hadn't seen them for over 10 days. The colour of them took her breath away.
She had always loved Ron's eyes, they had been her absolute favourite colour since the first time she had seen them; she had even painted the walls of her bedroom at her parents house in the same colour, so that she would miss him a bit less during the summer. She loved diving in those pools of blue, reading all his emotions and secrets, as if she was diving for sea urchins in Greece. Whenever he laughed they'd lit up, showing golden spots, like the sun reflecting on the surface of the ocean at sunset. She had studied them every time she had had the chance, which was a lot since they had been stuck in a tent for most of the journey. She knew every expression, every feature, every shade of blue and she would fantasize about what colour his eyes would be when he felt passion, love, or lust.
Every time she had looked at him during their quest she'd imagined what it would be like if she stood only mere inches away from him, how she would feel when his arms were around her. She had already known that she loved him, it was obvious. Every time he had touched her the feeling wouldn't go away for several hours. And now she was standing in his arms, his face was only mere inches away, and his eyes were locked with hers.
Ron broke the silence by clearing his throat awkwardly. He didn't remove his hand from her face, though. It was now cupping her cheek, and she felt herself leaning into his touch.
"I am so sorry, Hermione," he muttered, his voice heavy with emotion. "you shouldn't have to feel this way. The war is over, everything is going to be just fine. Yes, we lost people who are dear to us in the battle, but we are still alive, and we should be happy because of that. You deserve happiness, Hermione." She felt her tears well up again at the amount of passion in his eyes.
"I.. I just feel so guilty. Fred deserved a life, and Teddy deserves his parents... I wish I-"
"Don't ever think that again Hermione, that's just rubbish!" Ron nothing but shouted, interrupting her sentence. "You deserve to live more than anyone in the world. You have been so brave, even after the war you stayed strong, trying to hide your emotions to help the ones you love. If you had died.. I.. I don't know what I'd do. I'm not saying that I don't miss Fred, bloody hell I miss him so fucking much. But never feel guilty about living. Promise me. You.. you mean the w.. world to me, Hermione. I... I don't think I'd be able to live without you." his voice had slowly died out, and he broke eye contact, looking at his shoes, his face a deep shade of red. Before Hermione could say anything, however, he looked up again, and the intensity of his stare made her gasp. There were tears running down his cheeks, but in his eyes was nothing but determination and love.
"I love you Hermione. I love you so fucking much."
Hermione's tears had started to flow again as well, but she didn't have time to wipe them away, as Ron's crushed his lips onto hers. Her eyes shot tight at the feeling of his lips against hers, and all bad thoughts left her brain as Ron filled every corner of her mind. He moved his hands to her neck and buried them in her hair, making it even fuzzier than it already was. Hermione's hands were still around his waist, but she removed them and instead wrapped them around his neck, pulling him even closer. Ron hugged her as close as possible, so that she could feel his body pressed against hers. She opened her mouth and traced her tongue against his lips, causing Ron to groan wildly as he opened his mouth as well. Their tongues battled each other in a slow and sensual fight, and Hermione lost herself in the taste of him. He gently took her tongue in his mouth and sucked on it softly, making Hermione cry out in surprise. His hands traveled down her back and stopped as they reached her bum, cupping it with his large hands. Hermione arched her back, trying to feel as much of Ron as possible, and moaned as she felt his excitement probe her stomach. Her lips released his and she moved down to his neck, loving the feeling of his stubble against her lips. She moved to his ear and nibbled on his earlobe. Ron groaned loudly and lifted her off the ground by her bum, making Hermione gasp in his ear. She wrapped her legs around his waist and Ron pushed her up, so that her sensitive part rubbed against his growing erection . They both gasped at the sensation, and Hermione closed her eyes in delight.
She felt Ron back down, until he hit the counter, where he turned around to gently put her on top of it. Her then moved his lips towards hers again, thrusting his tongue inside right away, making Hermione whimper. He stood between her legs as she still had them wrapped around his, and the feeling of his prominent member against her sensitive nub made her shiver with desire. "Ron," she breathed, as he let go of her lips to suckle on her collar-bone. She threw her head in her neck, giving him better access, and dragged her nails over his shoulders, making him bite down as passion took over. He grinded against her, and Hermione gasped as his movement caused friction between them, making the tension in her now pulsing area worse. She slowly began moving with him, causing a beautiful rhythm between them which left them both gasping for air. They both had their eyes shut closed as they enjoyed the feeling of each other, touching every part of each other's body, kissing every inch of uncovered skin, moaning and hissing in delight.
They were so engrossed in the feeling of each other that they hadn't heard the bathroom door, and the sound of someone flushing the toilet made them jump. Ron quickly stepped backwards, entangling himself from Hermione. Hermione tried to catch her breath, feeling extremely flustered and turned on. She glanced at Ron and saw that he was looking at her, his mouth agape, biting his bottom lip. Hermione blushed and slowly got off the counter, walking towards him with wobbly legs. He flashed her a goofy grin, and she couldn't help but to giggle, something she thought she would never be able to do. Her heart didn't feel so broken anymore, Ron had filled some of the gaps with his touches and sweet words. Her tears had stopped and the hurricane in her mind has died out. He was her savior, and she would never let him go again. So she wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tightly, kissing the top of her head in the sweetest way possible. After a while Hermione looked up, and smiled her first genuine smile since the war.
"I love you too, Ronald Billius Weasley. I do now, and I will forever."