A/N. This is a little different from what I usually write and a tad out of my comfort zone, so please bear with me! DISCLAIMER: I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters. All rights go to Eric Kripke and all the other awesome talent who make Supernatural possible!
He remembers it all.
That overwhelming rush when the angel Castiel first took control of his body, mind, and spirit, a feeling of breathlessness, as if he were drowning.
Every bullet, stab wound, and the sheer agony of having your body disintegrate with the snap of ones fingers.
Teleporting from one destination to the next, like a shooting star. As romantic as that may sound, Jimmy would not recommend this any time soon. Think Mach 3, or being strapped to a comet. In a word, unsettling.
But none of those events, as horrific as they were, do not bother Jimmy Novak nearly as much as seeing Castiel possessing his daughter, his Claire Bear. Not even the pain as he slowly bleeds out on the cold cement of the warehouse floor is as painful as the possibility of his daughter enduring the same hell he has for the past year. He looks up at the blonde girl, no longer his child, but the powerful celestial being who had called his body home for twelve months.
"Please, Castiel," Jimmy begs, voice unsteady as he struggles to cling to life. He knows that he doesn't have much time. Within minutes, he will be gone…
…and so will Claire, my beautiful baby girl…
...and it will be too late. But the angel looks down at Jimmy, eyes kind, eyes that were his daughters, and yet at the same time, aren't, and Jimmy can feel his heart break. No. Please. Don't do this to her. To Amelia. Please. She smiles faintly, tells him it's time to rest…
Could I really rest knowing that my flesh and blood will be an angel's vessel, for eternity? Not an option.
"You take me." Blue eyes, already blurred as Jimmy slips into death, looking intently at the body that was once his Claire, the baby he had rocked to sleep, the little girl who had lisped childhood prayers on bended knee at the foot of her bed…
…now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep…
…the little girl he had played dress up and My Little Pony with, to the point where his friends had teased him about how he was becoming such a softie.
"You need to take me. Please…"
A strong young woman, clad in cap and gown, tossing her mortarboard into the air with the exuberance of a high school graduate with a whole new world of possibilities before her.
A beautiful bride, being led down the aisle (not by her father, but her uncle Ryan), smiling amidst the roses and babies breath at her betrothed.
Cradling a newborn in her arms, cooing as the infant's tiny hand wraps around Claire's finger.
"I want to make sure you understand," Castiel says (in Claire's voice, my baby girl). "You won't die, or age. If this last year was painful for you, picture hundreds, or thousands more like it."
"Doesn't matter…" Jimmy reaches towards the angel, each breath now a struggle, more painful than the last. He knows that he doesn't have much time. "You just take me! T-take m-me…"
For a moment, Castiel hesitates and Jimmy feels a fringe of hope. And then, the most beautiful words he has ever heard in his life, even more than when he had heard Amelia say "I do" on their wedding day, or the doctor as he called out happily, "It's a girl."
"As you wish."
And then, a light, golden and pure, warm as sunshine. That feeling of breathlessness that had overpowered him one year earlier outside their home in Pontiac, Illinois. And then, nothing.
Once again, Jimmy Novak is Jimmy no more, but Castiel, angel of the Lord.
And he couldn't be happier.