BlackLynx17: I dedicate this chapter to Midna3Niwa for giving me the idea and the Animaniacs for giving me the lines.


... SAW THE HOST!... love.


Dragon's Guide To Claim Your Mate



Another day, another chapter.

"What is it this morning Natsu?" Happy asked.

Table of Contents

Notes for Natsu... page 3-5

Chapter 1: Mate... page 6

Chapter 2: Stage 1... page 7-10

Chapter 3: Smell... page 11-13

Chapter 4: Smarts... page 14-17

"Chapter 4, Smarts" I told him.

"I think you might want to skip that chapter Natsu, smarts isn't your thing" Happy laughed.

"Whatever, shut up so I can read" I said.

"Alright, I'm going to head down to Fairy Tail first. Good luck with your... smarts" Happy grinned.

"Whatever, good riddance" I said sitting down in my chair.

Now I can actually concentrate on my reading. I opened the book to the chapter and stared at the lost list of words that looked like random scribbles.



After a quick bite to eat.

"Alright let's get this started!" I yelled replenished.

Smarts. I know smarts was the only thing I failed to teach you Natsu. That and common sense... and the alphabet... and how to tie your shoe laces... and- sorry, this is a mating book not a what I failed to teach my son book.

I closed the book and slammed it on the ground. After I started stomping on it.

"You. Are. The. Reason. Why. I. Still. Wear. Sandals. To. This. Very. Day!"

17, hitting puberty, about to have a mate and still don't know how to tie my own shoes. What a laughing stock.

"Damn it, I need to control my anger better" I sighed bending down to pick up the book.

This thing sure was sturdy, I've been throwing it around every chance I get and it still hasn't fallen apart.

"Back to mating" I said.

Now I know it would be an impossible mission for you to study up on... EVERYTHING. Hopefully your mate isn't smart either so she won't notice your dumbness.

Wrong Igneel. My mate is one of the smartest mages in Fairy Tail, and she already knows I'm an idiot.

If she's average smarts then I still think you can get away with it.

"What is he writing me?! All this junk about how smart I am compared to my mate! How I don't even know... what's that word?"

My eyes squinted as I tried to sound it out; I gave up five seconds later.

"How I don't even know how to read!" I yelled.

That's right, I didn't know how to read when I was with Igneel. Then why, why did he write this book to me if I couldn't read? Did he know I was going to learn to or?... Or what?

"That's it, time to skip some pages" I said.

I flipped the page to the next one then skimmed through the words.

I mean son really, you have to be a least a little bit smarter now than when I was raising you. How else would you be reading this book if you weren't? Another thing I forgot to teach you when we were together, how to read!

"Just rub it in Igneel, it's not like I was made fun of for not reading, oh no. It's not like I had to stay awake for 3 days because a monster had to teach me how to with no food, water, or sleep" I said calmly.

I placed the book on the table and stood up. Now seemed like a REALLY good time to take a break and go light some things on fire.

"No more breaks, I'm wasting precious time here. I need to finish this chapter" I chanted to myself.

But if Igneel said one more snippy comment about me, screw mating I going to burn the book, find him and KICK HIS ASS!

Now Natsu my boy, if you really have changed from the little kid I raised and want to study then by all means go ahead. That just means I must have done something right by raising you, if not though then I have some shortcuts on how to make yourself look smart in front of your mate. Think of it more as cutting corners or cheating.

Short cut? As long as I don't have to read and learn anything I'm in.

I've learned that humans often talk down on others to make them feel better about themselves. You would never see a Dragon doing that but for you, I think you should make an exception. This chapter's lesson is plain and simple, just outsmart someone in front of your mate and you'll look smarter in her eyes.

"Outsmart... someone... in my guild" I said.

Well that shouldn't be pretty hard since we were all idiots, excluding the girls. I don't know why but girls are just always smarter than us guys... when it comes to useless junk. Now in fighting and combat and eating! Us guys are the geniuses! Yes!

Outsmarting a person can mean a number of things, I'll name the simplest ones though. You could go out in a group to fight some monsters or bad people, whatever. Let someone else suggest a plan of action then you come up with a better one! *Note- Your battle plan must be better than the other battle plan or else you will come out looking stupider.

I never came up with plans, it was always fist first. Even when we needed one Erza or Lucy would also come up with them. If Lucy suggested a plan and I suggested a better one, impossible, then wouldn't that just make her feel stupid?

Another way to seem smart is to cease interacting with a person who make you feel inferior or stupid, or in other words, stop hanging around with stupid people and start hanging out with the smart ones. It-

I stopped reading right there. Like I thought before, Fairy Tail is filled with stupid people. There was no one I could hang out with that's in a smart group, other than the girls.

Another trick would be hanging around really dumb people, making you look like the smartest in the group. I'm highly against this one since it'll make your mate wonder why your hanging around stupid people, but hey. Just think of it as a last resort.

"Or a first" I mumbled.

So far, that was the best sounding one.

Lastly, this one might be your favorite, try using humor as a success tool. I learned this trick from humans, as idiotic and primitive as they might be, they do have their spot lights every now and then. Now I'm sure you've seen this but humans who think they are a whole lot smarter than other humans get annoyed when they are being rebuked or laughed at. In other words play them at their own game; start a VERBAL fight with a person in front of your mate. If you win, this is a good way to make your mate stop in her tracks and take you seriously.

*Note- When I say VERBAL I mean words Natsu. WORDS! NOT FISTS!



"Way to draw faces Igneel, whatever. I guess I'll give the verbal fight a try since it had the word fight in it" I said.

And I knew just who to use it on too.

"FULLBUSTER!" I yelled.

Gray looked up from his spot towards me; he smirked and stood up, heading towards me. I started walking towards him too, we both met in the middle of the guild. I noticed Lucy sitting on the bar next to Mira and Cana, good. She was here, now to prove my smarts.

"I think I owe you from yesterday Fullbuster" I told him.

"You think? Wow I'm surprised someone like you can think let alone form a sentence" Gray said.

And the verbal fight was on.

"Wow, the last time I saw a mouth that big it had a fish hook in it" I said.

Some of the guild members laughed. Gray eyes widened and his mouth dropped a little.

"Yup, exactly like that. Picture perfect" I smirked.

"Well that's pretty funny coming from a boy that looks like a demented dragon" Gray said.

"You know you could talk your head off all day and never miss it."

"Is that your face or did you block a kick?"

"There's a train leaving in a few minutes, why don't you be under it?" I responded.

A giggle, a light giggle that sounded like my favorite thing in the world, fire crackling. My eyes trailed back and I saw Lucy holding her hand over her mouth, her eyes clearly showed amusement though. This was working, it was actually working.

"Why don't you be on it?!" Gray resorted.

As threatening as that sounded, that was a pretty lame comeback. I must be winning!

"I guess you're one of those mighty brains, mighty empty!" I smiled.

"To bad the closest you'll ever come to a brain storm is a light drizzle."

"You know you could make a fortune renting your head out as a balloon."

"You couldn't even count to twenty without taking off your sandals!"

"Does your face hurt Gray?" I asked.

Gray paused and blinked at me. I think he was caught off guard at my sudden interest in his health. He took a deep breath and answered.

"No, why?"

"Because it's killing me!"

Laughs, they were clear now. I had these people laughing in the palm of my hands! Good bye idiot Natsu, hello smart one.

"Is that your face or did you accidently place your pants on the wrong end?" Gray asked.

I caught on fire.


Gray held one hand to his head as he started laughing. That was a low blow Gray, even for you. Now Lucy would know that story and by the look of the smile on her face, she wasn't going to forget it anytime soon.

"At least I know how to wear clothes unlike you, Mr. Naked" I smirked.

"Huh?" Gray asked and looked down.

He was currently in his underwear. This whole fight we were battling while he was in his briefs.

"What?! Not again?!" Gray yelled looking around for his clothes.

Winner: Natsu! Because the opponent left the premises to find some clothes!

Lucy had a huge smile on her face, she held onto the bar counter while she laughed. I walked up to my partner and sat on the stool next to her.

"Natsu! Hahaha, that was so funny!" she laughed grabbing a hold onto my shoulder.

Oh no, here comes the flames... or not. She was touching me, and I wasn't lighting up. Cool! Maybe I've outgrown it.

"I never knew you were so smart, those comebacks were priceless" Lucy continues laughing.

Smart? Smart! She said the word of the day! Chapter 4 was a success, nice job me.

"You have to, you got to do that again!" Lucy said.

Ping. It felt like something just went off inside me. My legs stood up and started moving on their own even though I told myself I wanted to stay by Lucy and hear her compliment my smartness.

"Natsu? Where are you going?!" Lucy called out.

"To find Gray and do it again!" I answered.

The words came out automatically; I had no say over them. What was happening? Why was I listening to what Lucy told me to do? I couldn't stop moving, I just kept following Gray's scent.

"You better be dressed when I find you Gray" I moaned running.

Chapter 4 was a success but something weird happened after it, for once in my life-

I actually obeyed what Lucy Heartfilia told to me do.