AN The idea for this one shot came about from a post on Tumblr a while back can't rememeber who posted it but if anyone knows let me know and i'll give them credit for it. And a Special Thanks goes out to my Beta DMarx. As always don't forget to leave a review :)
Disclaimer- If I owned Castle then i'd be living in a beach house in southern California instead of living with my parents.
She sat perched on the edge of her desk, studying the murder board attentively. The boys were out chasing down a lead and her eyes gravitated down to his empty chair. It had been three weeks. Three weeks since Alexis had been kidnapped, three weeks since Castle had gone to Paris and Kate had feared she would never see him again. Three weeks since he had come back with his daughter safe and sound. She had spent the night with him that first night, she hadn't planned on it but he had pleaded with her to stay so she had obliged. But she had not seen him since, deciding to give him some space and some time with Alexis alone. She had called him several times to check on Alexis and see how he was doing.
The ding of the elevator brought her out of the haze of her thoughts. She looked up, surprised to see him, and she couldn't stop the wide smile that swept across her face.
"I was getting on Alexis' nerves so she practically begged me to come here this morning." He said with a chuckle.
"How's she doing?"
The smile quickly faded from his lips, he released a long, drawn out sigh, "She says she's fine but…" his voice trails off as he lowers his head.
Kate tilted her head to the side, her brow furrowed, "But?" she asks.
He shakes his head slowly, finally looking up at her and she can see the worry in his eyes, he plopped down into his chair and continues, "She just stays up in her room, she hardly sleeps anymore, and last night I woke up to the sounds of her screaming...Kate she hasn't had a nightmare since she was a little girl."
"Have you tried talking to her?"
"Yeah, but she won't talk to me. Every time I try to get her to talk to me she just storms off. I don't understand what's wrong, why she won't talk to me," he said, with a defeated sigh as his gaze returns to the floor.
She took his hands in hers, "Castle it's not you…I'll tell you what I'll come over tonight and I'll talk to her. Okay?"
He looks up at her "What makes you think she'll talk to you when she won't talk to me?"
"Because I…I know what she's going through," Kate says quietly, ducking her head down and getting up. She grabbed her coffee cup and headed for the break room.
The day went by rather fast after Castle's appearance; they caught a break and apprehended their suspect and had him in the box by three. By five, the suspect had confessed to doing the deed and now there was only paperwork to be done. Castle had already headed home to cook dinner while Kate finished the last bit of paperwork. As she filed away the last form, she grabbed her coat and left.
The loft smelled great as she entered. Castle greeted her with a kiss and a glass of wine as he took her coat and placed in the coat closet by the door. They made their way to the table, joining Alexis and Martha, who were already seated. After dinner Alexis went up to her room and Martha headed out for the evening leaving Castle and Beckett alone.
"Well, I guess I should head upstairs and talk with her," Beckett said, downing the last bit of wine in her glass.
"You want me to go with you?" he asked.
"No I think its best I talk to her alone."
She made her way up the stairs, rapped on Alexis's door, and peeked inside. Alexis sat curled up on her bed with her legs drawn up in front of her, her arms wrapped around her legs and her forehead pressed to her knees.
"Hey, can I come in?" she asked giving the young woman a small smile
Alexis looked up, gave Kate a weak smile. "I guess." she replied shrugging her shoulders.
Kate made her way inside. "How are you?" she asked as she took a seat in the chair next to Alexis' bed.
Alexis smiled. "Dad sent you up here didn't he? Figured since I won't talk to him I might talk to you? Well you can go back downstairs and tell him I'm fine and to stop worrying."
"Your dad didn't send me up here. I came up here because I figured you could use someone to talk to who knows what you're going through."
"There's nothing to talk about. I'm fine, really."
Kate chewed on her bottom lip, choosing her words carefully, "Look Alexis, it's ok to admit that you're not ok. What you went through-"
"Don't!" she sneered, "Don't act like you know what I went through because you don't have any idea what I went through." She got up off the bed and walked over to the window, crossing her arms across her chest as she stared out the window at the city below.
Kate grew quiet for a moment, she lowered her head before speaking again. "You're right." she began, tone soft but firm. "I don't know what you went through but I do know what you're going through now." She stopped and looked over at Alexis who, turned towards her, a look of puzzlement on her face. Kate continued, "After I was shot, every loud noise, every glint off of a window, would send me right back to that cemetery. When I slept I'd find myself right back in that cemetery, reliving every moment…sometimes I would wake up and I could still feel the pain of that bullet burning through my chest. After a while I started doing anything I could not to sleep because it was the only way I could escape it."
Silence grew between the two women. Alexis lowered her head concentrating on the floor, and after a moment she finally spoke.
"Did the nightmares ever stop?"
"Eventually," she replied, nodding her head.
"So what helped you?"
"Talking about." she watched as Alexis rolled her eyes at that. "Listen, I know that's the last thing you want to do, I know that you want to move on with your life, pretend it didn't happen. But the first step in healing is accepting what happened."
Alexis moved over and sat on the edge of the bed, her eyes drifted closed, she was tired. Tired of keeping up this facade that she was fine, when the truth was she wasn't. She hadn't been since the kidnapping. Opening her eyes again she said quietly, "I can't even sleep without a light on."
"And that's okay." Kate stood and crossed the room to sit next to Alexis on the bed, wrapping her left arm around the young girl. "I'm going to be honest with you; you're not going to get over this in a day or a week, it's going to take time and it's going to be hard at times. But don't make the same mistake I did. You don't have to go through this alone. There are people out there who love you, and want to help you. So let them help you."
Alexis wiped away the tears that were running down her cheeks, turning to hug Kate as Kate rubbed the girl's back soothingly. After a moment, Alexis pulled apart and looked into Kate's eyes. "Thank you." she quietly said.
Kate smiled. "If you need to talk, you can call me day or night okay?" Alexis nodded as Kate pulled out a card from the pocket of her jeans and held it out. Alexis took the card. "This is the name and number of my therapist and I really think you should give him a call." Alexis nodded once again and the two women hugged and then Kate headed downstairs where she found Castle pacing at the bottom of the stairs.
He stopped when he heard her. Looking up he asked, "Well?"
She smiled. "With some time she'll be okay. I gave her the name of my therapist, told her she should give him a call. "
"This uh…this therapist of yours, he any good?"
"He fixed me didn't he?" She said with a smirk trying to ease his worry which seemed to work as the worried frown on his face grew into a small smile, she turned and headed for the kitchen.
She stopped and turned back to face him. "For what?"
"For helping Alexis."
She smiled. "Always,"