It's so dark here. . .
So cold and lonely without you.
I'm forced to stay up every night without your fragile body to hold and protect from the world.
I miss you. . .
Miss your beautiful glass like eyes. Your soft, silky hair. Those tender plush lips that would brush up against mine shyly.
I miss the way your face would light up bright red when I slid my finger tips over your pale skin. The way you'd only show your emotions around me and no one else.
Your true colors were only for me. . .That's what you always told me.
But, now I will never get to share any of those happy moments with you.
You remember when I told you I had something important to tell you? And you told me to wait until we got back from that damned mission.
Of course you don't remember, because you're not here any more. You're six feet underground.
Never to smile again when I tell you how much I love you. Now I'll never be able to ask you to be mine forever. . .Never to show you my true feelings.
Why did you leave me? Didn't you love me too? Why didn't you see that attack coming? Why didn't you hear me screaming your name? Why didn't you see my tears hit the ground?
I think the one thing that upsets me most was that I wasn't able to say goodbye. By time I reached your motionless body it was too late.
You were gone.
It was a selfish thing of you to do; leave me alone to grieve over you. All this pain you caused me. . it's almost as if you hated me or something.
So now I'm laying here, alone, forgotten, broken. Nothing is real to me any more. Only the thought of your bloody body in my arms resides in my mind.
My sight is blinded by tears. My hands are dirtied in my own blood. And yet. . . I don't feel anything but your absence.
See? Not even the one thing that causes my mind to slip away is as bad as what your death as caused.
I don't have that face splitting grin on my features any more. My messed up hair is only messier now that I pulled at it in a fit of anger.
I'm screaming now. I can't hear myself, but I know I am screaming. My lungs feel like they are going to collapse. I can't feel anything any more. My body is numb. My eyes are closed so tight I feel as though my eye lids will rip in half.
I can't see. Can't hear. Can't feel anything but my heart clutching in agony. The pain of losing you has affected me more than I thought.
But I have a feeling I am going to be seeing you again soon enough.
Wait for me. . .My love.