Not Exhausted

A/N- So I wrote this between series three and four… just passing the time. Hopefully a little funny. I wanted to see if I could write something that was dialogue in its entirety. This happened. Please let me know your exact thoughts! Constructive criticism welcome! I want to know if it's confusing at all! I pictured them in a group on some long journey (think the 'describe "dollop-head"' scene in Tears of Uther Pendragon pt. 1). Merlin is the first to speak.

"I should think that after a certain point you'd acknowledge how exhausted you are."

"I'm not exhausted."

"You haven't been sleeping properly."

"How would you know so much about that?"

"You can't get anything past me."


"I'm serious."

"Of course you are."

"You should pay as much attention to yourself as I do. Maybe then you'd realize how loudly you toss and turn all night."

"I do no- you're hearing things."

"That's what I'm trying to say. I'm always within a few feet of you when you're talking in your sleep- believe me; I hear things."

"If- Wh- ugh. Shut up, Merlin."

"Yes, sire."

"…What do I say? …Answer me, Merlin!"

"You ordered me to shut up."

"And now I'm ordering you to speak- never thought this day would come. But since you're so keen to tell me, what is it that I say?"

"Oh. Nothing. Things about Gwen. Things about Morgana. Some nonsense about being the best warrior in Camelot."

"I'm surprised that-"

"Oh, I was too. But I have it for a fact now- your ego doesn't sleep. You never give it a rest."

"-I'm surprised that I say so much, and that an idiot like you is able to make it out."

"Arthur, I'm protesting about that. I'm much smarter than you give me credit for."

"Is that so."

"I'd not've said it if it wasn't true."

"Merlin, I'm going to ask you to name one thing- just one thing that you've done right in the past… five days?"

"Well… I managed to put you on quite nicely."

"Merlin! You will apologize to me right now, or I'll have you in the stocks."

"Alright, sorry, sire- but it is true though. You're aren't getting enough sleep."

"That doesn't make me exhausted."

"And you do talk about Gwen and Morgana."

The End