(A/N- yeah, this is completely unoriginal and has been totally overused, but ya know what? If don't care. I just got Lord of The Rings on DVD, and I fell in love with it. No, I haven't read the books, but I'm planning on getting them cause the movie's so awsome, and books are generally cooler than the movies based on 'em. Anyway....if you like my telling of the got- sucked-into-LoTR scenario, tell me, and if you don't, bite me, cause I like it just fine.)

This was creepy. I had fallen asleep on the couch in my house. I had just woken up in a forest. I do not live in a forest. Therefore, my current situation would have been perfect cause for a huge ass anxiety attack if I had not remembered to take my medication the day before.

"Okay," I said to myself as my blood proceeded to run cold and I lost feeling in my legs. Oh, I was having an anxiety attack alright, but it would have been much worse had my medicine not been in my system. I have an anxiety disorder, by the way. Most people don't know what that is, but I've got one; I get the same out-of-body feeling that someone who's high on drugs gets. I have never understood why someone would actually want that feeling. It's not fun.

"Calm down, girl," I said, taking deep breaths. "You're just dreaming. Go back to sleep. Mom'll wake you up any minute for horseback lessons. Just chill and go back to-" Oh shit. Now there was something sharp poking me in the back of the head. This was not a dream; this was a nightmare. A voice said something in a strange language. It sounded familiar, though, kinda like Celtic, but different... By the guy's tone, it sounded like he was asking me a question. Yeah, point a weapon at me from behind and THEN ask me something. Wherever I was, the people didn't have manners. I kept very still, hoping he would just go away and not kill me.

"What are you doing here?" That I understood.

"Hoping you don't kill me," I replied honestly. My assailant snorted and took the thing away from my head.

"Stand up," he ordered. I complied. Normally I wouldn't have, but this guy had sharp pointy things, and I couldn't see him, so I didn't know if I could take him down or not. I don't care what my mom says, if someone is seven feet tall and weighs several hundred pounds, no amount of well- used Hap Ki Do techniques from a fourteen-year-old kid who stands 5'5" are gonna take him out. It's a law of physics.

"Turn around." I surveyed my surroundings, looking for anything I could use. There was a big stick that could pass as a longbar, but that was about it. It would have to do. I kicked the stick up into my hands and whirled around to face him. My jaw dropped.

"Holy shit!" I yelled. "You're Cute Elf Guy!" Okay, so technically his name was supposed to be Legolas, but I called him Cute Elf Guy because it annoyed my family when we watched Lord of The Rings. Cute Elf Guy gave me a weird look.

"Who are you?" he demanded, probably assuming that I was insane. He wouldn't have been very far from the truth.

"I'm-" I stopped. My name was Bess, but nobody here knew that. "I'm Raven," I said, using the name my mom had called me when I first dyed my hair black. "Raven Silverwing. How's it hanging, Legolas?" He gave me a weirder look.

"How do you know my name?"

"I'm a clairvoyant," I joked.

"Truly?" Oh crap, he believed me?

"Uh...yeah," I replied. Better to tell a small lie than to have him shoot me. Besides, I'd seen the movie, I knew what would happen. I could prevent things! I could stop Pippin from doing stupid crap, I could keep Boromir from croaking...I could do LOTS of stuff! That ruled!


"If you do not mind my asking, Lady Raven," my hot new elven companion began, "why are you dressed so strangely?" He was, of course, referring to the dark blue nail polish, the black eye makeup, the silver jewelry, the black jeans, the blue hair clip-ins, and the black tank top that said 'FEAR ME' in big letters across my chest.

"Well, Elfy," I said, "it's 'cause I'm a punk chick."

"What is a 'punk chick'?" he asked. Oh yeah, they didn't have punk rock in Middle Earth.

"Me," I answered simply. "I'm also a level two Reiki practitioner," I added proudly. Well, I was.

"What is Reiki?"

"It's a form of energy healing."

"You are a healer?"


"Then you must come with me to the-"

"Council in Rivendell? Love to, babe," I said. *I'm gonna be in the Fellowship of the Ring,* I sang inside my head. *Shibby!*

(A/N- well guys? Whattdya think? Review if you like it, but if you don't like it, just don't read it anymore. Flames make me angry.)