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C.

------------------------------

Akane woke and stretched, happily groaning as she pulled all
the kinks out of her muscles.

*Hmm... worn out this morning. Hips are kinda sore. Must have
worked out extra hard yesterday,* she thought as she relaxed and
scratched at her side.

Actually, her hips were *really* sore, Akane thought to her
self.

"Oh yeah. I had my ankles back behind my head last night," she
remembered.

Groggily, her hair sticking up in wild array, Akane swung her
legs over the side of her bed and began to make her way to the door,
pausing briefly to step over the snoring lump on her floor.

"Nnn..." Akane greeted Nabiki as the two met in the hall. She
wondered why her sister was giving her those odd looks, but ignored
them in favor of making her way directly down the stairs and to the
furo.

Did Nabiki have a black eye?

She stopped in the changing room briefly, and giggled at her
hair in the mirror before taking off the red Chinese shirt she
was...

Uhoh.

Sore hips.

Snoring lump in bedroom floor.

Red Chinese shirt.

Akane's happy expression cracked slightly. Slowly,
ponderously, one petite hand reached down under the hem of the
shirt.

"No panties..." Akane breathed, a sick grin still stuck on her
face. She probed with her fingers...

...And came up sticky.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

------------------------------
Akane the Queen : Nine Inches of Passion Spice

a Lemon-Lime Spritzer by
Chris Jones
------------------------------

"I see you had a good time last night," Nabiki mumbled as she
made her way into the changing room.

"Nonononononononononnononononononononono..."

Nabiki grimaced at her reflection in the mirror. She grimaced
at the black eye that was still mostly swelled shut and made an
ineffectual attempt to get her hair to lay down.

Akane simply ran out of the room, screaming.

* * *

Watching the screaming girl run through the tea-room to the
stairs clad in only one of Ranma's red shirts, Genma grinned evilly
and clinked the rim of his tea-cup against Soun's.

Soun nodded his head and downed the breakfast tea in one
hearty gulp.

Kasumi glared darkly at the both of them while Nodoka was
making up a list of appropriate baby-names.

* * *

Ranma awoke groggily at the girl's screams and tried to blink
the sleep out of his eyes. He sat up just in time to see the door
swing open and Akane's heaving figure staring at him with a wild
expression.

"Mornin'," he mumbled, trying to figure out why he was so
exhausted.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Akane screamed, running away from the door. The
door slammed against the frame but bounced back.

"What'd I do this time?" Ranma blinked again. "Hey, what am I
doin' in her room?"


* * *


Nabiki finished brushing her teeth and rinsed. When she came
back up from the sink, Akane was in her face, breathing heavily.

"How?!?!" the younger girl demanded. "When?!?!" The, more
seriously, with a glint of fury in her eyes, "Who? And how did you
get a black eye?"

"Ah... Awake at last, I see," Nabiki noted. "I'll tell you,
but first you have to tell me what it was like."

Akane felt a goofy grin forming on her face. "Oh, about nine
inches long and as hard as---" Akane covered her mouth in horror as
her face turned a bright pink color.

"Heh," Nabiki chuckled, and clutched at her sides. She winced
at the movement, letting Akane know that the black eye was probably
just the most superficial of her injuries. "As for my present
condition, it was Ukyou. Between us, we royally... ahem... *screwed*
her plans last night, and she felt the need to take her anger out on
somebody, and you were... heh, *unavailable*. Oh, I'll be billing
*her* tomorrow, I tell you!"

Akane shook her head, trying to clear her mind. The details of
the previous evening were blurry in some respects, but some things,
now that she remembered she had done them, were frightfully clear.
all nine inches of them.

"You better start at the beginning, Nabiki," Akane said,
collapsing to the floor in disbelief.

"Well, it was Shampoo's grandmother's passion spice again..."

* * *

"It getting too too dangerous!" Shampoo said, staring at the
okonomiyaki chef over her grill. "Violent girl no break up with
husband even after wedding go boom!"

"I'll say," Ukyou agreed as she was irritably scrubbing her
grill. "That was a sure thing!"

"Maybe Ranma-sama and Akane-sama have stronger feelings that
we expected," Konatsu suggested hopefully.

"Ranma's too shy," Ukyou ignored her wait-person completely.
"He just needs a little prompting. Just a little push. Hmmm..."

"What spatula-girl thinking?" the purple-haired delivery girl
asked.

"Maybe if we got him drunk..." Ukyou mused aloud. "Alcohol
loosens the tongue. If we got him just rip-roaring-fall-down
toasted, he might finally be able to admit that he really loves me."

"Airen love Shampoo!" the amazon countered. "Ranma get drunk
on sake, say he love Shampoo!"

"Urr... sometimes people say things they don't mean when
they're intoxicated," Konatsu suggested, busy trying to keep Ukyou
from scrubbing away the entire top layer of steel off the grill.

Ukyou deflated. "That's true. My father said that he was the
emperors's brother once. He only had a few bottles in him at the
time."

Shampoo scowled and leaned over the counter, her head resting
on her arms. "Maybe..."

"What?"

"Well. No good. Try before and no work."

"Out with it, China-girl," Ukyou growled.

"Passion spice. Make people very... excited. Never seem to
work right. Always give to wrong person or..."

Ukyou caught fire, the heat of her pure heart lighting up the
room. "But we *will* give it to the right person, Shampoo!" Ukyou
declared. "Between the two of us, we can arrange things so that
Ranma gets a hearty dose of the spice. If we're both there, then
he'll have no choice but to admit who he really loves!" *Me!!!!*
she declared to herself.

Then Ukyou caught fire, the gas heating element exposed as she
finally scrubbed all the way through the grill. The sleeve of her
shirt charred and ignited. Ukyou waved it around in a panic while
Konatsu tried to extinguish the flame with his own body.

*Me!!!* Shampoo thought, smirking at the flaming chef. "Okay!
We do it. We make new food and put Passion Spice in!"

"Owowowowowwo!" Ukyou bellowed, beating her arm against
Konatsu to put out the fire.

"I get Airen for sure! Hahahaha!"

* * *

"Delivery!"

"Oh, who's there?" Kasumi asked.

"It Shampoo! Have new kind of ramen for Airen to try!"

"It's Ukyou! I have a new kind of okonomiyaki for Ran-chan to
sink his teeth into."

"Oh, my!" Ukyou let both girls in the kitchen door.
"Okonomiyaki *and* Ramen! Just what I was already making for
dinner."

"You don't say," Ukyou muttered.

"We'll have plenty to go around, then!" Kasumi declared. Why
don't you just put it over there and--"

"Okay. Shampoo put special hmpphh!!!!"

"Heh," Ukyou chuckled, clutching her hand over Shampoo's
mouth. "We'll just leave them over here. They're only for Ran-chan,
though, okay?"

Kasumi's expression dimmed somewhat. To those that knew her,
this was a full fledged Kasumi-glare, and it couldn't be dodged
lightly.

Ukyou began to giggle nervously under the onslaught.
"Ahahaha!"

"You two didn't do anything naughty to the food did you?"
Kasumi asked sweetly in a tone that would not be ignored.

Shampoo's eyes widened in horror. "Err... No!"

"They won't explode like last time will they?"

"Absolutely not!" Ukyou defended. "Well, you could explode
them, if you happened to have a handy stick of cordite laying around
but--- Nevermind! These Oknomiyaki--"

"Ramen" Shampoo volunteered.

"--Okonomiyaki are designed to be eaten! Not to do demolition
with!"

"Ramen."

"So which is it? okonomiyaki or ramen?" Kasumi asked.

"Okonomiyaki!"

"Ramen!"

"Rokonomiyaiken!" Ukyou declared, opening the lids on their
boxes, displaying their new confection. Indeed what was inside was a
thick, noodle soup with mini-okonomiyaki dumplings floating prettily
just on top of the soup.

"Ara! How delightful!" Kasumi exclaimed. "May I taste?"

"Noooo! Kasumi no taste this!!!!" Shampoo screamed. "Here
ah... ah..."

Ukyou grabbed one of the other boxes and handed it to Shampoo.
"This one's good!"

The amazon breathed a sigh of relief and handed it to the
eldest Tendou daughter. "This one for nice-nice girl," Shampoo said,
her chest heaving.

Kasumi produced a pair of chopsticks and lifted a mini-
okonomiyaki dumpling from the broth and blew on it ever so gently.
She popped in her mouth and smiled broadly. "Why, how exquisite! I'm
certain that Ranma will love this!"

"He should," Ukyou said, glaring at the floor.

"What?"

"Heh! Nothing...!"

Shampoo dragged Ukyou away from the situation by ear. "How you
do that?" Shampoo demanded.

Ukyou breathed a sigh of relief and held a jar. "I thought
something like this might happen, so I didn't put any of the passion
spice in yet. Your grandmother also gave me an antidote to the
spice, just in case."

"So Kasumi get one bowl?"

Ukyou nodded. "That means there are only two left."

"Very very bad! We have to conserve food. Very bad if Airen no
eat!"

"I know," Ukyou admitted. "Still, better safe than sorry, ne?"

"Better not work with moron and get burn!" Shampoo growled.
"We work now. Spatula-girl no mess up again!"

"Who messed up?"

"Dinner's ready!" Kasumi shouted.

* * *

"Look, is Godzilla." Shampoo pointed out the window as the
Tendous at down to eat. "Mercenary-girl have camera?"

"Where?" Nabiki demanded, her hands reaching into the pocket
on her overalls for her micro-35mm. There was the standing 100,000
yen reward from the Tokyo Enquirer for a real photo of the Monster
Who Ate Tokyo to think of.

Ukyou took the opportunity Shampoo's distraction offered to
lean over and season Ranma's bowl of rokonomiyakiken.

"Mmm! This looks really good!" Ranma said after the group had
failed to watch the Green Menace materialize on the Tokyo skyline.

Akane 'hmphed' and turned her nose up at Ranma and the other
girls.

"Just a second, boy!" Genma said, reaching out with his
chopsticks. He snagged one of the dumplings from Ranma's bowl and
proceeded to pop it into his own mouth. "You can't try a new kind of
food without offering some to your old man!"

Ukyou's eyes widened in horror. She dropped her chopsticks and
covered her mouth in abject fear.

Shampoo leaned over and began sneezing. She held her fist up
to her face. The net effect was that the girl 'sneezed' a fine
coating of golden powder, the Passion Spice antidote, directly into
Genma's face.

"That kind of behavior spreads germs, you know," Soun noted as
he munched another one of Ranma's dumplings.

"Achoo! Achoo! Excuse Shampoo," Shampoo sneezed into Soun's
face. "Hope Shampoo isn't contagious."

"Some people have *no* manners," Nabiki noted, eating the bowl
of rokonomiyakiken.

"Aiya!"

Ukyou's jaw dropped again. "Where'd you--"

"I owed her," Ranma admitted. "Actually, I still owe here.
That's for the hot kettle before yearbook pictures last month."

"This is pretty good. Oh, my," Nabiki undid the top two
buttons on her blouse. "Is it warm in here, or is it just me?"

"Here!" Ukyou held out a glass of antidote-spiked soda. "This
should cool you off! I hope! Compliments of Ucchan's!"

"Why thank you, Ukyou!" To the chef's relief, Nabiki downed
almost the entire glass of soda before resuming eating. To the
chef's relief, Nabiki also refastened one button after realizing how
much cleavage she had just exposed.

"Shampoo be right back!" The amazon rushed into the kitchen
and grabbed another bowl of the new concoction. She paused to
sprinkle Passion Spice liberally over the dumplings. She hopped out
of the kitchen and placed the bowl squarely in front of Ranma. "This
one *just* for Airen. No repay debts or give away, okay?!" she said
in a threatening tone.

"O-okay," Ranma began to dig into the bowl.

Shampoo turned back to smirk at Ukyou, just in time to see a
silent, "NOOOO!!!" die on the chef's lips.

"What?"

"Akane ate the rest of Nabiki's ramen, and I'm out of
antidote!" Ukyou shouted.

"Antidote?" Soun asked in a panic.

"I only ate one dumpling," Akane squeaked. "I was just
curious."

"WAAH! My little girl's been poisoned!" Soun wailed.

"No!" Shampoo disagreed. "It infinitely worse than that!
"Akane get Passion Spice. Ranma too! Shampoo no have antidote
either!"

"Hmmm?" Ranma asked, finishing off his bowl of
rokonomiyakiken. "Hrmmm... Spice? Mmmm... " He blinked and smiled
widely. His ears had turned red and his eyes seemed to have turned a
nice shade of orange. Shampoo happened to cross his field of vision
as he looked around. "Heya, Shampoo!"

Akane's left eye twitched, but then it began to turn orange as
well.

"This chance!" Shampoo exclaimed, grabbing Ranma's face with
both hand. "You tell Shampoo you love, yes?"

"No, you hussy! He loves me!" Ukyou leaped over the table and
punted Shampoo out the open shoji. She grabbed Ranma's hands and
clasped them close to her chest. "Right Ranchan? You love me?"

"Hurrr..." Ranma began breathing heavily and his pupils
visibly dilated. "Oooh. Ucchan..."

"Yes, Ranchan?"

"Ucchan..."

"Ranchan?"

"Hey, look at Akane's tits, Ucchan! Don't you think they've
gotten bigger in the last few months?"

"Ranma, you jerk!" Ukyou slapped him back and forth, leaving
his head spinning. "What about *my* tits?"

"Ukyou," Akane warned, visibly shaking. "I think you better
leave. We all need to calm down and... and... kiss Ranma's... I mean
get over what ever you and Shampoo put in... Oh, my!"

"Now if you really want to talk about great breasts," Ranma
noted, "my girl side is pretty hot. She's not around right now, but
that's okay."

"Ranma!"

"Airen quit talking about other girl's breasts!" Shampoo
screamed as she ran back up to the table, bouncing like only an
Amazon could. "Talk about Shampoo breast instead."

"Ya knoww..." Ranma's speech was starting to become slurred.
"Ish w-w-w-eird, but... but..." Ranma shook his head. "The besh
breshs are... are... pert..."

"Shampoo pert!"

"Ucchan pert too, Ranchan!" The chef countered as she got back
to her feet. "You want Ucchan!"

"... and firm... I want?"

"Yes?!?!" Both girls demanded

"He wants me, you hussies, so take off!" Akane launched
herself at Ranma, locking her wrists and ankles around his neck.
"Don't you, Ranma-baka? Tee hee!"

"A-a-a-ak-ak--"

"That's right, they're there for you to squeeze. Nice and
firm, huh? Not like flabby Shampoo's." Akane giggled cutely.

"Oh my!" Kasumi's hands went to her mouth in shock. "Akane!
You shouldn't!"

"You go, sis!" Nabiki cheered. "Even if it is the spice..."

Soun and Genma were in tears. "Oh, happy day, Tendou. Our
families will be united at last!"

"My little girl is growing up so quickly," Soun wailed. "Make
your father proud, Akane!"

"Sure thing, Daddy!" Akane reached down. "Ooh! Looks like
Ranma-baka's up to the task!"

"Aaaakannneee---" Ranma groaned. That was the last legible
word he managed to utter.

"Mmm... Squeeze harder, Ranma! I *like* it when you're rough!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Shampoo screamed. She pulled out a sword and
lifted Akane's chin with it. "Shampoo kill pervert-girl now."

Akane began to sweat in nervousness (and arousal).

"Get in line, Sugar!" Ukyou shouted. "Sorry, Akane. You've had
this comin' for a while. Get her!"

"Yipe!" Akane leapt from Ranma's arms and ran through the
house. Shampoo and Ukyou trampled across Ranma to get to her. Ranma,
not noticing the crushing steps, hopped to his feet and looked
forlornly after Akane. "Aaaa...."

Nabiki looked down and noted the tent that had sprung up in
Ranma's loose canvas pants.

"Wow! You better get going, Ranma. Ukyou and Shampoo might get
more for they bargain for if they attack Akane right now."

Ranma grunted and nodded. Adjusting himself, he loped off
after the three girls. He found the trio upstairs at the end of the
hallway. Ukyou and Shampoo had Akane cornered with their bladed
weapons.

"Huuuu..." Ranma warned, batting the two girls away with
barely a thought. "Kaaa..."

"Oh, Ranma!" Akane moaned, collapsing into the martial
artist's unthinking embrace.

"Ranma, you come away from girl right now!" Shampoo cried,
striking Ranma over the head with a bonbori. Ranma shrugged off the
blow and turned around to stare stupidly at the amazon. "Hurrrr?"

"Run, Akane!" Nabiki suggested from the other end of the
hallway. Ranma can take care of himself."

Akane nodded and leapt over the other two girls. She ran down
the hall and blew a kiss to her fiancee as she grabbed Nabiki. "Bai-
bai! I'll catch up with you later, Ranma-bakaaaa!"

"Urrhhh!"

"Shampoo! You go kill Akane," Ukyou said in a reasonable tone.
"I'll stay here and make sure that Ranma stays out of trouble."

"Good plan. I kill Akane now!"

Ukyou waited until Shampoo had vaulted down the stairs to
start laughing. She reached out and grabbed Ranma's hand and began
to lead him to the guest room. "Ohh, gotta keep you out of trouble,
Sugar. I think I know of a few ways."

"Urrr?"

Shampoo skidded to a halt at the bottom of the stairway once
she realized what she had done and charged right back up the stairs
just before Ukyou managed to drag Ranma into the room. "YOU NO TRICK
SHAMPOO LIKE THAT!!!!"

"I wouldn't dream of tricking you, Shampoo! I was just going
to take care of Ranma while you took care of Akane."

"Shampoo know *exactly* what 'take care of' mean!"

"Well, we have him alone now," Ukyou said. "Why don't we ask
him who he really loves?"

"That right! Who Airen love?"

"Urrr..." Ranma looked back and forth between the two girls
and began to sweat.

"Say you love me, Ranchan!"

"Say you love Shampoo!"

"RRrrrr...." Ranma growled, clearly lost in indecision. The
beast that currently inhabited Ranma's intellect knew that while the
two in front of him were indeed lovely, he would have to pick one.
There was also the memory of bluish-black hair and temperamental
pink lips causing havoc in his super-aroused mind.

Ranma was frozen, unable to decide.

"He's completely non-verbal," Nabiki said, climbing back up
the stairs. "You'll have to eliminate some of the competition before
he'll be able to perform. For the low, low price of only 5000 yen
apiece, I'll watch him and you two can go *eliminate* Akane."

"How we know Nabiki no take advantage of Ranma?"

"He's my brother-in-law! Seriously. Now, pony up..."

Both girls reached into their pockets and paid the girl.

Nabiki quickly counted through the wrinkled notes pointed down
stairs. "Akane's headed in the direction of the high-school. If you
hurry, you can catch her."

The two girls ran down the stairs and out of the house. They
ran headlong towards the school. Furinkan was actually in sight when
Ukyou actually cleared her head long enough to realize what Nabiki
had said.

"Oh no..."

"What? What?" Shampoo demanded.

Ukyou grit her teeth in ire. *He's my brother-in-law*, Nabiki
had said.

"Spatula girl know something," Shampoo said, shaking the
chef's shoulders. "Give!"

Ukyou bit down her gall and faced the amazon directly. "I
don't think that Akane would hide at the school. It's too open...
Akane's too wily for that. She's a tough girl like that. Maybe..."

"Maybe what?"

"Akane's going to be hiding in a place we least suspect."

"Where?!?" Shampoo asked.

Up above, the late evening sky began to darken and lighting
flashed ominously.

"One of our restaurants," Ukyou said. "You check out the
Nekohanten, and I'll check Ucchan's. Hurry, before it's too late!"

Shampoo nodded and ran off. Ukyou turned and ran, but not for
Ucchan's.

* * *

"Tee-hee!" Akane giggled.

"They're gone, sis!" Nabiki encouraged the girl as she stepped
out of the closet.

"Ranma-bakaaa!" Akane cooed before she sprinted up the
stairs."

Nabiki ran after her, just in time to see Akane drag the
incoherent Ranma into her room. She hopped back down the stairs and
ran for the front closet.

"Oh lordy!" Nabiki exclaimed. "What an opportunity. I better
get the camcorder ready before they begin!"

"Oh, Ranma!" Akane exclaimed from inside her room in a voice
loud enough to carry through the entire house. "It's sooo big!"

Soun, who was standing in the middle of the tea-room, looked
up at the ceiling with a pained expression on his face. Tears were
running freely from his eyes and he unashamedly wiped his nose and
face with the sleeve of his dark cotton gi.

"Oh, Akane! You're such a big girl now," the man wailed.
"You're mother would be so proud!"

Genma, standing nearby, grunted in agreement, his face
similarly affected.

"Oooh! Squeeze harder!" Akane screamed.

"No!" Kasumi shouted from across the tea-room. "I'll not allow
it! Akane's too young to become a woman!"

"Daughter," Soun countered, dodging in front of his eldest and
the bokken she carried. "You must allow your sister her... her..."

"Oh, Ranma! Now, Ranma! Yeehaa!!!"

"Urr..." Soun stared at the ceiling in shock.

"If he hurts her, I'll be very cross!" Kasumi warned.

"Kasumi, dear," Nodoka placed a petite hand on her shoulder.

"Aunty, what--?"

Before Kasumi could speak, Nodoka, who was clad only in a
skimpy lace teddy and thigh-high stockings had the girl hogtied and
bound to the table. Kasumi looked up in horror. "Aunty!!!"

"This is for the best, Kasumi. You see, I too, have consumed a
Passion Dumpling and know the hidden fires which it ignites. Genma!"
Nodoka's voice was like the crack of a whip.

"Yes, dear!!!!"

"Akane and Ranma must be allowed to continue their--"

"Oh yessss! Deeper, Ranma! Harder!!! Oh, GOD!!!!"

"Ahem..." Nodoka continued as it started to rain outside. "I
see no problem there, Take me to bed, Husband."

"Absolutely!" Genma picked up the woman, threw her over his
shoulder and ran upstairs to the guest room, her feet kicking in
excitement.

"Father," Kasumi commanded. "Untie me so I can go save Akane!"

"Urrr...."

"Father!"

"Please don't hate me!!!" Soun wailed, choosing discretion as
the better part of valor. He ran off, leaving a yellow streak in his
wake.

"Nabiki! Untie me right now!"

"Ohhhyesohyessssohhhh.... OOHHHHRAAAANMAAAAAAAA!!!!!"

"Okay," Nabiki said, chuckling. "I think Akane's had a chance
to get what she wanted so--"

"Not so fast, Miss Tricky!" Ukyou shouted as she burst into
the room. "Where's Ranma?"

"AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA OOOOOOOOO YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!"

"Vocal, Isn't she?" Nabiki said, thinking aloud. "That girl
has *got* to learn to tone it down."

"Nooooooooooooo...." Ukyou wailed, collapsing to her knees.
The large battle spatula she had been weilding bent in her hands.

Nabiki chuckled and glanced toward the ceiling.

"Again, Ranma-baka!" Akane shouted. "Yes! I think you can move
my ankles--- Yes! Just like that!!!!"

"This is your fault, Nabiki!" Ukyou growled, tossing aside her
ruined spatula. She leapt at the middle Tendou girl, who barely
managed to dodge.

"Sorry, no refunds!"

"Die, bitch!" Ukyou belted Nabiki in the face, knocking the
girl to the floor.

Nabiki sat up, probing at her injured eye. She saw the killing
expression on Ukyou's face and darted from the room. "Sorry, Kasumi!
Gotta run! Need to stay alive. Bye!"

"Come back, you whore!" Ukyou bellowed running after.

"Somebody untie meee!" Kasumi pleaded.

"Oh, yes, Ranma! Tie me up! Oooh! Tighter!!!!"

Kasumi began to weep.

* * *

Several hours later, Akane opened her bedroom window to see a
little purple cat meowing piteously in the back yard of the Tendou
residence. It was still raining, and the cat looked like a drowned
rat.

Without pity, Akane grinned wicked and threw a glassful of ice
water out the window at the mourning kitty.

"Oh, Shampoo's in heat. Go home, pussy-cat," Akane called out.
"There's nothing for you here!"

"Miaaaaaaaaaaawwwwww...."

* * *

"I... I really said all those things?" Akane's hand went to
her mouth in shock.

Nabiki nodded. "And probably some I don't remember."

"Aunty really tied up Kasumi?"

"You better belive it. Your oldest sister is not a happy
camper this morning, so I'd watch out."

Akane breathed a sigh of regret. "I'm not a virgin any more.
Oh..."

"You had fun, didn't you?" Nabiki asked. "It certainly sounded
like it, at any rate. You've lost me a bet, you know. I was supposed
to be the first of the three of us to get laid."

Akane nodded thoughtfully. "What will Ranma think of me now?"

The changeroom door slammed open and Ranma, as a girl, darted
inside in a panic. She dove into the dirty clothes hamper and
started shaking

"Oh god, Oh god, I'm gonna die..."

"What?" Nabiki asked.

"Kasumi *yelled* at me!" Ranma said in horror. "Something
'bout hurting Akane. Both our dads have gone nuts. They're planning
a wedding or something. Oh man... this is bad..."

"Hmm... They wouldn't have any reason at all to start planning
a wedding, would they, lover boy?" Nabiki teased.

"What?" Ranma asked stupidly.

"Don't you remember?" Akane asked.

"Remember what?" Ranma said.

"Keep you hands off Akane, you little pervert!" Kasumi yelled,
breaking into the changeroom, swinging her bokken like a pro."

"YIPE!" Ranma screamed and ran away, Kasumi following just
after.

"He... He... He doesn't remember," Akane said, all the emotion
draining out of her voice.

Nabiki winced in sympathy. "It must have been the spice. He
was pretty incoherent by the time the two of you got down to cases
last night." She looked at the crestfallen expression on her
sister's face. "I'm sorry, Akane. At least you've beaten the other
girls."

Akane nodded, her face pointed down at the floor and her fists
clenched and shaking.

"They'll pay for this," Akane swore. "They'll pay..."

Nabiki nodded in agreement. "I swear, Akane. I'll help you
extract your rev--"

"Oh, but first," Akane declared. "But First..."

"But first?"

"First, I'm going to give Ranma something he'll remember! Oh,
Ranma-bakaaaaa!"

* * *

Author's Notes:

This was bad bad bad. Passion Spice is one of the most overused
Cliches in Ranma FF, and I used it anyway. Oh well... It was fun to
write.

Ranma and Co. are copyright Takahashi-sensei, Shogakukan and Viz.
They're used here without permission.