I'll Remember You
Spoilers: Just Glee in general
Summary: One day Puck wakes up and is met with a solemn world, but why?
I'll Remember You
Puck stares out of his truck window, watching the trees and open fields of Lima rush by, slowly nodding to the music.
I don't wanna feel no more
It's easier to keep falling
Puck wants to close his eyes, to listen to this great song, but he has to drive.
Imitations are pale
Emptiness all tomorrows
Haunted by your ghost
Puck lets out a shaky breath before joining in.
Lay down, black gives way to blue
Lay down, I'll remember you
Puck's bottom lip quivers.
Today's the day. It's been one year since I've last seen Beth. My baby girl.
For that one moment, Puck lets himself feel that pain. He lets himself be Noah, the part of him that will let him feel these deep emotions that he'll never let anyone else see.
Fading out by design
Puck jumps in with the music.
Consciously avoiding changes
Curtains drawn, now it's done
Puck reaches over and turns the volume up.
Silencing all tomorrows
Forcing a goodbye
He lets his voice carry in the car, not holding back.
Lay down, black gives way to blue
Lay down, I'll remember you
Puck forces himself to pull off onto the side of the road. He had let Noah out, his feelings, plus this song. Now it was his time to break down.
It's not fair. I wanted my daughter. She should be with me, her papa. I could have given her a good life.
Puck lets the burning tears flood from his eyes.
She's mine. The one thing in this world I know I could love. And now everyone pretends that it didn't happen. No one thinks of me. Of course no one will think of Puck. They think that I've just moved on, well I haven't. I . . . I miss her so much.
Puck lets out a few shaky breaths before lifting his head up and letting it fall onto his headrest.
Breathe Noah. You can't be doing this today. Save it for the weekend when you'll be alone . . . like always.
Puck reaches up and dries his eyes and cheeks against the palms of his hand. He reaches forward and twists the key to start his truck up. He looks out the window for traffic, but stops.
Why is he . . .Dammit Noah.
Puck groans, not having hidden Noah up in time yet.
Puck turns his truck off and opens the door. He steps out into the foggy morning and shuts his truck door. The lone road on the outskirts of Lima is unusually quiet, the morning drizzle having already passed.
On the withered vine entwined gnarled tree
The old crow a-perching,
Puck's ears perk up as he hears the voice. "Hummel?"
His pace quickens as he crosses the road to where the boy sits. Kurt doesn't even look up at him. Puck scans the boy. The only thing off is that he's sitting on the edge of the road, on a pile of dirt.
By the bridge o'er the streamlet
The hamlet a-standing,
Kurt's voice cuts him off.
Dammit with these riddles.
"Kurt." Puck raises his voice.
Kurt looks away from the ground and up at Puck. "Yes?"
"What are you doing?" Puck looks at the ground then back to Kurt.
Kurt frowns. "I'm trying to memorize this poem that I've heard before. It's due today in English class"
"Okay." Puck says slowly. "But why here?"
"Well I had to walk to school today, but then I saw this." Kurt reaches down and picks a dry and shriveled up vine. "It's a withered vine. It reminded me of the poem and I thought that it would be too ironic to see one when I was trying to remember the poem. Make sense?"
"Yeah." Puck slowly nods. "It does, but it's still a bit weird. You're sitting on the edge of the road."
"Just let me finish my poem and I'll be on my way." Kurt turns away from Puck and looks back down at the vine in his hands.
"Whatever dude." Puck mutters before turning away from the boy and making his way back to his truck.
On the winding lea with the west wind howling
The horse a-hunching,
Puck shivers at the soft spoken words that float through the air as he yanks his truck door open.
On the west horizon
The sun a-setting,
Puck slams his door shut and lets out a shaky breath.
I'll leave when I'm sure he will. I'm not that harsh to leave someone alone. Especially since he looks sick and all.
Puck looks out to see Kurt standing up, looking at him.
What the heck is he doing?
The world to a dismal scene and
To a man of sorrow a-leaving.
The words ring loud in Puck's ears before Kurt drops the vine back to the ground. Puck narrows his eyes with confusion at the boy, but Kurt gives him a small smile before stuffing his hands into his jeans and starting his journey along the highway to school. Puck stares after him for a second before starting his truck up.
You're Puck now. Noah is only for the weekends. You can't let yourself slip again.
Puck shifts his truck into drive and pulls away from the roads edge. It only takes him two seconds before he's passing Kurt and four seconds before he can't see the boy anymore.
The morning fog has cleared up by the time he's pulled into the high school parking lot. Now the people of Lima are left with a partly cloudy sky. Puck parks his truck and hops out. He looks down at his watch as he makes his way up to the school.
Sweet. Only five minutes late for class. That's a record by a long shot. I usually miss half the class. Maybe I have good luck today.
Puck chuckles as he passes the dumpsters. He slows down and stares at the empty area.
That's weird. They're usually hanging out here, getting Israel half the time since Hummel has become clever at getting around them.
Puck shrugs and makes his way through the front doors of McKinley. He steps into the desolate hallway and breaths in the unclean scent of that school since Figgins has still neglected himself to finding a permanent janitor. Puck shoulders his backpack and makes his way down the hallway, nodding his head to some unknown tune.
He stops at the doorway to his first class. He peers in and frowns. For some reason, everyone is frowning.
Dang. Must be test day. I'm out.
Puck yawns as he steps into his second period English class.
One nap in the nurse's office is not enough to get through a day of school.
Puck saunters further into the room frowning, not receiving any of his usual comments are batting eyes. He takes his seat in the back of the class and looks around. Again, all he sees are sad faces.
There can't be another test.
He wants to ask someone what's going on, but he can't. Puck doesn't care about things like this. Only one group of people does.
I'll have to ask everyone at practice, because this is looking more serious than some measly test.
He lets out a shaky breath and settles back into his chair as Mrs. George steps into the room. "Alright everyone. Despite recent events, we're going to continue on today with short stories and-"
Puck blocks her voice out and shifts comfortably in his chair.
Lets hope this good luck continues and I don't get called on for anything. Not that I do anyways. And what do I know about poetry anyways. It's-
Puck's eyes blink open and he sits forward in his seat.
Why did she say short stories? I thought we were on poetry.
"That's what Kurt said." Puck mutters.
"Something you'd like to share with the class Mr. Puckerman?" Puck looks up to find his teacher and half the class looking at him.
"Um . . ." Puck clears his throat. "I'm just confused is all."
"And why am I surprised?" His teacher's voice is dripping with sarcasm, already used to his antics.
"No." Puck shakes his head. "Genuinely confused. I thought we were doing poetry. I mean, weren't our poems and stuff do today?"
Mrs. George's eyes narrow at him. "That was two days ago Mr. Puckerman." Puck looks even more confused. "But I am glad that you have paid attention somewhat. Just try to be a little more current and you might succeed in this class."
Puck just gives her a short nod before she continues on with class. Puck crosses his arms across his chest and frowns.
So Kurt lied to me? That's gotta be a first. Usually he's brutally honest. But why would he do that? I've been nothing but nice to him for ages it seems. I haven't even had a conversation with him for the past few months until today.
Puck's frown becomes even more edged into his features as he continues to think.
Puck smiles as he makes his way down the hall.
Finally. Glee club. People I can talk too. But . . .
His eyes narrow.
Most of them were missing from lunch, and I'm pretty sure Tina and Mercedes wouldn't want me sitting with them. I mean, they were crying. So them fawning over some guy would definitely be the lunch conversation I want. Actually, no one really talked today. It was more like eat and leave.
Puck reaches up and scratches his neck, completely confused. He shrugs his shoulders and gives up on the mystery.
Maybe every caught that bug that Hummel has. Or it could be the weather.
Puck opens the choir room door and steps in, a confused look flashing across his face. All of the girls that don't have boyfriends are huddled together, a few of them crying. Rachel and Finn are crying over each other while Tina crushes the life out of Mike.
"Hey." Puck says slowly, being cautious of this unknown distress. "What's going on?"
"What's going on?" Santana snaps. "Are you deliberately trying to be stupid?"
"No." Puck snaps back. "I'm just confused why you guys and the rest of the world are crying. It's a good day. Great even. I've had the best luck today and it's people like you that are downing it."
What . . . The . . . Hell . . .
He is met with shocked and outraged expressions.
What did I say? What the hell did I even do?
Puck doesn't get a chance to say anything before Finn has pounced on him. "You prat." Finn says as Puck attempts to push him off.
"What the hell Hudson?" He pushes Finn away and moves into a sitting position.
"You're a retard!" Finn shouts as he scrambles to his feet. "How can you . . . how can you just come in here and act like this? Act like you don't care?"
"What am I supposed to care about?" Puck spits back. "It's just another day in this place. And I don't see what the hell your problem is."
Finn's face flushes with red as he attempts to attack Puck again. Luckily, Schue happens to enter the room and stops Finn.
"Stop it Finn." Schue pushes Finn away from Puck. "We're all on edge today."
"I didn't do anything. You and everyone else in here are acting like a bunch of pansies." Puck looks to everyone and he is still receiving the same hatred-filled looks.
Schue clenches his fist, trying to control himself. "I'm sorry Puck, but I think you should leave for the day. We don't need your negativity here."
Puck wants to argue, but he sees it as a pointless action at this point. "Fine. But when you're all ready to talk, you know where to find me."
His final words to the group echo through his head as he makes his way out of the room and down the hallway.
Ready to talk? Why'd I say that? There's nothing to talk about. Everyone's just freaking out today, but why though?
Puck lets out a shaky breath as he steps outside. He's met with this mornings fog, but it has returned much thicker for this evening. Puck takes a few steps forward down the front stairs, but stops. He looks over to see Kurt sitting on the side, his head leaning against the railing as he stares out into the fog.
"Hummel." Puck takes a few steps towards the boy. "What are you doing out here? You're late for glee club, you know?"
"I know." Kurt mutters before looking up at Puck. "I didn't feel like going."
"Well good thing." Puck chuckles dryly. "Everyone is on edge today for some reason. A few of them started yelling at me while everyone else was glaring daggers at me."
"Really?" Kurt's eyebrows go up. "I've been ignored all day. No one's even talked to me besides you."
"Hmm." Puck purses his lips before holding a hand out for Kurt. "Well come on fellow outcast. I'll give you a ride home since you don't have a car today."
"Thanks." Kurt says as he stands up.
Puck shrugs at Kurt declining his hand and returns it to his pocket before they both set out towards his truck. "Some weather huh?"
Kurt snorts. "Wow. You seriously want to talk about the weather?"
Puck chuckles. "Well that's usually a good conversation starter, but in this case it's true." Puck gestures to the fog. "This stuffs been coming in and out all day."
"That's true." Kurt smiles as they reach the truck.
Puck smiles at the boy before looking back to the school. He gives the place one last look before opening his door and sliding in. He places his bag in the middle and looks over to Kurt.
"Where's your bag and stuff?" He asks as he starts the truck up.
Kurt sighs. "I left it in my truck. I'm pretty sure most of it is spread across my back seat."
Puck nods. "Understandable. Tis the life of a student."
Kurt chuckles and rolls his eyes as they pull out of the parking lot and get onto the main road. Puck settles easily into the comfortable silence. He glances over at Kurt and notices the relaxed boy. He can't help but smile before he notices something.
"You're not wearing a seat belt." Kurt chuckles. "I thought that that would be the first thing on your to-do list once inside a vehicle."
"Usually." Kurt comments. "But I don't know anymore. Recently, I've been feeling like they're too restrictive, you know. I know they're supposed to save you in case of a wreck or something, but they can also kill when they prevent you from un-buckling and getting out safely. Make sense?"
"Yeah." Puck nods. "I don't wear mine out of habit, but I can use your reasoning as a good excuse for now on."
Kurt chuckles and Puck smiles.
Hummel's not so bad after all.
"Hey." Puck and Kurt look to each other at the same time. "Why did you say that our poetry stuff was due today? Mrs. George said that was due a few days ago."
"Oh." Kurt purses his lips. "I'm sorry about that. I haven't really been here the past few days. Everything's just been one big blur."
"That's stress getting to you." Puck comments and Kurt nods. "Or your hair spray."
"Hey!" Kurt laughs.
Puck chuckles. "So where am I taking you? Haven't really been to your house in ages so I might need some guidance here."
"I've actually moved." Kurt says, surprising Puck.
"Really?" Puck is almost shocked by this news. "I figured I would have heard Finn or someone say something about that."
"It's rather recent." Kurt's voice is soft. "That's probably why these past few days have been hazy. Busy busy busy, you know."
"Yeah." Puck nods. "Well direct me to the new Hummel residence."
Kurt smiles before looking forward. "Take a right up here."
"Roger." Puck says, making Kurt laugh.
"Can I ask you something?" Kurt asks as he finishes his laugh.
"I'm an open book." Puck shrugs.
"Alright." Kurt nods. "So my first question is can I call you Noah?"
Puck raises an eyebrow. "And why would you want to do that?"
"Just because I can say I'm one of the few that used your name while I was alive." Kurt answers.
Puck raises his eyebrows at the reason, but nods nonetheless. "Sure. Next question."
"Have you ever thought about dying?" Kurt asks slowly.
Puck frowns. "I have . . . in the past. But not anytime recently. Why do you ask?"
"It's all I've been thinking about the past few days." He can hear some tears in Kurt's voice. "It seems to be the question that's stuck on my mind. How will it feel? What happens after death? Can you become a ghost, or do you . . . move on?"
"Well . . ." Puck's voice is controlled.
Who knew Hummel would think about crap like this?
"I think it depends on how you die. That will factor in, I'd like to think." Puck says slowly. "But I think once it happens, you shouldn't feel much. At least-"
"Take another right." Kurt cuts Puck off.
Puck nods and takes a right onto a gravel street. "And to what happens after . . . I've always believed that if you die with an unspoken desire, or something you need to clear from your conscience, then you'd stay a bit longer to help yourself. But I have no idea where you'd move onto."
He can see Kurt nod out of the corner of his eye. "What if you know that thing is, and you want to clear it before you die?"
"Then go for it." Puck glances at him.
Kurt smiles at the response before looking forward and scratching the front of his neck. "You can stop here."
Puck nods as he parks along the edge of the road. He goes to look around, but is stopped by Kurt.
"Can I ask something of you?" Kurt asks slowly as he leans forward.
"Sure." Puck keeps his voice quiet, afraid that if it was loud it would ruin the mood that the two of them have created.
"Can you please kiss me?" Kurt asks, his eyes not leaving Puck's.
Puck goes to say something, but Kurt shakes his head. "Please Noah. I want to have my first kiss, and I want it from someone I know and respect." Puck goes to open his mouth again, but Kurt cuts him off. "I do respect you Noah. You've been so much better this year. You've grown. And I know that you're special because you cared for Beth, even now. I know you do. So could you . . . bestow of me one first and last kiss?"
Puck's eyebrows narrow. "Last? What do you-?"
His words are cut off by Kurt's lips touching his. He is still for a few second while he tests the tastes of Kurt's moving lips against his. It only takes around four seconds before he slowly moves his lips against Kurt's. He can't but help lean into the kiss, savoring the firm, yet soft lips against his instead of the once always soft lips that belonged to girls.
Then suddenly, the lips are gone. Puck opens his eyes and is met with an empty truck.
Where did he-
"Noah." Puck turns in his seat to find Kurt standing on the opposite side of the road.
"Kurt-" He cuts himself off as the fog begins to clear up quickly. It seems to create a path of sorts, linking Puck and Kurt.
Puck looks at the billowing stacks of fog on either side of this path. He eyes them for a second before opening his truck door and stepping out. He glances up nervously, seeing the fog extend up and out of sight. When he looks down at Kurt, he finds the boy back in front of him.
"Kurt-" Puck is cut off by Kurt's fingers being pushes against his lips.
"Thank you Noah." Kurt's voice seems so much lighter now with an echo to it.
"What do you mean?" Puck asks slowly.
Kurt just smiles and steps back, letting his finger drop from Puck's lips. "Never give up on love Noah. You shall find one person that you belong with just as much as you will find your daughter.
Puck opens his mouth, but no words come out. As Kurt moves further back, the fog behind the pale boy clears up. Eventually, Puck is able to see a well-kept graveyard.
Kurt smiles at Puck one last time, a tear slipping down his cheek. "I won't forget you Noah."
Puck suddenly jumps back and hits his back against his truck as another truck flies through the fog and blares their horn at Puck. "Watch where you're walking kid!" The driver yells before continuing on.
Puck lets out a shaky breath as he turns to look back at Puck, but he is met with nothing. The fog is gone, Kurt is gone. All that's left is the graveyard and Puck. Puck moves closer to his truck as another car races past. The wind left over from the car blows a random newspaper in front of Puck. He goes to ignore it, but a familiar picture makes him stop the paper with his foot and picks it up. He dusts off the front before finding the main article.
The life of a young man, a student, a friend, a brother, and forever a son, Kurt Hummel, has been sadly taken from this world so young. On this past Monday, Mr. Hummel had the misfortune of getting lost in the early morning fog and ended up flipping his car into the nearby ditch on Road Marker 4. Mr. Hummel would have escaped with only few bruises, but his seat belt had been caught around his neck. We are told that he left us quickly. His memorial will be held this Friday.
Puck's teary eyes move down the article until he is met with Kurt's smiling face. Puck drops the paper and brings his hand up to his mouth. He shuts his eyes and lets the tears fall onto his hand.
This can't be happening. Today's only Thursday. If he . . . if he d-died Monday, then I wouldn't be seeing him. I can't be.
Puck lets out s shaky breath between his fingers.
On the withered vine entwined gnarled tree
Puck's eyes snap open as Kurt's words from this morning echo in his mind.
This is real. But . . . but why Kurt. It's too soon for him . . . no. Think of what he said.
Puck's bottom lip quivers as he removes his hand. "I won't forget you Kurt. I'll remember you."
Wow . . . so this is a one-shot that I've had in mind for a while and I'm happy to give it to you guys for my one-year anniversary here on . This will be one fic of several that I will release today in celebration. So let me know what you think and enjoy. :)
The song that Puck sings in the beginning is Black Gives Way to Blue by Alice in Chains.
The poem that Kurt speaks is Tian Jing Sha by Ma Zhiyuan.