Please read warnings before each chapter! Each one will be different, and I'm serious about them. Note that all of them will be lemons/lime (not necessarily Plot, What Plot? though), because that's what this collection of oneshots is for: a place for me to dump the impossible (though sexy) imaginings of my feverish, sleep-deprived brain. Pairings/situations will generally be rare or unheard of and different for each chapter, so not all of them will appeal to everyone (unless you're very open-minded). So don't forget to read the warnings! Flames will be laughed at, because I'll know you skipped this A/N.

A/N: Good lord, what the hell did I write...? I've never even seen a lemon featuring Tsunade before, and ones with sub!Kakashi are rare. When I tried to combine the two, this is the...interesting result. Beware taking it too seriously, it is what it is. I hope you enjoy, fellow pervs! :D

WARNINGS/PAIRINGS: [Tsunade/Kakashi], PWP lemon, femdom, sub!Kakashi, dubcon (no, really)

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"Are you gay, Hatake?"

Kakashi glanced up at the Godaime in surprise. The question was startling enough to make him lower his favorite porn novel from its usual resting place three inches in front of his nose, but not startling enough to make him actually close it or anything.

"Come again?"

Now it was Tsunade's turn to look up from her reading material. Needless to say, the C-rank mission reports sprawled across her desk were much less enthralling than what Kakashi's eye had been perusing, so she was grateful for the distraction. She poured herself a cup of sake and pursued her conversation.

"I asked if you were gay."

Kakashi's visible eye blinked at her slowly. "I am not yet old enough to be losing my hearing, Hokage-sama. I merely wanted you to elaborate on the meaning of your question."

Tsunade arched a slim brow at the insolence in his tone. As one of the village's most elite jounin and her personal advisor, sometimes Kakashi forgot his place. "Watch your tongue, Hatake," she warned in no uncertain terms, throwing back the sake in one gulp.

He backpedaled with a charming eye-crinkle. "Of course, Hokage-sama. My apologies."

The Godaime rolled her eyes at his feigned submission. She was perfectly aware that the Copy-nin could smile and bow with the best of them, only to do exactly as he pleased the moment one's back was turned. Nevertheless, this guy was a slippery enough fish that she knew to pick her battles. She expected a major one coming up, so she let his attitude slide for now. "It has been brought to my attention — repeatedly — by a select few village elders that you are currently unmarried."

Kakashi stared.

"And without a girlfriend," she added.

More staring.

"Nor have you ever had a girlfriend, or even a lover, to the best of anyone's knowledge."

Kakashi finally snapped the cover of his orange book shut. He looked at her for a long time, appearing to gather himself to speak. "Flattered as I am that council has taken an active interest in my love life — "

"Or lack thereof."

" — or lack thereof," he allowed, continuing. "I fail to see how the matter is of any concern to them. Unless I have a secret admirer?..."

It was a blatant lie, and an obvious attempt at misdirection. He knew exactly where the Hokage was going with this, but he wasn't going to let her get there so easily. Really, there wasn't a bone in the man's body that didn't enjoy inconveniencing those around him. However, merely knowing she was taking the bait didn't mean Tsunade could quite keep herself from biting. She scoffed.

"Secret admirer? They're older than me, for god's sakes."

His mask twitched in such a way so as to indicate he was flashing her a winning smile beneath the fabric. "Well, since we're speculating wildly about my sexuality anyway, for all you know I'm into that kind of thing — "

Tsunade silenced him with a flat look. "Cut the crap, Kakashi," she barked, dropping both formalities and pretense. "The council has a point, and I know you know what I'm getting at."

This time a flicker of unease flitted across his face, and if Tsunade hadn't known the man almost his whole life she would have missed it. Predictably, his expression snapped back into distant, vague apathy, with a side of polite confusion. "Hokage sama, I'm afraid I don't under— "

A fist slammed into the desk, cracking the wood and rattling the ceramic sake cup. It teetered on the edge, but Tsunade recovered herself and caught it before it fell. She placed it back in the center of her workspace and refilled it, leveling Kakashi with a stern enough glare to make him sink into his chair fractionally.

"Hatake Kakashi, when was the last time you contributed to the village outside of a battle context?" She knocked back her sake with an audible gulp.

Kakashi knew better than to answer. He kept his eye carefully fixed on her face, posture straight and respectfully attentive. In his mind, he calculated how fast he could make it to the window and punch through the glass. He was the Copy-nin, with legendary speed and skill, but this was the Godaime. He was certainly not in a position to physically overpower her, and using the Sharingan to cast genjutsu on the Hokage could probably land him a life sentence for treason. Escape was the only possible option. He would not have this conversation. He bided his time patiently and let her continue.

"Konoha has been extremely lenient with you, Kakashi. We could use you in ANBU, but you refuse. We've allowed you to be a jounin teacher, but you're a failure. You passed on one technique to one student, then were unable to prevent said student from defecting and taking that classified technique with him. You allowed Naruto's training to fall on Jiraiya's shoulders, and when the boy seeks you out for practice, I let you hole up in my office to hide behind your filthy books. To the gifted student I took off your hands, you passed on nothing."

Kakashi could feel the storm building in the enclosed space. He reconsidered whether the office door might not be the best option, but Tsunade was only a few feet away. High heels or not, she could have him by the balls before he turned the handle. The situation was looking increasingly grim. He remained wisely silent and let the rant continue, masked face betraying nothing.

"You are chronically late, debilitatingly uncooperative in the face of medical treatment, disrespectful to authority, and unable to follow orders you don't agree with."

Tsunade stared at Kakashi. Kakashi stared at Tsunade. He opened his mouth. "I apologize for being a terrible shinobi —"

"And you're a god awful liar to boot," she steamrolled over him unflinchingly. Without taking her eyes off him, she refilled her glass, took a sip, and deliberately placed it back on the desk with a dull thud. "And if you so much as glance at that door or that window, Kakashi, so help me you will live to regret it. Actually, no you won't."

The sweat was rolling off Kakashi's back, though he sat perfectly still.

"We are going to settle this matter today. You're not leaving this office until I have either the name of a woman you are willing to impregnate, or a semen sample. It's time you did something useful for Konoha's future."

Kakashi calculated his odds and immediately knew which name to choose. "Saku — " He cut off to duck a flying sake cup. It crashed into the wall where his head had been, shattering into a thousand pieces. Sake rolled down the wall to dribble onto his collar, making the hair on the back of his neck stand at attention.

"The woman has to be willing, Kakashi. And of age. And not my student. No impossible suggestions," she growled dangerously.

"But Hokage-sama, I believe you've ruled out most of the village —" he began, ducking a paperweight. It whizzed past his ear to smash into the alcohol-soaked wall, leaving a rather unsightly hole in the plaster. Tsunade didn't seem to notice.

"Enough games. What's your decision, Kakashi?"

There was absolutely no way he was going to agree to something so ridiculous, of course. It's true that the village prospered by preserving the bloodlines of its most gifted ninja, but there were plenty of clans to take care of that. Kakashi hardly saw it as his individual responsibility; moreover, he had never wanted kids. Ever. Whether raised by him or not, his genes would be more of a curse than a blessing. Besides, he was not some stallion to be put to stud and made to perform on command. He much preferred the comfortable familiarity of his books to real women, who could be unpredictable and troublesome. Kakashi gave Shikamaru a run for his money in his disdain for troublesome things. And the most troublesome thing he could think of would be to persuade an actual female — with real breasts and legs and a thinking brain — to bear an unwanted child for him. But the alternative of popping off to the bathroom and emerging with a cup full of sperm to hand to the Hokage was the most humiliating prospect he'd faced...possibly ever. At least since that time Gai stole his clothes from the jounin locker room, forcing him to wear that green spandex monstrosity. Kakashi was trapped between a rock and the hard place where Tsunade's heart should have been. He knew for certain now that beneath that ample, comically oversized bust was nothing but a black, vacuous cavern. Kakashi glanced towards the door.

Tsunade moved first.

Kakashi had been counting on that, because his real target had been the window. He was out of his seat and across the tiny office in a flash, foot raised to kick the glass out when a senbon sank into the back of his neck. He froze, paralyzed from the neck down and precariously balanced. Before his unmoving form could hit the floor, slender arms caught him and steadied him. Tsunade spun him around and placed her deceptively small hand over the hitae-ate covering his eye. A pulse of chakra jolted through his brain, damaging his left ocular nerve. His good eye widened in stunned disbelief.

"I would never have used the Sharingan against —"

"I already told you you're a god awful liar. That senbon is lodged in your C3 cervical spinal vertebrae, so you're not going anywhere. Your Sharingan is disabled until I choose to heal it. Don't test my patience further, Kakashi," she warned, pressing his stiff back into the wall.

"How am I supposed to offer you a semen sample without the ability to move, Hokage-sama?" he remarked, his characteristic unflappability faltering.

Tsunade casually trod on his foot with the toe of one high heeled shoe. "I'm going to remove the senbon and you are going to cooperate. Is that clear?"

Kakashi was suddenly and intensely uncomfortable with their positioning. He had full feeling in body, but he truly couldn't move even a fingertip. The jounin could not remember the last time he'd felt so helpless. Though she seemed unaware of it, her breasts were pressing into his chest, and he hated that he could do nothing to squirm away. Her face was too close to his and the overpowering smell of sake and ladies' perfume assaulted his nostrils. Her smaller, distressingly feminine figure radiated ire. Kakashi's own body blazed with anger and embarrassment, though his expression was schooled. He looked steadfastly over her shoulder, refusing to meet her gaze.

Strong fingers grasped his cloth-covered chin and forced his face back to hers. She captured his eye with piercing brown ones. "I am not often made to repeat myself." Her voice was low, unspoken threats soft.

Kakashi felt like he was trapped in a horrible genjutsu, but the twinge of discomfort in his belly was real. It took him a jarring moment to come to grips with the fact that he was unable to defend himself from whatever she was planning. Kakashi knew Tsunade was a woman inclined to bend the rules to achieve her goals, but she was always fair and just in the end. He honestly never imagined her going so far as to trample his free will like this. Surely this was about more than the general welfare of the village. The dominating intent in her eyes indicated this was personal. Kakashi knew his insubordination irked her, but he had no idea it could turn her into a veritable fire-breathing dragon.

Tsunade stared Kakashi down and saw the lingering defiance in his half-lidded eye. The second she removed the senbon, he would do anything to escape, she was sure of it. She didn't understand the intensity of her own reactions, but something about the way he managed to look down his nose at her even when virtually all his power had been revoked made her blood boil. The high and mighty Hatake Kakashi was a man who did as he pleased, but Tsunade was a Kage who got what she wanted. It was long past time to instill some proper fear into the Copy-nin, and remind him exactly who the strongest ninja in the village really was. She pressed her hand to his throat, gently wrapping her fingers around it to stroke the senbon protruding from his skin. She squeezed lightly.

Kakashi's breath stopped. "You wouldn't hurt me, Tsu— "

Suddenly he found himself on his back staring up at the ceiling, the hard wood of the desk jarring his spine, papers crumpling beneath him. Tsunade's stony expression loomed into view above him, the pressure of her nails at his throat increasing. "That's 'Hokage-sama.'"

Something cold slithered into Kakashi's belly, and he was suddenly terribly uncertain of everything he'd ever thought he knew about her. He'd seen her infamous aggression on the battlefield before, but never had it been directed at him like this, up close and too personal. It hit him like she'd turned a spotlight on from a foot away, blinding and suffocating him. Pale strands of hair tickled his nose and he was acutely aware of her hips lodged firmly between his thighs. He was sure she was using the suggestive posture as an intimidation tactic, and much to his chagrin it was working. This unfamiliar feeling of vulnerability was eating away at him, playing with his head.

Tsunade saw the waver in his gaze and pressed on mercilessly. She leaned down, enjoying the way his head flinched as her face neared his, no doubt afraid she would cross that boundary too. Instead, her cheek brushed past his as she let her words ghost across the shell of his ear, barely audible. "You will cooperate. Is. That. Clear?"

Doubt crashed over him. Suddenly, the idea of giving in and retreating obediently to the restroom for a perfunctory jerk-off seemed like an appealing alternative to this position. Anything seemed like an appealing alternative to enduring the Hokage's pelvis pressed awkwardly into his own. The unpredictable volatility in her eyes unnerved him, and he was no longer sure in what way she intended to make him 'cooperate.' He had the sinking feeling he'd been unknowingly playing with fire and was about to get burned. What if he'd pushed her too far already? How well did he really know her? What exactly was Konoha's most powerful and headstrong kunoichi capable of?

Tsunade observed the conflict in his eyes with deep satisfaction. His slightly ragged breathing and erratic heartbeat told her she'd accomplished her objective; he was unhinged. He would cooperate for now, not only in the matter of progeny but in general. Her own heart was pumping curiously fast from the adrenaline rush and she paused a moment to slow it. That was when she noticed the bulge against her stomach. Her brain whirred, jaw falling open as dawning realization creeped across her face.

Kakashi watched understanding darken the Hokage's eyes and knew he was in major trouble. He opened his mouth quickly, "I will cooperate, Hokage-sama. Just let me up and I swear I'll head straight to the —"

But she didn't seem to listening. She was eyeing the way his jounin vest had ridden up his waist, revealing a sliver of skin, considering his prone form in a new light. "Earlier when you said you might be into that kind of thing... "

"It was a joke," he replied immediately. "A joke. Please, Hokage-sama, I'll cooperate."

"That," she said, pressing her hip pointedly into his erection, "is no joke."

A tiny groan escaped the Copy-nin's masked lips. Tsunade stared in disbelief.

He couldn't let her see his panic. The worst thing you can do with a predator is let them smell your fear. And in that moment, crouched over him with her dilated pupils, Tsunade looked like a predator. Kakashi closed his eyes and exhaled. "Hokage-sama. As a medic-nin you are surely aware of the impossibility of controlling certain biological reactions of the male body — "

"Don't lecture me about biology, Kakashi," she sneered, eyes trained on his broad chest.

"Then you should know that regardless of how my body is responding I do not give consent to — "

Tsunade cut him off with deep, rumbling laughter. Chills rolled down Kakashi's spine at the ominous sound. He felt her soft chest vibrating against his.

"And since when," she drawled between dying chuckles, "has this been about your consent?"

Kakashi did not, did not, did not like the gleam in her eyes, and he especially did not like the slightly feral grin spreading across her pink lips. Ice plunged into his belly to war with the heat in his groin. When he felt a hand slither across his thigh, he would have jerked three feet into the air had he been able to move. His eye widened in alarm.

"Tsu — " he choked. "Hokage-sama, please don't — "

Fingers constricted around his windpipe, cutting off his pleas. At the same time a warm hand cupped him through the stretched cloth of his pants.

"What was that, Kakashi?" she breathed, leaning in to leer at him. "I know that wasn't the sound of you questioning my decisions again." She squeezed. Kakashi sucked in a breath through his teeth.

Tsunade rubbed him slowly, watching his mask twitch with his grimaces. "I think I've found the Copy-nin's weakness."

A gurgling sound escaped his throat, but he refused to legitimize her comment with a reply.

Tsunade looked at Kakashi like a whole new man. Was it possible she had misread him all these years? She studied the way his heart raced at her touch, the sheen of sweat that had appeared the moment he was subjected to a position of powerlessness. His body's reactions were completely at odds with his words. Was he truly unaware of the dissonance? In light of such revelations, his adamant refusal to submit, his continued shrugging of authority, his insubordination over the years...all of it took on a different meaning. Her eyes narrowed. "You want to be bossed around, don't you? But you won't be cowed by just anybody."

He shook his head violently, mop of tangled hair flying. " 'nade, get off —" he wheezed.

In one sudden motion he found his mask pulled down his nose and stuffed into his mouth. He gagged against it, coughing.

Tsunade laughed. "Was that an invitation, Kakashi?" she asked innocently, peeling his pants down his hips. His hard length sprang free into the air.

His eye bulged. He shook his head frantically once more. There was absolutely no way Tsunade would really take this game of hers that far. She'd demonstrated her control over him fully, he got the message, and now it was time to let him go. He could scurry off and do her bidding from now on without question, like a good little shinobi. He'd impregnate every girl in Konoha if she wanted, but now things were careening out of control like a loose ferris wheel at a carnival and it was time to call her off before something really bad hap —

"MMPH!" he shouted around the fabric in his mouth at the feeling of her hand on the naked skin of his cock. Her touch burned. His eye squeezed shut against the unwelcome stimulation.

"Hmm? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of your poorly subdued arousal and unwarranted disbelief. Unwarranted because you brought this upon yourself, of course. I'm going to teach you the lesson you've apparently been begging someone to teach you for years, Hatake Kakashi."

Kakashi couldn't believe his eyes when her figure slid down his body. He tilted his head forward to gaze at the completely unexpected sight of the Godaime between his forcibly spread thighs. He renewed his useless struggles to get his own muscles to function when he felt her breath against his heated skin. As she took the traitorous, throbbing member into her mouth, Kakashi's mind blanked.

Then he realized what was happening and began screaming around his gag.

Tsunade laughed as she worked her way up and down his shaft with practiced ease, knowing the vibration would drive him wild. She swirled her tongue around his swollen head and felt the heavy satisfaction of being proven right when his incoherent noises dropped in pitch, becoming more keening than frantic. She popped off to run her tongue over her hands and looked up at him.

"The key to a really good blowjob, Kakashi, is saliva. You want it slick as possible so you can use your hands on the parts your mouth can't reach," she explained clinically, grasping the base of his shaft with one expertly twisting wrist while her lips descended on him again.

The blood rushed to Kakashi's head so fast he feared he might faint. She played him like a puppeteer. Every caress of her slick tongue, each perfectly-placed suck set his nerves on fire, like she had a map of his individual anatomy. And maybe she did.

Kakashi's thoughts were coming in maddeningly nonsensical images and flashes, a confusing tangle of feelings balled up in his chest that he couldn't possibly hope to sort out, or even cope with. The pleasure was mixed with shame and confusion, each emotion intensifying the other until he thought he might lose his mind. Her hot mouth slipped off to wander down the underside of his shaft, trailing moist kisses along the way. When a wet tongue peeked out to taste the soft skin of his sack, Kakashi's vision dimmed. That feeling of inevitability tightened in his stomach, and he was still utterly unsure whether he wanted to come or not, but it didn't look like he'd have a choice because he could feel his balls clenching when she took them delicately into her mouth and oh god that felt fantastic and —

She withdrew, and Kakashi suddenly had his answer.

Yes, he had wanted to come. Hard.

Despair crashed over his lust-addled body as the rug was cruelly yanked out from under him. His mind whirled in an impossible slurry of contradictions, thoughts sloshing around between desire and anger and shock like the pitching and rolling of a boat caught in a hurricane. Just as he thought his sanity was on the brink of sliding out his ear canals, a familiar voice grounded him.

"I didn't give you permission to come yet."

And he was back in the Hokage's office staring up into the beautiful, terrible face of the woman herself. She licked her lips and raised a petite blonde brow at him.

"If I remove the gag, will you scream?"

In a daze, Kakashi felt himself shake his head no.

Without warning the mask was ripped from his mouth and he sucked in several lungfuls of air gratefully. True to his word, he didn't scream, curiously blank mind nothing more than numbed, pliable putty in her capable hands. Something inside him had snapped. He just didn't know what to think anymore, so he didn't bother. She would tell him what to do.

Sure enough, she spoke up again, commanding tone inexplicably reassuring to his ears: "If you want to come, you're going to follow my instructions, Hatake. Understood?"

He nodded, mute, unable to ignore the unfulfilled need screaming from between his legs.

"That's 'yes, Hokage-sama,'" she corrected bluntly.

Dry lips parted. "Yes, Hokage-sama," he croaked, not entirely recognizing the sound of his own voice.

Nodding in satisfaction, Tsunade stepped back to casually remove her pants as she continued, "First you're going to return the favor I did you."

He nodded in wide-eyed disbelief as a pair of panties slid down her toned leg to pool on the floor around her ankle. She kicked them aside carelessly with one high heel.

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

She smirked, climbing onto the desk to straddle his shoulders without preamble. He was hit in the face with the heady scent of feminine arousal. The sight of her dripping, pink folds made him swallow audibly.

"Eat it, Kakashi," she said, lowering herself onto his face.

She was overwhelming; slightly tangy, slightly sweet, slightly salty from the sweat on her thighs. She tasted like sex and women and dirty secrets. Though he couldn't remember the last time he'd done this, he found himself lapping voraciously, sucking up the moisture with unparalleled greed. He licked from the creases of her thighs, running his lips down her slit; he rolled his tongue over the sensitive pink nub above her entrance. She groaned above him, squirming, rocking her hips freely against his face without any regard for his comfort whatsoever. Breathing was becoming increasingly difficult, but Kakashi didn't care. He tickled and teased and sucked until her legs tightened around his ears, her steady breath coming now in broken pants and gasps. When he dipped his agile muscle into her core, she clenched around him, body trembling with her impending orgasm. He buried his nose against her clit while he thrust his tongue in deep. She came on his face with a cry, and he slurped her juices up hungrily.

She leaned back, riding out the last of her spasms and collecting herself while allowing him some air. Finally she spoke: "That was good, Kakashi. That was really good."

Bizarrely, he felt himself hardening again at her praise. She noticed and grinned. "I like that response, Hatake. You were well behaved for a change, so I'm going to give you your reward now."

Excitement spiked through his veins. His heart rate became frantic as he watched her scoot back to position herself over his aching cock. She grabbed it in one powerful fist and pumped him up and down a few times, running her thumb across his leaking slit. Kakashi groaned, tilting his head back.

"You have my permission to ask for what you want, Kakashi," she drawled, watching him with interest.

"Please, Hokage-sama," he bit out, strained.

"Be more specific," she ordered, twisting her wrist in that particular way of hers.

"Please fuck me, Hokage-sama," he growled, too far gone to even realize what he was saying.

"With pleasure," she purred, sinking onto him.

Kakashi's back would have arched at the sensation, the incredible tight heat, if he could. But maddeningly, he was powerless to move. He lay under her, utterly passive, unable to wriggle, thrust, or do anything to ease the terrible pressure between his legs. She controlled the whole process, gliding up and down his length at her leisure. He desperately wanted to seize her hips, to make her speed up, but she seemed to sense his frustration and was taking it purposefully too slow.

She rode his cock languidly, breasts bouncing with each deliberate thrust. "Would you like to participate more, Kakashi?" she asked, a dangerous grin breaking across her face.

"Yes please, Hokage-sama, please," Kakashi nodded frantically, reduced to a puddle of helpless longing from her teasing.

Tsunade casually reached forward and pulled the senbon from his neck in one swift motion.

It was truly a testament to how far down the rabbit hole Kakashi had fallen that it didn't even occur to him to run. Instead, he immediately grabbed the curve of her hips with both hands, rocking against her furiously.

In a flash, she snatched his wrists away in one hand and pinned them to the desk with chakra. She used her free hand to slap his face. Kakashi stilled at the unexpected stinging in his cheek, wide-eyed.

"You are not to touch without permission," she hissed, cowing him. She glared at him for a good long moment before she was satisfied, and resumed her swiveling motion.

Kakashi let out a low, pained moan.

Tsunade must have taken pity on him at the sound, because she eventually released his wrists. "You may touch my breasts," she offered, reaching up to widen the gap of her robe. Kakashi's hands beat her to it, yanking the fabric apart to reveal two large, creamy globes and stiff pink nipples. He stared.

"Do you have any idea how many ninja across the shinobi world have dreamed of witnessing the sight you are now privy to?" she asked, speeding up. Kakashi could only stare blankly, mesmerized by the rise and fall of the impressive mounds. She rolled her eyes. "Go on, touch them."

He hesitatingly complied, as though almost afraid they weren't real. But once his palms grazed the smooth flesh, he lost himself, running his hands everywhere. He cupped them, jiggled them, twisted her nipples until she gasped. He sat up beneath her to press them to his face in all their glory, inhaling the scent of her skin. He took one soft swell into his mouth as she ground against his lap.

They both cried out together when the new angle hit a spot deep within Tsunade. Kakashi released her breasts and leaned back on his hands, thrusting his hips up against her with increasing need. Tsunade's eyes fluttered close, and Kakashi sensed her moment approaching again.

"Hokage-sama, may I change positions?"

She nodded curtly once, deep in concentration. Kakashi wasted no time in grabbing her hips and lifting her off him. He scrambled off the desk to a standing position and seized her around the waist, pulling her to the edge. He ran his tip along her soaking slit before plunging back in, making her groan.

He took her violently, shaking the desk with the force of his thrusts and rattling the pictures on the walls. Loose papers fluttered to the floor as the Hokage gripped the edge of her desk, rocking back against Kakashi's relentless movements with all her might. The wood splintered beneath her fingertips but she didn't notice. She tensed around him, walls tightening and ears ringing. Kakashi's thrusts became less rhythmic as well as they careened towards the finish line together.

Tsunade got their first, threatening to take him over the edge with her when she clenched down hard, legs hooking around his waist to trap him where she wanted him. He held on by the skin of his teeth, knowing he couldn't climax without permission. As her spasms subsided, she opened her eyes to see Kakashi half-mad with need.

"Please, Hokage-sama, can I come?" he begged.

"Not in me," she said sharply. "On my breasts."

Kakashi could have cried.

He pulled out just in time, for two strokes of his hand later glorious white ribbons streamed out onto the Godaime's chest. Some got in her hair, and a little on her clothes, but she didn't seem to mind. He stared at his cum in awe as it dribbled down her curves. Neither moved for a moment, recovering their breath.

"Hand me a towel," she eventually sighed, the command lacking the usual bite.

Kakashi obeyed without thinking, looking around the destroyed office for something she could use. His thoughts were sluggish in his head, limbs heavy and sated. Eventually he spotted his own pants on the paper-covered floor and offered them to her wordlessly. He sat down in his previous chair with a thump, unable to move anymore.

Tsunade wiped herself off with the cloth, spending a moment longer on her hair to make sure it didn't dry like that. It was only after she's scrubbed herself clean that she realized she just wasted the semen sample. Her head snapped up to glare at Kakashi.

"Dammit Hatake, why didn't you remind me?!" she barked. His head lolled to the side, mouth open, chest rising and falling with steady breath. Faint snoring reached her ears.

The Godaime Hokage cracked a smile against her will. There were worse things than a wasted sample or two. Now she had an excuse to demand a repeat performance from him sometime.

Tsunade was a notoriously unlucky gambler, but she bet that next time the Copy-nin would be more willing to follow her orders.

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A/N: So what did you think? Now accepting suggestions/challenges for pairings and situations you've never seen but always wanted to read! PM me or leave a review with your requests~!

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UPDATE: Next up by request, AsumaIno (sentimental)! Followed by, KabuSaku (creepy, fetishistic)! Eventually, yaoi/yuri...of some kind! I swear it will happen at some point!