Disclaimer: I do not own Homestuck or its characters. They belong to the OTP-crushing, murdering Andrew Hussie.
Your name is Karkat Vantas and you have been hiding for so long, hiding from the truth about your blood color. But now, there is no need to hide, anymore. They are coming to get you in an hour for your execution. Friends come by to see you, all upset, not even caring that you are a beast; a mutant. They're all so upset and crying and it disgusts you. Disgusts you, knowing they are crying for something as small as your death.
And all you can do is think that it might have been better, if Sollux hadn't stopped you, all those years ago, from hurting yourself. From cutting too deep. If it wasn't for him, you wouldn't be dealing with the people you love the most, cry over something so stupid.
You sit and watch as they confess every last thing to you. Nepeta loved you. Terezi wanted for you to just be happy. Gamzee wanted you to smile. Sollux wished you would have talked to him more. All of them. They were so sad.
They have come to take you to your death and you give each of your friends a kiss on the cheek and tell them you love them before they drag you away. You can't see any of your friends in the crowd. You're glad. You don't want to see them cry, ever again, although you know they are still there. People scream and yell, waiting to see your blood spilled all over but you can't find it in you to care enough. All that is inside of you is regret and relief.
Regret for not telling Nepeta that you love her too, sooner. Regret for not being happy for Terezi. Regret for not smiling for Gamzee. Regret for not sitting down and telling Sollux all of your god damn problems. Regret for being yourself.
But the relief is great. Relief from all of the pain you have gone through. Relief from the troubles that fill your body. Relief from the pain you not only cause yourself, but others around you. Relief that it's finally over and you don't have to hide, anymore.
You are pushed off the block you were standing on and the rope tightens around your neck and your air supply is cut off. You don't even try gasping for air or trying, just fall limp and try to smile, at least once, for everybody that wishes they could have seen that smile grace your face. That smile that has only shown itself when you were alone, remembering everybody and the things they do or say.
A smile for the ones that will never forget.
A smile for the ones that love you.
And a smile for the ones that you love.
You are now Sollux Captor and your best friend was just hung because of something as stupid as the color of his blood. Mustard tears flow down your cheeks as soon as he falls because you're to let them fall earlier to be strong for everybody around you, but fuck did you want to cry. You want to lock yourself up and curl into a small ball in the corner of the room and lock everybody out. You want to kill the people that did this. You want Karkat to still be here to tell you to stop wallowing in your pity for him and live your life, but Gog you can't do that. Not without him…
You are now Gamzee Makara and your moirail just got executed. You're not sure what you're supposed to be feeling, right now, but what you do feel is unimaginable rage. You feel like breaking down and crying your eyes out while killing every single troll in sight. You want the pain of his disappearance to go away. You want him to come back and yell at you for eating too much spoor slime and for drinking too much faygo. But even if he was back, he couldn't yell at you for that. Because for once, in your life, you are sober. The rage takes control again, and you are ready to lunge for anything, just to kill, to feel their blood slipping through your fingers as they scream for their lives. You want to kill the people who cheer for the death of him. You begin forward but a hand on your arm and a voice ringing in your ears stops you. "It's not worth it." Nepeta.
You are now Nepeta Leijon and your flushed crush that might have been returned was just killed. Unlike everybody else, you don't feel anything. You are numb and it's probably because what just happened hasn't hit you yet. But when it does, you won't be yourself, anymore. His voice is bouncing around in your head. "Love you too…" That was the last thing he said to you, before he left. He whispered it to you when he gave you a kiss. You didn't bother hiding the crack in your voice as you called out his name and reached for him, as the others stopped you from getting too close that you would get hurt, yourself. You wanted to keep going, though. You wanted to rip from their grips and run to him. Make sure he wouldn't leave.
Your name is now Terezi Pyrope and Jesus fuck you can't breathe. You can't breathe and you are dizzy and shit. The people around you are screaming, in joy and happiness and it sickens you. Fuck. You need to get away. You need to breathe but wait, how do you breathe, again? Just suck in some air, right? Why isn't it working!? Oh my Gog… A hand on your shoulder calms you, slightly and a breath is pulled in your chest. Karkats gone… The words don't sound right. They sound wrong and yet right at the same time… Fuck! You can feel tears streaming down your face like they're rivers and you can't breathe again. Great. You start to move away, but the hand from before stops you. Smells like honey. They pull you to their chest and pat your back. It feels nice and for a second, you can just imagine its Karkat with his arms wrapped around you, telling you he won't go anywhere. Reality is back in play and you let out a strangled cry, probably bringing to attention from a few other trolls around you, but you don't care. You just want him back, again…
Your name is now… Wait, what is your name, again? How could you forget your name? Must be something with the death or something. It's different than you thought. You weren't expecting much but the sudden warmth and light that envelopes you is weird and you realize that it feels like a pair of arms are around you, but you're dead so that can't be possible… What…? As soon as you realize what's really happening, it's gone and you're in another place.
Gamzee is in front of you and there are scratches along his face that look like they're from Nepeta and different colored blood is splattered all over him and you're patting his face and 'shooshing' him. Another flash and you're talking to Sollux while he's telling you not to run a code that he sent you, but fuck that, you run it anyways. And a fucking hole is blown in your fucking wall.
Another flash and you are roleplaying with Nepeta over Pesterchum. Her messages are so happy and since you are alone, you smile. Funny how something so small as her happiness could make you smile. Another flash before you can stop it and Terezi is in front of you in her cape and boxers with scalemates all over them. She looks drunk and you feel sad for some reason but you can't remember why. Another flash and it ends. You are sent into a pit of black and you feel like you're falling.
Guess this means it's the end…
But… You're not ready to die…
Fuck, you're not ready to die… But since when has life ever cared if you're ready or not? Just have to accept it…
You close your eyes and there is another flash. Your friends are all gathered around, waving and smiling, although the smiles don't reach their eyes that are flooding with tears of different colors. They're waving goodbye to you, you realize. You try to wave back, but you can't. The vision ends there.
You open your eyes again, and it's still dark and black, but you don't care, because the vision of your friends smiling at you burns in the back of your mind. And again, for the second time that day, you smile and let the tears that you have been holding in flood out and fall away.
A/N: Oh cod… I can't even remember when I wrote this…!
I just found it in the back of one of my journals…
Have a nice day and or night, kind sir and or madam~!