Coming For To Carry Me Home
Disclaimer: the BBC own all I am & all I write.
Author's Note: Apologies about the sporadic updating, real life is being busy & I am easily distracted. But many thanks to everyone who is following this story and/or left a review. It means a lot. Hope y'all enjoy…
"Mels, come on." Amy sighed deeply as she sat down on her friend's bed, dropping the book she'd been reading as she did.
"No." Mels replied quickly. "It's stupid and boring and pointless."
"It's your future." Amy countered. "It's not pointless."
"It's a stupid exam, and yes it is." Mels rolled her eyes and folded her arms like a petulant child.
"It's your GCSEs and if you fail them then you'll never be able to get into college." Amy continued sternly.
"I don't want to go to college." Mels huffed, turning away from where here friend sat and walking to the other end of the small room before being confronted by a closed door and realising there was no escape. "Why would I want to go to another school when I've finally got a chance to escape the one I've been stuck in all my life?"
"Oh I don't know, because that's what people do? What actual real people who want to get a job do." Amy growled in annoyance.
"I suppose I'm just not a real person then." Mels sighed as she paced up and down, getting more and more anxious as she did.
"Right, that's it. I'm calling Rory." Amy shook her head as she pulled her mobile out of her pocket. "Maybe he can talk some sense into you and get you to do some bloody revision!"
"Oh God, don't call the boffin." Mels rolled her eyes as she tried to make her voice sufficiently sarcastic to hide her real emotions. Don't call him. She begged internally. Please don't call him. Amy was her friend. Amy was her everything. And although Amy got cross with her, frustrated or annoyed with her, Amy understood. So she let Amy know everything about her life. Rory, though, she pushed away. She teased him and acted as if he wasn't worth her time because she was afraid she would (that she did) disappoint him. Clever Rory. Kind Rory. Rory couldn't know how much of a fuckup she was.
"Fine. I won't. But will you please sit down and do some revision with me?" Amy pleaded.
"Sure you don't wanna just go get smashed instead?" She grinned hopefully. "I'm sure I've got a bottle of cider lying around here somewhere."
"Oh would just… Could you… I don't even know what to do with you!" Amy flung her arms up in the air in defeat.
"Don't say things like that!" Mels snapped. "You're not my-" She stopped herself mid-sentence. You're not my mum. That was what she told herself when she fought with Amy- when her words hurt her. It was what she told herself when Amy was being so kind to her that she couldn't stand it. It was what she told herself when Amy became protective of her. Because Amy was just being her friend- a friend was all she could be. A mother couldn't be a mother before she'd given birth, before she'd even had sex. A mother couldn't be a mother when she didn't know she had a child. As much as she wanted Amy to be her mother she had to accept that she couldn't be, not yet, not at this point. She was an echo of her mother.
"Not your what?" Amy asked, her face creased in confusion.
"Nothing. Doesn't matter." Mels mumbled as she turned away quickly to hide the shame creeping across her face. She absentmindedly began to turn the pages of the books that lay untouched on the table- the ones her friend had been trying to get her to read all day. A piece of paper fluttered out and landed on the floor by her feet. She sighed. She knew exactly what this would be. Some plea from him to get her to do her exams, to study hard and be a normal girl. She looked at it with disgust. That man wasn't going to convince her of anything. She didn't want to know what he had to say. It wouldn't make any difference any way.
"Bugger." She muttered under her breath as she bent down to pick it up. Her curiosity, as ever, had got the better of her. Quickly she scanned the untidy writing she knew so well.
I'm not going to lecture you and tell you to take your exams, that they're important or that you'll regret it later. You know all that. What I will tell you is that I'm going to take every exam you take. I'll let you know what grades I get when we're done. So, come on then, Miss Cleverclogs. I bet you can't beat me.
Mels scowled. Then she grinned. She began to laugh.
"What, what is it?" Amy asked, concerned at her friend's peculiar behaviour.
"I just… I think I'll study now. And take the exams, I guess." Mels smiled.
"It was him, wasn't it?" Amy asked angrily. "I try for weeks, months, to get you to take it seriously and one word from a guy you've never met and you're all up for it. Is that how this works?"
"He didn't tell me to do it." Mels said quietly.
"So what did he say? What magic words did he use to make you change your mind?" Amy asked stonily.
"He said he didn't think I could do it." Mels admitted with a smirk.
"Well…" Amy said finally as she passed her friend a heavy book. "I cannot believe I didn't think of that."
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