Multiversing with Harems

Chapter Thirteen


He had a daughter called Namabunta.

He really hadn't wished to know that.

"Yo pops," his daughter's giant voice echoed through the forest. "You called?"

"Ehm," he chuckled nervously. "Where's the Toad's boss?"

"You mean mom?" no, he didn't mean 'mom'. He meant the Toad's boss. He refused to believe in Gamabunta being 'mom'.

"He's jumping around with Namakichi," she shrugged, the movement making Naruto nearly lose his step. "They've been talking."

"I see," Naruto chuckled nervously.

"LET DADDY GO!" twin furious screams echoed as a giant wave of sand crashed against Namabunta, sending her to tumble on the ground. As Naruto flapped his arms in a mock-attempt at flight, he realized his daughter was wearing a Fundoshi, rather than a normal pair of trousers.

She looked —except of course for her green skin— as a well built and muscled girl, quite a bit of scars covering her entire body as the result of a harsh training.

"You brats!" the giant toad-girl retorted with a snarl, grabbing her pipe and slamming it back on the giant sand rendition of the Ichibi, albeit this one had two heads rather than one, both with colored lines.

One of the heads was deep purple lined, while the other held the reddish colors of Gaara's hair.

As Naruto began to fall in the midst of the battle, he was grabbed against by the perverted Namaru, who dived in just in time.

"Let's go father! Nanno was just waiting for you!"

"Wait, Nanno?"

"Yeah, Nanno! She said she wanted to try some new health system with leeches and…"

"Drop me," he stated simply. "Drop me here or I'm going down myself," he supplied.

His eyes narrowed on the horizon.

That was Wave, wasn't it?

He could even see the completed bridge…and was that a statue they had built for him?

As Namaru landed, removing the contraption that granted flight at the same time, Naruto breathed in the salty air of the village he had helped survive and fight back against Gato.

"See this? I'm awesome 'ttebayo!" he exclaimed pointing at the statue.

"Are you trying to ignore my previous words, father?" Namaru queried with a curious voice.

"It can't hurt me what I'm forcefully ignoring from existence!" he yelled back. "As long as I don't believe in it, it won't become real! Nanana! Not listening!"

"Father! Stop being such a child, really!" she exclaimed. Naruto just shrugged, before starting to run towards the old drunken Tazuna house.

He stopped at the doorway however, his hand already poising to knock.

What if there was a Nazuna?

Could he take that hit?

His mind already filled with the images of a drunken girl with whisker cheeks and swinging her booze in a ceramic bottle.

He couldn't withstand that now, could he?

He couldn't.

He spun around, already regretting having descended, when a form tackled him from the side.

"Daddy you came!" the squealing sound of a young girl with bright wide blue eyes and whisker marks only added to the overall cuteness of her bright blond hair tied in a single pony-tail. "I'm Nanari!" she cheerfully said, before purring contently against his chest.

"Nanari?" he croaked out.

"Yeah! You came back! Mom turned into a man you know? But I changed her right back!" as she happily squealed that, something within Naruto broke as he stood up. Especially when he heard a sharp high-pitched scream.

"YOU BASTARD!" he spun just in time to see Inari —with longer brown hair and a skirt— knee-cap him in the face before slamming him on the ground. "CHANGE. ME. BACK. It isn't funny!"

"Mommy!" Nanari squeaked. "Don't fight with Daddy!"

"I'm not into this!" Inari yelled. "Come on! Do something Naruto! You can't tell me you…you…" Inari's female form had…well…breasts.

His eyes were actually captivated by the melon-sized things which didn't seem to be held by anything similar to a bra.

"Oh hell!" Inari squeaked with her high-pitched female voice, clasping her hands over her chest. "I lost the bandages again!" there were tears on the boy-girl face now. "Please," she whimpered. "Change me back."

"Now mommy! You have to kiss daddy like you do every time he comes back and you two fight," Nanari replied seriously…as seriously as a five year old could. "Everything will be better afterwards."

The image of him kissing Inari…

Naruto turned green and began to wobble towards the pier.

"Wait! Naruto-kun?" a female motherly voice reached his ears, as he turned just in time to see Tsunami coming out with a basket full with laundry —trailing behind her a sort of Tsunami-clone, down to the hair color. The only differences were a slightly lower height and whisker marks.

"Nanami?" he asked, already defeated in his tone.

"Yes," the girl cheerfully said.

"You know, Naruto-kun," Tsunami began hesitantly, biting her lower lip. "I think…you grew up well in these years."

Naruto blinked.

"MOM!? THAT'S DISGUSTING!" Inari screamed just as Namaru pounced on Naruto, a kunai out and striking a defensive pose.

"Nanari! Begin operation Milf removal!"

"Aye!" and then, just as the girl dropped down a smoke-bomb, Naruto acted.

Knocking out Namaru by aiming at her pressure point in the neck, the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi ran forward to grasp Tsunami.

"Oh my!" the woman exclaimed, as the blond haired boy held her bridal style before running through the bridge.

"Sorry for the mess!" he told her, the words stammered out. "I've been having quite a hectic week."

"I can understand that," Tsunami giggled. "But I wasn't finished back there, Naruto-kun," Tsunami whispered sultrily. "I think you and I can work, you know? And our daughter is such a polite thing! Always helping out doing the laundry and—"

And Naruto dropped her to the side of the bridge.

"Cool your menopause whims in the water lady!" Naruto screamed. "My heart's set on a single girl!"

Tsunami screamed as she fell down in the cold water of the Land of the Rivers' country. Half of fear…the other half of rage. She had never been dumped that way!

Somehow, somewhere, a group of readers screamed not only as the fourth wall was broken, but also at the fact that Naruto was so much of an idiot he had passed up on a perfectly acceptable woman.

The screams were heard even as Naruto kept on going headstrong towards his objective: somewhere safe to rest and eat.

After all, if he kept on ignoring the advances of girls like he had done for the past years, especially after saving said girls lives…he had a chance.

A chance at being left in peace.

The brief glance at Nazuna going back home from work, drunk and with a slightly bald hair was enough to make Naruto actually ignore where he was going.

So by the time he realized he had gone in the wrong direction…

He was already halfway towards Iwa.

It just wasn't his day.

Author's notes.

And another is out! Take the crack while it's fresh! Claim the crack! Claim it! We are not done yet adding girls! They are coming!