Sirens Scream Green

Batman

Summary: Harley, Selina, and Ivy are back together ready to take on Gotham once again. Though with Selina's clandestine affairs with Bats and Harley's with the Joker cause the girls more drama for them than expected. Will Ivy be able to deal with her increasing feelings of frustration or will someone change her perspective of men? Hint: Cat/Bat,Harl/Jokes,Ivy/Riddles

I would probably specify this as Gotham City Sirens-esque? Sigh... so it's an inspired Fan Fic, I guess. Honestly I don't want to specify completely cause there's so many Unis to keep track with what goes with what. That's why I just categorized it simply under Batman. X_X. Okay this fan fic is totally well... GURLY! If this was a movie it would fall under the chick-flick category. HEY! I'm not saying this isn't Batman or Batman universe cause it is. It's not a cross over or anything... I'm just writing about my three favorite behtches I'm sorry ladies and adding some drama to their lives cause lets face it we all suckers for the drama. Okay so I hope you like it. Enjoy.

Chapter 1: Reunion

Ivy relaxed as she walked in front of the location that Harley and Catwoman promised to meet at. From the outside the small run-down bungalow looked abandon and quite unsavory. She walked up to the wooden fence with white paint chipping off from weathering through time. Ivy pressed her thigh forward opening the small gate blocking her path. The gate creaked for a moment before falling to the ground completely. She sighed as she walked over the broken gate door and continued up the small pathway, which led to a few steps that led to a decent size covered porch. She heard her steps pounding against the wood as she eyed near a dirty window by the door which wasn't broken to her surprise. Ivy placed her hands in her trench coat's pocket and pulled out a key that was mailed to her. She slipped the key into the lock and turned. The door unlocked with the sound of a click but the door was still hard to open as the wood had expanded. Ivy pressed hard against the door and finally it opened. She swayed into the dark living room.

"Hello?" Ivy asked out. There was no reply. The house remained quiet as Ivy searched for the light hoping the electric was at least working. She found an old table lamp, without a shade on top of an old wooden television. She grabbed the black switch and turned. The light bulb turned on softly illuminating the room. Ivy looked around the room once more. The room looked like it belonged to a very poor college student. Ivy scoffed as she shook her head. She walked toward the next room which was a dining room with a small round table and two chairs. Ivy rolled her eyes as she turned into the kitchen; a fridge, stove, sink and decent counter space. She saw another room which looked like a sun room and door that probably led to the basement. The house was starting to become a bit more decent. Ivy walked back into the living room passed another half closed door, which she figured was a bathroom and made it up the stairs. The room to her front was another bathroom. Ivy turned into the small hall.

"Three bedrooms," she said to herself as she looked around each room briefly. Only one had a bed another just a mattress. Ivy stepped into the master bedroom and smiled. She took off her coat and tossed it on the floor. "This one is mine..." she said with a small grin. There was a sudden creak from behind.

"Hold it right there!" a familiar voice threatened from behind. Ivy raised her arms alarmed as she turned.

"Harley?!" Ivy scolded as her face scrunched up. Harley lowered her dummy gun and smiled.

"Red?" Harley questioned happily.

"Who else?" Ivy replied simply. Harley launched herself forward and grabbed Ivy embracing her with a friendly hug.

"Red! I'm glad ya made it!" Harley said letting go smiling looking up at her. Ivy got a closer look at Harley she was all dressed up in her costume.

"Why Harley what have you been up to?" Ivy asked with a small smile. Harley grinned.

"Oh ya know the usual," Harley said simply. Ivy perked a brow. "So how have you been doin'?" Harley asked as she turned around and exited the room.

"Well... just lurking around," Ivy said simply as well.

"Ah-ha so you like the new place? Me and Selina picked it out a few weeks ago," Harley said as she looked around the other two rooms. Ivy grimaced a bit, her and Selina were already hanging out together without her. Harley stepped into the middle one and looked out the window. "Ya know I'm kind of partial to the middle room, it's closet to the bathroom too," she said to Ivy who was following her around quietly.

"Well the big one is mine, let's hope Selina won't have a problem with that," Ivy said crossing her arms. Ivy caught the undertones of jealousy in her own voice as she turned around and exited the room.

"I gotta use the restroom," Harley said as she followed Ivy out and headed toward the bathroom by the stairs. Harley slammed the door a few seconds later Harley made a noise.

"Awe...crap! There's no toilet paper!" Harley cried. "Ivy can ya find me some toilet paper, pa-lease!" Harley cried through the door. Ivy sighed as she made her way downstairs.

"Fine!" Ivy yelled unenthusiastically. Ivy found some paper towels on the kitchen counter and brought some up to Harley. Soon Harley was done and the sound of sink faucets pouring meant she was going to come out soon. Ivy leaned near the door frame.

"So Red ya didn't answer my question earlier, how ya like our new place?" Harley asked loudly through the door. Ivy frowned as she didn't really know what to say.

"Different... I suppose," Ivy said simply. It was the nicest thing she could come up with. "Well it needs some work, a lot of work," Ivy specified.

"Ya I know but it'll give us something to do, ya know?" Harley replied.

"So why a bungalow? Why not a penthouse, a loft, anything decent?" Ivy asked.

"Well Selina and I got to thinkin' we decided to stay away from the typical hideouts and go for something more homely. Something Bats or the pigs will least suspect," Harley added as sounds of water splashing made Ivy realize the reason why Harley took so long. Ivy glanced around briefly.

"You sure got that right," Ivy replied back. A shadow crept up toward the front door and a distinctive silhouette could be seen against the moonlight. Catwoman stepped in cautiously looking around. She suddenly snapped her head up and smiled.

"Why Pamela... so nice to see ya, girl!" Catwoman said as she crossed her arms relaxing. Suddenly the door opened and Harley stuck out her pigtail dripping wet face.

"Selina!" Harley yelled out happily. Catwoman smiled as she raised her arms expectantly. Harley dashed down the stairs and ran into Catwoman's arms. Ivy's eyes widen as she stopped leaning against the door frame and casually made her way down the stairs. Harley was all smiles as she grabbed Selina's hand and looked back up at Ivy. "Yay! We're back together again!" Harley cheered as she pulled Selina closer toward the center of the room. "Come on Red, move ya butt!" Harley demanded as Ivy was taking her sweet time down the stairs. Ivy finally took her last step and Harley grabbed Ivy's hand as well. She placed Ivy's and Selina's hand on top of one another, before placing hers on top of theirs.

"What are you doing, Harley?" Ivy realized.

"C'mon it'll be fun just this once!" Harley begged. Ivy grinned as she looked up at Selina who smirked back and nodded.

"Oh alright" Ivy agreed.

"Okay..." Harley paused to clear out her throat. "Gotham City watch out! Cause you're lovely sirens are back in town to cause some fun and you-know-what to Gotham! WOOO!" she yelled as raised her hand and Ivy and Selina did the same as they started chuckling at Harley's half baked cheer and her demeanor.

"Damn Harl whats got you all riled up?" Selina asked as she lowered her arm. Harley smiled as shrugged playfully.

"Oh you know..." she said simply. Selina crossed her arms raised a brow as she glanced back at Ivy who did the same.

"Well go on spill it!" Selina demanded. Harley cupped her hands together like a love-sick bird and sighed, smiling wide. Selina nodded. "Oh I see now," she said with a smile as she turned to close the front door which had been open the whole time.

"Yeah..." Harley simply replied as she twirled back happily.

"Well it looks like I'm not the only one who got a little lovin today," Selina unleashed. Both Ivy and Harley's mouth dropped.

"Ya mean?" Harley asked as she sat down on the floor. Selina rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"No," she said simply as she took off her whip and placed it by the lamp. "I was just acquiring a little bit of extra funds... as you can see we clearly need it," Selina noted.

"You can say that again," Ivy added.

"Yes, well anyways on my way towards a jewelry store, I ran into tall, dark, and Batsome," Selina said with a smile. She leaned against the only chair in the room armrest and started taking off her boots. "He had been givin' the chase by a few petty thieves who try to hit up the same store."

"So I'm taking it we don't have those extra funds," Ivy butted in.

"Shhh!" Harley hushed Ivy who looked back at her irritated as she crossed her arms.

"Nope we don't but afterwards I helped Batman round up those petty thieves, we had ourselves a little us time," she said kicking off the other boot. "He gave me a ride in his Batmobile if you know what I mean," Catwoman hinted.

"Nope explain!" Harley demanded.

"Well that car can really drive it's self," Catwoman hinted once again. Ivy scoffed.

"Oh come off it, did you-" Ivy started.

"No we didn't well I tried anyways but you know how Batman is..." Catwoman replied.

"So what did ya do?" Harley asked confused. Catwman sighed.

"We just kissed... a lot," she said playfully. "The first one was long, passionate, and fiery," Catwoman said her eyes elsewhere. Harley grinned happily.

"Oooh!" Harley cheered happily for Catwoman's moment. Ivy leaned against the wall smirking.

"So Harley... enough with the mystery how was your night?" Selina asked distracting the heat away from her. Harley sighed.

"Ahh, well lately puddin' has been really swell, haven't got smacked in like three weeks!" Harley said happily. "I think it's because I told him I'll be hangin' around you guys for a while, that's why," Harley said.

"And?" Selina pushed. Harley blushed.

"And what else we knocked boots!" Harley squealed as she clapped happily. Selina nodded as she suspected the reason why Harley was more bubbly than usual. Ivy rolled her eyes as she shook her head. She really didn't like the Joker even though she respected him as a fellow colleague of crime. Though the way he pushes Harley around caused Joker to get on her bad side.

"Well I'm glad you getting some because someone has to get some around here, don't you think so Ivy?" Selina said entering the dining room making her way toward the phone.

"Ivy doesn't have a beau, Selina," Harley pointed out the obvious.

"Anyone want some take out? I think I want some pizza," Selina said.

"Nostalgic much?" Ivy asked. Selina grinned as she reached the phone and started dialing.

"I don't know something about this house reminds me of my childhood. Wish I had one," she added, as the phone started ringing. "Quick what you guys want?" Selina asked.

"Slumber party!" Harley yelled as she sat up.

"You know I don't eat meat," Ivy said simply.

"You won't but Barney your carnivorous plant will? Oh hi I'd like two large pizzas, one with sausage, pepperoni, olives, onions, mushrooms, bell peppers-"

"Pineapple!" Harley added.

"Oh... can you make one of the pizzas half Pineapple half anchovies?" Selina asked. "Oh-kay good and the other pizza add all your veggies on it, no meat," Selina said smiling. "Ah-ha, ah-hu, good! Okay our address, 1266 Lincoln Avenue. Yes, thirty minutes? Okay oh can you add some drinks and cups and some napkins? You can good okay, okay bye bye," Selina hung up the phone.

"You really think I can eat a whole pizza by myself?" Ivy asked in shock.

"You got really thick thighs," Selina teased. Ivy's jaw clamped tight as her green skin had hints of crimson.

"Okay... since this our first night here I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," Ivy released coolly.

Twenty minutes later, Selina returned from the corner store carrying back a bag full of liquor and daiquiri mix. The door slammed open as she kicked it with her bare foot.

"Are you ladies ready to party?!" Selina announced. Both Harley and Ivy nodded. Harley fist pumped as she jumped.

"Yay you brought the good stuff!" Harley shouted as she ran toward the bag and opened it. Selina held on the the other half.

"I bought a cherry limeade daiquiri for you Harl," Selina said bringing it out to Harley and I bought six Kiwi Limes for you Ivy.." Selina said sincerely. Ivy's eyes widen. "I'm sorry about that comment I made back there," Selina said with a frown. Ivy snapped her head back pushing her red hair back haughtily then smiled.

"It takes a real woman to swallow her pride," Ivy said a she grabbed one of the Kiwi Limes. "Apology accepted," she said opening it up. Harley was already sucking the frozen alcoholic drink as she tipped her head back. Soon the pizza man arrived as there was knock on the door.

"Oooh I'll get it!" Harley said making her way toward the door.

"You're still in costume I'll get it," Ivy said pushing Harley back down.

"You're green," Selina said as she got up as well. Ivy stopped for a second and tried to concentrate on returning her color back to a normal pigment. Selina waited for a second but Ivy grimaced as she turned into a pale shade of greenish white.

"You're right... too hungry to concentrate, you do it," Ivy admitted defeat. Selina opened the door happily as she placed the money between her cleavage. Harley choked on her daiquiri as she muffled her giggling. Ivy smiled broadly amused by Selina's antics.

"Why thank you, sir," Selina said seductively as she grabbed the bag full of soda, cups, napkins, and other condiments," there was some hesitation as the man slowly handed Selina the pizza boxes.

"Uhhh," the man barely managed to let out.

"Go on now... don't be shy," Selina grinned leaning in practically bending over.

"I-I are you sure?" the man asked. Selina nodded. The guy quickly grabbed the money from Selina's cleavage and gulped. Both Ivy and Harley were laughing loudly now.

"Thanks see ya later," Selina said as she slammed the door shut and turned. A few minutes later they were stuffing their faces as they continued to talk about what they've been doing the past few months. All three ladies were having a good time as they drank and laughed with each other.

"Look Ivy you ate six pieces you practically ate a pizza," Harley pointed out. Ivy blushed once again as Harley was right.

"Shut up, Harl," Ivy scolded. Both Selina and Harley leaned back laughing. Ivy rolled her eyes as she took a sip from her daiquiri. Harley and Selina where both drinking Jack and Soda, and were starting to become obviously drunk.

"Ah ha ha ha you actually got you hands on Bat's what?" Harley asked in shock. Selina nodded.

"Yeah, sure did," Selina admitted.

"I can't believe you did that! Let me take it back... did it like that!" Harley shouted out taking another sip of her drink. Ivy sat against the wall feeling a bit left out. "Hey Ivy did ya hear that?" Harley asked Ivy who just nodded with a small smile. Harley's mouth stopped smiling as she noticed Ivy's attitude.

"Oh don't feel bad Red just 'cause you haven't found SOMEBODY! Anybody?! Help!" Harley yelled out playfully pretending to choke herself. Selina started laughing out loud again. Ivy rolled her eyes and grimaced. Harley calmed herself again. "Okay okay well Red think bout it...people are just walking bags of meat and flesh to you wandering around the earth destroying rain forests and stuff," Harley blurted. Selina gasped.

"Harley you sounded smart," she said without thinking. Harley nodded.

"It's been known to happen," Harley said smugly. "My point is Red..how you're suppose to even like much less love another person when you think so lowly of the human race?" Harley continued. Selina quieted down listening to Harley seriously.

"I do not... I mean I don't think that about you guys," Ivy clarified, playing with her daiquiri, feeling quite pressured. Harley and Selina gave Ivy a look of disbelief. "It's true I don't think that about you two... though most of the human race deserves it," Ivy justified.

"Well I don't get it, I mean you practically own the male species and most of the female species as well. You're pheromones is such a great ability," Selina admired taking a bite of cold pizza. Ivy thought it over for a few seconds.

"I suppose you're right," Ivy sighed. "It's just males are idiotic dogs," Ivy said. "So easy to control and manipulate, no challenge, no respect," Ivy said grudgingly.

"Jeez, Ivy maybe you should just give up and go for women then," Harley said as she took a drink. Ivy smiled.

"Hmm maybe... okay well I guess there are a few things guys are useful for," Ivy admitted turning bright red. Selina pointed at Ivy's face and laughed.

"Ahhh I thought so... see Ivy's still human, after all," Selina said without thinking. Harley chuckled.

"Yet... who knows she still might turn plant again any moment now," Harley said rolling on her back. Ivy stood up angrily.

"Plants need love and affection too," Ivy said bitterly as she made her way up the stairs. Both Selina and Harley were quiet and wide-eyed feeling guilty.

"Sorry Red!" Harley shouted.

"Sorry Pam!" Selina shouted almost the same time as Harley. Ivy pushed her hand away as she continued to climb.

"Yeah yeah, apology accepted," Ivy replied halfheartedly.