"What do you mean I can't file for a restraining order?" The raven haired teen barked, baffled by the court officer. "I can't let you see the judge for a restraining order without your lawyer present. I'm sorry."

"No you're not. All you care about is sitting on your ass and getting paid. You're not sorry about keeping me from the judge at all." He argued, trying his hardest not to punch the man before him.

"Plus, I can't afford a lawyer." The man only shook his head and shrugged. "Dunno what to tell ya then."

They walked out of the court house, deeply upset and disappointed, and headed back to their apartment. Shizuo draped an arm around his boyfriend's shoulders, kissed his forehead and told him that it would be okay.

Though, Izaya knew it wouldn't. Somehow his mother, if he could even call her that anymore, would find a way to take him back and he'll be right back where he started. Back to being used for older men's pleasures, back to depression, back to wanting to die...

His expression saddened greatly when he thought about the night he tried to overdose, how he ran to his dad and had him take him to the hospital. What if he didn't tell his dad at all? What if he just laid there, waiting for the pills to take effect?

The blonde noticed a change in the raven's posture and gently rubbed his shoulder. "We'll think of something. I'll never let her get to you." He reassured, kissing the younger's cheek.

He smiled in return, but still couldn't stop the aching pain in his chest. "Shizuo...could we stop and get something to eat? I'm kinda hungry..." He received a nod in return and they headed over to Russia Sushi, finding it would be best since it was on the way back home. They got a takeout box and headed straight home.

They changed out of their clothes on got into something more comfortable, settled on the bed with the sushi, and turned on some soothing music. Though he was enjoying the silence, Shizuo looked to his quiet lover with some concern.

"You alright?" He questioned, placing a hand on his companion's thigh. Izaya shook his head before wrapping his arms around the blonde's neck, burying his nose in the small space between his arm and the others jawline.

"What would you have done...if I had died that night?" The question had caught him completely off-guard, his boyfriend lightly tightening his grip and shaking as he waited for a response.

"I...probably wouldn't have been able to keep going...I would always miss you and...hell, I wouldn't be able to wake up in the morning...I'd sleep as much as I could just to see you...even if it was just a dream..." He wrapped his arms around the raven's waist, softly stroking his sides as a way of comforting him. The shorter of the two pulled back for a moment, touching foreheads with his lover as small tears rolled down his cheeks.

"If I ever go back to being that way...no matter what I say or do...I want you to help me stop and be happy again..." Shizuo planted a peaceful kiss to the others soft lips.

"I will...I promise I won't let you kill yourself..."

Izaya just continued to hug the blonde, crying quietly into his shoulder.


I feel like...this could have been longer. But at the same time...I like it this way...

Ffffffffffffffffffffffuck...