Note: ::Double dots for Mituna's signs::
The morning air was crisp and cold in Gamzee's lungs as he inhaled deeply, breathing right back out again with a sigh as he headed across the dewy field. Even if he was half asleep, he could appreciate that there was something nice about watching the ghostly mist of his breath dilute into nothing. Maybe it was because it reminded him of getting high? Probably. All those wispy smoke trails that he would watch for hours on end in his trailer would fade in a similar manner. . .Dang those were some good times. Normally such reflections would have been a calming sort of thing, but Gamzee was more than aware of the fact his older sibling was staring daggers into the back of his head.
"Whats up bro? Why the fuck you got such motherfucking hatred flashing up on my ass at this time in the morning?" he yawned, looking up at the narrowed eyes of Kurloz. For someone who usually plastered a creepy smile on his face, he sure knew how to look fucking pissed when he needed to. Especially with his freaky facepaint (who the fuck had the time to paint their face at 8 fucking am?.) Gamzee's earlier question was naturally responded to with nothing but a flurry of signs as Kurloz's fingers contorted into various shapes and gestures.
:BECAUSE YOUR BITCHASS CARCASS IS COCKBLOCKING MY MOTHERFUCKIN RENDESVOUS WITH MITUNA!:
Any novice would find them illegible with the speed they formed, but Gamzee had been reading them long enough to know he wouldn't have the excuse of mis-interpreting them. "Awh shit, I don't mean nothing by it, but its cool if you're flexing your most vicious emotions my way," he shrugged,"A motherfuckers gotta do what he's up and told yo."
This didn't seem to improve his brother's mood in the slightest as they trudged away from the carnival camp and towards a Landrover that was in dire need of a good clean. A huge, beast of a man was stood besides it, puffing on a cigarette and folding his arms when the two brothers approached. Gamzee nudged his sibling in the arm with his elbow as he nodded towards the vehicle. "Dad's up, yo. D'ya reckon he's got shit for the farmer too?"
Kurloz shook his thick head of curly hair before he lifted his hands up in front of him to sign out his response.
:PROBABLY MAKING SURE HE DOESN'T NEED TO SCHOOL YOUR PATHETIC CORPSE ON THE TEACHINGS OF WHY HOMIES GET THE MOTHERFUCK UP WHEN THE HEAD CLOWN HAS ASSIGNMENTS FOR THEM. YOUR LUCK IS UNPARALLELED IN THE SENSE YOUR SHIT-STAIN OF AN EXISTENCE HASN'T BEEN SMOTHERED THE FUCK OUT BY OUR GUARDIAN'S WRATH:
"I'm out of fucking bed ain't I?" he muttered in confusion.
Something of a blank was drawn when Gamzee tried to figure out what in the fuck Kurloz was giving him grief for, until he recalled what had happened the last time that he'd failed to get up. He had slept in once and awoken to Nashir kicking his trailer door in."Oh yeah, man that was real nice of him to get me outta bed like that," he smiled, looking back on the moment. Kurloz rolled his eyes in contempt of his brother's blind acceptance as the two of them neared the land rover and the hulking form of Nashir.
Their self appointed father didn't utter a word at first, simply shoving a bunch of keys towards Kurloz and then narrowing his pale eyes at the pair of them. Perhaps it was best that Gamzee had hauled his ass out of bed after all. Fuck knows he didn't really like pissing the guy off. Not because of the beatings (Kurloz, Nashir and Gamzee fought one another for fun sometimes,) but more because his brothers wouldn't let him forget how badly he'd fucked up for months at a time. Man, those fuckers knew how to hold a grudge.
Kurloz was the first to make contact, giving two simple signs.
"Mornin' Dad"Gamzee chimed, having to look up as he gave a vacant smile. It was met with a cold, uncaring stare and a slight narrowing of Nashir's eyes. Nothing unusual but still enough to make him feel a little bit unnerved even with a attitude as placid as his own. Nashir wasn't one to joke about or throw a smile, although Gamzee knew for a fact that wasn't always true.
"We got three of these shitbags to deliver to the farmer. Get that shit driven down ASAP and don't forget to drop that fucking box down to him either," He growled, narrowing his eyes at the two younger clowns. "Hair and teeth?"
:TAKEN OFF-YOU THINK THIS MIRTHFUL MUTE IS STILL A FUCKIN AMATURE? YOU'RE ALL SORTS OF MISINFORMED: Kurloz signed, looking a little offended as he yanked the car door open, stepping up into the driver's seat without much care as to if there was a response or not. Sadly, he wasn't quick enough to avoid being smacked upside the head. That response had probably expected however, judging by how narrowly Kurloz had almost avoided it. Shame he hadn't ducked in time, not that it did anything to improve the angry growl that rumbled from Nashir.
"Don't make me shut you up for good boy! I WONT BE AS FUCKING GENTLE NEXT TIMEH . . . Getting real motherfucking sick of keeping your ass in line. I already got enough work with runnin' the carnival and keeping that motherfucking toerag of a stoner in line...You got a fucking bag waiting in your trailer Gam, more where those miracles came from if you keep your motherfucking shit together."He growled, shooting a quick glance towards Gamzee, who just remained stood about and smiling vacantly.
"Shit yeah!"He grinned. He had been waiting all week for a fresh load of sopur. About fucking time too, he always got all kinds of edgy when he was running out. Nashir turned and looked as if he was about to head off before he paused, narrowing his pale eyes at the two of them."You didn't make a mess?"
Kurloz let his head fall back in mock laughter, shoulders shaking before he flipped up his middle finger and then signed away.
:WE ENLIGHTENED THOSE PITIFUL HERETICS AS TO WHO NOT TO FUCK WITH. SCHOOLED THEM ON THEIR MISTAKES AND TRANSFORMED THEM INTO MORSELS FOR THE SWINES OF DEATH. YOU KNOW THESE SKILLED DIGITS MADE SUCH A MORBID TASK INTO A MOTHERFUCKIN ARTFORM. MICHELANGELO TUGS HIS DICK IN VICIOUS ENVY OF THE ARTFUL TALENT ME AND THE LITTLE CLOWN GOT GOING ON:
Well fuck, Gamzee was grinning with pride at his sibling's praises and it seemed he wasn't the only one as he watched a slight flash of a smirk on Nashir's face. Even if the hulking brute of a man beat the two of them senseless, Gamzee was always adamant the elder did it for their own good. Some part of him envisioned it like a strict master keeping his hounds sitting and obedient instead of letting them choke themselves on the leash. Fuck knows Gamzee got out of control easily enough, perhaps thats why Nashir was happy to provide him with sopur? So long as stuff got done of course. Why Gamzee functioned better on drugs than off was something of a mystery to him, but both Kurloz and Nashir seemed to agree it was for the best.
"Yeah man, we up and got this shit. Don't worry about a motherfucking thing, Dad" Gamzee smiled, getting a heavy hand ruffling his hair as Nashir walked past.
"Get off then and make the delivery. Drop the motherfucking box off too and then piss the fuck off till tonight," he huffed, nodding at Kurloz and narrowing his eyes at Gamzee. "You two fuckers make sure you're here on Saturday. Got some work for you."
"Sure thing, I haven't got any plans, yo." Gamzee shrugged, watching as Nashir then started trudging off towards the carnival ground."Laters!" he waved, a smile still plastered on his face from the head pat. Nashir was a nasty motherfucker, but Gamzee and Kurloz at least knew of a slightly softer side. Just watching him now made memories flood into his head.A fourteen year old nashir trying to teach subjects the eldest didn't fully understand, raising them as best as he could even if it was with harsh words and a fist.
He must have been waving for a small while as Kurloz suddenly beeped the horn, scaring Gamzee shitless. "MOTHERFU-Bitch! Imma motherfucking stitch your fingers together!" he snarled, slamming his fist against the Landrover as he started to walk around the front.
:GET THE FUCK IN AND SILENCE YOUR INCESSANT BITCHIN:
"Man, I hope those swines are hungry..." Gamzee mumbled, clambering into the 4X4 as the flick of a key made the engine roar into life, the entire car shuddering and vibrating as if it had been startled awake. A look over his shoulder showed the bags of pig feed in the back of the car, but it did little to stop the knowledge of what lay hidden underneath. A thought that was amusing more than anything as he turned back around.
"I'll take the rest of my mirthful paint off on the way..you got wipes in here yo? I ain't even sure why the motherfuck you painted yours." Gamzee muttered, searching through the glovebox as Kurloz started driving down the field. A simple nod was all he'd get as Kurloz couldn't do too many signs whilst driving. It didn't matter though, he knew by now to just stick to questions that needed simple answers when going on road trips with his brother. "Aight yo, lemme wipe this off and I'll get a fag lit the fuck up . . . Oh yeah . . . Wanna hear a joke?"
An enthusiastic nod came from his sibling, which was to be expected as the Makara's loved jokes. Though Gamzee's were usually awful. Taking out some wet wipes, he proceeded to tell the joke.
"A lady gets walking the fuck in, her left titty's all up and hangin out, so i'm like 'Yo! lady! Yo titty is out!" and she's all like ' AWWWHHH SHIT! I left the baby on the motherfucking bus!"Honk Honk!"
Kurloz burst into a fit of slient sniggers, his breath coming fast and shaky through his nose whilst his shoulders bounced up and down. Although it'd been awful, it had at least put his sibling in a far better mood.
"Awwwh bro, I tried man, I tried" He chuckled, resting back in his seat as he finished wiping his face. Maybe Sollux would like it? With that in mind, he closed his eyes and drifted off, trying to imagine what his boyfriend might be like if he bothered to laugh once in a while.
Was that cutting it close?
Probably, but it's not like he'd had any choice. The fucking farmer's new dog had torn one of the bags open, making for a messy, bloody spillage right down Kurloz's leg. Something he'd been more than furious about as it wasn't like he'd packed a spare set of clothes. Thankfully this wasn't too much of an issue for him because Kurloz was a smart man.
Life on the road meant he didn't have all the luxuries that those in stationary homes did. Long, hot soaks in the showers being one of them (though their trailers did of course, come with showers.) There was a way around this though.
Being fit was a must in their line of work, but lugging exercise equipment in their trailers was not practical with the distances they had to travel. So instead, one of the first things that they'd do when moving to a new place was to get a gym membership(or at least pay for a few days use.) Nashir was a man with many contacts, so the carnival workers got discounts in nearly every city they stopped in. Even if it was just a weekend, there was nothing better than heading down for a nice shower, a work out and then a soak in the sauna. Kurloz did his fair share of exercise but it was light compared to the steroid pumped gym rats (or Nashir and Equius for that matter.) Still, the membership had proven itself useful today, as he was able to steal a shower after the mess at the farm ( and after getting Gamzee to run into TK MAXX to grab them some new jeans and clearing off what blood he could.)
Now cleaned, his hair still damp and his facepaint neatly applied, he was about as ready as he could be as he rapped his knuckles on the door of Mituna's house. Gamzee was stood besides him doing an impressive job of cramping his style by belching loudly.
:CUT THAT MOTHERFUCKIN SHIT OUT BEFORE I REIGN DOWN THE MOST UNHOLY OF FUCKIN VENGANCE ON A HOMIE:
"Sorry Bro, but I can't shut my breakfast up from talking if thats what the fuck it feels like doing."
:I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK:
"That's ok Kurbro," Gamzee shrugged, seeming totally unbothered by it as he flicked the end of his cigarette away. The mute was about to go and follow through on his threat when the door suddenly flung open, revealing a warm waft of air and the grinning, drool sodden face of Mituna.
"FUCK YESTH I HAVED A GUEST!"
A small wave was given in response along with a smile of his own. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but it was sort of endearing how delighted Mituna seemed to be at having a guest. Kurloz assumed that Mituna rarely saw others judging by how excited he was, though it saddened him a little at the same time.
"Sup Tunabro" Gamzee said, giving a wave as well to make his presence known.
Mituna tore his eyes off of Kurloz and stared for a moment before he realized there was someone else standing there."HELL-THE FUCK-O!" He beamed, waving enthusiastically and sniggering with delight as he was joined by a very annoyed looking Sollux, who was quick to snap at his older sibling. "Can't you even greet someone without swearing?"
"It's fine just-Gz? What are you doing here?" He frowned, staring at Gamzee whilst Kurloz went right ahead and stepped forward. As far as he was concerned, Sollux's presence meant that Gamzee would be well and truly out the way, though the fact that Sollux was still in his pjamas told him that he might need to take Mituna out if he was to spend any time with him.
:SOME WICKED THREADS YOU'RE DONNING THERE MOTHERFUCKER, WANNA GET HITTING THE TOWN CENTER WITH THIS MIRTHFUL MUTE?: he signed, hoping that Mituna being fully dressed meant that he'd intended to go out anyway. Kurloz certainly hoped so anyway. All their recent texts painted a very confined, indoor life that didn't suit someone as energetic as Mituna. Though he knew that he managed to go into town once a week from what he'd said.
"YETH. I HAVE MY SHOES LETHS FUCKIN DO THITH SHIIIITT"
:ALRIGHT BROTHER, BEST BE TELLING YOUR YOUNGEST HOMIE WHATS GOING DOWN:
Mituna nodded, but before he got a chance to tell Sollux what was going on, Gamzee had spoken up already. One hand pushing Sollux inside by the chest whilst the other was waving at them. "Have a good time bros, see you the fuck later, got my phone and all that mirthful shit-"
"GZ-Get the fuck off me! I didn't say you could come in!"
"- So just come back here aight? Later motherfuckers."
Both Kurloz and Mituna stared a little as the other two disappeared into the depths of the house, leaving the two of them alone and confused on the doorstep. Though not for long as Mituna soon hopped down onto the pavement, grabbing a black backpack from inside the house and then slamming the door shut with enough force to rattle the doorframe. The way it shook made Kurloz think that Mituna had been abusing the damn thing with such forceful slams for a while now.
:GENTLE YO, THAT DOOR AIN'T BRINGING HARM UPON ANYONE:
"I'M SORRY.." Mituna muttered, pulling the hood of his yellow hoodie over his head. Why the other apologized so much, he didn't know but Kurloz wasn't about to chastise him for it. Instead, he simply ignored it, gently patting the smaller mans shoulder before gesturing to the end of the road.
With the destination and transport sorted, Kurloz started to walk down the street with Mituna, watching as his friend started pointing out all the walls he'd ground his skateboard against at some point or another. Kurloz was smiling widely and listening to every damn word the whole time.
"Still haven't caught em yet?"
"I did not realise you actually bothered to keep up with the news."
"Well ye canne' really, not when the buggers are murderin' on ye doorstep."
"You say that as if you have never ignored something that was blatantly happening right under your nose."
The narrowing of Voland's eyes told Almeis that he had struck a nerve but that was more than fine with him as he folded up his paper. The headlines were amok with the string of murders that had been taking place over the last few months. Nearly all of them were unrelated, but many people attributed it to Newark being a prime spot for missing persons. So many had disappeared over the years. Most were students or soldiers returning from service.
None were ever found.
But that did not excuse what had happened that night.
"Ye know better than to bring that up." Voland growled through his thick scottish accent, glancing over the notice board before looking over his shoulder to Almeis. As much as he loathed Voland, he knew not to piss him off, especially where certain matters were concerned. His boss didn't seem entirely done though, as he opted to delve deeper into the things Almeis did not like to talk about. "Yer still single as per our agreement?"
"Ye don't wanna go pissin' off her or me, ye got that?"
The need for him to state the obvious was tiring and mundane but he did it regardless.
"I'm the only reason ye got a good earnin' job in this shit hole, ye'd do good not to forget that."
"As if I am not constantly reminded whenever you see fit." Almeis uttered, his face blank as he sipped his tea almost mechanically. There was little point in getting riled up, even if the awful churn in his gut and the lump in his throat were apparent to him. He couldn't show it, lest he risk opening up another chink in his cold armour for Voland to exploit. The businessman had already taken so much from him and the other was more than aware that he couldn't stand to lose much more. "I am aware and I do remember. You need not worry about that."
"Good, ye don't want another reason to be covering yerself up now do ye?"
The smug smirk on Dualscar's face was enough to make him physically sick as another horrific memory was brought right to the forefront of his mind, flashing before him and making him pale slightly. Even such small glimpses to that night seemed to make his stomach and chest burn with agony, as if the pain of that night had imprinted into him in more ways than one. If he wasn't so used to the other bringing it up all the time, he may well have blanched. Thankfully, he just about managed not to and clung onto his stoic pokerface.
"I am more than aware, Voland. Though time is money. . .We have work to do." It was a hopeful attempt on a change of subject for fear that he would have to describe what happened all over again. Voland did so enjoy making him relive it whenever possible. By now, he should have been immune to it but it seemed repetition did not decrease the impact it had on him. Something he personally resented himself for. He had worked up such a good immunity to everything in the form of detachment yet that one thing constantly got him.
The scar faced Ampora looked like he was ready to continue his torment but found the sudden slam of a door alerted his attention elsewhere. "About fuckin' time,Cronus."
Strolling in like he owned the place, another blonde Ampora sat himself on Almeis's desk, nudging his tea as the bartender popped the collar of his leather jacket. A cigarette hung from his smirking lips, seemingly trying to look cool but mostly looking like a pretentious prat. He even had the audacity to wink at Almeis before addressing Voland in a purposefully smooth sounding american accent. It was so false sounding and his sleezy personality dripped in every vowel he carefully sounded. The addition of the fact he was trying desperately to pretend the scottish undertones didn't exist made it all the worse.
"The one and only! Just swung by to see what you groovy cats needed of me." He smirked, acting like he was doing the world a huge favour by even turning up. Naturally, his employers were less than impressed.
Almeis could barely stop the derisive sigh that escaped him as he stood up and wandered around the front of his desk to address the greaser properly. As cool as he wished to appear, Cronus was something of a coward. Something that someone as cold and practically unfeeling as Almeis could use to his advantage. It was well known that he creeped Cronus out slightly, though sadly it was not enough to stop him being a little shit. Or indeed enough for Almeis to use it to him against Voland. "We needed you hours ago when the club opened. You know that your duty is to stock the bar during the dayshift. Naturally your pay will be deducted to compensate for your complete lack of effort. I will make it clear that we are due a visit from the area manager at the end of the month and he will not be as lenient as your Uncle."
"So, this means yer' gonna buck yer fuckin' ideas up or else yer gonna make yer dear uncle look bad. Ye don't want that do ye?" Voland barked, approaching Cronus and standing near his nephew's side. Even if he turned a blind eye to Cronus's antics, he wouldn't risk anyone fucking up infront of the area manager when he was supposed to be running things smoothly as possible. Liquid had been the flag-ship nightclub and everyone knew how badly Voland wanted to have it turned into an Oceana.
"Yooooo, you guys need to cool it. . . I got it. Anyway, aren't I supposed to be helping out with that spa-"
Almeis shot Cronus a look so cold that he physically blanched and held his hands up in the air in defense. "-sparkling example of a good guy? Tuna? What's his name? You know, the little Captor? You know I'm being a real great guy by offering to help out on his first shift."
Another one of Cronus's fantastic traits was that he often lied through his teeth, something that was happening right now as he'd been assigned this task a week ago from Almeis, rather than offering. It was a shame really as he did not think Cronus was genuinely a evil person, just raised up in ill company, much like Eridan. He had met both the Ampora boys a few times and whilst he had nothing but contempt for Cronus and Voland, he rather liked Eridan. A bright lad with a vocabulary to match his own. Though Almeis was more than aware his little brother and him had their spats, but he was also well aware that Eridan was not solely to blame for them. After all, Sollux had been the initiator of their longstanding hatred.
"Regardless, you need to improve drastically or we will need to strip you of your title before the Area Manager arrives."
"Ye know he's got a point. Yer a shit excuse of an assitant-"
"-and also a rather shit excuse of a staff member in general."
"Whoah there! way to hurt a guy's feelings! You know I have...Issues... This just ain't the right time and place for me, it's hard to adjust when you don't really feel like you belong in this century. I could've had a *real* bartending job back then, somewhere that really appreciates my talents."
"There is nothing that can possibly be done about being born into the wrong decade. We have discussed this at length. There is however, a number of things we can do about you having a 'real' job. Namely sacking you from this one."
Cronus looked panicked for a second before looking between the two of them, getting off the desk and starting to back out the room as he spoke.
"-Did I ever tell you what real understanding cats you guys are? Shit, I gotta go though and get that thing I was gonna put together to make Tuna feel really welcome, you know, being the great guy I am." He finally reached the door, waved and then ducked out before either one of them could respond.
"The boy's an Embarrassment...Ye fancy swappin' Mituna for him?"
Almeis shook his head and glanced at the busted up Pokemon yellow cartridge on his desk.
"I would not swap Mituna for anything."
If today had been a day of learning then Kurloz would have considered himself well and truly schooled in things not to do with Mituna.
The first thing he had learnt was that Mituna carried no money with him whatsoever. Initially he had thought that the captor family were simply neglectful, but after giving him a ten pound note he soon found out that it was because Mituna would find the nearest haberdashery and spend it all on brightly coloured buttons. What was worse was that this happened so often in the past, that the staff recognized him the second he walked in and had stopped to ask if his brothers were aware that he had money. It was those very staff members that informed him of his second lesson after some charades and a scramble for a pen and paper.
If Mituna wants to sleep, he will lay down and do just that.
According to one of the seamstresses (a indian girl in a pretty green sari called Kanaya,) Mituna had sat down and fallen asleep in the haberdashery a fair amount of times. No one seemed to mind though. He was apparently so known by the majority of the local shop keepers for doing just this, that they usually just shifted him to the back and covered him in a blanket.
The third lesson of the day was taking place right at the very moment as Kurloz and Mituna sat themselves in the town square. There were plenty of benches around the place (as well as the usual scattering of pigeons that seemed to infest all English cities,) but they'd opted to just sit and lean against a wall. It was a little better that way as they seemed less noticed than if they'd been out on the benches, something that Mituna seemed to want to avoid.
Kurloz yawned through his nose and had started to unpack the food they'd gotten from Burger King when he noticed Mituna shift a bit closer, sitting hip to hip with him almost. Well, that was certainly a little unexpected. From what he knew, Mituna detested all and any kind of touching (particularly as he'd watched the other freak out earlier after being bumped into on the street,) so the fact he was utterly cool with him warmed him somewhat. There was a little bit of him that even felt flattered but he didn't think anything of it. Though he had to give his attention to Mituna when the other papped his shoulder and nodded at the woman who had just walked past them, signing with his hands and spelling out her name.
::ITS D-A-M-A-R-A ::
:WHAT ABOUT HER?:
::SHE WORKS AT THE D-O-J-O::
The Dojo? Kurloz had been to Newark more than a few times but this was the first he had heard anything about a dojo. Had he really been away that long? The thought made him frown a little before tilting his head, as if waiting to hear more about this.
:SINCE WHEN THE MOTHERFUCK DID THIS CESSPOOL OF A CITY HAVE A DOJO?:
Mituna sniggered somewhat and grinned widely, starting to use his signs once more.
::IT OPENED UP TWO YEARS AGO. VERY POPULAR WITH STUDENTS. D-A-M-A-R-A DOES ADMINISTRATION FOR THE POINTY GLASSES TEACHER::
:POINTY GLASSES TEACHER?:
Another snigger as Mituna waved his hands a little, as if dismissing it as a mistake. Kurloz wasn't sure if signing was the way forward for Mituna as his hands shook so much it made the signs difficult to read. Thankfully, the other reverted back to speaking.
"DIRK STRIDER. MANNNNNNN YOU DONTHS KNOWED SHITS ABOUUED THIS PLACEDS! LOOOOOOOOOOSER!" He grinned, seeming far too smug with the notion that he might know more about Newark than Kurloz, something that the mute narrowed his eyes at. As if Mituna of all fucking people got out enough to know any sort of shit. He doubted the other would be able to tell him much so he decided to humor him.
:FINE. SCHOOL THIS BROTHER ON WHAT THE WICKED WORD ABOUT TOWN IS:
And so with a flurry of signs broken up with speech, Mituna taught Kurloz his third lesson of the day, which was that he was far more observant than people realized. It seemed that his lack of understanding lead people to gossip either to him or around him during the times he did get out. Meaning that Mituna practically had a tidbit of information on just about fucking everyone who even remotely breathed in this place. Something that was going to be incredibly useful for someone like Kurloz, who needed to be in the know of who did what with who if his brothers and himself were going to manipulate them effectively. Afterall, they were intending to reclaim their old turf. Time to double check that he had taken all this information on board (and also for a small chance to let Mituna know that he'd been listened to.)
:SO LET A MOTHERFUCKER GET THIS NOISE STRAIGHTENED OUT. D-A-M-A-R-A IS A LITTLE PARTIAL TO THE MIRTHFUL GREEN AND WORKS AT THE DOJO. THAT INSTITUTE OF THE FIGHTING ARTS IS RUN BY D-I-R-K WHO-:
"FFFFFFFFFUUUUCKKK KURLOTHZ EXPLAIN SIMPLY BRO!" Mituna groaned, rolling his eyes and earning something of a huff from Kurloz.
:FINE. I WILL GET MOTHERFUCKIN ITERATING THIS SHIT AT YOU IN THE SIMPLEST WAY POSSIBLE. D-I-R-K IS TAPPING SOME SURVIVAL SKILLS TRAINER AT THE NEARBY R-A-F BASE CALLED J-A-K-E. EVERYONE EITHER WANTS IN J-A-K-E'S ASS OR ON HIS DICK, A TRAIT SHARED BY HIS BEST FRIEND AND CO-WORKER S-U-N-N-I-E.S-U-N-N-I-E IS AKA "THE SUMMONER" BECAUSE HE SOMEHOW CALLED AN AIRSTRIKE FROM THE BACK ASS OF NOWHERE DURING SERVICE IN AFGHANISTAN. THIS DUDE IS APPARENTLY SPENDS ALL HIS NIGHTS WITH THE LOCAL DOMINATRIX, MIND-FANG, WHO HAS ALL SORTS KNOCKING ON HER DOOR. BUT SHE ONCE TRIED IT ON WITH THE MOTHER OF THAT SEAMSTRESS WE MET EARLIER, KANAYA, WHO IS DATING SOMEONE CALLED ROSE WHO WORKS AT THE GOTH SHOP IN TOWN WITH A GIRL CALLED A-R-A-D-I-A. A-R-A-D-I-A IS YOUR BROTHER'S EX GIRLFRIEND WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE A CLOSET PYROMANIAC AND HAS BEEN CAUGHT HANGING ABOUT GRAVEYARDS MORE OFTEN THAN IS HEALTHY. SHE'S D-A-M-A-R-A'S COUSIN BUT DOESN'T SEEM TO BE HALF AS VIOLENT AS D-A-M-A-R-A WHO JOINED THE DOJO TO LEARN HOW TO KICK THE SHIT INTO HER EX, R-U-F-I-O-H WHO IS APPARENTLY-WAIT AIN'T THAT THE MOTHERFUCKER I CAUGHT BONING ONE OF MY CARNIE WORKERS THE OTHER NIGHT?:
"DUDESTH YOUR'ED JUSTH SCRATCHINGED THE SURFACEDS." Grinned the smaller of the two, as Kurloz shuddered at the flashbacks of Horuss getting well and truly rammed over one of the hay bales they kept for the horses.
:HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS WHEN YOU CAN BARELY KEEP YOUR SHIT TOGETHER? AINT NO OFFENCE INTENDED BY THAT:
There was something of a shrug and Mituna looked down at his feet, shoving a few fries into his mouth before he swallowed and spoke. "I JSUTH LISTNEDS ALSO ALMEIS SAID I'M LEIKS A SHITTY RECORDING DEVICED FOR WERD STUFF? I DONTHED CARESD ABOUT THAT SHITH I JUST REMEMBERED. ANDSTH TULA WOUULD LIEKD..FUCUUKIN...TALKED ALL THAT SHITHS WITH HER FRIENDSTH SO I LEARTNED TWO DO ITH TWO..AND...ER...HEHEHEHEHE...DIDNT STOP...I JUST DONT TELLED AYNONED WHATH I KNOW...CETPT YOU BUTH YOU CANNED KEEP SECRETS TOO RIGHT?"
So his earlier assumption had been right. Mituna didn't understand any of what was going on or even empathise with it, he just literally sucked up all this gossip like a sponge and retained it. In the right hands, he would be a gold mine of information and a slightly sinister smirk spread across Kurloz's stitched lips before it turned into a more genuine one. Not only was this ridiculously useful for him, but it would hopefully mean more time spent with Mituna in order to open up this mental library of information. Particularly as it'd been mentioned that Mituna would soon start work at Liquid, right where all the gossip would be flowing between the locals. Fucking perfect. What better way to scope our fresh deals and new targets?
:YES I CAN MY SWEET MOTHERFUCKER. WE WILL RENDEZVOUS FOR THE SHARING OF SECRETS AND MIRACLES BETWEEN THE TWO OF US?JUST ME AND YOU, HOMIES HANGING OUT IN SECRET LIKE A MOTHERFUCKIN PAIR OF NINJAS. HOW DOES THAT SOUND BROTHER?: Kurloz signed, knowing that phrasing things in such an exciting way would be more likely to get Mituna excited and compliant in his plans. Though something in his chest hoped that Mituna would be excited to hang out with him anyway. Afterall, he'd greatly enjoyed the other's company today so he was keen to do it again.
A rather sunny grin was given from Mituna, the kind that showed off his fucked up teeth and the freckles that peppered his stupid yet lovely face as he nodded. "FUCK YES! WANNA DOTH THE GIRL THING?"
What the fuck? The mute looked a bit confused for a second, mind racing to try and figure out what he could have possibly meant by that statement. Nothing came up however so his only option was to raise his eyebrows.
"SLEEPIN INNED YOUR TRAIELR AGAINED."
Oh! Well fuck yes to that! There was no way Kurloz was going to pass up on a chance to have Mituna stay over again. He nodded enthusiastically and put his thumbs up.
"SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT...I WILLED...COMES AT THE END OFED THE MONTH. KAY?" he said, narrowing his eyes at the other as if to double check that Kurloz understood.
More than Ok. In fact Kurloz was going to make sure Mituna would want to come back practically every damn week if he could. For now, he'd have to simply watch his friend stuff his face with fries and start working out some plans of action.