A/N: Okay, so I know I haven't been updating, and I apologize. This was something I'd randomly concocted on some down time I had. I'm trying really hard to get my art portfolio up to snuff, so I haven't been working on my writing properly. I really need to get my art portfolio fleshed out so I can get some commissions going. This is a small piece of amusement I wanted to share, and I'm hoping to have some updates on other stories shortly. Hope you enjoy this lil oneshot!
There was a day in history, marked for celebration and awe unrivaled throughout the entire shinobi nation. It had been claimed, such, after an event that had been impossible. There had been many shinobi who had tried and failed to attempt the such a feat. It was a thing spoken of in hushed whispers, terror striking those who feared the mere mention of this, creature, this beast, would bring about its horrible appearance, scarring all of those who laid eyes upon it. Its booming roar could be heard for miles, challenging all it came across. Its teeth gleamed in the light like piercing stars that burned the eyes. Its strength was known to crush very boulders in its passing. Such a beast had never been seen before, and all prayed that such a beast would never been seen again.
Kakashi, the Copy Nin, was leaning against his post, ignoring his team. He'd been doing that since they became a team. To be honest, if it was one thing the rest of the team could agree upon, it was that their teacher lacked any of their respect as a teacher. As a ninja? He terrified them. Not even the famed beast seemed to remotely bother their sensei. However, one blond genin decided it was high time they received proper training. He was tired of being left behind, and for once, he wanted a chance to prove to everyone that he was worth time and attention.
Hence, he waved over his two teammates, whom almost ignored him if given the fact he looked disturbingly serious for once.
"What do you want, idiot?" demanded the raven haired one, his voice flat.
Sakura looked like she'd rather punch the blond for simply assuming she cared about anything he had to say.
"I'm tired of Sensei not taking us seriously," Naruto said just as flatly as Sasuke had spoken.
A spark of interest quickly flashed across the other two genin's eyes. They tried to hide it, but they were far too irritated at this point to ignore Naruto. Neither would admit it, but both knew that if any were to judge Naruto by his pranks, he was ingenious, creative, and often disturbingly good at them. So, they only hoped this was one of those moments of genius, otherwise they'd both clobber him and tell Kakashi it was training.
"And?" demanded Sakura. "We all are! Do you even have a plan?!"
"SHH!" burst Naruto, glancing quickly at their sensei across the training grounds. "Just because he looks busy, it doesn't mean he wont hear us!"
Sasuke nodded discreetly, shutting up Sakura instantaneously. "She has a point, idiot. Do you have a plan?"
A well known and chilling smirk crawled upon Naruto's face. His eyes lit up before they were hidden behind his well known squinting as as he gave them his patented foxy grin. "Of course!"
Both his teammates looked leery, both because they weren't sure if he had a GOOD idea, or if it was that they were horrified by what KIND of prank Naruto would be pulling.
"We aren't trying to steel his books again," hissed Sakura. "We almost died the last time!"
The two boys both paled upon remembrance of that event. They all went down a short tour of memory lane before shaking themselves back onto topic.
"Hell no! I couldn't walk properly for a week! And I couldn't sleep for three!" Naruto grumbled something else under his breath about vengeance before continuing. "No, it's nothing like that. This is a sure fired way of getting him to teach us properly! Plus, maybe we can get something else other than D ranks if this works out okay."
Now Sasuke and Sakura both looked REALLY interested. They had just retrieved Torra again that morning, and they were getting tired of getting nearly torn to shreds by a stupid cat.
"Any way we can help?" asked Sasuke, surprising both his teammates with the remark. He looked a little disgruntled at their shock, but couldn't help the bubble of hope that made him more than eager to step outside his usual role and willingly assist his teammates.
A solemness settled on Naruto's shoulders and visage, once again startling his team. "What I'm planning is supposed to be impossible. Many have tried and failed... I have a plan, but if it fails, I'm certain that our sensei will have a hay day shoving it in our faces. It means we will have to offer up something in return, because I highly doubt sensei will let such a chance slide without gaining something in return."
All three shivered. There was a long moment of silence. Such things Kakashi could and would demand... it could mean worse than just ignoring them.
It took a while before the other two nodded, locking eyes with the blond.
"We're with you. We have no other choice." Sasuke gave him a heated stare.
Naruto nodded sharply, eyes glancing to the pinkette whom also nodded. He smiled, but it was not a happy one. "Right, then lets go make a wager." He stood and scowled at their sensei. "Oi sensei!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. "Train us!"
Kakashi ignored him.
All three growled softly. They exchanged looks and then nodded one more time. Straightening, they all strode over to their sensei, Naruto in the lead.
"Hey, Kakashi-sensei!" shouted Naruto again. "I'll make a bet with you! If I win, you have to train us properly! No more slacking! AND we get a C rank mission!"
"Why would I make a bet like that with you?" asked Kakashi without looking up.
"Because, I'm going to do the impossible! I'm going to challenge the Beast!"
Kakashi's eye darted up quickly, unable to hide his shock fast enough. Realizing his mistake, he looked away with a bored scoff. "Yeah right, you couldn't touch the Beast."
Naruto snorted. "I didn't say I was fighting it! I'm gonna tame it!"
Again, Kakashi's eye pealed away from his book and stared at the small blond in front of him. "Tame him?"
Naruto grinned viciously, knowing he had his sensei, hook line and sinker. "I'm going to do what you couldn't! I'm going to beat the Beast!"
"How so?" Kakashi gave his student a flat look.
Naruto leaned in and whispered something in his ear.
Kakashi's visible eye widened greatly. "You're joking!"
Naruto just smirked confidently.
Kakashi's eye narrowed. "What do I get in return?"
"No compliants about D ranks or training," stated Naruto. At his sensei's flat stare, he growled out the rest. "And, one request from each of us."
"Ooo! Then I choose for Sakura to cut her hair, Sasuke to smile all day every day in public, and Nartuo, you have to burn all of your bright orange jumpsuits!"
All three genin looked horrified. Sakura almost fainted, and Sasuke looked positively constipated, and Naruto was clinging to his jacket as if it was his own flesh and blood being threatened.
Naruto swallowed thickly. Both his teammates gave him meaningful glares. He ran his fingers through his hair before nodding once to Kakashi, who practically squealed at them in excitement.
"Good! Let's go find the Beast!" Kakashi quickly began marching away.
Naruto felt ill. His hands shook and his stomach churned. It all rest upon his shoulders now. With heavy feet, he drug himself after his sensei, both of his teammates following with menacing stares.
As soon as his sensei spotted the dangerous Beast, he called out to his students and waved them over.
They came to a training ground where said Beast was currently destroying boulders. All paled momentarily.
After a breath of staring at the destruction going on before them, Naruto inhaled sharply and straightened his shoulders. His walk of doom was shed from him and he marched proudly into the clearing. "Sensei," he spoke up loudly, drawing the attention of the others in the clearing. "You're wrong!"
Kakashi, always one for playing along if it was to his advantage, decided to humor Naruto. "Oh, how so?"
"Because!" continued Naruto, looking like he hadn't noticed the other team staring at them curiously as they all paused their training. "You think I should get rid of my orange jacket because it screams 'kill me'. But you're wrong!"
Now this was starting to get interesting, mused Kakashi. Even the other two genin on his team looked interested.
Naruto snorted. "Of course it does! I'm not stupid! I WANT it to do that!"
That made everyone stop short, even Kakashi. "What? Why?"
Naruto grinned in a cocky fashion, crossing his arms over his chest. "Come on Sensei! It's obvious! Look underneath the underneath crap! It's for training!"
A loooong silence followed.
"What are you talking about, idiot?!" demanded Sakura, her patience lost.
Naruto pouted at her but continued his confident pose. "Think about it! Ninja rely on being sneaky, right? Well, I figure the best way to learn how to be REALLY sneaky, is to train wearing this! That way, when it's serious, I can ditch it and be impossible to find!" He looks over at Gai and grins widely. "Right Gai-sensei?"
"Ah! What a most youthful idea! It's genius! The fires of youth burn bright in you!"
Everyone but Lee cringed.
"But..." Naruto looked uncertainly at the green clad ninja. "I don't get it sensei. Why do you wear that outfit then?"
Gai struck his 'nice-guy' pose, making Sasuke and Sakura tremble. Naruto kept a brave face, not daring to let slip his horror. He needed to look unwavering!
"This, my youthful friend, is worn to keep the wind resistance down," answered Gai. "And it moves so fluidly with the body! It is perfect for fighting!"
"But, you like training, right?" asked Naruto, still looking confused. "Doesn't that... like, make it too easy?"
Everyone froze. Gai's jaw nearly dropped. "What do you mean youthful one?"
"Well, wearing regular ninja clothes adds resistance, right? Plus, it forces you to learn how to move differently. Wouldn't it be better to wear that underneath regular ninja clothes so that, in a pinch, they could be removed quickly and you would have an element of surprise? Like your weights? And, well your hair is wrong too."
Dead silence. No one dared speak, eying Naruto like he'd grown an extra head. He continued as if he didn't notice. "I mean, you can't feel the air right with hair like that, right? And, it covers your ears and affects your hearing. I know that my hair makes it easy to feel the change in air currents, and it allows me to judge my surroundings so I don't hit my head. It also helps me cool down when it's hot. But, I guess I just prefer it up. But, even having a few styled tufts would help with judging the wind." He jerked a thumb at Sasuke. "Even duck butt over there can feel the wind change better than you can." Naruto shrugged. "But, I guess you don't want the extra training. I mean, even Kakashi-sensei wears the full uniform and has his hair up. I guess you're so good you don't need to do the extra training."
"That's a PERFECT idea my youthful friend! Lee, we must go dress in clothes to add resistance!" Gai's eyes were sparkling.
"Wait!" cried Naruto. "You have to ask the right people!"
Gai paused, having just been ready to dash away. "The right people, my youthful friend?"
"Yes!" insisted Naruto. "See, you want clothes that resist right but still allow you to train properly, right?" At Gai's nod, he continued. "Well, you have to talk to the right people!" Naruto pulled out a slip of paper. "If you go here and talk to these people, they'll know what to do! They helped me a lot! They gave me this eyesore!" He waved at his jumpsuit, silently apologizing to it.
Kakashi scowled at it, but Gai looked awed.
"Wonderful my most youthful friend! The fires of youth burn even brighter in me! I accept this challenge! If I cannot perform well in this, I shall-" His rant faded out as he and Lee raced to town.
Everyone, including Neji, stared in awe at Naruto. Said blond was grinning widely, hand empty that had held the piece of paper. He didn't even see when Gai took it.
"Sooo," he drawled, turning sly eyes to Kakashi. "I've tamed the Green Beast, whose tales of terror spread far and wide... I win the bet."
Kakashi was mentally berating himself for not having thought of such a trick and bemoaning about actually having to train his students properly. "Fine, fine, we'll go train. We'll try a C rank after training a month to see if you've improved enough to go on one." He tried to look bored, but his eye was twitching the whole time.
Naruto leaped into the air with a shout of triumph, while Sasuke smirked and Sakura grinned.
History was changed that day, as the Green Beast was tamed. His ungodly spandex were hidden behind the regular shinobi attire, only seeing the light of day against the enemy and scarring them for life. His haircut was now an attractive style that, with his proper attire, earned double takes from the opposite sex. His young protege was also starting to receive due appreciation, but only just. It would never fix the booming voice or the horrifying sunset scene, but the new look did help them be a bit more accepted in public. Said public had a hard time digesting the fact that the Kyuubi container had been the one to give them this blessing, but, despite their grumbling displeasure, it was a marked day of celebration, earning even the Kyuubi container a day of discount prices at all retail stores and even several restaurants.