When we lose something that is precious to us, we are left with a feeling of sadness. Whether it is a precious friend or even a treasured object, the loss can be hard to bear.
It is as if a part of you has gone missing. Throughout our life we amass collections of friends and treasured possessions.
Having close relationships help us feel as if we are not alone in the world. When we lose someone or something that is precious to us, we may realize that there is a certain aloneness that can never be filled.
But he, will never be lost, he lives on, unchanging, not moving forward, an eternal piece of my heart, a never-ending touch I simply couldn't ignore.
Even now as he cornered us, a darkness set in his eyes, yet a blank expression left across his face. I knew what he hungered. But I knew I would never let him.
Love against love. The most painful battle to be seen.
~Bella's Point of view~
I didn't need to look up from the magazine to know that the whole room was staring at me. I could feel the judgmental ogling, and piercing looks of disgust of the crowded waiting room. If only they knew the story behind this, that I wasn't some reckless teenage girl; getting herself pregnant at 17.
"Isabella Swan," I heard my name being called gently.
I looked up, setting the magazine down, trying to only keep my eyes on the nurse waiting up at the door, and not look around at the gazes still placed on me.
Upon making it to the smiling nurse, I let out a weak breath, trying to smile as well, as she led me through the door, escaping the stares at last.
"How are you today Miss Swan," She wondered, walking beside me, a clipboard firmly in her hands.
It was obvious that she has been doing this for a while, and knew what she was doing, judging by her calm expression, and un-judgmental look towards the large bump of my stomach.
"I'm alright, I've been going to the bathroom a lot more often," I stated, glancing down at my stomach with a slight smile.
Regardless to how this little baby had been created, I still loved it; this was my whole world growing inside me. It's been so rough, this whole process. The whispered, the gossip, the only thing I really had been my family's support.
"Oh yes, that's quite normal," She smiled, writing down things on her clipboard, before turning a corner, where a scale was waiting for me.
I frowned looking at it in reluctance. I really didn't even want to know how much I weighed. I'm sure if I knew, I'd never want to look at myself again.
"First, we are just going to get your weight, and height,"
I nodded, and closed my eyes, stepping up on the scale, and waiting patiently for the nurse to give me the ok, to get off.
"Normal weight," I heard the nurse said quietly, and with that, I got off the scale, opening my eyes to look at her with a timid smile.
"It's normal to gain weight during a pregnancy sweetie," She said patting my shoulder, before jotting down more notes on her clipboard.
I knew this of course, I just didn't like to think of myself as fat, that was the one and only thing about myself that I had liked. I was thin, and healthy. That's really all I had going for me.
"So when do you think the baby will come?" I wondered, letting my hand slowly slide over my stomach.
"Well, we will soon find out," The nurse spoke.
And with that, she continued on to mark down my height, and lead me to another room, handing me a gown to put on.
"If you would please put this on, I'll get your doctor in here," She said with a bright smile.
I nodded, trying to smile back, but my face went a bit red as I looked down at the gown, knowing what this meant. I would have to have a doctor looking at my… unmentionable area.
As soon as she had left the room, I sighed loudly, and began to undress myself, making sure my eyes stayed away from the large bump of my stomach as best I could.
It wasn't that I was ashamed to be pregnant; it's just that every time I looked down at myself naked, it just reminded me the… incident; that had caused this baby to be born.
I shivered, tears filling my eyes for a second as I pulled the gown on, half of me glad that my body was again concealed from the world.
Gently I climbed up into the medical bed, sitting up against the pillows, and with a big breath I glanced around the room, trying to get my thoughts off everything for just a second.
I wasn't sure if moving to Forks, after I found out I was pregnant was the best idea. I didn't want everyone from back in Arizona to know the reason behind the sudden move.
As far as they knew, I moved to be with Charlie because he was going through a tough time. They had no idea what had happened to me, but it was better this way.
Although, the people here in Fork knew differently, even though none of them even attempted to ask me how this pregnancy happened, they all had their own ideas of how it had happened.
I didn't listen to any of it. I couldn't, or I'd go crazy, there were more important things to worry about then what others thought about me. That's why I haven't gone to school since I found out I was pregnant, I didn't need the stress of the others gossiping. Home schooling as a challenge, but it was the best way.
And Charlie had been such a big support to me, I don't know if I could have ever dealt with this all alone without him. At the moment, he was picking Rene and Phil up from the airport. They would be staying around for the delivery, since it was going to be happening any day now.
A light tapping on my door had now gotten my attention, making me glance over to the direction of the door.
"May I come in," An attractive male voice had called from outside of my door.
"Yes," I said politely, and as the doctor came in, I felt my jaw drop as I took in his astounding beauty.
My insides began to knot up, taking in the butterscotch-colored eyes of the doctor, and the mess of Caramel waves at the top of his head.
His body was like a fine sculptured statue, equipped with perfectly sharp and defined features. From his nose; so angular, to the beautiful curve of his smooth looking lips. And even the paleness of his skin brought out an inner chill from inside me.
He was a thing of beauty, just being in the same room as him was breath-taking, it almost seemed like I had entered a dream as he moved closer to me, a calm smile on his face.
"Good afternoon Miss Swan," He spoke, his voice was like velvet, the way he said each word; it was in a way only a god could.
"Good afternoon, I don't believe I've ever met you," I felt myself say, my face going red as he paused at the bottom of my bed.
"I'm Dr. Cullen, your regular doctor, Dr. Franklin, he is actually taking his vacation down in New Mexico, I'll be filling in as your doctor for now," He said, but all of a sudden, his stance turned tense.
His body seemed to freeze, and a dark look fell upon his gorgeous face, what really got my attention however, was the fact that his golden eyes now where much darker, as if they had turned almost black.
"Oh," Was all I said, feeling nervousness crawl around in the pit of my stomach.
What was his problem, could he already have made a judgment of how I am pregnant at such a young age? I thought doctors were the ones that were there to care about their patients, and show support, and understanding…
For some reason, this really angered me.
Of all people to unfairly judge me, this male beauty had to think badly of me, make me feel ashamed of myself. It was bad enough that he made me feel even less attractive by in comparison of him-self. But now, he was showing complete disrespect to me as a person.
His expression did seem to change as his eyes landed on my face; he closed his mouth tightly, and appeared to be taking small breathes, as he got even closer to me.
"Alright Isabella, I'd just like for you to lift your legs," He spoke, moving the metal leg holders up to the edge of the medical bed.
"Bella," I corrected, and reluctantly I lifted my legs, for him to gently press them into the holders.
As I felt his eyes peering down on my womanly areas, I felt my face flush, keeping my face turned away from him, shutting my eyes.
I don't think I've ever felt so self-conscious in my whole life.
Him clearing his throat had gotten my attention however, his eyes now sliding to my face; still dark, now held an inner emotion, just dancing beneath the surface.
"You could deliver today, really at any moment, I'm honestly surprised that contractions hasn't began yet," He spoke, suddenly standing up in a fast motion, too quick for my eyes to catch, and went to the wall pushing a button.
This had surprised me completely, and as if turning on a switch, pain split down through me, making me wince.
"Has the contractions began?" He asked, the doctor back over at my side, his hands moving quickly around me, inserting an IV into my arm.
Again a winced at the slight pain of the needling going in, but the cool touch of his hands sent a roll of shivers down my spine.
I nodded, breathing a bit harder. "I think so," And with that another pain came, feeling like the most severe cramp I had ever experienced.
I muffled a cry at this, but I felt tears begin to run down my cheeks.
"Bella, focus on your breathing," He spoke as I closed my eyes.
I didn't know how long I sat here, concentrating on keeping myself calm, and breathing as normal as I could as I went through several rounds of contractions, all becoming more and more pain, and more and more often.
Another voice was now being heard, it was a bit deeper, and held more authority, but I couldn't force myself to open my eyes to look, and see who it was.
"How is she?" The stranger spoke, and for a moment, I felt a pair of hands over my forehead.
"Contractions are moving a bit quicker then normal, it's been about 3 hours now, and it appears it's getting to its final stages," Edward's voice spoke, and the hand on my forehead moved.
I wanted the hand to return so badly, it was so comforting, it was like I wasn't facing this all alone, but I couldn't move, not an inch of my body. Although, I couldn't help it, I had to say something, I had to make sure my baby was alright.
But suddenly, something inside me snapped, and regardless to my struggles to hold it back, I screamed out in agony. It felt like every bone in my body was being snapped in half.
"Carlisle what's going on," I recognized the voice of my handsome doctor say.
"I'm not sure Edward, but we need to get this child out now," The other voice spoke, sounding very urgent.
I now couldn't move an inch, I was paralyzed in pain, I struggled to breath, but I could still think clearly.
"Get him out, save him," I hollered out through the pain, feeling my whole body begin to tremble.
Again there was an intense pain, a sharpness cutting though my stomach; making me scream even louder.
I forced my eyes open now, taking in the gorgeous doctor, whose name I guess was Edward, standing over me, the other man that had entered the room was holding up the baby, a loud cry sounding from him.
I couldn't help the smile that slide on my face, tears sliding down my cheeks, my eyes then moved to Edward, but taking in his expression, I noticed his eyes were even darker than before, and his furious expression was pointed directly at me.
"Edward no," The other man said quickly, and in a speed I didn't understand he had handed my baby to a nurse that stood at the door, ushering her out of the room, and locking the door.
"What are you do- I was about to speak but as a growl rolled out of Edward's mouth, I felt my jaw drop in fear.
Before I could say any more he lunged forward, his face just inches from my face.
"Edward!" The other man said and went to move to the both of us, before suddenly a pain was pinched at my neck, and I gasped out in pain.
As soon as I realized that he had just bit me, the other man had Edward away from me, talking to him in a calm but urgent voice.
Flames began to engulf my body, burning me from the inside out, making me scream. It hurt even more then the pregnancy all together, it was like falling into the deepest level of hell.
I closed my eyes tightly, feeling my body convulse under the pain, I no longer had any control over myself.
"Bella I am so sorry," I recognized Edward's voice.
"W-what did you do, to me," I whimpered out, feeling my body curl into a ball as I tried to overcome this pain.
"I'll explain everything when this is all over," He spoke, his voice sounding like he was about to cry.
How could I be scared… he just sounded so upset, and regretful, as long as my baby was safe, I didn't care what was to happen to me.
"My baby," I forced between my tightly clenched teeth.
"He is perfectly fine," He spoke, "You just need to rest, and please try to stay as quiet as possible,"
I wasn't sure if I could do this. Each minute of this fiery pain was like torture, I wanted to die. I wanted to be saved by this agony. I'd do anything.
But each time I had this thought, I had to tell myself, my baby needed me. I would be the one to care for him, no matter what.
"Am I going to die?"
Edward shook his head, his hand moving to my forehead, cooling my skin just enough to relieve some of the fire for just a second, but regardless, I appreciated it tremendously.
"This is hard to explain, I can guarantee you though, you will be reunited with your baby as soon as possible," He spoke gently.
This was all I needed to know.
Slowly I nodded, and closed my eyes tightly.
Then I would wait, for this torture to end, and get my explanation.
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