"The Universe's Supreme, Almighty, favorite talkshow host is here today to discuss the topic: Is Ice King really a weak fool?"
The Lich sat in a comfty pink leather chair. "Yes, yes he is."
Ice King raised a blue hand from his pink chair. "No, no he is not. He is totally awesomesauce and hangs out with hot babes and Vampire Queens on a daily basis and has two great best friends-"
The Lich interrupted. "That's irrelevant."
The Supreme, unnamed talkshow host smiled warmly at the Lich, which made him flinch. "Is there any particular reason you feel this way about Simon?"
The Ice King looked around, confused. "I thought we were talking about me?"
The Lich smiled, which really was a terrifying sight. "Would it be considered a crime against the universe if I punished him by giving all of his memory back?"
The host chuckled. "Yes, yes it was. Now how about answering my question?"
The Lich folded his arms with a thoughtful expression on his face. "It's self explanatory." He remarked, with a shrug.
Ice King frowned. "Still confused, we talkin' bout me or this Simon guy?"
The Lich rumbled, which was his laugh. "See right there? He doesn't even know what he IS! He watched his frikkin' origin tape and didn't process it at all! He doesn't understand the full potential of his powers, and is simply a bumbling old man who smells like penguins."
Ice King hesitated. "That was me, right?" He sniffed his robe. "Well, I do smell like penguins. But I'm not old!"
The Lich rolled his eyes. "You're exactly 1043 years."
The host frowned. "How do you know this?"
Lich smiled. "Perhaps because I watched the leaked episode of 'Simon and Marcy' on tumblr?"
The host giggled. "So if that's possible, can I have a large extra cheesy pizza?" It materialized in front of him.
Then the live audience went wild with all the things crowding up the place that people wanted, and then they all died of suffocation. The end.
Except for the Ice King. BECAUSE I CAN! :p