CHIRIKO LEARNS A LESSON IN LEMON
By SakuraWorshiper with the aid of Duo Maxwell and Kouneko

Disclaimer: I own nothing...I am incredibly poor...I own nothing but the clothes on my back..and my computer...Please don't sue me.

A/N: I don't own them, just thought I'd say that, cuz I *NEVER* disclaim my stuff.... -_-; Anyway.... This is dedicated to Duo and Koun, because they inspired this...... it's also dedicated to all those readers who have ever wondered: "How come in all these lemons, none of the other characters seem to notice anything that is going on?" Well, that's what this fic is about.... sort of... You can guess by the title so....... But knowing me by the time it's done I'll have changed the *entire* thing! -_-? Oh well........ Out of Character-ness for some parts, I think.... On with the fic!

Nuriko looked up from his mirror to see the moon rising to its highest point in the sky. He gasped. /That time already?!/ He counted 3.... 2.... 1 A scream ripped through the palace corridors and then went silent. Nuriko breathed a sigh of relief and returned to his mirror. Seconds later a wide-eyed Chiriko came into his room. He threw himself at the older seishi and Nuriko could see fear in his bright emerald orbs. (*AUTHOR DROOLS*)
"Nuriko-sama?"
Nuriko sighed and looked down at him, "what is it Chiriko?"
"I- I heard a scream..... Did you?"
Nuriko blinked, and then realized what had happened. He smacked his forehead, "tonight is the night that Mitsukake went out to get herbs, isn't it?"
Chiriko nodded his head. "Oh, I completely forgot it was my turn to stay with you!"
"Stay with me........ ??" Chiriko was completely lost. Nuriko sweat-dropped and searched for a way to get himself out of trouble. Before he could say anything though, another scream filled the night air, before dying into silence. Chiriko's eyes went wide and he ran to the door.
"Come on, Nuriko-sama! It sounds like someone is dying!" Nuriko had gone pale. He ran after the youngest seishi, trying to stop him.
"Chiriko.... wait!!" Chiriko turned his head back, and smashed into something hard. He fell to the floor and cried out in pain. He looked up to see Mitsukake standing over him. The doctor bent down and scooped him up off the floor. Nuriko caught up to them and stopped, breathing hard. Mitsukake looked at him reprovingly, "Nuriko. *You* were supposed to watch him. Did you forget?" The purple haired man looked at his feet in embarrassment.
"Hai...... I forgot. I'm sorry..." Chiriko was looking back and forth between the two, trying to figure out what was going on.
"Anooo........ What are you two talking about? Why do you have to watch me? And what are those screams from?"
The two older seishi looked at him and sweat-dropped. Mitsukake took Chiriko by the arm and started towards his room, "Maybe it's time we explained it. It would be a lot easier for everyone." Nuriko nodded his head and followed.
Once they were in the safety of Mitsukake's room Nuriko sank into a chair and Mits poured them all some tea. Chiriko looked on anxiously, wondering what it was that they were going to tell him. When they all had tea the doctor looked pointedly at Nuriko. The effeminate seishi's eyes went wide.
"Why do *I* have to tell him?!"
Mitsukake gave him an even stare, "it's because of you that he has to know at all. And besides, tomorrow *I'm* gonna have to be the one to tell those two to keep it down."

"Alright, alright! Fine, I'll tell him...." he turned to Chiriko and sighed, "Well it's like this-" Mitsukake jumped up from his seat, looking out the window. He hurriedly placed his hands over Chiriko's ears and closed his eyes, counting silently. "3... 2... 1." On cue an earthshattering shriek cut into the night. When all was quiet again, Mitsukake slowly lowered his hands. Chiriko looked around bewildered.
"What is going on?"
Nuriko laughed nervously, "um..... you're smart right? You read a lot too, right?"
"Hai."
"Well...... you know all about the act of reproduction right?"
"Hai......." Chiriko had begun to blush.
"Well......." Nuriko pulled out a chart from subspace and set it up. A pointer appeared in his hand. Mitsukake sweat-dropped as he tried to drink his tea. Chiriko wanted to run when he saw that there was a very detailed set of pictures in front of him.
Nuriko seemed to have thrown himself into his "teaching" and didn't feel at all embarrassed, "This," he pointed at the picture of a man's reproductive organ, "is the penis, as I'm sure you know. This," he pointed to another picture, "is a man's anal opening." The "professor" turned to Chiriko, "as I'm sure you have noticed, Tasuki and Chichiri are a couple. They love each other. Now," he turned back to the chart, "when two men love each other, they join by the seme thrusting his penis into the uke. Much like a man and woman, only no baby is made, and it hurts a bit more."
Chiriko was staring wide-eyed, not sure what to say. Nuriko sighed and put away his chart and pointer, "we have reason to believe that Tasuki is the seme and Chichiri is the uke. Do you understand?"
"So..... you're saying the screams I have been hearing are caused by the friction of Tasuki's penis rubbing against Chichiri's anal passageway?"
Mitsukake snorted into his cup and Nuriko didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Chiriko just stared at them, with an uncanny innocence.
He blinked, "what? Is it a bad thing?"
"Well........" Nuriko hesitated, "men who love other men are frowned upon. They aren't encouraged."
"But, *you* love the Emperor... Is that not the same?"
"Umm........ It's one thing to be in love. It's another thing *entirely* to scare little children at night with screaming. That's why Mitsukake and Hotohori are going to talk to them tomorrow."
"Ahh...... I think I understand now. But," The two older men looked at him, "but where does the sperm go? I mean, if it is not searching for eggs, then what happens to it?" He asked innocently. Nuriko face-planted and Mitsukake spit his tea onto the floor.
"Chiriko. I think you've learned enough for tonight. It's time for you to go to bed."
Chiriko looked like he was going to cry but then he hopped down from his chair and ran to the door.
"Alright. Thank's for the lesson! Oyasumi nasai!" He waved and ran out.
"Nuriko."
"Hai?"
"Make sure he goes to *his* room."
Nuriko sweat-dropped and ran out the door, "hai hai."
***

The next morning a servant knocked on Tasuki's bedroom door.
"Whad'ya want?"
"His Majesty requests the presences of Tasuki and Chichiri in Mitsukake's room immediately."
Muffled sounds came from inside, "Tasuki, Hotohori wants to see us! We can do that later!"
"I don wanna do it later! I want you now....." Small whimpers, gasps and moans could be heard from the room. The servant blushed and cleared his throat, "Excuse me, my lords, but the Emperor awaits you..."
"Hai! Tell him we'll be there right away no da." The servant wished them well and ran off.
Inside the room, Tasuki was nibbling on his lovers ear, pressing a burning erection into the curve of Chichiri's ass.
"Chiri... I need you...... Come on..."
Chichiri tried to roll over, as his own erection was being forced painfully into the mattress, "Tasuki, we can do that later. Hotohori and Mitsukake are waiting for us no da-ahhhhh!" Tasuki had flipped him over and was now rubbing his member against Chichiri's, "Tasuki stop." He teleported to the other side of the room and began to dress.
Tasuki pouted, but reluctantly dressed as well. Chichiri sighed and took his lover in his arms, "Tasuki, I promise to make it worthwhile tonight."
"You promise?"
"Hai." To seal the promise, Chichiri kissed his lover quickly and then took his hand. They made their way to Mitsukake's room, where they found Hotohori and Mits waiting for them. The Emperor looked a little upset at their tardiness, but Mitsukake was calmly sipping his tea. When the couple entered, the doctor offered them both tea.
Once everyone was settled Hotohori cleared his throat, "I don't really know how to say this, so I'm going to just say it straight out. Mitsukake and I summoned you here because we are concerned about your, er, nighttime habits."
Tasuki and Chichiri wore puzzled expressions, "our nighttime habits?"
Mitsukake set down his teacup, "he means your love making. We are concerned about the noise that you make at night. It is disturbing."
The two blushed, "it is?"
"Chichiri, your screams can probably be heard all the way in Kutou."
Chichiri blushed even more.
"Last night, Chiriko thought someone was dying. Nuriko gave him a very educating lesson about what the screams he kept hearing really were."
"You are also keeping my servants up at night. They are all complaining that they are tired, due to the ear-splitting screams that keep them awake. I, as the Emperor, have to tell you to keep it down," Hotohori gave them a meaningful look.
Tasuki looked shock, "what d'ya want me to do? Gag him?" Chichiri flushed red in embarrassment, and then sent Tasuki flying into the opposite wall.
Mitsukake lifted an eyebrow, "I have to admit Chichiri, you are the oldest, and at times, the wisest. It just amazes me that a man as calm and knowing as you, would be the screaming type in a sexual relationship." Everyone stared at the doctor, as he calmly took a sip of his tea. Tasuki stood, rubbing his temple.
"Hey! How come you aren't sending *him* into any walls?"
"Because you look cute when you fly, no da."
"Ch' sure....... you just can't keep your hands off me......"

"What was that no da?"
"Nan demo nai!"
Hotohori, sensing an upcoming lovers quarrel, cleared his throat again, "Excuse me. But we need to find a solution to this problem. This kind of behavior can not continue."
Mitsukake muttered into his now empty teacup, "I feel like I'm talking to a couple of five year old's....." /Although five year old's aren't usually involved in sexual relationships..../
"So, what are we supposed to do about it no da?"
"Well..... you could try not screaming?"
"Yea right! Have either of you ever had any sexual interactions before? The experience is mind blowing!"
Hotohori and Mits paled and sweat-dropped, "I can't say that I have......... Ok, skip that then. You could not do it at all?"
The look on the Tasuki and Chichiri's faces told them the idea did not go over to well.
"Ok, um.......... Chichiri, can't you put up a sound barrier? So that no one can hear what's going on in your room?"
"I've tried that no da. I can't keep a barrier up while doing.... that.... It falters because I can't focus on it na no da."
They all sat in silence for a few minutes. Then the door banged open and a flustered looking Chiriko came in carrying a scroll.
"I found it! I have the answer to your problems!" Mitsukake choked into his now refilled teacup and the others just sweat-dropped as Chiriko waved the scroll around in the air.
"Chiriko, what are you talking about?"
"Well, I knew that you would try to find a solution for the screaming problem, so I thought that I could help you!" he smiled triumphantly as he opened the scroll, "I was up reading all night and this morning but I finally found it!"
"Found what no da?"
"The Silent Spell! I knew I had heard of it before! Here, look!" he pointed to a section in the scroll, "You just cast this spell over the area that you want to be silent and then all the noise in that place can not be heard from anywhere else. Chichiri, you can cast this spell over Tasuki's room, and then you can be as loud as you want!" He beamed up at them, not noticing that they had all gone pale, except Mitsukake.
He just calmly sipped his tea, "I told you Nuriko gave him an educating lesson last night..."
Chichiri took the scroll from Chiriko and looked over the spell, "this looks pretty simple no da. It should work, and it only needs to be applied once na no da. That's good, so I can focus on.... other..... things. Thank you Chiriko no da." Chiriko was looking very proud of himself.
"Your welcome, Chichiri-san! But I'm sure you want to go see if it works, so I'll be going now!" He waved at the adults but when he reached the door he turned, "oh yea. I forgot! I have a question."
"What is it no da?"
"Where does the-" He didn't get to finish as Mitsukake had jumped up and was now pushing Chiriko out the door.
"That's enough now. Maybe you can ask later."
"Hey! I want to know!"
"That's too bad. Maybe when you get older."

Chichiri, Tasuki and Hotohori stared after them, blinked, looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders.
"Well, I am glad that this matter has been resolved. I must return to my duties, and I am sure that you two have more, er, interesting things you could be doing...." Hotohori stood and made his way to the door.
"Yer damn right we do!" Tasuki turned to his lover with a mischievous glint in his eyes, "I am gonna make you scream louder then you ever have in yer entire life!"
Chichiri giggled as Tasuki began to nibble at his neck, "Tasuki no da! We have to go back to our room and cast the spell first!"
"Then let's go...." Chichiri teleported himself and Tasuki back to their room and quickly cast the spell as outlined on the scroll.
The palace was blissfully silent and no one was even slightly aware of the two lovers, screwing each other senseless again, and again and again.

FIN