Author's Note: Due to all the wonderful feedback I've gotten on this piece, I've decided to write a sequel to it entitled "Dusk". It will be up soon, but I thought I would post a preview for it here. Please enjoy this preview and I hope you look into "Dusk" once I post it soon! Also, inuzukagirl1, feel free to translate this story! Just give me credit both in the summary of the story and in the actual story itself. Once your story is up, I will link to it in my homepage. Thanks!
"Even if I say
It'll be all right
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it all around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late."
—Three Days Grace, "Never Too Late"
Heaven had been nothing but a load of crap.
It hadn't been paradise and while Dean conceded that it hadn't been Hell, it sure wasn't what he had pictured it to be. Trapped forever reliving some of your greatest hits? How was that "eternal peace" or whatever Heaven claimed to be? Not to mention that fact that all of Sam's memories had been him on his own—fucking Flagstaff, Sam? Really?—while Dean's had been about family, the one thing that kept him going.
"Figures." He muttered darkly as he pushed the Impala down the dirt road at an alarming speed. He wanted nothing more but to get away—get away from Sam who kept looking at him like he would break at any second, get away from the pain that Sam's lies had brought him, and get away from the weight on his shoulders. The world was ending and Dean had no idea how to save it. He was damned if he gave into the angels and damned if he didn't.
And Sam . . .
He loved his brother. Yeah, that love was hard to summon at times because it was being crushed by all the hurt and pain that had consumed him since last year, but it was there. At the end of the day, Sam was his little brother and there was nothing he wouldn't do for that kid.
His phone rang and Dean ignored it with a pang of sadness and a twinge of anger. It was Sam, no doubt, probably asking him to come back and that he was sorry. God, the oldest Winchester was sick of that word.
I'm sorry, Dean.
Sorry didn't make things better. It wouldn't prevent the world from imploding and for once it wouldn't make things right. He thought he was over Sam's betrayals, but now . . . after Heaven, Dean wasn't so sure. Doubt consumed him. Maybe he hadn't secured a place in Sam's life. After all, Sam had wanted out since—
"No." He hissed, hands tightening on the steering wheel. He couldn't think like this. This was what Heaven wanted—to think that his little brother no longer cared for him. Without realizing it, he reached for the amulet, only to not feel it.
Right. He had thrown that out.
Guilt washed over him, not for the first time. Throwing out the amulet and storming out definitely wasn't on his list of "smartest moves ever". He shouldn't have let his emotions get the best of him, he should've thought before he—
His phone beeped and sighing, Dean pulled the car over to the side of the road and pulled the phone to his ear, ready to hear what Sam had to say. The phone; however, began to ring again and slightly perplexed, Dean answered it.
"Dean? You with your brother?" Bobby's voice was full of concern, bordering on the edge of hysteria and that immediately set the older brother on edge.
"No," He replied, guilt consuming him now. He never should've left! What had he been thinking? "What's wrong?"
"Balls," Bobby cursed. "What the hell was that boy thinking leaving a message like that?"
"Bobby!" Dean interjected, panic threatening to engulf him. His grip on the phone shook slightly. "What's wrong with Sam?"
"He called me," The gruff family friend began. "Said he was sorry for everything and that this was the last mess I would have to clean up for him—"
"No." The oldest Winchester breathed. This couldn't be happening. Sam wouldn't do something like this, would he?
"He left me coordinates, Dean," Bobby continued. "I think he's . . . I think he's going to kill himself, son."
And the fragile hold on his sanity that Dean had been able to maintain since the apocalypse began crumbled in that very moment.
Author's Note: "Dusk" will be posted soon! I hope you look into it when it is up. Thanks!