"When Life Sucks a Bouquet of Bush Daises"
Rating: T for imagery and language
Summary: Post "Tori Get's Stuck" Robbie is in the hospital because he's recovering from surgery; Tori, from hypovolemia; and Jade – Jade just had bad luck. Tandre/Bade/Cabbie
A/N: I've been wanting to write a follow up to this episode ever since I saw it. I know it's a comedy, but there were so many things that bothered me. Not even the comedic aspects, the medical – I'm a nurse, and so yeah…but I eventually let it go, but still, I want to write something, still humorous, but a little more realistic.
Los Angeles General Hospital
PACU (Post Anesthesia Recovery Unit)
Rex's voice sounded underwater and really far away, and also feminine.
But that might be because of the needle he felt in his arm, the drugs as well.
He peeled his eyes open and there was a big red blob, like one of those abstract art paintings his Mamaw would gush over at the art museums they visited every other Saturday.
"Are you awake?"
Robbie blinked again and the abstract became realism. Big brown eyes, red velvet hair. And a smile that would knock him off his feet if he wesn't already lying down.
Cat was holding his hand, and she squeezed it when he said her name. "Yes! Your amnesia's cured!" She let go of his hand, but started rubbing his wrist. "How do you feel?"
"Okay."Robbie winced a bit as he surveyed himself. His bed was angled at 45 degrees and his feet were raised in stirrups like he'd be forced to witness that time his Mamaw insisted he come to her gynecologist appointment. He tentatively felt along his stomach, processing the absence of bandages. And the fact that his butt hurt a whole lot.
Which only led to bad thoughts about just exactly how they performed the surgery.
Beside his bed there was a large specimen jar, and floating inside it in preservative (for whatever reason) was the yellow Pontiac convertible. It looked a little grody from being inside him for the last 9 years.
"Wow," Robbie winced and picked up the jar, seeing the car swim inside the liquid. "Here's something I haven't seen in a while."
"It's pretty," Cat tapped the jar with a pink manicured finger.
"Thanks," Robbie said, even though it was a weird thing to be talking about a plastic car doctor's just retrieved out of his ass. But Cat was holding his hand after surgery, and she was smiling at him.
"Where's everyone else?" Robbie questioned.
"Downstairs in the Emergency Room with Tori," Cat responded.
Robbie sat up at her words, or as much as he could half suspended in mid air. "What's going on, is she okay?"
"She fell at the play, but the doctors say that after she gets all her blood back inside her she'll be fine." Cat said this almost calmly, like it was a weather report.
"Oh my god," Robbie said. "This is my fault-"
"Don't say that!" Cat argued
"If she hadn't given me blood for surgery, she wouldn't be here-" Robbie was trying to do something stupid, like sit up an hour after surgery. He failed, and fell back against the bed with a squeak.
"She wanted too," Cat said, her hand in his afro of hair. "And the ER's not so bad, it's fun, like a circus, " She rubbed his curls and smiled.
Los Angeles General Hospital
The brightly colored wig fell off the gurney and hit the ground like a splatter of paint. The man on said gurney, in a polka dot costume and big red shoes, writhed as a team of nurses in blue scrubs started taking vitals and asking a string of questions.
The curtain of the exam room was partway closed, but not closed enough. And it wasn't like real wall, which meant that Andre could see and hear everything.
"Why would someone mug a clown?"
Beside him, Jade looked down at her black manicure "They probably thought it was funny."
Andre shot her a look. He and Jade were in a plastic row of seats along a wall that counted as the "waiting area", but in reality, bled into the examination area. His eyes kept moving back to a set of double doors that proclaimed the areas 'Exam Room 5' Tori was behind it with her parents. Since Andre wasn't immediate family, he wasn't allowed back. "I wonder how Tori's doing."
"Dude, she's fine." Jade said a little too casually "There hasn't been any red leaking out from underneath the door."
Andre gave her a look between weirded out and a little pissed off. "You know, this is your fault! If you hadn't kept jacking around with her blood she wouldn't be in there!"
"Oh this is my fault?" Jade said in disbelief. "What kind of jacked up hospital takes three pints of blood from a teenager in one day?"
"Do you even hear yourself?" Andre demanded.
"All the time." Jade responded.
"You know what," Andre glared at her. "Forget you, Jade!" He started to walk away.
"Hey!" Jade grabbed his arm before he could go anywhere. "I didn't mean anything by it. I just got carried away."
"Carried away?" Andre's voice was shrill. "Siltowitz drinking concentrated month old coconut juice is getting carried away, this is one step short of having your meals served to your through a flap in the bars."
Jade had a far off look in her eyes. "I've always wanted to taste prison food." When Andre looked ready to attack her with the IV pole sitting in the corner she held up her hands. "Maybe I went too far, okay?" she wasn't joking this time. "Is that what you wanna hear?"
Andre glanced back behind him at the closed doors. "Not me."
As if he had special powers, the doors opened, and Holly Vega and her husband came out.
"Hey," Andre walked over to them, and they met halfway in the room, next to the clown who was squeezing what sounded like a bike horn dejectedly. "How is she?"
Daniel Vega turned towards his daughter's friend. "She'll be fine. They want to keep her here over night to transfuse her, but they say she'll make a full recovery."
Andre didn't hide the relief in his face, but it only lasted a second before his face registered confusion. "Wait, the doc told us that they didn't have enough of her kind of blood-"
"The doctor's an idiot!" Daniel interrupted.
Andre looked a little shocked at his outburst. Even Jade did too.
Daniel looked a little shocked himself "Sorry," he threw up his hands.
Holly Vega rubbed her husband's shoulder. "He's just a little upset."
"O negative blood isn't very common, like only 7% of the population have it." Daniel returned to Andre. He wasn't a doctor, he was a cop, but his oldest brother was a Paramedic, and he himself had field training in first aid. "But it can be given to anyone. That's why blood banks try to stock pile the stuff for emergencies. I made that dumb ass in there call after Tori got here-"
"So Robbie didn't even need to have Tori's blood?" Andre asked, gesturing with his hands while he talked. "They could have just called this place and gotten some?"
"Unless they drastically needed the 20 pints of O negative blood the Medical Director of the LA blood bank told me is stored there, yes they could have," Daniel sounded exasperated enough to wish for his gun which was padlocked in his lock box at home. "I also had to pull a cop move on them when they wanted to only hold one pint of blood for Robbie's operation-" Daniel took a moment to rub at his head like he had a headache.
"Wow, you must have been busy," Jade side barred.
Daniel turned to Jade with a bit of an exasperated look. He started rubbing his head back and forth into his hand. "Andre, Tori's been asking for you-"
"Oh yeah, sure," Andre said "Excuse me." he carefully pushed past Mrs. Vega, and walked off hurriedly into the exam room.
"Jade," Daniel looked slowly up from his hands.
Jade West prided herself on being a bit of a bad ass. And also of not being afraid of anything Vega. But Tori's 5'11 cop dad standing there in front of her, might have made a few strands of hair on the back of her head rise.
She folded her hands neatly against her lap and looked up, trying to be as doleful as possible "Yes Sir."
"I-"Daniel pointed a finger at her. "You-!" he stared at Jade's face, where she was blinking green eyes at him. "Don't do that again!"
Jade made a crossing her heart motion across her chest. "Promise."
The curtain area with the clown behind it burst open and a doctor in green scrubs and a lab coat poked his head out. "Hey, this clown's going south, somebody bring the AED cart over here !"
A blur of a nurse in purple scrubs came whizzing past the nurses' station pushing a large metal cabinet on wheels that resembled a huge tool box.
And she ran that tool cart right by Jade,
And into Jade.
Which sent Jade crashing into an IV pole, then onto the ground.
Where there was an audible 'crack' as her lower foot was bent backwards.
Jade turned over on a pile of alcohol wipes, her hair askew. "I said I promise!"
She clutched at her foot through her boot at the same time Holly Vega dropped down beside her.
ER Exam Room 5
Tori turned her head on the pillow to the sound of skidding feet and a lot of swearing outside the door,. "What's all that noise?"
"Maybe the clown's doing a magic act," Andre ventured sitting in a metal stool beside her bed. He eyed her critically "You feeling any better?"
"Tired," she said the one word slowly, like it was maple syrup coming out of a tree. She glanced over her other shoulder at the two bags of O negative blood hanging from an infusion pump, and flowing down from a needle into her vein.
There had actually been competent doctors down in the ER, and they warned her that getting a blood transfusion wasn't an easy thing, especially such a large volume. Her pressure had been in the low 70's when she got there, but after a pint it had climbed up enough to where she was stable. But still, she already felt woozy from the blood loss, but the blood gain going into her arm made her feel even more like crap.
Not to mention the huge freakin 18 guage needle stuck in her arm, and she really hated needles. "I wanna leave."
"Hey don't worry," Andre rubbed the inside of her left arm with his hand. "Just rest up, and you'll be home in no time."
She gave him a bit of a wan smile. "Thanks for trying to catch me."
"Thanks for not being heavy," he returned.
"You know if I weren't so tired I'd kill you for that." Tori said. She bent her arm upwards and Andre caught her hand and laced her fingers through his.
Someone rushed past the exam room, a familiar someone, with dark brown hair.
Which made Andre sit up "Is that?-"
Tori looked at him in confusion. "What?"
Andre climbed off the stool he was sitting on, one leg at a time. He was still attached to her hand. "I'll be back in a sec." he gave a quick kiss to the back of her hand. brief, but sweet, and laid it back down beside her.
"That's what they all say." Tori said settling back on her bed and closed her eyes.
Andre stepped outside into pandemonium. Nurses running around, a security cop leading a group of clowns away that kept screaming: "this isn't funny!"
And also into Beck.
"Whoa man," Andre said at seeing his friend there. "I thought you were with your Aunt in Calabasas-"
"Jade texted me," he sounded a bit out of breath, like he had run up to the fifth floor instead of taking the elevator.
"She told you about Robbie and Tori?" Andre asked.
Beck turned to him in baffled confusion. "Something happened to Robbie and Tori too?"
"Too?" Now Andre sounded confused.
But it was cut off by the sound of a lot of swearing coming from a very familiar female voice.
Beck didn't bother to explain, but threw himself into the throng of nurses, Andre right behind him.
"That's my girlfriend, that's my girlfriend!" Beck screamed a little louder, which made the nearest nurse release him.
Jade was sitting up on a gurney, screaming bloody murder and ripping out the oxygen and suction extension hook ups attached to the wall. Her right boot was off, and her foot was bent at a very wrong angle.
Tori's parents were beside Jade, as well as the young looking doctor in blue scrubs.
"What happened?" Andre asked while Beck dropped down beside Jade.
The doctor looked up from where he was trying to pin Jade's arm down with one of the nurses. "We ah, might have broken her foot with a crash cart."
Beck and Andre screamed at the same time.
Jade bolted up from the bed and looked at the doctor with hostile eyes. "Might? Might? I can wave my toes around like a door!" She threw her head back down in a groan.
The doctor looked over at Beck. "You the boyfriend?"
"Yeah," Beck said around all of Jade's noise.
"Distract her," he said, grabbing the bottom of Jade's foot. "This is gonna hurt a lot, we accidentally sent all our local anesthesia to the women's hospital across the street."
"What?" Jade screamed.
"Okay, on three," the doctor said.
"No, don't you dare!" Jade started screaming.
"One," the doctor said
"You want to keep your hands-!"
"Twothree!" The doctor torque Jade's broke foot up.
There was a huge click, Jade screamed and kicked the doctor in the chin, making him fly backwards onto the ground.
"It's okay," Beck caught Jade when she fell back, panting against him. "You're okay," he rubbed her neck and shoulders at the same time the doctor picked himself up off the floor.
Jade screams died down into muffles against Beck's shirt, she turned and melted into his chest as he continued to rub her back.
"Circulation seems to be intact," he picked his glasses from where they hung off the side of his ear and righted them on his face. He looked over at the nearest nurse. "Put her in a walking cast, and give her some crutches." he patted Jade's foot. "Don't worry, we'll get you all fixed up," he leaned in closer to the bed "And let's just pretend this never happened, okay honey?"
Jade pulled herself up from Beck, her eyes were almost solid black from dilation. Her breathing was a growl.
Beck looked over at the doctor in a 'what the hell dude?' expression.
Jade picked up her 'good' foot, the one with the combat boot, and knocked the doctor hard in the side of the face.
This time he went down and stayed down.
Beck leaned over Jade's shoulder and looked at the unconscious man. "That mean's no."
The hospital had a severe shortage of rooms, so Tori was allocated to stay in the ER exam room, being pushed against the wall, along with her blood bags. At least until her dad came in and raised so much hell.
Now the room was 'closed off for official police business' and an orderly had gone across the street to Nozu to bring his daughter her favorite green tea.
Tori had been asleep under the half light's dimmed for her eyes (thanks to her over protective dad again). But her eyes opened again when Andre pushed through them again.
"Hey sunshine," he smiled at her.
She returned his smile and added a finger wave "Hey."
"Brought you a little something." He was holding a plastic wrapped bouquet of flowers under his arm, and he handed them to her, revealing them to be white daisies. "The best the gift shop had to offer. They're not Bush Dasies, I checked."
"Aww, They're beautiful, thanks," she roughed up his braids. "And look," she pointed back behind her, to where there was only a single unit of blood. "I'm almost topped off."
"Hey good deal," Andre said, not really knowing what else to say. But he smiled at her.
"Yeah," Tori said "I've been stuck like 20 times today and it doesn't faze me anymore. I'm street."
This time Andre laughed, and was back to holding her hand. "You're hardcore baby."
The door pushed open and Robbie walked pushed through with the aid of a walker. He was wrapped up in a white robe, socks on his feet. "There she is," He smiled at Tori. Behind him, Cat held the door open so Robbie wouldn't fall over because he wasn't the most coordinated normally.
"Hey look who's up and around," Tori said with a smile.
Robbie limped his way inside. "Look who's not," his voice sounded a bit dejected. "I'm really sorry about all this Tori."
"It's not your fault," Cat said in his defense. "It's that little car that was inside you's fault. I don't think you should buy that model again, it's defective."
There was a pause, as there always was when Cat sat something a bit off the wall.
But then Tori spoke: "Cat's right Robbie, I'm glad I helped you. Anyway you weren't the one who kept jacking up my blood."
"Somebody call me?" Jade was at the door, that was held open by Beck, limping in on a set of crutches. A dark black booted walking cast on her broken foot.
Tori sat up a little in the bed. "Oh my god, Jade-"
"What happened?" Robbie asked.
"Jade got hit by a-"
"Yeah, we're not talking about it!" Jade cut Andre off, she hobbled a bit more on her crutches, not very successfully.
"You want me to carry you?" Beck offered.
Jade shot him a look, but then deflated for a moment. "Yes please."
"Come on," Beck turned to her and Jade held out her arms and lifted her up. He started to walk her towards the blue vinyl chair, but she stopped him, muttering: "the swivel, the swivel chair!"
Beck finally got Jade into the "swivel" chair, and she straightened her black blouse out, before clearing her throat and looking up.
"Ye-ah," Tori sounded a bit unsure, because conversations with Jade never ended out well.
Jade shot a glance behind her at Beck. A moment later he came behind her and pushed the chair forward until it was beside Tori's bed.
"I'm, I mean," she cleared her throat again and looked down at her hands. "I'm sorry, for you know, draining your blood, and trying to kill you with Bush Daisies."
Tori stole a glance down at Jade's broken foot. "I'd say we're even."
Jade shot her head up with a glare.
"And I forgive you." Tori said, she placed a hand on Jade's shoulder.
Jade rolled her eyes for a moment at the contact, but it ended it a dry laugh. "Thanks."
Beck came up behind Jade and set warm hands on her shoulders.
"This is nice." Cat suddenly proclaimed with a smile.
"Yeah," Beck said with a shake of his head, sitting down on a gray stool and pulling it up next to Jade. His eyes went from Robbie with no pants, in socks and a walker, Tori in a hospital bed, with what looked like a bag of blood running into her arm, and Jade, who had thrown her heavy cast up onto his lap. "Just your average Friday Night."