Rated PG-13 for language.
Rowling's characters are not mine!

By Any Other Name
Read this story with illustrations!

Chapter One.
The Set Up
Juliet: That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet.

I can't believe they think I'm gay. Yeah, it's true that I'm the only girl to play Seeker at Hogwarts since Miss Hooch dueled for the right to play years and years ago. And, yeah, it's true that Gryffindor boys keep challenging me to Quidditch duels and that I fly circles around them and kick Quidditch ass as I defend my place on the reserve team.

Yeah, I'm on the reserve team. I'd be on the regular team if it wasn't for James, who could go professional if he wanted. He's my friend, so I try not to hope too much he'll fall of his broom and give me a chance. As if! He's too good; it'll never happen. You can tell that I'm not playing for glory though, but because I love the game. The reserve teams barely get any attention. Most of our games there's no one in the stands. Well. Except for the Marauders, but they're so rabid about Quidditch, I don't think they count.

But anyway, standing here in this boy's locker room inhaling the sweetsour smell of boys leaning into manhood, pushed almost beyond endurance by a good game, naked and dripping sweat... Whhhoooaaah! Yum.

I can't believe they think I'm gay. I suppose if I told all the other girls how dee-lish the boy's locker room was, I'd have to fight twice as many Quidditch duels, so I guess I'll live with my slightly suspect girl-jock reputation.

However, since I am the only girl on any of the teams, the school has no girl's locker rooms. Most practices and games I use the Hufflepuff boys' locker rooms. I don't tend to use the Ravenclaw locker rooms because they are filled with annoying posters about Quidditch strategy and talking mirrors which constantly list all the Quidditch fouls one should avoid and, for Merlin's sake, if there was ever a game that shouldn't be over-intellectualized it's Quidditch!

So, on those occasions when the Gryffindor Reserves play the Hufflepuff Reserves, I go change in the Slytherin locker rooms. I like the Slytherin locker rooms; they're green and quiet and those hot, sweaty Purebloods smell just as yummy as the hot, sweaty Huffies. ....God, I can't believe they think I'm gay!

Right. Anyway. The Huffies, who are sweet and trusting and chivalrous gave me a key, but the Slytherins ....duh! ...did not. Every time I use the snake rooms, I have to ask a Slytherin to open it for me.

And I usually ask Sev, because he's my lab partner in Potions and he's slightly less of an asshole than the rest of the reptiles. He's well trained now, too. I say, "Is it going to be a long fight ending with Dumbledore giving you a direct order or are you just going to give me the goddamn key right now?" and Sev sneers, hands it to me and says," Back in my hands the second you're done with it or I'll poison your pumpkin juice."

It's a working relationship. Yeah. So you can see why Sev was my first choice for assistance when I had that tit versus bludger problem.


Okay, let me explain...

I found Lily in the back of the seventh year student lab in the middle of a sigiled chalk circle. She had her wand in her hand and was gesturing to the four quarters. "If you're summoning demons, then I'm telling," I said.

Lily didn't bat an eye. "Well, I'm not, so you can relax."

"Good, because you're in the circle. That's the way you end up getting chewed into little bits."

Lily turned and drew a final sigil in the air. "Awww. Are you worried about me, Sev?"

"No way! Absolutely not! It's just I'm sure I'd get stuck with the detention and have to mop your sticky remains off the classroom floor. Couldn't you do this in the forest and let the bugs eat you?"

"Needed a nice stone floor to draw a perfect circle," she said. Charms is Lily's best subject. I have no idea what she is doing for her Final Project, I'm certain it's nothing Dark or demony, but whatever it is, it looks hard.

"Ah. ....Wanna make a postmortem mopping potion for homework, then?" I said.

She rolled her eyes at me. "Oh, Sev." I keep telling her not to call me that, but it makes absolutely no difference. The girl does whatever she wants.

Lily cleaned up her Charms project, and pulled out the ingredients for our Potions homework. I set out some glassware and did a quick ignition charm under a beaker. We got to work.

An hour later we had a vial of something roiling and pink that smelled terrible. "Eeurg. Here, you drink it, Lily."

"No way! You drink it!"

"Hey, why me? I thought you were one of those women libers and wanted to do stuff like this."

Lily looked balefully at me. "That's libber, not liber, and I want the opportunity to kick your ass, not the opportunity to puke all over your shoes. That is the wrong colour. I'm not drinking it."

"Yeah. Me either. Let's start all over," I said. I think we turned the heat down too soon. Boil exactly 10 minutes, not nine and three quarters. I looked at the 10 minute hourglass I'd been timing with. Faulty, I bet. I reached under a counter and swapped it for a different hourglass.

Lily grabbed the beaker and the vial and poured them out in the sink. "Have you ever wondered where dumped out potions go?" I said and then answered my own question. "To the lake. To be ingested by the giant squid."

"That poor thing," said Lily and she laughed evilly and skipped over to the cabinet to fetch more ingredients, while I washed up the glassware so we could have a second go.

I help her with Potions, she helps me with Charms. It's a working relationship. So you can see why when she asked me to help her with her tit versus bludger problem, I eventually said yes.


.....Okay, me either.

Read this story with illustrations!

I wrote the whole outline for this story,
but it's turned out even more baked than I thought it would be.
What do you think? Do you like QuidditchJock!Lily?
If you want more, review! The next chapter would be titled The Pitch.