I Knew You Were Trouble
When I arrive at the Heathman, the tears have dried on my face but the anxiety still swells deep inside me. I long for Christian's warm embrace, for his strong arms to curl around me and tell me it's okay. I know this is silly; I've only known him a week! But there's something about him... He makes me feel alive. I can't see my future without him. And that scares me terribly.
After a short elevator ride and a minute walk, I'm knocking at Christians door. Then he comes into view, looking more breathtakingly handsome than ever. I fall against him without warning, hanging on tightly.
Hesitantly, he wraps his arms around me, giving in to me. He buries his face in my hair, inhaling deeply. The place where his nose brushes my neck burns, sending warmth through me. And it feels so good, so deliciously good, that I never want to let go.
Of course, he's the first one to pull away. "What are you doing here, Anastasia?"
"Can we sit?" I ask.
He doesn't answer; he merely steps aside, letting me through.
"I don't understand what happened earlier," I confess. "Why you shut me out so quickly, without any precedent. But you're the only one who could possibly fix what just happened."
Christian studies me, then seems to come to a decision. He steps closer.
"Let me make a deal with you. You tell me what's going on, and I'll tell you everything."
I raise my eyebrow. "Everything?"
I take a deep breath, then it all comes flooding back. "They're letting her out, Christian. They're letting Kate out of Brighten Hill and they've barely even fixed her yet! She's fooling them, I just know it. She wants to get out so she can get revenge."
He strides over, sitting next to me on the bed. "That can't be right. I'm sure Dr. Flynn will see to it that she's fully recovered before releasing her."
"Who's Dr. Flynn?" I ask.
"My personal psychiatrist and good friend. He works at Brighten Hill. I'll give him a call tomorrow," Christian says.
I let out a sigh of relief, briefly laying my hand on his. "Thank you, Christian. I knew you were the only one who would understand..."
We've grown closer and when I look up at him, his face is mere inches away from mine. I can feel his breath on my face. My heart starts racing at his proximity and I get the sudden urge to touch him again.
"Your turn," I whisper.
Timidly, he begins. "The reason for my behavior earlier was caused by a dose of inferiority. I shouldn't have taken it out on you, it had every bit to do with my brother."
"Elliot?" I ask, my eyebrows creasing. "But why?"
"My brother has a certain charm of his own, wouldn't you agree?" He leans away from me and I feel a veil fall between us.
"No, Christian, you're wrong-"
"There's nothing I can give you that he can't."
"Christian, surely you must know..." I trail off, desperately trying to make him see but suddenly choked to death with fear. "You must know how I feel about you..."
He meets my eyes. "How do you feel about me?"
"Well..." I mutter, trying to form a coherent thought. His grey eyes are hypnotizing me, sending me spiraling once more.
"Anastasia?" He asks softly, brushing my cheek with his fingertip.
Suddenly I know I can't do it. This fire, his touch, those mind-blowing eyes- it's all too much. I can't bare my soul to him, tell him how I feel. I could never be that vulnerable so soon. "I-I care about you, Christian. You know I do. And-and Elliot and I are merely friends. Besides, he doesn't hold a torch to you."
Christian still doesn't seem convinced.
"What is it?" I ask. "Why can't you trust me?"
"I trust you, Ana. It's him I don't trust."
"Because he's done it before," he answers in a gravelly voice. "Stole the girl, went behind my back, made me a fool."
I pause for a moment, trying to come up with a response to this new information. How could Elliot do that? "That's horrible, Christian. I'm so sorry that happened to you. But I would never do that to you. Leila is a terrible human being. No, she's worse than that. She's a downright whore." It felt good to say something mean about Christian's ex- my hatred for this woman only growing stronger.
I can feel his eyes on me, absorbing every crevice of my being. My skin burns red. "What?" I ask.
He opens and closes his mouth twice. I realize this is the first time I've ever seen him struggle for words.
"I... I couldn't live with myself... If I didn't fight for you. With everything I have."
My heart skips a beat. "Christian, what are you-?"
I don't have time to finish the question. Because in the next second Christian's lips are on mine. Suddenly it's as if my body is being controlled by one single desire. I taste his lips, revel in the feel of them against mine. I realize how starved I've been for this man. When his hand trails down my back I almost moan. I arch my back, pressing myself against him.
"Christian..." I sigh as his mouth traveled up and down my neck.
I brought his mouth back to mine. He kissed me harder, lower, and positioned himself on top of me. The weight of him felt incredible. I yanked his hair and he looked into my needy eyes. I was in awe of his beauty. And when that sexy smirk graced his face I attacked it. And I must admit, I attacked it good.
I placed firm kisses on his perfect lips and then coaxed them open, starting on his top before I attacked his bottom lip. I wanted a taste, and I didn't care that my heart was beating frantically out of my chest. I wanted to taste him and taste him I did.
It seemed as if we were making out forever before I heard him say, "Bedroom."
Actually he growled it. Lips still locked, he sat me up and placed his hand in mine. We broke for air as he pulled me up off the sofa. We stood there and kissed for a while longer before he started walking backwards towards the bedroom.
I thought, this was it. I was going to lose my virginity to Christian Grey. Then suddenly my heart seized with fear. Was this the right time? My body wanted him, but my mind was saying slow down, it's too soon. Hell, I didn't care. I wanted this man. But then my legs stopped moving.
"What's wrong?" he whispered as his lips trailed behind my ear.
"I don't know?"
He stopped to look at me before smiling, "You ready?"
I thought I was, but I couldn't move. I tried to remind myself that this was what I wanted but I knew that I already liked Christian way too much. And after everything that's happened...
"Christian, I can't," involuntarily came out of my mouth.
The next thing I knew he had me pushed up on a wall as his body pinned mine. He vigorously placed kisses up and down my neck, as he pressed harder against me. I could feel exactly how much he wanted to do this when his legs bent lower and his very hard member started to move up and down my panty covered sex.
"Let me show you how much I can give you..." He nibbled on my earlobe and the sensation echoed directly to my center.
I had officially lost my mind. "Christian! Ohhh…I…I...can't."
He grabbed my hands and placed them firmly above my head, causing my back to arch. My sensitive nipples rubbed along his chest as his lips brushed over my outer ear. My entire body shivered as he whispered, "I want you."
"I want you too," I breathlessly admitted.
He groaned in response and kissed me harder. His tongue slid along my bottom lip, before his teeth pulled it into his awaiting mouth. The room filled with moans as our tongues explored each other.
I tried several times to pull away, but he was very good at pleading his case.
His hands seared my flesh as they began to lift my dress, exploring every inch as they slid up my body. When they reached my breast I panicked, and breathed out, "Stop."
He placed his forehead against mine as we both gasped for air. "Ana, I'm not going to make you do anything you're not comfortable doing."
"Christian. I'm not saying I don't want to do this. I just don't think I'm ready to do this now. Oh god! You're going to hate me!" I buried my face in his chest.
"I could never hate you," he said, as if that were the most preposterous thing. "And definitely not because you want to wait. I know you're a virgin and I am not going to pressure you. Hey," He placed his hands on each side of my face lifting me to look at him. Embarrassment colored my cheeks. "Don't hide from me, Anastasia. I need to see your face."
I looked up and saw the most sincere expression. "Christian, I really didn't mean for it to get this far. I know it's hard for you guys to—you know."
"Not going to lie to you, it's hard," he said with a grin. "But I believe you're worth the wait."
I dropped my head against his chest again, except this time it was from sheer unlikelihood. I mean, aside from all the obvious flaws, Christian Grey was my perfect man. "I can't believe this."
"That's what I thought the first time I saw you."
This man was going to kill me.
A/N Sorry for the long wait! Glad to see me back? :)
So Ana stopped Christian. How do you feel about this? Please review and thanks for reading! You're awesome!