A Buffy The Vampire Slayer Fanfiction

Setting: Early season six. May be read as a companion piece to Red, though should make sense seperately as well.
Pairings: Spike/Buffy/Angel love triangle
Themes: Buffy's perspective on coming back, her memories of being in the asylum, her relationships, and watching her friends change. The plot will eventually be AU, but will stick fairly close to canon to begin with.

Chapter One


Sharp edges and flames. The melted air distorts, making black rivers of the streets. The air damp with laughs like empty pits in dirt. The dirt. Her nails ache with blood. Warm wet down her hands. She smells iron on herself, rot. Clothes stiff and heavy as she walks. Her legs remember the movement, like a code. Or like cold; sunken into the roots of her bones, a pain the moves outwards through her nerves, forcing her forward.

Nothing here has meaning. Blank, black space closes on her vision, swarms her edges. She can't separate herself from anything around her. No senses, no sense. No self.

I used to be someone, not just this body. This body has no clear edges, no clear end.

The streets swallow her.

Evil laughs.


"You're back, Buffy. You're really back."

She holds her sister close to her, feels wet cheeks against the neck. Her, Buffy's, neck. She is Buffy. She's back.

And she loves her sister. Love spreads through drugged insides. Slow. But faster than pain.


She watches the water. The liquid listens to no one but gravity. It's only thought is movement. Flow and flow and flow, following itself back to the ocean. Down the holes, slinking through cracks until it reaches wholeness. Swimming through itself, boundaries dissolved, cycling, circling. Connected to the complete.

Her mouth, mouthing words. She breathes out sounds that don't reach her ears. The name, Dawn, connected to her sister, but only thinly. A long thread to follow, and she's can feel her energy draining. She didn't used to feel this... nothing. Cough syrup stick in all her limbs.

Water dashes the sink, smashes metal echoes. The pipes never run out. Water pours. Liquid white with movement.

Willow reaches a hand to turn off the tap. Squeak.

She (Buffy) tries to bring herself back into her own head. Back into the shape of her body: the signals moving through her eyes. The conversations floating through her ears.

You're alive again. You have to start living again.

The door opens and Xander announces the plumber. She makes herself turn around.

Heaven is over.


a/n: Thank you so much for reading my story! I hope you enjoy it so far, and it would mean a lot to me if you left a review to let me know what you think.