AUTHORESS: Amaya~Ikari


TITLE: Breaking Through

ANIME: Naruto

PAIRING: Yaoi and Hentai: NarutoXSasuke/GarraXNeji/SaiXIno

STATUS: Multichapter: Incomplete


WARNINGS: Sex between two males, sex between male and female, mentions of abuse, mentions of sexual abuse, mentions of neglect, mental abuse, dark themes, self-harming, psychological themes.

~There are no wrong turns. Only paths we had not known we were meant to walk~

Naruto groaned when he was rudely pulled from his precious sleep. Keeping his face buried in his pillow, he blindly waved his hand around onto his nightstand until it found his alarm clock, promptly slamming the off button on the demonic device. "Mornings start way too early." He mumbled, sitting up in his bed and rubbing his blonde hair, making it even more unruly. And just as quickly as it started, his annoyance was gone and replaced with joy that no one should be allowed to have at six in the morning.

He leapt out of bed, nearly tripping over a large orange cat. "I told you to stop trying to kill me in the mornings. If I'm gone, who will feed you?" He said, shaking a finger in the cat's face as though it cared about what he was talking about, which he didn't. He went to the bathroom to shower and make himself ready to face the day, coming out in a towel; he tore through his dressers, putting on black jeans and a blinding orange shirt. He went into the kitchen, sitting down at the table where some papers were strewn on the surface. He picked them up, skimming over them. He'd spent most of the week mulling them over, but better safe than sorry when it came to his forgetfulness. All though, that seemed to come and go… His friends even said it was voluntary. How in the world could forgetfulness be voluntary?

He shook his head, looking down when something bumped his foot. He huffed, seeing a food bowl being pushed against him. "Kyuubi is it impossible for you to wait a minute?" He asked the cat, whom swished his tail. Naruto stood up and filled Kyuubi's bowl with food, glancing at the clock as he did so. It was almost seven; he should leave soon so he could make it to work before eight thirty.

Naruto found himself drifting into a reverie, when he was a failing, class clown in middle school. No one, including most teachers, thought he would never amount to anything big. They told him he would be a minimum wage servant if he didn't get his act together. Which took almost four years, but he pulled himself together when he was about fifteen. He hated school, but he tried to get good grades and pushed himself through college. The proof of this was the degree in psychiatry that sat proudly in the living room.

He'd had a rough childhood, problems of his own that few people helped with, and the few that did could only help so much. He didn't like the thought of other people going through what he had, so he went into psychology and psychiatry to get qualified to help others with the problems that people would ridicule or pretend didn't matter. They needed comfort; people that cared enough to help them through and find a permanent cure for them.

He was twenty-four, and today was the first day he was visiting patients that had been assigned to him from the mental hospital he worked at. He'd learned they didn't like to be called "insane asylums" or "loony bins" or any other comical terms he used when he was younger. Funny thing, even the word crazy had been pushed from his vocabulary. People called them other things, such as unstable or mentally handicapped, which to him didn't seem much better. He didn't see a nice way to refer to someone that, quite frankly, just needed the right support.

He had read through the files of the three people that had been assigned to him. All three were young men that had apparently been at the asylum since they were rather young, he only had received basic information on them and would receive more details when he visited the hospital to get their files from the computers and talk to the doctors. He knew a few of the people working there, having met them in school or being introduced upon finding a job there. He'd not seen much of the place or any of the patients, and he had first day anxiety but was still pleased to be working. He picked up his keys, getting ready for the day ahead.

He petted Kyuubi, ignoring the disapproving look of his cat before throwing on his jacket and leaving. He hopped into his dark blue Saturn, starting the car and pulling out of the small yard. He lived in a simple, two bedroom and two bathroom house that he had lived in since he was a teenager. He'd been an orphan from birth, not knowing anything about his birthparents. He learned bits and pieces as he grew up. The home was old, having belonged to a close family friend that acted as one of his guardians, Tsunade.

He hummed as he drove, rolling his eyes when morning traffic began. There should be laws about what time people should leave based on what time they needed to be where they were going. Well, maybe that wouldn't work so well… He made a note to start leaving earlier, seeing as he needed to drive to the opposite edge of the city. He arrived with ten minutes to spare. He sat in the car a minute, eyeing the seriously unwelcoming building. It was a three story brick building with very few windows. "Maybe it's a safety precaution?" He mused as he got out. It was set literally at the outskirts of Konoha city, the trees surrounding the outside area leading into the dense forests. This gave the area eerie dimness and creeping shadows.

He walked past the automatic doors, finding that while it was old fashioned on the outside it was more modernized inside. He walked down the short hallway to the reception desk, noticing the lack of color. It was white and gray walls with black carpets. Black was a depressing color when you looked at it daily without any other splash of color.

"Naruto, glad to see you made it on time for once!" He heard a female voice say. He recognized Tsunade's voice, turning to see the woman that acted as his guardian and worked as one of the managers here, she'd been a doctor for many years. "Hi Granny, figured I'd make a good impression on the first day!" He smiled cheekily, wincing when the blonde woman cuffed him on the head. "Don't call me that! Come on, I'll get you the files. I want you to read them today and tomorrow is when you officially begin to work with the patients." She said, quickly returning to her formal business personality.

"You said they haven't even been with a psychiatrist before?" Naruto asked, accepting the file of papers. Reading used to be boring, now it wasn't all that bad. Tsunade shook her head. "Well, they've all three seen a few different doctors and been under a couple of studies, but they responded negatively and they were removed from each doctor's care due to stress on both sides and danger to the doctors. They don't deal well with anyone and while in different forms, have trouble coping with emotions." Naruto raised a brow; emotional disorders? "Two of your patients have shown physical aggression, and one is very prone to violence and is what we consider dangerous. He was arrested for the murder of two people but when he was deemed mentally ill, he was brought to the asylum and has attempted to kill others during his time here. I felt I should warn you." She said, twisting her mouth to the side as if waiting to see if Naruto would leave or not.

He was caught off guard by the mention of murder, that was more than he'd bargained for but in this profession you had to be prepared for anything. "And what makes anyone think I'll be different than the others?" He asked, wondering why he would be assigned to patients with such serious problems seeing as he had little experience. "To be honest, you're a last hope kind of deal." Tsunade said, rubbing her forehead. "They want to lock them away since nothing has gotten through to them, and besides; you're close to their age and proving to be prodigal in psychology, we're hoping you can find a way to get through to them. You have similar pasts, you can relate, you can understand parts of them no one else could." She said, voice softening. She was a bold woman, but she cared about people, especially her patients in the hospital. Naruto got a faraway look in his eyes, as if he was looking back into the past. He shook himself free of the daydream, nodding his head. "I'll do everything I can for them." He swore, making the promise to himself and to the three boys being placed in his care. Tsunade smiled, kissing his forehead.

"I trust that you will. I need to leave, study the files and I will see you tomorrow." She then hesitated, for a second. "If this gets to be too much, know that you can leave at any time." She said before leaving. Naruto's eyes narrowed at that. He had a choice to leave, to quit this and forget about the patients and anyone here. But none of them did. How many had walked out on them already? Maybe that was part of their problems; no one cared enough to stick with them.

He drove home, luckily avoiding traffic seeing as it was only midday. He sighed as he walked into his home, flipping the lights on and undoubtedly pissing off Kyuubi by blinding him and sending him flying for dark sanctuary. The blonde snickered at that, setting the files down on the coffee table and flopping onto the couch. "That's what you get for scratching my face while I was asleep!" He called after the orange monster, sighing as he opened the first folder. He'd probably be up all night going through them. He looked at the name, raising a brow. This kid didn't even have a last name, in fact there was hardly any history on him at all.

Name: Sai

Age: Nineteen

Gender: Male

Sai was found at the age of ten, in an abandoned home, without any memory of who he was or why he was there. He has no recollection of any parents or family and has been in and out of several foster homes. He has been described as having numerous social disorders, reports have been marked as saying he could not associate with other children and seems to have little to no understanding of proper communication and socialization, thought to be due to his years of neglect and apparent absence of parental figures. He shows signs of aggression and is violent and rude towards others, resulting in being kept in solitary confinement often. He is thought to suffer from multiple personality disorder, to make up for lack of friends. He is also thought to have Tourette Syndrome, but no confirmation has been made. He doesn't seem to understand what he says, or its effect on others.

Naruto stared at the paper with a furrowed brow, chewing on the end of his pen in an attempt to not bite his nails and break the "bad habit." The paper went on almost repetitively about how this boy, Sai, was incapable of creating relationships and was an antisocial outcast. Perhaps he didn't remember his past because he had been abused? He could have repressed it and this would explain some supposed lack of mental development. He looked at the next name, shifting to be more comfortable. He hoped he hadn't bitten off more than he could chew.

Name: Sabaku Gaara

Age: Twenty

Gender: Male

Garra has been in and out of the asylum since he was nine years old. He has had trouble socializing with other children, and was an outcast at a young age, causing him to grow cold and lack empathy. His mother died not long after his premature birth and he was raised by his father and uncle. He has made stories of being used as a "weapon", his father beating him and telling him he was useless. When he was eleven, he had been at home with his family and brutally murdered his father and uncle. He has since been diagnosed with Schizophrenia, being seen and heard talking to someone he called "Mother."

He has aggressively assaulted numerous doctors and workers, vowing to kill anyone that came too close. He has been described as having an intense hatred of other humans and desire for bloodshed, possessing psychopathic tendencies. In the past doctors have reported his whispers of hate and sorrow, hearing mentions of his uncle, and asking why he was hated. This is thought to be a mental disorder due to premature birth hindering his mental growth and causing him to distance himself from others.

Naruto had felt his heart sink to the floor as he read on about Gaara's attacks towards his older brother and sister, his merciless and thoughtless attacks towards others. He had wounded several people here, but no fatalities had occurred. He doubted the other doctors, when he noticed Gaara clearly showed signs of manipulation. It was sickening. His job was to get them to open up and reveal their pasts and pain, and to see if he could help them. He took a deep breath, reaching down to pet Kyuubi when he hopped up beside him, sensing Naruto's upset. He picked up the next file, swallowing hard. He paused, eyes widening slightly. He recognized the name.

Name: Uchiha Sasuke

Age: Twenty-Two

Gender: Male

Sasuke entered psychological help when he was eight, his entire family was murdered by a masked serial killer and his older brother Itachi was the only other survivor. His mind had been manipulated by numerous people to believe his brother had killed them. His older brother abandoned him, though when they met years later, Sasuke killed him. It had been under Itachi's wish to see Sasuke alone without supervision.

Sasuke is suspected to suffer from Bi-Polar and antisocial disorder. He has a hateful outward attitude and doesn't hesitate to attack anyone that touches him. He doesn't speak often if at all, the rare times he chooses to it is only a few words and never an answer to doctors. He has history of self-harming. He shows prodigal intelligence, and this has led to a shield that no doctor has been able to crack through and talk with him. He has trust issues and refuses to be around others, once saying he had no use for them.

Naruto remembered hearing about the Uchiha Massacre. Sasuke sounded misguided and had his childhood ripped from him, resulting in development problems. He set the files down and went to his room, falling into bed without undressing. He let Kyuubi nestle in the blankets, sighing softly. He would help these people in any way he could.

But could he break through their walls?


I have thought about this story for two years. I built it, I nurtured the idea, and kept telling myself eventually I would do it. But other things happened, other ideas were born. This idea has been waiting patiently, and now I give it life. This is the first story of mine with multiple pairings that I highlight, and I hope I can do it well. The main focus will of course be Naruto and Sasuke, but I'll open windows for the others as well. Writing about their disorders was draining, but I tried.

This story will hold personal truth and will be a healing story of sorts. Writing about life and its problems is an excellent way to heal. Some parts of this story might be painful or darker than some wish to read, and I have only studied psychology minimally and along with what has been spoken of with me, some information may not be accurate, but I will definitely try to get every fact straight. I also tried to judge their characters to determine which disorder they may truly suffer/have suffered.

I thought about who would be in the asylum and for what reason with Sasuke, and Garra stuck out of course. Sai was next, seeing as I've met kids like him, those who were kept hidden and neglected and then end up not knowing how to really deal with the outside world. I have other characters that will probably make an appearance, after all who can resist putting Hidan and Deidara in an insane asylum?

ALSO Kyuubi is his orange cat, because foxes are more akin to felines than canines. He will appear in more AU stories.

DOUBLE ALSO my car is a Saturn, but we got it from a family friend and have no idea which model… It only says Saturn. It's pretty awesome to drive though and since I know very little about cars, Naruto and I officially will drive the same car. All though I am terribly afraid of driving.