On the fuckass adventures of Karkat, Karkat and gamzee smoked weed. Karkat boyfrended Sollux. Eridan jealous fish hoe because Sollux with the Karkat. Aradia die from face implosion. Feferi die from face implosion. Kanaya die from face implosion. Vriska abused Tavros then die from face implosion. Nepeta is Karkat's pet cat. Sollux became boyfrended with Eridan. Karkat depressed. He and Gamzee got it poppin' and killed Eridan…but Eridan wasn't dead. They all became friends in the end. Gamzee became Karkat's lover…Happily ever after until he got Text from Terezi bout her being Gamzee's lover. Gamzee tells Kkarkat that she was his crazy ex that was obsessed with him. Karkat want to fight this bitch. He, kankri and all the trolls got it poppin' cuz Terezi and Latula was trippin'.
Now let's here from the handcestors.
This is there epic story.
In a universe called Housetrap, there was a troll named Kankri Vantas who saw everything being offensive. His lover was offensive, Cronus was offensive, his pet cat meaulin was obesesive, everything was offensive to this young sweater wearing man. He go to Beforus College too. I forgot to mention that.
Anyway, he wakes up to the sun that didn't burn him because of the powers his sweater had. ( thanks to Damara she possessed magic in the sweater. That is my headcanon ) He walks into Cronus's room and wakes him up my slapping his face. Cronus wakes up and gets off of bed full of cigerettes. Kankri looks at bed and says:
" Cronus, I am highly offended by this act. Why didn't you save me a cigarette?"
Cronus was like " I thought you didn't smoke "
And Kankri was like " I said I didn't smoke POT. I'm not my brother Karkat. You know this, Cronus ".
Cronus says " Okay, I'll make it up to you. I'll cook you diner this time. K?"
And Kankri was like " I want you to cook me cigarettes."
And Cronus was like " Alright. I'll cook you a plate full of cigarettes "
All have you know, Cronus was an amazing cook. Escpeically when it came to cooking cigarettes. Can you imagine? I know, it's in character all the twa.
The two left there apartment after breakfast eating gasoline and wires and walk down the street. They saw Kurloz on the corner, sniffing a bag full of stardust.
Kankri looks at Kurloz and says " Kurloz, come wit us, we're going to college". Kurloz nods and joins the gang,…still sniffing his stardust.
They make to there college and guess who was there! MITUNA! KANKRI'S LOVE!
" KARKRIT WHTAH TOOK YOU SO LONGE!1!1!1!1" Mituna spazzed like a sporadic shit monkey. Yes,…..a shit monkey.
Kankri hug him hard. They been together for six years.
" I was eating breakfast with Cronus. So, did any rad tricks that didn't offend anyone?"
" No. Not really. I havn't skated so much sense I left Latula. Grimy hoe was cheating on me with another guy" THEN HE SPAZZ ON FLOOR AGAIN. Kankri paps him.
He paps paps," we go in college now because I am highly offended by this" he drags boyfriend and cronus and kurloz follow in school. Canon.
( Remember that Kurloz is still sniffing crack up unitl this point )
In class, Rufioh came in with horse body and sat in chair. Kankri was amazed by this. He taps him on shoulder and says " Rufioh, the surgery looks not offensive!"
Rufioh smiles and says " Yeah, Horuss made this body for me after Damazra paralyzed me "
Kankri was like " Damara is my home girl, Rufioh. I am now offended by the fact you blame her for that ".
Rufioh says " I know, Karkat. But she's crazy."
Kankri slap shit out of Rufioh! " You offensive bitch! Ill fucking kill you Bitch!" He swinggin' to hit rufioh.
Rufioh was about to hit him back but Horuss stops him and Mituna and Cronus held Kanrki back because hah, they know that Kankri be getting it poppin.
Then the fat teacher sends Kankri to principle scratches office.
You see, Damara is like a sister to Kankri and he don't care what bitches, he gonna defend her no matter what.
Kankri sits infront of dr. scratch. " Kankri, your behavior is terring this college apart. Why did you fight Rufioh for. He just got his new surgery done and shit, he lookin' fly " says doc scratch.
Kankri sux teeth. " Doctor scratch he was being highly offensive! Everything he said was offensive! I did not tolerat how he talk about my sis Damara that way and so…..I got it poppin" he says with the look always give with the folded arms and closed eyes. Doctor crotch nods.
" Okay, I don't want it to happen again".
So Kankri left office. His friend cronus was waiting for him out side.
" So what happen?"
" Nothing. You bought some cigarettes?"
Cronus gave Kankri and cigarette and a lighter and the both smoked.
" If Rufioh says something offensive to me again, I'm going 2 fuck him up ".
" Kankri, you're wanna the smartest trolls in this joint. You can't just go around and fight people that offend you. You're better than this, you know? You used to be that Kankri that alwayshad something positive about him".
" I know, but their bitches, cronus. They keep popping shit!"
Cronus nods " I know, Vantas. But you have to ignore them. We can't be startin' beef with these guys."
Kankri folds his arms and hide head under turtleneck.
" I dun wanna tolk about it, let's go get lunch".
They went to luch.
Porrim, Damara, Mituna, Horuss, Meulin, and Kurloz was sitting at table. Kankri and Cronus join them.
" Kankri, I heard you got into a fight with Rrufioh. Why?"
" He was poppin' shit about Damara. You know how that offends me!"
To kill the gravity hump now, the Kankri on your face, and I bring shit to me
I bitch. I Kankri now. I have sex.
" Damara don't get involved in this, we got it from here" said cronus to her.
I eat a woman of the metal. This is my my my face. Kronos, I STATIC Tai you heard me? Sex it right now.
" Kankri, you havn't touched your fuckass" said porrim.
( remember his mom is in college too )
" Mom, I don't want to eat the fuckass…"says Kankri.
" I'll take the fuckass" says Horuss with whinney neigh in his voice and he takes that cuntsnack and ate it.
Horuss so did horuss did.
I will eat your cat. Kankri and Kronos, you wonder what you'd like to join me?
" Damara, I know this offended you" said Kankri.
I do not want to eat this crappy food, the Kankri. I want to eat shit food higher standard. Fuck this. Chronos, do you want to be cooked?
"look, Damara, just don't worry about it. How about we all go out and do non-offensive things?"
It snack woman fuck shit this is all I rufioh kill damn gravity, the human race has been caused by shit and eat kankri is porrim mother. God Bless America
" That's the spirit!" said Porrim with glee.
Amelie man, this sucks. I refused to listen to the monkey. are now in need of faygo. I am, please do not be fucking stupid us. Our country. Our faces. My face. I suck it up. Nothing sexual intercourse. Good monkey.
Damara was right! They all should see a movie!
They all left school after that to continue there adventures and watch that movie! YEYEAH!
TO BE CONTINUED!