DEAN: This ain't cuttin' it, Sam. I know you had your little summer fling, but you're gonna have to tell me what the hell you've been doing for the past year. You two must have come up for air at least once.
SAM: I told you-
DEAN: Yeah, "there was a girl and then there wasn't." Care to elaborate?
SAM: The plot says I'm supposed to keep it a secret for forced dramatic tension, Dean. And you're not supposed to ask!
DEAN: Screw the damn plot, man. This is our lives here. We're at episode 10, and you know what happens by 23. We need to be as prepared as we can for whatever fresh hell is unleashed in May. Half of the shit we've gone through is because of you being tight lipped about things that were extremely relevant. So what is it this time? Did you make a deal with Crowley to bust me out? Huh? Steal an angel's grace from heaven's most ass-kicking security guard? Knock up one of those fairies from True Blood?
SAM: You know, you've got a lot of nerve telling me about keeping secrets. How the hell did you get out of Purgatory? What's up with you trusting vamps? Are we ever gonna get to the bottom of that?
DEAN: No! That's part of my PTSD arc! It's supposed to demonstrate that I can't trust anyone, even you, and that our codependent bond might be broken by another. I know we haven't shown it in a while, but it could still come back! Benny and me, we were brothers in battle, sworn to each other forever, yadda yadda. You can't possibly understand our bond! Besides, can't a guy have secrets?
SAM: (lifts eyebrow)
DEAN: Wha's that supposed to mean? (bristles) You tryna say somethin'?
SAM: (Rolls his eyes) Opening these places up always has a price, Dean. Remember seasons four and six?
DEAN: (phone rings) It's the plot. We have to spend an episode at the Ren fair. Come on.
DEAN: (munching on a churro) So where did the Leviathans go, I mean, did you kill 'am all? The big mouths were all over our asses in Purgatory, but when I got topside, it was like the air was 80% borax. Where'd they get to?
SAM: I...don't really know.
DEAN: What does that mean?
SAM: I don't know, I just kind of woke up in season eight and they were gone.
DEAN: What about the-
(phone rings again)
DEAN: Damn it! (answers) Yeah, yeah, we're coming!
SAM: Another one?
DEAN: Yeah, we gotta fight Nazis now.
DEAN: What, am I speaking French?
SAM: (mumbling) I hope not, if we're gonna fight Nazis.
SAM: So I guess we're closing the gates of hell, huh?
DEAN: Looks like it.
SAM: Do you think these trials will end up killing one of us?
DEAN: Tell me what show we're on and ask me that question again.
SAM: This will probably have unforeseen consequences, won't it?
DEAN: Nothing gets past you, does it Sammy?
SAM: Shouldn't we, I don't know, investigate them? We should probably figure out what exactly is happening to me, what with my Bloody Cough of Death, and all.
DEAN: (Holds up script) No dice. I guess it's supposed to be a "surprise" later, so we're supposed to pretend like we're new at this and don't know what to expect. That's why we can't do or talk about any of the stuff we learned before now. We have to keep obvious and needless secrets without any motivation to keep the audience in "suspense." All the mysteries would be solved to quickly if we used common sense, you see.
SAM: (sighs) Why am I always the one who has to turn into a monster?
DEAN: Prob'ly cause your hair's so voluptuous. It's a good villain look.
SAM: (gives middle finger)
DEAN: (tosses churro paper out the Impala window) C'mon. We gotta go save Chrissy from a cult leader type. And after that, episode 19 looks like it'll be buckets of fun for you...might wanna get a flame suit, Sammy.
SAM: (looks worried at Dean's grin)