Tag to 8.03, "Heartache."

(Sam, Dean, and Castiel are at a gas station. Castiel sits on the trunk, eating a barbeque sandwich from Arby's, while Dean tosses trash into a big garbage bag. Sam sits in the front seat, snacking on chicken tenders and rifling through the script. Angels are still falling, though none have landed near them since they stopped to eat.)

CASTIEL: Eating is much more satisfying when one is hungry.

DEAN: (scowls) Is it? I wouldn't know, Cas, since I'm the one cleaning up all this mess while you two chow down!

SAM: (mutters) It's your baby.

DEAN: (throws an empty beer can in through Sam's window)

CASTIEL: I've tried to assist you, Dean.

DEAN: You tried to tear out the back seat cup holder. That's the kind of help we can all do without, thanks.

CASTIEL: My apologies. It was quite soiled. I assumed it was refuse.

SAM: (laughs) Don't worry, Cas. I don't think he or my dad ever cleaned that thing.

DEAN: What about you? You were always the one in the back seat!

SAM: (shrugs, continues shuffling the pages) That's what you get for never letting me ride shotgun.

CASTIEL: (opens bun and pokes through meat with his fingers) I don't believe this substance is actually breast of domesticated fowl.

DEAN: Think that's bad? Wait 'till we hit McDonalds.

SAM: (sets chicken tenders on the dashboard) Hey, Dean! Remember this?

DEAN: (leans in through the window to read the page) Oh, yeah. More awkward dialogue. "Congratulations, you're fast?" Were they in a race?

SAM: I don't think so, but I guess they could have been running an impromptu midnight triathlon.

DEAN: (reads the next few lines) Ouch! Talk about an achy-breaky heart.

SAM: (grabs a chicken tender) This sheriff guy is pretty funny, too. I like that he implies that guy is innocent because the dead guy is more physically fit. Like that was the one obstacle to tearing that guy's heart out of his chest bare-handed.

DEAN: And this monster gets a good amount of distance between kills. Glad the others are less mobile.

SAM: (turns page) Poor Arthur. Going insane, and he has two different colored eyes. Really adds to the creepy factor.

DEAN: He's like that Dr. Walden guy from Smallville.

SAM: And he had a super-powered jailbreak, too, I think.

DEAN: It was a nuthouse, actually.

SAM: (throws the empty box of fries out the window)

DEAN: (scowls)

SAM: What? You're already out there.

DEAN: (snatches the box off the ground and throws it into the bag)

SAM: Aww, look at you. Playing with your new iPhone.

DEAN: Yeah, well, thanks to you, I was trapped in the Tremors verse fighting for my life for the past year. Missed some of the fun stuff.

SAM: Maybe we should take you to the Apple store and you can take one of those classes with all the old people in it.

DEAN: Go to hell, Sam.

SAM: At least it's actually a useful app, a translation one.

DEAN: I wonder if that's a real thing.

SAM: If it's not, it should be.

DEAN: (checks the app store)

SAM: (scans the page) Hey, it's Neela from NICU.

DEAN: (is doubtful, then checks credits on SuperWiki on his phone) Is not. And that was Parminder Nagra on ER. What the hell is NICU?

SAM: Whatever, it was something like that. And it looks and sounds just like her.

DEAN: Her accent is completely different, though.

SAM: What? She sounds like she's from England, just like Neela!

DEAN: Neela's accent was clearly midlands, while this chick's was obviously not!

SAM: (turns and stares at Dean in confusion) How could you possibly know that?

DEAN: I know my hot chicks from hospital shows, okay?

SAM: (rolls eyes and goes back to turning pages)

DEAN: So…that chick outside the club, was she a stripper, or some kind of…I don't know, bondage dancer?

SAM: Bondage dancer?

DEAN: I don't know, they guy was like, "Must have taken years of practice," so I thought maybe she was doing something…special.

SAM: (chuckles) Who cares?

DEAN: She was wearing a leather dress, Sam. I care.

SAM: That was a lot of eyelash, too.

DEAN: (laughing) Poor guy. Nothing like dyin' chasing p-

CASTIEL: (jumps down off the trunk) I've figured it out. It's primarily hindquarters, though they've advertised the meat as breast.

DEAN: Very good, Cas. At this rate, you'll be able to finally tell the world whether or not a bear shits in the woods.

CASTIEL: (takes bite of sandwich) Well, assuming by 'shits' you mean 'defecates' –

SAM: (laughs)

DEAN: (sighs and grabs some receipts off the floor of the car) Just…forget it, man.

SAM: (starts car) Hey, your oil light is on, Dean.

DEAN: Dammit. (reaches in pocket and hands Castiel some cash) Here. Go inside and get some oil.

CASTIEL: Is there only one variety?

DEAN: At this dump, you better believe it.

CASTIEL: (walks away, still eating his sandwich)

DEAN: (shakes his head, looks over Sam's shoulder) Another confusing scene with us.

SAM: Yeah, I mean…what is the deal? Weren't you just super pissed at me about hanging you out to dry in Purgatory? And now you're like, "We belong together? Hive five!"

DEAN: Chalk it up to the PTSD, huh?

SAM: I guess.

DEAN: And what about you? "Maybe you're better off alone, not having to explain yourself?" Explain myself to who? How long has it been since you objected to my hunting, or asked me to "explain myself" about it?

SAM: Since like season one.

DEAN: Has Carver watched any of the episodes since he left?

SAM: Doesn't look like it. This is the same argument we had when I got back from Stanford after Jess died. We haven't been these people in like seven years.

DEAN: And you "want your time to count for something?" It already did! We stopped the friggin' apocalypse! That "counts."

SAM: Ah, but all that happened after season three when Carver left. Guess he didn't pay much attention to characterization. Or maybe he just read the recaps of the episodes and didn't watch them.

DEAN: Probably. That was a lot of episodes.

SAM: And how do you know Brick died in a car crash during the last year? Weren't you in Purgatory when it happened, then?

DEAN: (shrugs) Maybe Dick brought his mobile hotspot with him and I read about it on TMZ.

SAM: (laughs)

DEAN: Gotta say, he had some dedication, though. Athlete through the ages, that Brick.

SAM: The effects team really poured their heart and soul into pasting Brick's face onto all those old photos. Nothing about them looked fake in any way at all.

DEAN: Definitely didn't looked doctored.

SAM: Funny how we never brought that up, given how egregiously obvious it is. We kind of looked like idiots.

DEAN: (chuckles) It like when they CGI'd that pet cat on Charmed and just pretended there was nothing at all wrong.

SAM: This premise is kind of epic though.

DEAN: And the haunted-body-parts thing was done much better than it was in season six.

SAM: And what deal was this he made with Cacao? Wasn't the god already getting sacrifices? Was he giving Cacao special sacrifices?

DEAN: Don't think too hard about it, Sam. Just enjoy the awesome.

SAM: 'Kay.

DEAN: (reaches into front seat to grab some trash) Damned if that wasn't the sketchiest strip club we ever went to.

SAM: Yeah, checkerboard peel-n-stick tile is a bad sign as far as class goes.

DEAN: This guest star was a good actress. Too bad they didn't cast her as Amelia.

SAM: (rolls eyes)

DEAN: Pretty, too.

SAM: Can't save her from that dialogue, though. "I became freaking Xena, Warrior Princess."

DEAN: Yeah, that was rough.

SAM: Even so, she's got you pinned pretty good there, Dean. Maybe she is a bondage dancer.

DEAN: Told you.

SAM: Guess the sacrifice spell also gives the person with Brick's heart handy dandy mind control powers over the other body parts.

DEAN: Thinking too hard again, Sam. (grins) Just enjoy the hot chick walking around a light-up stripper pole and caressing my chest.

SAM: (looks uncomfortable)

DEAN: And in conclusion…I guess you Just Want to Be Normal.

SAM: And you are a Warrior and just want to Do The Job and Stay Together as a Family.

DEAN: How could you Betray Your Loved Ones like this, Sam? This thing killed our mom!

SAM: I always wanted to Go To College, Dean! Why can't you support my dreams?

DEAN: How will we ever resolve this conflict? We have to get past this! By gum, we've got to Find Dad, Sammy! And get back to business!

SAM: Saving People?

DEAN: And Hunting Things!

SAM: What a fresh story arc. I wonder how we can ever mend such an insurmountable and totally unfamiliar rift.

DEAN: (reads as Sam turns the page) Ah, yes, good. Another incredibly awkward and strangely-timed flashback.

SAM: It's…nice.

DEAN: It should be. It's a picnic right? But for some reason it's creepy, Sam. It just is.

SAM: What's wrong with it?

DEAN: The whole thing…it's like an uncanny valley, but for a whole situation, not just a human-looking thing. It's so staged and unnatural.

SAM: I guess it was brighter and sunnier than 90% of our scenes…

DEAN: I felt like you were about to declare yourself Claritin Clear, someone would peel the filter away from the corner of the screen.

SAM: (laughs)

DEAN: It had some real Cialis-Valtrex-Enzyte vibes about it, too. Like you two would start dancing and then you'd be like, "Now I can be ready when the moment's right."

SAM: (laughs harder)

CASTIEL: Is this the engine oil you needed?

DEAN: (looks at the bottle) This'll do. Hop in, Cas.

CASTIEL: (walks around the car to the other side)

DEAN: (ties up trash bag and puts it in the can between the pumps)

SAM: Your fries are getting cold in here, man.

DEAN: (drops into driver's seat) Yeah, but their fries suck anyway. Show me the meat.

SAM: (hands Dean his chicken) So, where should we go next? We got like four months until the hiatus is over.

DEAN: (starts car, remembers the oil, rolls eyes, pops the hood and gets out) Dunno. What do you want to do?

SAM: Uh…

DEAN: What?

SAM: Maybe we could go on a few hunts-

DEAN: Sam-

SAM: Nothing crazy. Just a ghost or two. We could use a good ol' salt and burn.

DEAN: (tosses oil bottle into the back seat) You're injured, remember?

SAM: (shrugs) Can't die between seasons.

DEAN: (starts car) Fair enough.

CASTIEL: This is a good idea, Sam. I'll need to refine my hunting abilities if I'm to be of any use without my grace in the coming season.

DEAN: (looks apprehensive) Okay, Cas. We did this during this season, and you weren't so good at following directions. You follow our orders and do it to the letter. That understood?


SAM: Way to be a drill sergeant, Dean. Cut him some slack.

DEAN: You'll be singing a different song if you're the one who has to go into the Haunted Basement of Death because he wandered down there and his flashlight ran out of batteries.

SAM: Yeah, well, we better stock up on supplies. Hardware store?

DEAN: Dick's or Home Depot?

SAM: Dick's. For old times' sake.