Will reached Tessa's mouth once again. As she felt him pluck at the strings of her corset timidly, she smiled against his mouth, lifting herself up by her elbows so that Will could pull free the ribbon at the top. He pulled at it slowly, meeting her gaze as he did so. She smiled at him encouragingly as his eyebrows pulled together in uncertainty. Once the knot was undone, Tessa felt like bricks had been lifted off of her chest and that she was finally free to breathe. Will pealed away her corset and flung it to the ground. Tessa giggled as he anxiously slid back up to her mouth. His hand slid down over the thin material of her chemise to her hip, where he gripped it tightly, as if she would float away if he let go. She felt as if she could float with Will touching her like this.
She felt the muscles of his abdomen tense against her stomach as she traced her fingers along his sides. She could feel the thin scars that protruded slightly off of his otherwise smooth skin as her fingers traveled lower down his back. He sucked in a breath when she stopped at the hemline of his trousers.
"I want this, Will."
He groaned softly as she twisted her fingers in the material. Her fingers shook slightly as they slid down to the clasp just below his navel. A light trail of hair tickled her fingertips as she brushed her fingers across his lower stomach. She felt him shudder and he caught her hand.
"Tess, what are you doing to me?" He whispered more to himself than to her as he leaned his forehead against hers.
"I honestly haven't the slightest idea." She breathed.
He chuckled and she felt his chest vibrate against hers. She gasped impetuously at the sensation. Will lowered his head into the crook of her neck and kissed her softly just below her ear. She closed her eyes and found the clasp of his trousers once again. Before he could stop her, she quickly snapped it open, causing him to jolt above her.
"Will, am I doing this… right?"
There was a pause.
"You could say that," he nearly choked. She smiled smugly at her success. Will suddenly held his breath as he lifted a shaking hand to the top of Tessa's chemise where the string held it closed. He gently drew the string from its knot and separated the two pieces of thin fabric just below her collarbone. Tessa's breath caught. Jem was the only other man she had ever allowed this action. She squeezed her eyes shut.
Her heart sputtered. How could she do this to him? Was she that selfish and horrible to engage in such forbidden acts with Will so quickly subsequent to Jem's… death? Jem was dead. Her fiancée was dead. She was disgusted with herself. She loved Jem; she always would, but she could not deny that she loved Will, too. She would give this to Will. This could be his last day and she would give herself to him, whether she disgusted herself or not. And no matter how much she tried to convince herself that this was for Will, she knew in her heart that she had always wanted to give him this.
Will, seeming to see the struggle in Tessa's eyes, paused in his movement.
"Tess, do you want me to stop?" He whispered.
"No, don't stop. Whatever you do, don't stop." With that he gently slid the chemise down her shoulder, tracing with his lips as it slid lower and lower. She felt his breath against her bare skin and shivered. Never had she felt anything like it.
She took his hand and lowered it to the bottom hem of the chemise and closed his fingers around it. He pressed his lips to the side of her mouth as he slid the hem up to her thigh.
This is it. She thought.
Slowly, very slowly, he lifted the chemise over her body until it came over her head and fell onto the floor. Tessa was trembling under Will's gaze. She was so very exposed in front of this man she loved and so very vulnerable. His gaze traveled her entire figure, head to toe. Finally, his eyes met hers and she could see the pure desire in them. She had never seen Will's gaze so dark. Not even when they were on the Lightwood's balcony. It made her warm on the inside.
"Tessa, you are so beautiful, it hurts," he breathed.
She arched her body up until she could meet her lips with his. As she lowered herself back down, Will went with her, never breaking the kiss. His arms wrapped around her until they were chest to chest, skin to skin. Tessa flattened herself against him and drew her nails across his back. He moaned against her mouth and tightened his hold on her. When they came up for air, Tessa giggled.
"Will," she said teasingly, "This hardly seems fair."
"What do you mean?" He asked, taken aback.
"I am completely naked and you still have on your trousers."
He blushed furiously, which caused her to laugh harder.
"How do you suggest I proceed in obliging you, madam?" He whispered against her mouth. Now it was her turn to blush.
"No need," she whispered back as she caught his trousers and gently pushed them down his hips. His breath caught and he closed his eyes. Once Tessa had pushed them as far as her arms would allow, Will took over; ridding himself of the material hastily and throwing them onto the pile below the bed. He returned and positioned himself between her legs once again, though this time was completely different. Tessa gasped. Never had she felt so womanly, yet so young and inexperienced at the same time. Aunt Harriett was no doubt thrashing in her grave.
Will took her face between his hands and kissed her gently on the mouth before spreading her legs wider with his hips.
"Tessa," he said fiercely, "I love you. I've wanted you for so long. I always will."
Then, slowly, he slid himself inside of her. She nearly screamed. She was being stretched in a way she never thought possible and it hurt. Was it supposed to hurt? He stayed there for a moment, letting her adjust.
"Tess, am I hurting you?" The worry was apparent in his voice though it only thinly covered the desire.
"I… don't stop," she said finally. "Please."
She was being driven by an instinct to keep going, she knew, even if it did hurt. Will slid out and pressed back into her, though this time, she lifted her hips to meat his. He moaned and ducked his head in the hollow between her neck and her shoulder.
"Good God," breathed into her ear.
They continued like this until the pain eventually subsided into pleasure and Tessa became considerably more vocal. She shrieked his name when his thrusts became faster and more erratic. Will gently covered her mouth with his hand and she smiled at him apologetically when he lifted it away.
"That wall … may be … impossible … to pass through, but … it is not soundproof," he murmured between the thrusts of his hips. She nodded and laced her fingers with his.
She could not help the yell that escaped her when something invisible began to build between them. Will seemed to struggle as well; his breathing became harsher and he could barely stifle the moans he let out against Tessa's mouth. Tessa bit her lip and cried out his name when the tension became too much and threw her over the edge in an earth-shattering moment of ecstasy. Will followed soon after, she figured, when he went ridged above her and let out a low groan that vibrated in his chest. He pressed into her once more before collapsing on top of her, knocking the wind out of her lungs. She felt boneless when he covered her face in kisses and lifted himself off of her to pull her against him. They lay there for what seemed like hours, exploring each others' bodies with lips and hands in the faint glow of torchlight. Tessa knew in that moment that she could never leave Will, no matter how much she would miss Jem. She decided that she would love Will enough for the both of them.
Until they could be reunited.