Cas woke up, which was something that was unusual in the first place because he didn't sleep. At least he hadn't use to. Now he finds himself sneaking into the impala late at night to sleep an hour or so before either Dean or Sam wake up and find him. He isn't human, he just gets tired. Really tired. It's no big deal, as Dean would probably say, except he wouldn't say that to Cas. Dean always has a way of taking things to be as worse as possible when they aren't about him. He isn't human, but he had a nightmare. He woke up with the leather seat underneath him and the sun casting long black shadows around him. His skin is sticky and moist under his clothes so he cleaned himself using grace and teleported the few feet needed to get into the boys motel room.
Dean was still asleep and Sam must have been in the shower because Cas could hear the water. He watched as Dean's chest moved slowly up and down and soft snoring noises came from his mouth. His mouth. Cas started staring at those perfectly crafted lips for a little too long when Sam somehow managed to sneak up behind him, clad in just a towel around his waist, his hair still dripping.
"Cas." Sam said, which caused the angel to jump inside his skin, though unnoticeable to the untrained eye.
"Sam." Cas acknowledged. But honestly, since when was a man able to sneak up on an angel?
"What are you doing?" He half chuckled, but was obviously curious.
"I was watching over him," Cas said with ease. He gave this excuse often but somehow knew this wasn't going to cut it this time.
"Okaaay, are you sure you weren't staring lustfully at my brother? 'Cuz that's sure what it looked like." Sam's face was more sympathetic than it should have been.
"Don't be ridiculous Sam." Cas said a little more assertively than he intended and walked over to sit at a chair in the corner of the room.
"You know Cas, it's okay. You know it's okay, right?" Sam pressed on.
"I really have no idea what you are talking about," Cas said while still staring at Dean.
"Right. Alright, fine. I'll stop prying into your personal business." Sam went back into the bathroom. The door shutting behind him woke Dean. His eyes found Cas right away, shutting them tightly and opening them fast as if to readjust his eyes in case of illusion.
"Good morning Dean." Cas smiled just a fraction.
"I hope to God you weren't sitting there all night watching me. Fucking creepy..." The last words were muffled into the pillow as he turned back into the bed. Most likely to escape the fluorescent lighting. Cas thought about breaking the lights in the room, but decided that might be less than pleasant for all of them right now. Sam's voice intruded the air.
"Wake up Dean!" There was a nagging in his voice. Cas smiled to himself. The normal brotherly bickering and shouting made them seem happy again. That's all he ever wanted, for them to be happy. But something at the bit of his vessel's stomach told him he was not happy. Perhaps it was Dean's... No. He pushed all thoughts aside. Dean groaned in response to Sam, so Cas decided to assist.
"I shall provide the sustenance this morning." He said excitedly, for Cas at least, and flew off to gather breakfast.
He gathered the best bacon, eggs and apple pie he could find for Dean. He didn't really know what Sam ate- he did eat, right? All humans ate. But he settled on some weird "breakfast salad". He likes those. By the time he made it back to the boys, Sam was brushing his teeth and Dean was in his boxers. They were a little tight for someone his build. Cas found himself staring at Dean's body, eyes moving from each unclothed limb and muscle. He swallowed hard before looking away at the floor and moving to turn towards the table and set the food down. "Breakfast." He stated. Dean walked up behind Cas, now in jeans and a tight black t-shirt. Cas hated when he wore that. It made his skin feel infested with bugs and his lungs and heart feel the similar to when he has drained his grace.
"Wow, thanks Cas." Dean took a bite, "fuck this is delicious too." Dean's mouth was still chewing but profanities seemed like honey in it regardless. Sam walked out of the bathroom finally and grabbed his salad. "Yeah, thanks Cas." He gave Cas a wink then, which made the angel more confused than ever. What was Same trying to tell him?!
Dean downed his food quickly and made a run for the impala. Somehow it began to precipitate lightly between his return and now. Sam went to check out of the motel and Cas waited outside the motel door.
"CAAAS!" An angry Dean shouted from the impala. Cas didn't bother moving, but shouted back instead.
"Get your ass over here you sonofabitch!" Cas sighed and reluctantly walked over to him. As he walked closer he began to panic. He had hoped Dean wouldn't realize he had been sleeping in his car, for some reason he was terrified of that. But it looked to be too late.
"Why the Hell are their wet feathers in the back seat? Please tell me this isn't some freaking angel molting thing." Dean wasn't just angry in his voice, his eyebrows were close together and his nose was slightly scrunched.
"No, Dean..." Cas's face started to heat up.
"Well how did this happen, because I am a hundred percent sure than a bird didn't get in here and fly around until they sweat their feathers off, and you are the only other person who could get in her." Cas looked away, feeling shameful.
"I've been," Cas paused to think, "spending some time in the impala at night." Dean's cheeks and ears turned bright red and his eyes opened wide in disbelief of what he just heard.
"Cas! Please, I do not need to know about your... well just stop, Okay?!" Cas stared at the hunter apologetically.
"I don't understand why you are so upset." Dean's face softened for a second then returned to its previous state.
"She's my baby! I can't have people doing weird things in her!" His face was still red.
"Sleeping is not weird!" Somehow Cas had begun to yell now too.
"What?" Dean asked, shocked, and their was silence between their gazes for a long time before Cas spoke.
"You," Cas swallowed, "told told me get my own room. But, well, I don't have any money and recently I've been... feeling the need to rest every now and then." Dean's face contorts into pure concern.
"Cas, man, I didn't know..." Was all he said before Sam returned and Dean cut himself off from Cas.
"Hey Dean, why don't you let Cas sit in the front seat for now?" Sam suggested to Dean before getting into the car.
"Uh, Yeah. Sure I guess." Dean was confused, but didn't really care who sat in the passenger seat anymore. Cas awkwardly got into the seat the human was. Dean turned to give him a big toothy grin as he started the engine, making Cas' stomach do unfamiliar feeling flips. Dean turned on the radio and started humming along after a while. Cas stayed quiet for the while ride until Dean spoke to him. "Hey Cas, you hungry?"
"No." Dean's face looked disappointed in his answer, which confused the angel. Of course he wasn't hungry, he's not human.
"Well I'm starving. Let's get burgers somewhere in this town." Sam rolled his eyes in the back seat."
"Alright." Cas said. They stopped at a diner an hour away from their destination, somewhere in Virginia.
"Dean, you really shouldn't be pushing your bad habits on him." Sam snapped when Dean ordered Cas a double bacon cheese burger.
"I am not. Cas likes them!" Dean defended. Sam scoffed and Cas just watched them have their little dispute in silence. But apparently the argument got too heated for Sam and he left to wait in the Impala. Cas happily ate the food in front of him, his stomach feeling oddly empty when it was placed there.
"Thank you Dean. This is very good."
"Aren't they?! You should let me make one for you some time."
"That sounds wonderful." They both smiled and stared at each other for awhile while eating. The Dean tried to break the silence.
"Cas listen..." But the waiter came over to give them the check and for some reason that meant leaving and not finishing his sentence.
They checked into their motel and decided that they would take the day off and hunt tomorrow. Well, Dean did. Sam left to do research around town. Cas was about to leave and do some of his own business but dean stopped him. "Cas, where are you going? Stay here."
"Alright Dean, what do you need?" He didn't feel like explaining himself so he settled on doing what Dean asked. Like he always did. He couldn't say no to him, really.
"I don't need anything, lets just watch a movie or something. We've got time to kill." Dean gave him another one of those smiles that felt so personal. Dean patted next to him on the bed, which Cas understood to mean "sit", which he uncomfortably did after a long pause. He shifted in his own skin, the proximity to Dean was making him react strangely. He could feel the blood in this veins pulsing through him. The human body is so strange, he thought, as he so often did. Though usually not in such a hands-on way. As the movie began, he found himself more aware of Dean next to him than ever, and he lost complete focus on anything other than him. He wouldn't have been able to tell you the name of the movie if you asked him. Dean's hand accidentally brushed against his thigh after he scratched at his lower back. For some reason that contact cause Cas to let out a quiet whimper, which Dean unfortunately did not miss. "You okay man?"
"Yes Dean." The rest of the day was uneventful until Sam got back in the evening. When Cas was busy and Dean thought he wasn't listening, Dean decided to bring up Cas' sleeping arrangements with Sam.
"The Dude's sleeping in my car Sammy! I don't know what to do. We've got ourselves a hobo with wings!" Cas couldn't hear what Sam was saying, because he was talking at a normal volume people use when they want to be discreet. "Could you, I don't know, get your own room this once, let Cas have a place to sleep until we figure something else out?" Dean asked, sounding a bit desperate even.
Cas panicked, he didn't know why, but he did. His clothes felt hot and heavy and his tie felt tight around his neck. He tried to fly away but his grace wouldn't let him. Was his power that limited now? Dean came back into the main room and made his way to Cas.
"Well Cas, guess you're stuck with me tonight."
"That's not necessary Dean."
"Well I can't have you sleeping in my car every night like some creepy homeless man. Sam's gonna get his own room and you get to sleep in a normal bed for once." Cas sighed as he saw no way out of this now, and smiled gratefully at Dean.
"Thank you," he said, sincerely.
Cas found himself drifting off to sleep around three in the morning, long after Dean. But he was woken by Dean shaking him and calling his name. "Cas! Damnit Cas, wake up. I think you're having a nightmare." Cas jolted up when he realized he not only woke Dean up, but he was standing before him now.
"I'm sorry Dean, I- I don't know what's happening." Dean sat on his own bed and stared at Cas in the dark.
"You having nightmares a lot then? Why didn't you say?" He looked concerned even in minimal light.
"I didn't want to put the burden on you." Cas spoke in a serious tone.
"Friendship doesn't work like that, let me help." Dean made a noise that was similar to a laugh, but wasn't quite one.
"I'm not sure there's anything that can be done, but thank you for the effort." Dean made a face that Cas could only barely see under the low light from the window and decided it was exasperation. Even his eye sight was getting to be terrible. Cas knew he was more trouble than he was worth. He couldn't even accept help properly. But it was time to wake up anyway, so they got ready and met up with Sam.
After a days worth of hunting, they decided to stay in town for another night, luckily they had that option this time. Cas fell asleep much earlier this time. Dean was watching television when he passed out without warning. The angel began to toss and turn in his sleep and Dean didn't know what to do so he did what he used to do when Sammy would have nightmares. He walked over to Cas and placed a warm hand on his forehead, which immediately calmed him down from the near convulsing Cas had been experiencing. He he sat back on his bed facing Cas and started singing softly to him, hoping to God Cas would not wake up. He soon calmed down all the way and Dean watched as his angel's face turned to completely peaceful. He didn't know why, and couldn't help what he did next. Getting up to lean over Cas, he placed his lips on Cas's forehead and smiled before getting some shut eye of his own.
When Cas woke up it was six am and he had gotten eight hours of sleep, which was more than he thought possible for himself. He was certainly not human though.
"You gonna sleep all day, sunshine?" Dean's voice made Cas smile and his heart insides flutter.
"I am in no way the light source from the sun. Despite what some people believe about angels, Dean." He understood what he meant, but Cas always had an interesting sense of humor. He would feel Dean's smile and roll of his eyes, despite being turned away from him.
"Come on." Dean urged Cas awake with a pat to his covered ankle. When he stood up, Dean stared at him him shock. "Woah. I didn't think it was possible for you to be more of a mess," he laughed. Cas looked at him in confusion. But what he didn't see was that his hair was sticking up at all ends, his tie was moved to his back, his trench coat somehow made it off his body and onto the floor, and his shirt was wrinkled and untucked. Dean stared for a little too long, making Cas actually feel discomfort, so he used a bit of grace to clean himself up.
Dean blinked, "Well that's one way of getting ready," and they headed out.
Their next job was a few states over, so Cas didn't want to ride in the car and told them he would meet them there. "Uh, no. You are staying with us, remember?" Dean seemed a little angry at him for whatever reason.
"What difference does it make?" Cas responded a little angrily himself. Cas could feel Sam watching as they had their disagreement.
"Because Cas..." he paused, searching for a good answer, which he obviously didn't have, "just because, damnit." Cas watched Dean walk away frustrated to Sam, about to say something but instead pouted against the impala, waiting for it to unlock like some patient human. I'm an angel Dean, I can do what I want and probably hurt you very badly if I chose to, Cas thought. Which somehow led to him thinking about pushing Dean against a wall or the impala roughly and... His thoughts stopped, he looked down at the strain in his dress pants. His vessel was acting up, he used his trench coat to hide it and got in the back seat of the impala.
Dean and Sam were arguing about something on the very, very boring car ride, when a song came on the apparently Dean liked. He turned it up, tuning the ever complaining Sam out, and sang along loudly. Cas liked to head Dean sing, even if sarcastically loud. He smiled slightly and closed his eyes to listen to Dean's voice. They made a few stops for gas, food, and other humanly needs but eventually made it. Somehow Cas ended up sharing a room with Dean again. He passed out shortly after laying down.
"Cas! Cas damnit Wake up!" Dean was shouting frantically at him, "Sam's gone. He's not answering his cell. We gotta go." Cas gets up and follows Dean out the door.
"Whatever this thing is, it must have known we were coming. Damnit." Dean said while driving. "Sam left some notes thought, so I'm pretty sure I know where this thing is hiding out. You ready?" Dean asked Cas without it really being a question. Cas nodded. Eventually they pulled up to an empty lot. Dean handed Cas a gun from the trunk. "Just in case," he said, then walked into the tall grass.
"What exactly are we looking for?" Cas asked, squinting his eyes at the morning sun.
"I don't know. It's underground so..." Dean was worried despite acting calm.
"Alright." Cas knew not to ask anymore questions. The still didn't know what they were up against. Cas stepped over hollow ground. He could feel and hear it. "Dean!" He called. Dean ran over to him quickly. They dug around the area for an opening, which didn't take too long at all. It was completely black, where ever they were. But Dean was next to him, his hand brushed against his a few times, making Cas feel an odd mixture of calm and dizziness, but he had to stay focused, Sam was most likely in danger. A light flickered in the distance now, and moving toward it they started hearing quite voices.
"Please don't be witches," Dean whispered to himself. Soon they were able to see Sam, chained up against the wall, blood dripping somewhere from him. But he was still conscious. They ran quietly to a wall in order to peak around the corner and get a better view. They were all demons. At least nine of them. Eight in a circle around one who was speaking to the rest.
"It's Forneus" Cas said to Dean as If it were the most obvious thing.
"What?!" Dean said shocked, probably mishearing Cas.
"Demons. Forneus is a high ranking one. He promises men fame then takes their bodies for demon possession. He's trying to build his army back up again, most likely. I don't know what he wants your brother for though."
"And you know this how?" Dean asked.
"I can see him." Again stating it as if it were obvious.
"Right. Of course you can. I should have known you knew the faces of every demon." Dean remarked sarcastically. "So can you smite those bitches or not?"
"I Honestly don't know. Maybe a few, but it will drain my grace for a while." Cas looked up at dean apologetically.
"Better than anything else we've got right now. Alright. I've got the knife and you've got your angel blade if your angel mojo goes sour. On the count of three." Dean counted to three on his fingers then they both jumped at the demons together. Cas was able to smite three demons with decreasing ease, and Dean killed three of his own. Then Dean made his way to help Sam down from his chains. Sam was staring to lose consciousness by the time Dean got to him, so Dean ended up slapping him a few times to keep him awake. Cas was trying to fight off the remaining demons, which included Forneus. But one of them got the upper hand and snapped Cas' arm out of his socket, making him fall to his knees. Dean got Sam down and ran to defend Cas just in time to stop the demon from killing him. Dean took the angel blade from Cas and threw it at Sam. Sam caught the blade and easily killed Forneus and the remaining two demons. Meanwhile, Dean as helping Cas to his feet, touching him all over, making sure he wasn't more damaged than was apparent.
"I'm fine, Dean," Cas reassured him, which didn't stop dean from holding him up, even though he could walk fine, and giving him a look that said both "bullshit" and "I've got you".
When they arrived back at the motel, Dean gave Sam what he needed to sew himself up and told him to lay down on his bed afterward because "you're not moving with that fucking gash," and told Cas that he was going to have to pop his shoulder back in place. "I don't know how your body is doing, but this might hurt so just be ready." Cas swallowed and prepared himself for the pain he knew he was going to feel. Dean held on to his dislocated arm and told him he would give him a warning before he did it. He lied. His arm made a popping noise, and pain surged through him, causing him to whimper, but his arm relaxed and felt much better after. Dean didn't let him go after that though. He kept his hand on his shoulder and wouldn't stop staring at Cas.
"Dean. I'm fine."
"Are you, Cas? Because you just got wounded by little demon and can't heal yourself." Dean sounded angry, even though it was obvious he was concerned for his friend.
"Really? I hadn't noticed." Cas replied sarcastically. Dean sighed.
"You need to be more careful." Then he finally moved away from Cas and sat on the chair in the corner. Sam was already passed out and Dean told Cas to get some rest.
"What about you?" Cas asked.
"I'm fine. Just go to sleep."
"Are you going to just sit there and watch me sleep, because I recall that being creepy." Cas smirked a little.
"Sleep." Dean was having none of the Cas-pointing-out-Dean-being-a-hypocrite bullshit.
A few hours later, Sam woke up to the sound of whispers, or rather Dean singing quietly.
"Dean?" Sam asked in shock as he realized he was singing to Cas. He though maybe he was dreaming, but Dean grew silent so damn fast and turned around in horror to Sam.
"Uh. Go back to sleep Sammy."
"What the Hell are you doing Dean?" Sam asked, unable to hide the smile through his words.
"Nothing. You're uh, dreaming." Dean lied poorly.
"No I'm not." Sam sat up quickly, "so what is this?"
Dean got up and sat back down in his chair. "Forget it Sam. Just go back to sleep." Dean sounded pretty irritated and embarrassed, so Sam sighed and rolled back down to his bed.
The next morning, Dean packed his things in silence then woke Sam up. Sam knew not to bring up last night but damn he was curious as to why his brother was singing to Cas. He silently chuckled to himself about it.
"Should we wake Cas up?" Sam asked after a while.
"Yeah, in a bit. Let him sleep for now. He doesn't exactly need a long time to get ready, unlike some people with model hair." Dean glared jokingly at his brother.
"Dean?" Cas said quietly in a rough, sleepy voice.
"Morning Sleepy head," Dean chuckled but then he heard light snoring coming from the angel.
"Dean..." His voice was more breathy and desperate now, and Dean blushed as he watched Cas make obscene noises. But then Dean could hear Sam about to get out of the bathroom so he quickly shook Cas awake.
"Time to wake up." Cas' blue eyes snapped open in shock.
"Morning Dean." The stared at each other until Sam walked into the room. Cas just laid in his bed though.
"You getting up, Cas?" Dean asked after awhile.
"Yes, Just give me a moment." Cas' words were awkward and slow to come from his mouth, pausing after each word. He was blushing brightly for some reason, and then Dean realized he was basically just moaning his name so he was probably dreaming about... He tried to stop his thoughts but the wouldn't leave him alone, which ended up giving him the same problem as Cas.
"My turn in the bathroom," Dean said and quickly ran into it. After waiting for the shower to heat up enough to comfortably get in, he put his head against the front wall of the shower allowing the water to rush down his back. He was hard and tried to ignore it because of what caused it, but he ended up masturbating anyway.
Cas on the other hand waited until his body calmed down so he was able to get up. Being human must be very troublesome, he thought to himself. Eventually they all made it to the Impala and headed for home base. Cas was excited because he had only been there twice, and it was brief both times.
"Hey Cas, we can probably set you up with your own room now." Dean said happily.
"I would like that, Dean." Cas replied with a smile on his lips. He silently hoped it would be near Dean's room. You know, so he could watch over him closely.
They arrived at "The Batcave" as Dean called it, around noon. Dean insisted on making lunch for everyone. He made some kind of sandwich with excessive meat and coffee. Though he gave sam a sandwich with less meat and gave Cas a mug of something that required a bag.
"Green tea. I hate the stuff but you'll probably love it and there's plenty of it." He chuckled and they all ate their lunch. Dean declared burgers for dinner. Afterward, Dean showed Cas to his room, which was across the hall from his own. Sam's was down the hall a little ways, but he decided to do some research in the library downstairs. "So Cas, here's your home sweet home. What do you think?" Cas turned to face Dean.
"It's perfect, Dean. Thank you." They stared at each other or a while. It was a warm stare and probably equivalent to most peoples hugs.
"You can do whatever you want with it." Dean Assured him, "so if you need to pop in and out to get stuff, it's fine. Just make sure you come back, okay?"
"Of course," Cas said and closed the door. The room was set up pretty similar to Dean's. A bed in the middle and a nightstand next to it, a few empty shelves and a clock on the wall. He liked it the way it was and couldn't think of what to change or add. He grew bored pretty quickly and ended taking a few books to his room. He sat on his bed going through them, mostly checking that the information in them was accurate.
At about 5:30, Dean knocked on his door.
"Hey Cas, can I come in?" Cas heard his voice muffled by the door.
"Yes." The door opened slowly and Dean peaked his head about it awkwardly before stepping in.
"You didn't do anything with your room." He sounded disappointed.
"Well I don't have anything to put in it, besides I like it just how it is." Cas gave Dean a little smile.
"Oh. Maybe we should get you some clothes."
"I have clothes."
"You have the same damn thing you always wear. Which is fine," Dean quickly corrected himself, "but you know. Maybe something else?"
"If you insist." Dean stared at Cas for a while, "What did you want, Dean?" Cas sighed.
"Oh. Right. I was going to make food soon. Wondering if you wanted to keep me some company while I cooked." Cas nodded happily.
"So, What's out next job?" Cas asked Dean as he made burgers.
"Not sure. There might be a case down in Utah, but Garth said he's got people closer."
"I could look for one for us." Cas said hopefully, earning him a chuckle from Dean.
"Yeah, sure." He smiled at Cas and returned to cooking. The air was soon filled with the smell of hamburger meat and cheese and Cas could feel his mouth water and his stomach growl. Apparently Dean could hear it too.
"Haha, getting hungry?" Dean asked while assembling the first burger.
"I'm an angel Dean. I don't get hungry." Cas said a little bitterly, because the truth was, he was hungry, and that scared him. He looked away from Dean and waited for the burger. Sam joined them and sat down next to Cas.
"Alright Cas, hope you like it." Dean set a plate with a perfect looking burger on it in front of him, and one similar in front of Sam. Dean watched as Cas took his first bite, trying to analyze how Cas left about it from his face. Which was very distracting. But the burger was perfect; juicy and cheesy and everything a burger ought to be. Cas made a humming noise into his food, which made Dean smile wide and clap his hands together once, spin around to get his own burger and sit next to Cas. "Oh! Almost forgot." Dean said after his second bite. He got up and grabbed three beers out of the fridge. They all are in silence for a while before they started joking around with each other.
After they all cleaned up, Dean and Cas walked back to their rooms together. "Hey, we've modernized the electrical in here. You could put a TV in your room if you wanted." Cas was happier than he expected at hearing that. He left right away to get a television. He picked out an old one like the ones that were always in their motel rooms. When he came back with it, Dean came through his still opened door. "You really want that one? You know there are much better TVs out there."
"Yes. This one is good." Cas smiled at Dean, who then sighed.
"Well alright, but don't come knocking at my door when you want to watch your favorite shows on a proper sized screen." apparently Dean had recently acquired a flat-screen TV and was fairly proud of it, though he got it through illegal methods like everything else. Cas wasn't judging him for that, he just didn't understand what there was to be proud about.
Cas smiled at Dean and then looked down at the ground. "What?" Dean asked, confused as to why he was smiling.
"Nothing, just, you want me to watch with you."
"Yeah? How do you figure that?" Dean asked, taken aback.
"I know you Dean. More than I expect you think."
"Well, yeah, okay, maybe it would be fun to watch a movie or something sometime. You know, get you caught up on pop culture." Cas nodded seriously at Dean now, holding back the smile trying to make its way through. Cas stared at Dean as he spoke, and realized that the shade of the hunters skin was becoming a very interesting shade of pink.
"Something sometime. Yes Dean. Sounds good," he copied the words from Dean's mouth then shut the door when Dean started to nervously backtrack to his room. Cas didn't feel like watching TV now though, so he continued to read through books as he has before. He accidentally moved his arm in a certain way and he ended up cringing. It was still sore from the fight yesterday, which for some reason made Cas ashamed. Couldn't even heal properly. Cas went downstairs the slow way to grab a beer, but then remembered the green tea from lunch and decided to make some. While waiting for the water to boil, Sam walked into the kitchen.
"Hey Cas, my brother givin' you a hard time?" He smiled at Cas a little apologetically.
"No. I think it might be the other way around." Cas says, now dipping the tea bag in the hot water. Sam laughs at that and it feels good to hear him laugh. Cas rarely hears either of them laugh and considers it an accomplishment if he manages to make them do so. Though, Cas doesn't laugh much himself, so perhaps he should work on that. Cas finds himself drifting off while he watches the tea steep and change the water to a yellow-green in swirls. The he realizes Sam was talking to him, "what?" Cas asked.
"I'm glad you are drinking alternative things. Beer isn't the best thing to be drinking all the time."
"Oh." Cas was still pretty spaced but Sam kept talking.
"You shouldn't eat so much meat either Cas. It's not good for your health. You know..."
"I am an angel Sam. I think you guys are forgetting that. I don't have to eat anything If I don't want to." Cas might have snapped at Sam, but damnit, he was not human.
"Right right. I'm sorry." He held up his hands and took a step back. "All I'm saying is... you don't have to like all the things dean likes. You can be your own person." Cas listened to those words carefully. They somehow managed to hurt him and free him at the same time.
"I like the things Dean enjoys." He defended himself, sincerely.
"Right. I'm sure you do. All I'm trying to say is, don't be pressured to like something just because he does, okay?"
"Why would I do that?" Cas asked, looking confused despite the face he knew what Sam was talking about. He had pretended to enjoy a few songs that Dean had proclaimed to be "the best". But Dean also told him that people lie, so he really was confused about what was right.
"Because, people tend to do that when they want to impress someone they admire or like." Sam put emphasis on the word, "you should just be happy Cas, Dean is already impressed with you and likes you for who you are." Cas just sort of stood their with a mug of tea in his hand staring at Sam confused.
"Uh, okay. Thank you Sam." He looked awkwardly around then shuffled off to his room.
Cas finished his tea while reading and turned off the light. He used to desk lamp to continue his readings in the dark. His eye sight was getting worse each day, It took effort to see through things now and he didn't even bother trying to see in the dark when there were lights to do the work for him. This was some very fascinating stuff he already knew about. Eventually he ended up passing out on tip of the book and evidently drooled on the paper because when he woke up, his face was damp and Dean was standing above him with his hand on his shoulder.
"Cas you, uh, were having a nightmare. I could hear you from my room." He said concerned. Cas was just able to make out his facial features in the dark.
"My apologies. I didn't mean to wake you-"
"You didn't." Dean interrupted, "I was already awake. Couldn't sleep." Dean smiled and his hand, still lingering on Cas, jolted away as if he had just realized it was still there.
"Oh," Cas said, staring up at Dean. "My nightmares had stopped for a few days. I was hoping it was for good." Cas looked down. Dean knew his nightmares hadn't really stopped though, Dean was just able to calm him down in time.
"So, what exactly does an angel have nightmares about anyway?" Dean asked while sitting down on the foot of Cas' bed.
"Nothing. I mean, it's not important. They're just dreams after all." Cas lied to himself. There was nothing about these nightmares that didn't matter.
"Come on Cas. It's just us. You can tell me." Dean smiled reassuringly and somehow managed to get slightly closer to Cas.
"Various things" Cas sighed, "mostly me falling and not being able to heal you." Cas zoned out and began to ramble on about his nightmare, "you are there in my arms, each breath closer to your last and I can't do anything to save you this time. I just scream until my throat is sore and my eyes are red..." Cas is broken out of his trance by a warm feeling around him. Dean is hugging him. Shocked at first, Cas doesnt know what to do, but then he grabs onto dean's waist and hugs him back tightly.
"Don't worry so much Cas." He chuckles a little and starts to pull away. Cas tightens his grip on Dean when he feels him do so, last time he was hugged he couldn't allow himself to hug back, but now he didn't want it to end. He let go anyway. "Cas..." Dean started, "lay down."
"Why?" Cas asked shocked and confused.
"Just do it damnit, before I change my mind. Lay on your side away from me." Cas scooted suspiciously to his side with his back facing Dean. "Just, please, don't tell Sammy about this." Dean laid down on his side next to Cas and wrapped an arm around the angel's body. Cas closed his eyes as Dean his body against his, the heat from him feels so amazing and even though this is similar to a hug, the nature of tt seems much more intimate.
"This is nice Dean." Cas says seriously in a low voice.
"Cas, just shut up and go to sleep." He says a little pleadingly. Cas lets himself fall asleep, and he does so quite easily under the man's warmth. He fell asleep smiling tonight, and so did Dean.
Waking up was a different matter though. Cas felt the cold air around him a few hours later. Dawn was just arriving and Dean had already left him. Cas found himself more emotionally affected by this than he ought to have been. Perhaps he was in the bathroom, Cas was glad he had yet to be inconvenienced with the need to use the toilet. Or perhaps he wanted to sneak away so that Sam would not suspect... Cas wondered what he would be suspecting. Was what they did wrong? It only felt wonderful and it helped him to sleep. But humans have such odd rules. Cas got out of bed and shuffle his feet lazily downstairs. While walking he started to smell bacon, eggs and other various warm foods.
"Dean?" Cas asked once he saw him cooking away.
"Oh, you're away. Cas you go get Sam? It's already six. We've got a job!" Cas smiled and went back upstairs to fetch the moose.
"Sam. Wake up. We have a job." After a few seconds, Cas could hear through the other side of the door the large man moving sluggishly out of bed.
"Cas?" The door opened, "hey, be right down." the door shut.
"Eat up Cas!" Dean dished out food onto Cas' plate.
"Thank you Dean." Cas smiled at his friend. Dean was his friend, yet the word felt off in his mind. Dean was more than that. Sam was a friend. Dean was something else. Sam came downstairs in blue and green plaid and sat next to Cas.
"Wow. Breakfast too Dean? You sure are turning out to be quite the domestic." Sam laughed teasingly.
"Yeah, well you just wait until you taste it!" Dean defended his cooking spree. "Anyway, we've got ourselves a job today. Vampires. Should be nice and simple," Dean said, which he really, really shouldn't have.
After Breakfast, the team got ready for a standard vampire hunt. They estimated that from the location, they were probably talking around five vamps, tops.
"So where is this place Dean?" Sam asked as they got in the car.
"Carson, North Dakota." Dean said.
"Aw, Dean. That's twelve hours away."
"Which is why we need to move now. Besides, I bet I can swing it in ten." Dean got into the driver's seat and waited for Sam and Cas to get in. Cas loathed these long car rides because he could be there in a blink of an eye. But at the same time, he cherished them. During these car rides, the world always seemed calm. What was beyond the impala's doors didn't matter when the engine was roaring and one of Dean's favorite songs was blasted over the radio. So maybe that's why Dean always insisted on driving.
"Hey Cas, You alright back there?" Dean shouted over the music once Cas had decided to rest his head against the window and stare out it without movement for ten minutes.
"Yes Dean." Cas replied.
"I'm starving. Do you think you could pop out of here and get us something to eat?" Dean asked.
"I shouldn't waste my remaining grace on something that isn't necessary, when I could need it in the upcoming hunt." Cas stated firmly.
"Oh. Yeah, I guess you're right. Well then that settles it. Sorry Sam, but I'm taking a detour." Dean got off at the next exit and went to the first place he found. "Thank God for drive through." Dean was overly enthusiastic for some unknown reason lately. After that it was straight to the vampire nest.
Dean parked the Impala a block away from the nest. It was already dark buy the time they got there, so Dean had to dig out the flashlights. Cas waited behind him patiently and Sam scoped the area out.
"Alright. This time I'm making sure you have all the stuff you need." Dean turned around to face Cas with his hands full. "Dead-man's blood, don't drop them." He handed him three syringes, "take my gun." Dean handed him the small silver and white gun. "Will your angel blade kill vampires?" Dean asked.
"Yes." Cas said without looking up at Dean, but instead faced the building. Sam returned shortly after that.
"Alright. I only saw three, so you think we should split up and each take one?" Sam asked while grabbing weapons from the trunk.
"I don't think that's a very good idea Sam." Cas could feel something off about this hunt from the moment the pulled up.
"Relax Cas, the place isn't that big. If anything happens, we'll hear." Dean tried to reassure him. Though that was not Cas' issue with the situation at all. He glared at Dean.
"I'm not being petty about this, Dean. Something feels off," Cas voice rumbled, stepping into Dean's personal space as usual, resulting in Dean staring down at each part of his face while forgetting to breathe.
"Okay, well, do you have a better plan? You wanna mojo your way in there and scope it out for us?" Dean said a little angrily now because he knows Cas can't, or if he can he doesn't want to. He shouldn't be angry, its not Cas' fault. Cas looked down closing his eyes and sighed.
"I'm sorry. I guess there isn't." Cas finally says. Dean gave Cas an empathetic look, but he doesn't see it.
"Alright. I'm going first. Wait for the signal then head around back." Sam said to them as he tucked his last gun under his coat. They wait in silence for a few minutes before Sam lets them know its time to move. Cas started to walk forward before Dean grabbed him by his sleeve.
"Cas wait." But then there was silence and Cas just nodded a little before walking off. Once they all arrived at the entrance they were taking, they split up to take different parts of the building.
The building was dark and damp, if someone human were to live in a place like this, they would develop life threatening diseases for sure. But vampires, though they would prefer to live in a nice luxurious home, are able to live in places like this without such complications. Nests like this always smell terrible. The blood could be smelled before Castiel even enters the building, and his senses are deteriorating.
Somehow, after Cas managed to kill a vampire the hard way, they get themselves in a bit of a mess and Cas can hear inside his head Dean calling for help. Cas teleports to Sam, who is cleaning wiping blood from his face, and grabs him quickly by the shoulder to teleports the both of them to Dean. Except it isn't just Dean. Somehow there are ten vampires down here. Sam looks in horror for the few seconds he can spare. He fucked up, he knows now. After so long of being a 'great hunter', how could he have missed this? But there's no time to think, Sam and Castiel fight their way through to Dean. Dean who is chained upside down, blood dripping down into metal buckets with a sound that echoed with such tribulation, but they stay focused on the hunt. Cas smites anything that touches him, and between the two of them, they take down every vampire in under five minutes. Except Cas was glowing now, his eyes were emitting a blue light and even his skin seemed to radiate. It lasted for just a second before the angel seemed to turn even darker than before, and he collapsed with a loud thud.
Sam had to take care of Dean first, helping him down, though he had been unconscious for some time now.
"Dean!" He tried to yell for him to wake up, even while knowing it was no use.
When Cas woke up, his head was pounding and the curtains were drawn to a close but he could see sunlight pouring in. It was midday. He couldn't remember what happened, but he could remember how Dean looked the last time he saw him, so he jolted out of bed and across the hall to find Dean in his room, laying on his bed unconscious with Sam at his side.
"Cas!" Sam looked up with relief in his voice.
"How is he?" Cas asked.
"He hasn't woken up at all. He lost a lot of blood. I'd take him to the hospital but... the medical supplied here are pretty good so, at this point, I don't think they'd be able to help any more than I can."
"I understand." Cas said, and it was simple. He looked at Sam and nodded just barely, then moved to the other side of the bed with his eyes focused on Dean. He bent over to brush his fingers against Dean's forehead, then settled the whole of his hand on the side of his face. He rubbed his thumb into the skin it was sitting on and closed his eyes. There was a small light, that started from Cas's chest and moved to his shoulder, down his arm and into Dean's head. The light dispersed throughout his body and then disappeared completely, leaving Dean unscratched. Cas left his hand on the side of his face until the two green eyes opened. Dean's own hand came up to meet the angels and he hummed grateful with his eyes shut and a small smile on his face.
Sam was watching them with a grin on his own face.
"Well I'm gonna give you two lovebirds some alone time," He says, and Cas doesn't know if he is joking or not and frankly he doesn't care because he's falling over and onto the floor again.
It hurts. He hits his head and his hip hard on the floor and it leaves dents in the wood. He apologizes for it later. He doesn't remember passing out, so maybe he didn't, but now all he sees is Dean and all he feels is Dean and now he hears him saying his name too.
"Cas!" It's urgent but comforting and seems to vibrate his body. Dean's hand is on the back of his head holding him up. And then he sees the biggest grin on Dean's face and his heart clenches and his hands start to sweat.
"Dean I-" Cas doesn't want to say it. Doesn't want to be a burden to him. But he has to. "That was the last of my grace, Dean. I'm sorry." And Dean doesn't say anything, his grin softens into a smile that's barely a smile and his eyebrows turn up, and he looks sad but not because Castiel won't be able to heal them or transport them or smite monsters with them, but because Cas is crying. There are only a few tears, but they fall off to the sides of his face on land somewhere Cas can't see. He tries to stop but can't and he didn't realize until now but he held a tight grip on Dean's arm, he didn't let go. Dean raked his free hand through Cas's hair, then moves both hands so they cup his face.
"You are such an idiot, Cas." He says, and his voice chokes a little, but he's still smiling and manages to hold back tears that are desperate to escape.
"Yes, I suppose I am," Cas tries for a smile, but doesn't know if he managed it. And then Dean does something he's never done before. He places his lips on Cas's forehead roughly and quickly, only to places them back on the bridge of his nose, and then the corner of his eye, and then he pauses to look back at Cas, who looks dazed and confused. But Cas reaches around to grab behind Dean's head and push their faces together one more time. This time, their lips meet. It's quick but manages to start out rough and settle into a gentle kiss before they pull away, both red in the face.
Sam's outside the door, with his back against the wall smiling like the jerk he is. He accidentally lets out a small chuckle and Dean stiffens, then rolls his eyes in annoyance.
"Really Sammy, you gotta get your kicks by spying on us?" He sounds annoyed, but definitely not angry. Cas squirms in Dean's arms.
"I think I can get up." he says calmly. Dean still helps him to his feet though, and leads him to his bed. Dean closes his bedroom door firmly while shouting at Sam.
"Go away, Sam!" And Sam rolls his eyes and grins before walking down the hall back to his room.
Dean glances over at Cas, who had already managed to pass out, and sighs. He looked so broken now, with his hair damp from sweat it clung to his forehead, and he was stripped down to only his white shirt, even the tie was gone. Dean stared at him for a while, making sure he was breathing properly, and he wasn't too hot or too cold. Dean brought his fingers to his lips, remembering that him and Cas had actually just kissed a few minutes ago. It all felt like a dream or at least someone else's life that wasn't his. Cas was still his friend, he was still his family, right? He thought about how in Star Trek, Kirk and Spock were called T'hy'la, and how that meant friend, brother, and lover. So maybe it wasn't so ridiculous when he glanced over at Cas, who was making soft snoring noises, and he wanted to kiss every inch of that now ex-angel.
Cas was falling from the sky, his wings were ripped down to the stubs and blood was dripping upwards as wind whirred past his face. He tried to scream as loud as he could, but no sound would come out, his throat now feeling burned up from the inside. He reached for it, but there was only a hole in his skin where his neck should be. It seemed like hours, and the sky was becoming thick and dark and he would fall into floating objects that made his body ache and swell with dark bruises, eventually covering his whole body. There was no ground, no hope of it ending, just the endless fall. His eyes started to form tears, so Cas closed his eyes to stop them from flying off. With his eyes shut, the world around him was white and the wind felt softer too, comforting and warm. Each time he ran into an object now, he felt a sense of pleasure and it made him long for more to fall into. And he did, little points of pressure around his body filling him with happiness and humanity until his whole body was surrounded in them and he could feel the soft pressure and heat of a human body. He opened his eyes lazily to find himself in Dean's bedroom. Dean's arm hung tightly around his body, pulling him close. Cas smiled, finding himself completely at peace. It must have been early in the morning, because a pale red light was trying to make it's way through the egress window.
"Dean?" Cas tried softly, his voice rough from sleep.
"Cas..." Dean said, muffled into his back nearly incoherently.
"I was having another nightmare."
"I know. You started screaming for me."
"Oh, I-" Cas felt his body heat up, "I'm sorry I stole your bed from you." He settled on avoiding discussing the nightmare.
"It doesn't have to be my bed."
"What do you mean?" Cas was completely baffled.
"I mean..." Dean moved away from Cas, making Cas groan at the loss of comfort, then moved Cas onto his back and hovered his body above his. It was still dark, but Dean could see Cas blush. "It can be our bed- if you want." And maybe Dean was blushing too, after all, this was pretty cheesy, and the old Dean probably would have slapped him for being such a chick. But this was Cas. So before the man under him could reply, Dean kissed him. Cas moaned softly into the kiss after Dean deepened it, pushing their mouths open and letting their tongues slide together. Then he broke the kiss and moved his lips to Cas's neck. He bit softly at the sensitive skin, making Cas breathe in sharply. Dean pushed his hips against Cas's, making him arch up a little.
"Cas," Dean said when he felt Cas start to tremble under him. "This is okay, right?" Cas's eyes were shut and his mouth was open, and breathing quickly.
"Yes Dean." He responded in a broken voice. "This is a bit different than I had imagined."
"What do you mean?" Dean grew worried.
"The human body is much more sensitive to touch... I knew it was pleasurable, why else would you do it... but I never imagined. Even while I was human briefly before, I never had the time to experience-" Dean cut him off with a quick kiss and a large grin.
"You haven't even felt the best part yet," And Dean works off Cas's pants quickly. More excited than he would have ever thought he would be taking off a dude's pants. He could feel Cas's eyes on him, and it made him feel both nervous and pleased. Dean looked back up at Cas, "Okay, I've never done this before, but I know what I like, so just watch me. Okay?" Dean tried to play it cool but it's obvious to even Cas that he is pretty scared.
"Okay Dean," Cas says and brushes his hand through Dean's hair, and somehow it manages to calm him down considerably. He slowly removes his underwear to reveal Cas's erection. It bobbed back and forth a little before Dean takes it in his hand and slides his thumb over the head. It earns him a loud, desperate moan from Cas. Dean's already fully hard just from hearing that obscene noise from him, but it's Cas's turn. He pumps up and down slowly a few times as Cas adjusts to the sensation, then stops and hesitates just a moment before licking up the shaft, making Cas squirm and moan again. Dean smiles up at him, Cas looks so hot like this and Dean is anxious to make Cas cum now. He takes the head in his mouth and rolls his tongue around it slowly. Cas breaths out a low moan and arches his back up. The Dean takes all of him in his mouth and moves up and down slowly. Cas is gasping and moaning and under his breath he starts to say "Dean" over and over again. Dean only has to do it a few more times before Cas is yelling out Dean's name and cumming into his mouth. Cas's head goes fuzzy and bright when it happens and he hasn't felt anything quite as amazing since he met Dean.