A/N: Hello! So last time I posted a story like this it seemed like some people enjoyed it so I thought 'Hey, why not do another one?' and so here it is! :D But I would like to point out that I based this heavily off of one of my favourite episodes of the TV series Not Going Out, gotta love that show :')
Disclaimer: I got the idea for this story after watching Not Going Out series 3 Episode 2 and this story is based heavily on that episode. I do not own Pitch Perfect or Not Going Out.
It was a Thursday morning, Beca had finally convinced Aubrey to give her a ride to the post office rather than let Barbra take her instead. Barbra was the new British house maid that Aubrey had insisted on getting, stating that ever since Chloe started to date Beca, the apartment always got messier than usual. Barbra was a little odd, Beca wasn't sure if she was innocent or secretly a serial killer in hiding.
Anyway, so she and Aubrey were driving down to the post office.
"Hurry up the post office closes in five minutes," complained Beca, glancing at the clock nervously.
"I'm already doing 32 in a 30 mile per hour zone," replied Aubrey, keeping her eyes glued to the road.
"I wondered why my face was all distorted," scoffed Beca, "must be the G-Force."
"I think you'll find it's the inbreeding," stated Aubrey, glancing at the envelope in the shorter girl's grip curiously, "what are you posting that's so important anyway?"
"I'm entering, an essay writing competition."
Now it was Aubrey's turn to scoff, "You? Have written an essay? About what?"
"Me and my big gnarly head by John Merrick!" she replied, shaking her head from side to side, "if you must know, it's called 'My Vision for a Better World.'"
Aubrey turned her head and stared at her mockingly,
"You don't have a vision! You barley notice things that are right in front of you!"
As she said this, Aubrey failed to see that the light had changed from yellow to red and carried on driving.
A crash was heard across the street.
Beca walked through the door of Chloe and Aubrey's apartment holding a shoe box sized box in her hands, grinning madly at Chloe who had looked up from her computer with a raised eyebrow.
"Have you had a wash this morning Chloe?" she asked, setting the box down on one of the shelves.
"Interesting opening gambit," she replied, closing her laptop and turning to face the brunette, "still better than yesterday's lyrical Northern pros."
"Hey, the words, sweat, much, fat and lass, have all been used by Dickens," She replied, ignoring Chloe's disapproving look whilst she pulled out some black framed glasses and put them on, "just not necessarily, in the right order!" she finished by slapping the glasses and taking them off, shoving them back into her pocket, "well?" she asked.
"Yes I've had a wash," Chloe replied with a giggle at her girlfriend's dramatics.
"Well that's a shame, because you could have bathed in my success." Beca replied, raising her hands above her head, "I've won a $1000!"
Chloe looked at her sceptically.
"When you say won, I presume you mean stolen? It's a Northern thing right?"
Beca tisked her girlfriend as she stood proudly in front of her.
"I entered an essay writing competition from one of your magazines. I wrote about the 'Inner qualities that the less able bodied suffer, due to the attitudes of the able bodied within the modern work place."
She turned back to the shelf and started to open the top of it, Chloe walking behind her disbelievingly.
"What do you know about essay writing?" She asked, crossing her arms.
"Enough, I took inspiration from some of my favourite writers."
"Writers? Katy Price only counts as one you know."
Beca turned around with a small smile, looking towards the ceiling inspirationally.
"You can laugh, but they mocked Shakespeare when he wrote his first play."
"Did they?" Chloe asked.
"'Cuz he's rubbish."
Chloe rolled her eyes at Beca, watching as she carried on trying to open the box.
"Anyway, I won fair and square. And I've just spent some of my winnings on an investment, see if you can guess what it is." She said excitedly, turning to face Chloe and opening the box.
After a moment of thinking Chloe shook her head with a smile, "No idea."
"The complete set of five 1982 World Cup mugs!" she answered, holding out one of them which had a picture of some old English football player on it.
"No I was going to say that but I thought no, it was too obvious." Chloe said, heavy sarcasm leaking through her tone.
"These are very rare you know. In 1982 you couldn't just go out and buy these things, well you could but you would have to buy five boxes of PG tips as well."
"Well I'm surprised PG tips didn't give you loads of free ones when you carried that piano up the stairs."
Beca turned her head to give Chloe a wide fake smile before turning to place the mugs up onto the shelves.
"What are you doing?" asked Chloe, confusion evident in her question.
"Putting them on display," Beca replied, as though it were the most obvious answer.
"What we're not even using them?" Chloe asked, her face scrunching up.
Beca turned around in disbelief, her eyes narrowing.
"Using them? That would be like using the Holy Grail for… grayling." She looked slightly confused at her self for a moment before turning to put more of the mugs up.
"Well go one then, let's see this essay." Chloe said with a smile.
"No, you'll laugh."
"Oh come on, did I laugh when you did your stand up?"
Beca turned to look at her, "No."
"Your shy aren't you?" she asked, smiling adorably at the shorter girl.
"No I'm not."
"Shyness isn't a weakness you know; in fact some women find it quite attractive. Has no one ever told you that?"
Beca looked up into her eyes before darting her own to the floor, "I can't answer that…"
Chloe laughed as Beca put the box down and turned around, smiling at her.
"Actually I was, thinking about celebrating my big win by going out for a meal. Wondered if you wanted to come along and we could… make it a date? I mean I would take Jesse but you know, champagne gets up his nose and he starts singing 'It's Raining Men'."
"Well I will see if I can, I've got a lot of class work I've got to do for a few days but, when that's all out of the way, sure." Beca smiled and wrapped her arms around the taller girl, placing a kiss on her lips.
"Great, I owe you a thank you anyway." She said, stepping back to admire her mugs.
"'Cuz you let me use your laptop to write the essay up."
"Sorry about the orange marks around some of the keys, not all the bolognaise came off when I ran it under the taps."
Chloe gasped and ran to her laptop, lifting the screen to check all the keys.
Beca sat in a pub with Aubrey, something that had become more normal now she was dating her room mate and best friend.
"I can't believe I'm going to loose my No Claims bonus. The only accident I've ever had was when a bird messed on my bonnet. And that was only the once when I was forced to park under a tree and I'd forgotten my car sheath." Aubrey complained, staring at the bar and nursing a pint of beer in her hands. Beca nodded from her stool next to her.
"Well, look on the bright side; at least you've won $1000. Oh no, sorry, that's me isn't it?" she finished, smugly drinking from her own pint.
"I a minute I'm going to end up with a broken nose, oh no, sorry-"
"Yeah I got it." Beca cut her off, ignoring the withered glare she received.
"Let's hear it then,"
"What?" Beca asked.
"The essay you've claimed to have written about disability in the work place." Beca looked slightly panicked.
"I can't remember it all can I? It was twenty pages long."
"Well you must remember some of it, how'd it start?"
Beca looked off into the distance for a moment before speaking.
"I have a dream…"
"Carry on Martin Luther."
"… and in that dream, everyone is welcome, in my, house. It doesn't matter who you are, what you are, or indeed, how you are. How are you? Are you well? You're not? Care not weary traveller, please, come in, there's a ramp. All are welcome, unless you're a… Nazi, or a murderer, or a… nonce. Please, enter, take the weight off your… wheels, for I, have a dream." She finished with a slight head nod; Aubrey glanced at her with a disapproving frown.
"Who really wrote this essay?"
"I downloaded it from the internet," Beca answered, taking a gulp of beer.
"Typical, what if the organisers find out?"
"They won't find out, how could I have possibly lifted an entire essay from the internet, if I was blind."
Aubrey stared at her in disbelief, "What do you mean blind?"
"The competition was only open to disabled people. You had to tick a box at the end, I ticked blind," she looked at Aubrey who was now openly showing her disgust, "I covered my eyes when I was doing it." she defended herself.
"You need to take a long hard look at yourself!"
"That's not going to be easy." Aubrey shook her head and looked down into her beer, "a white lie never hurt anyone. What about your insurance form? You could say you weren't to blame, that way you won't loose your No Claims bonus."
"No, I can't lie."
"Who says it's a lie? From the way your, independent witness," Beca pointed to herself, "remembers things, I have a photographic memory."
Aubrey nodded in consideration, "Is that right?"
"I remember it clearly; I was out shopping on Wednesday-"
"Thursday, the… 4th-"
"28th of Oc-tember, when suddenly I saw a BMW series f-"
"Silver… small silver Renault… Clio-"
"Driving! Safely and with due care, through the traffic lights on Argyle-"
"Street! See? It's water proof."
Beca was back at Chloe and Aubrey's apartment, using the football mugs to re-create the World Cup in 1982.
"Shilton, long throw to Wilkins, Wilkins to Francis, it's a long ball up front! He's through a goal! Surely-!"
"Great tackle by Princess Diana!" Fat Amy shouted, banging her mug against Beca's.
"Aubrey, can you tell your girlfriend never to touch these ever again. Especially with her crappy mugs." She turned to Amy who looked slightly insulted.
"It's the people's princess." She pointed to her mug.
"I don't care, this is our Lord Kevin of Keegan, the people's… perm."
"What should I write on this Insurance form?" asked Aubrey, interrupting the soon to be argument.
"Just say the traffic light was on amber, not red." Beca replied.
Aubrey hummed in doubt, "What if it's on CCTV?"
"Why would it be on Kid's television?" asked Amy, crinkling her nose in confusion.
"There were no cameras, just write it." Beca said, polishing her mug lovingly.
"Who's your insurer? Oh, oh it's not the one with that dog is it? You know, the one that looks like Winston Churchill is it? What are they called?" she asked Beca who was staring at her with a dull look.
"Winston's?" she asked sarcastically.
"Yeah, that's it! Do you recon in Germany they've got an insurance company called Adolf's?" Beca looked at her in bored exasperation.
"I doubt it; it's not easy selling something when you're opening line is, 'Hey Hitler, could you save us money on our car insurance?'"
Amy nodded with a dreamy smile and sipped at her coffee, Beca looking back to Aubrey.
"Are you going to write amber?"
"Well actually now I'm thinking about it, maybe my 'Independent Witness' saw a green light," Beca raised her eyebrows thoughtfully, "with amber there's still room for doubt, but if I put green, my reputation would be completely untarnished."
"Now you're getting it." Beca winked.
"Actually, to reeeally make sure, is there something, better than green?"
Beca looked up from her mug and stared at the space in front of her, deciding not to reply to Fat Amy.
Beca walked into the apartment with Aubrey, noticing her girlfriend on the couch quickly closing her laptop and turning to face them, wiping tears from her eyes as she did.
"What's up with you?" Beca asked concerned, walking up to her and squeezing her shoulder comfortingly, "I know I'm not exactly Brad Pitt, but I've never mad a woman cry when I've entered a room."
"Yes you have," said Aubrey, earning a small glare from Beca.
"Apart from blind dates."
"And teachers, and breast feeding mothers, and women being fitted for wedding dresses."
"Yeah that was quite an afternoon wasn't it?" she rolled her eyes at the blonde before turning to Chloe who had now stood up, "I thought you were going to be in extra classes?"
"I've just been reading your essay, it's really moving babe, I can't believe you wrote all that!" she exclaimed happily, wrapping her arms around Beca's waist and giving her a firm kiss, ignoring the disgruntled blonde next to her.
"It's hard to believe isn't it?" asked said blonde, officially breaking the happy pair apart.
"And if that date is still here when I get back, the answer is yes."
"Oh God, now you're both pretending to be blind…"
"What?" asked Chloe, a frown adorning her features, still happily in Beca's arms.
"She's joking, aren't you Aubrey? And No Claims to the contrary," Aubrey looked up to stare at the shorter girl's challenging stare, "Insuring my reputation is very important to me. I hope I'm being, fully comprehensive." She turned back to the girl in her arms and smiled charmingly up at her.
"Sounds like black mail." Aubrey answered.
"It's More Than, black mail." Beca replied.
"What's going on?" asked the baffled Chloe, looking at Aubrey in expectation.
"Just a joke, I'm saying, you must be blind to go out with her and she must be blind to go out with you."
Chloe un latched herself from Beca and walked over to the coffee table and picking up a letter.
"Oh by the way, this was couriered to you." she said, handing it to Beca.
"Couriered?" she asked.
"It means sent," Beca shot a dirty look at Aubrey as she started to open the letter, "I know this new world might seem frightening to you but don't worry, I will be there to guide you, Labrador like." she said sarcastically.
"See you later," Chloe said to Beca, leaning in to give her another kiss, stopping when Aubrey cleared her throat, "love you!" she called walking down the corridor.
"Love you more!" Beca called after her, grinning like a mad woman.
"How can you lie like that, to your own girlfriend?"
"Oh it's not a complete lie," she responded, walking across the living room reading the letter with Aubrey not far behind, "I can be literally and articulate when I want to be. Oh bloody ball bags!" she exclaimed, having finished the letter.
"What's up?" asked Aubrey curiously.
"The competition organisers are sending a reporter around to do a story on me!"
"Oh dear, shame your blind isn't it other wise you would have seen that one coming!"
Beca threw another dirty glare at the chuckling blonde.
Barbra was in the apartment reading one of Chloe's magazines wearing her blue cleaning outfit when Beca stumbled into the room with a scarf tied over her eyes, touching the objects and trying to find her way about, earning a confused look from Barbra. She watched as Beca walked forwards and quickly grasped at the back of the couch.
"I can't believe you're going through with this," she said.
"Oh come on Barbra, how hard can it be to pretend to be blind for one hour? You spent the last month pretending to be paralyzed from the wrist down."
"Oh look, a miracle, they're moving again!" she replied, raising her middle finger to Beca's back as she stumbled around.
"Do blind people actually have to wear blind folds? It seems a bit unnecessary." She asked, curiously following after Beca.
"I'm going to take it off when they get here! I'm just trying to get a feel for it, talking of which." She moved her hands forwards and started moving her hands around the wide eyed Barbra's face.
"What are you doing? I do carry a mace you know."
"So that's how you stop them from running off. I'm reading your face, it's what blind people do." she explained.
"It kind of reminds me of that video with Lionel Richie…" she muttered thoughtfully.
"Yeah me too, I can feel the moustache."
Barbra's come back was interrupted by the door knocking.
"Quick their early! Answer the door!" Beca said hurriedly, turning to run into the kitchen, only to miss the door and ran face first into the frame. She groaned and carried on running into the kitchen.
Barbra smoothed out her cleaning apron and opened the door with a slight bow, showing a reporter who looked to be in her late twenties.
"Hello, I'm here to interview Beca?"
"Oh come in," Barbra opened the door wider and stepped back, flipping her hair and letting the reporter walk in, "oh this is all very exciting, never actually met a journalist before. Well not when there hadn't been a crime committed anyway, and even if it was it wasn't me, not this time. Shush Barbra!" she laughed and smiled at the now slightly freaked reporter, "I'm so prod of her you know, yeah, so talented, so awe inspiring."
"Are you her wife?" she asked with a wide smile.
"Don't be disgusting." Barbra looked at her like something gross she had found on her shoe.
Just then Beca walked into the room from the kitchen, dark Aviators on her eyes and a white pole tapping the ground in front of her when she walked.
"I sense visitors Miss Barbra." she said with a posh accent.
"Hello, I'm Dawn." the reporter called to her.
Beca walked towards her with her hand extended, walking right past Dawn and towards the door, looking around In confusion for a moment, tapping her stick wildly.
"I- I'm here to-"
Beca shushed her and leant forwards, sniffing around her face.
"Don't tell me Dawn," she sniffed a few times, "you're a woman."
Dawn smiled and nodded, "That's right."
Beca handed her the pole and when she looked down at it placed her hands on her face.
"I would say… brown eyes, late twenties, dark hair…"
"Wow, that's amazing!" she laughed, "are you sure you're blind?"
"…and black." Beca took the pole off the disgruntled reporter, "please, let us be seated."
They walked towards the couch, Beca still hitting her pole off the floor. Dawn sat on her seat, smiling at Barbra who had come in with coffee and biscuits, gasping in shock when Beca 'accidently' sat on her lap, mouthing that she was sorry and gesturing to her eyes as an explanation and sitting in the seat next to her.
"There are biscuits too, um Bourbons and Nice, she likes to read the name on them, it's like Braille."
Beca nodded her head, "Floor could do with a good sweep Barbra." she hinted.
"Well I would do but somebody's kicked my broom handle." she replied, pulling out the brush from her apron pocket, making Beca slowly try to hide the pole behind her arm. Barbra smiled and walked away.
"It's really nice to meet you but I should really think about getting the interview done, I've got a deadline to meet."
"Fire away." Beca said, holding out her hands.
"Oh, that's very good of you, but I need to speak to the person who wrote the essay."
"Sorry?" Beca asked, confusion leaking through.
"The winner, Beca, the woman in the wheelchair?" she said, Beca looked in front of herself frozen in shock whilst Dawn pulled out a form from her bag.
"Here's the form she filled in. she's ticked the box for wheelchair user?"
"Oh that's ironic, Beca being in a wheelchair and needing to think on her feet." Barbra said smugly as she walked past the back of the couch.
"Beca's my sister." Beca said, making Dawn turn away from her bag.
"Oh?" she asked, her eyebrows rising in shock.
"She's the one in the wheelchair; she fell out of a coconut tree when she was eight. Dad sent her up there because we had err… ran out of milk," Dawn looked confused whilst Barbra openly stared at Beca with disbelief, "he never forgave himself for not buying that tin of Marvel."
"Where was this?"
"They have coconut trees in Chorley?"
"It wasn't a real one, it was a lamppost. All the kids on the estate used to tie coconuts on them, makes the place more tropical. We even had steel drums, well we had stolen drums."
"Oh I see how silly of me, you see I thought you were Beca and you accidently ticked the wrong box. You know with you being," she gestured to Beca who was now silently fuming at herself.
"Oh yeah, no. That answer would have been far too simple."
"So what's your name?"
"Aubrey." Beca squeaked, mentally slapping herself for choosing the blonde.
"And where's Beca?" Dawn asked, confused yet again.
"O-oh is he not here?" she moved her hand around in the air timidly, as though searching for her presence, "where is she Barbra?
"Hmm? Oh, she's playing... football."
Dawn looked up at her with a raised eyebrow, Beca with a glare.
"In her wheelchair?" she asked sceptically.
"Yeah, she's rubbish." Barbra let out a small chuckle, trying to ignore Beca repeatedly smacking her forehead to her palm behind the reporter.
"I didn't notice the downstairs entrance having wheelchair access,"
"Oh it does if you let her go from the top of the hill," Beca answered, hoping to distract Dawn.
"It must be hard, two sisters living together with separate disabilities?"
"Oh its nothing. Overcoming adversities runs in the family, our Dad's got two club feet and our sisters got tourettes, its not easy but you never hear Mom complain."
"Yeah, she's mute."
"So when will Beca be back?"
"In about ten minutes-"
"Tomorrow," she quickly amended, "it's an away match." she explained at Dawn's questioning look.
"Well there's obviously been a bit of a mix up. I'll come back at the same time tomorrow then and do the interview if that's alright. Okay, see you then." She called, walking out the door.
"Yeah, see ya, well… feel ya." Beca replied with a small wave and smile, closing the door behind the reporter.
She took off her sun glasses and breathed deeply, glad that it was over for the time being.
"Well it's not often your speechless," Barbra commented, "did you get that from your Mother's side?"
Beca simply glared.
Once again Beca was sitting in the bar with Aubrey who was still a little concerned with her Insurance.
"I got my witness form through this morning from the car insurance. I filled it in exactly as we agreed." She nodded.
"Thanks," Aubrey nodded back.
"It's alright; I'd do anything for you mate."
Aubrey's head snapped up suspiciously.
"Yeah," Beca answered with a smile.
"You don't usually say mate."
"Well, I'm trying to phase out Posh Bollocks," Aubrey shook her head, still unconvinced, and looked away, "I like your shirt mate."
"What? It's not like I'm saying darling." Beca said with a confused frown.
"I think I prefer that actually, mate sound like you want something. At least with darling you sound like you want something you're never gonna get."
"Listen seriously, I know we don't say these sorts of things but, I just want you to know that, when things are going wrong for you, I'm always there."
Aubrey stared at the space in front of her, "That's true."
"I mean it Aubrey, in life there are times when you need real friends that help you out. And I just want you to know I consider you that sort of friend."
Aubrey looked proud of herself, "thanks that's really nice darling- mate!"
"Here's to true friendship, to the best friend a girl could ever have" Beca raised her pint glass and tapped it with Aubrey's, taking a sip from it after and taking a deep breath.
"Could you pretend to be my disabled sister and spend a couple of hours in a wheelchair?"
Aubrey's face was frozen in her slowly fading smile as she registered what the DJ had said, Beca watching her nervously.
"She's going to be here in five minutes, try again," Beca said to Aubrey, who rolled from the other side of the living room in a wheelchair, raising her arm to indicate when she reached the back of the couch, "I've told you don't indicate!" Beca groaned to the blonde who put her arm down reluctantly.
"Threatening to ring up the insurance company, my own mate! Blackmailing me."
"It's not blackmail; it's helping out a friend who's in trouble. I scratched your back,"
"Yeah a bit too hard, I ended up in a wheelchair."
"Now don't forget, who are you?"
"And what's your disability?"
"I have no feeling from the waist down."
"And who am I?" she asked, gesturing to herself.
"You're Aubrey and you have no feeling from the neck up!"
Beca sighed and straitened up to give Aubrey a withered glare, "I'm not joking."
"Beca, I know what I'm doing, I've come prepared. My legs are paralyzed due to the loss of the Motor and Sensory function, caused by a breakdown in the neural mechanism, quite possibly exaggerated by a peripheral nerve compression or a form of hyperkalemia," she looked up to Beca smugly, "I am not going to fail because of a simple school girl error," just then the door knocked and Aubrey stood up, "I'll get it," she realised what she had done at Beca's amused yet frustrated smirk and sat back down, "pretend you didn't see that."
Beca rolled her eyes and grabbed her stick, walking to the door and opening it after putting on her glasses.
"Arrrr Dad!" she said with a large grin, well aware of Dawn's sigh.
"It's Dawn, you must be Beca?" she asked over Beca's shoulder to Aubrey.
"Why Aubrey, you didn't tell me she was so attractive! And you wouldn't of course because you're blind."
"Just a bit of banter we have to keep the spirits up, she teases me about being blind, I installed an upstairs toilet, have a seat, I'll make some tea." She walked to the kitchen, hitting the pole on the floor.
"Aubrey told me yesterday about your accident, how you ended up in a wheelchair. Do you mind telling me about it in your own words?" she asked Aubrey who looked a little panicked.
"Well were do you start? I was playing on a trampoline-" Aubrey was cut off by a cup smashing in the kitchen and Beca walked into the room with an innocent smile.
"Sorry! Have you been moving that kitchen table from its normal place again you cheeky monkey?"
"Sorry to be rude, but could we just have two minutes on our own?" Dawn asked with a smile at Beca.
"Sure sorry, carry on! No one likes being interrupted in the middle of a story about climbing an imaginary coconut tree, that was in fact a lamppost, to fetch some coconut milk, because their father had run out of Marvel." She quickly spoke pointedly to Aubrey before walking back into the kitchen, ignoring the weird look she got from Aubrey.
"So err, where were we?" Dawn asked, rubbing her forehead tiredly.
"I was playing on my trampoline, when my Dad shouted to me 'Beca! Go climb up your imaginary coconut tree which is actually in fact a lamppost, and get me some milk I've ran out of Marvel."
"Yeah, it's pretty unbelievable isn't it?"
"And how old were you again?"
"Oh now, erm, was I 19?" she asked to the kitchen, she was answered with another cup smashing, "or was I a bit older?" smash, "I think actually I was a bit younger," smash, "actually I was a lot younger," she waited a moment before nodding to the confused reporter, "that's it I was a child! I was a child of ten, " smash, "nine," smash, "eight."
She smiled apologetically at Dawn's sigh, Beca poked her head back into the room grinning.
"Sorry, I just need some more cups." She then walked across the room.
"So how do you and Aubrey get on?"
"Oh we're like sisters-" Aubrey answered.
"We are sisters!" Beca turned to Aubrey who nodded.
"Yes, yes we are sisters."
"I must say, you both seem very positive about your situation." Dawn said approvingly with a large grin.
"To be honest we don't give it a seconds thought. All our friends and family don't see us as blind or disabled, they see us simply as Aubrey and Beca, sometimes I think they've actually forgotten." Aubrey smiled.
Just then Fat Amy walked in carrying some bags, only to stop and drop them in shock when she saw Aubrey.
"Oh my God look at you! You're in a wheelchair, what happened?!" Amy ran over to Aubrey who was internally groaning.
Beca quickly moved over to Dawn and spoke into her ear.
"It's her girlfriend Amy, she's a bit," she twirled her finger around by her temple, "come on Amy, come to the kitchen, help me clean up some broken cups." Beca grabbed Fat Amy's arm and dragged her towards the kitchen.
"Oh we haven't lost Princess Diana have we?" she asked worriedly.
"See, she forgets." Beca said to Dawn as she walked behind the couch.
Beca stood in front of Amy who had her arms crossed over her chest and was staring at the DJ with a disapproving look.
"You're pretending to be blind? Oh you're no better than David Blunkett!"
"He is blind." Beca frowned.
"Oh is he? Oh I said some terrible things to him when he opened our library."
Beca sighed and tried to get things back on track.
"Amy, are you going to help me or not?"
"Okay, but don't think I'm doing this out of pity just because you're disabled!"
Rubbing her head in annoyance, Beca quickly put her glasses on and followed after the Aussie, thankful she at least half got it right.
"Sorry about before, as Beca explained I have a sort of amnesia and I never remember anything, ever," Dawn smiled awkwardly, "oh I just remembered what I came over for! You had a phone call from the car insurance company," she said to Aubrey, "they aren't happy with her eye witness report." she pointed to Beca.
Beca looked wildly from the reporter to Amy before smiling slightly, "She means ear witness, I can hear a crash from 500 yards and know it was a Renault Cleo-"
Dawn laughed nervously and stood up, "Look, I think I will leave you to it, I've got enough for the piece for now." She stood and walked towards the door.
"Oh, is that it then?" Beca asked her hopefully.
"Yes, you'll be pleased to hear that I'm all done," the three sighed in relief, "I just need to take a quick photo." Aubrey's eyes widened comically as she turned her chair to face the reporter.
"You don't need to take a photograph!"
"Oh don't be so modest!" the reporter scoffed.
"Yeah! You're going to be in the paper and absolutely everybody in the World is going to see it, how exciting is that?!" Amy cheered happily, tapping Aubrey's shoulder before moving to Dawn who was looking at her camera with her back to them.
"Okay, enough is enough! This ends now!" Aubrey said to Beca, standing up behind Dawn with her hands on her hips. Beca looked at Dawn before running up and tackling Aubrey to the floor, putting her hand over Aubrey's mouth and pinning her down. Dawn span around, her expression showing shock and evermore confusion.
"Just playing one of our games! It's bonkers in this house!"
"I'm not dis-OW!" Aubrey yelled as Beca hit her leg with her pole she was still grasping firmly in her hand.
"Is she okay?" Dawn asked with concern.
"Yeah, she's just worried about this whole car insurance thing! In fact, I think I'm going to sort it out right now!" Beca yelled over Aubrey's struggling, "Amy, can you pass me the phone? I think it's about time I told them everything!" she turned around and saw Amy about to throw the phone, "I can't catch it I'm-" Beca was interrupted when the phone hit her on the forehead and sighed, gritting her teeth in annoyance, "blind."
She started to dial the number when Aubrey interrupted her.
"Wait! You can't do that now,"
"Well, we need to get this photo done don't we?" Aubrey replied with a frustrated sigh. Beca gave her a massive grin, getting up off of her and leaving Aubrey sprawled out on the floor.
"That's the spirit!" she told her encouragingly, "we love each other really," she said to Dawn who still looked stunned, "go on then, back in your chair." She hit Aubrey's leg with the stick.
What she failed to notice however, was Chloe returning early from one of her classes. She took one look around the room and stared at Beca.
"What the fuck is going on?"
"That's our sister Chloe, the one with tourettes?" Beca said to Dawn, her voice shaking slightly at the sight of her very pissed off girlfriend.
Once again Beca was in the kitchen, only this time she was getting a telling off from Chloe who was, by now, infuriated.
"I cried reading that essay!"
"I still had to print it off and post it! Anyone can write an essay, but not everyone can do Admin." She replied with a cheeky smile, hoping it would calm the red head. It didn't.
She went to walk past Beca and into the living room, Beca only just managing to catch her arm and push her back to where she was.
"Stop, your not gonna go in there and grass me up are you? You will go along with it?" she asked with wide hopeful eyes.
"You just don't see do you?"
"No, I'm not gonna go along with it."
"Fine, I'm not begging. Get in there and tell the reporter, everything."
"Alright I will." Chloe tried to go past Beca again only for the DJ to catch her, again.
"Alright I'm begging! Do you know what they do to people like me in prison?!" she asked with some hysteria.
"Don't worry; you never pick up soap anyway!"
Beca sighed and looked Chloe into her eyes.
"Look trust me, I've learnt my lesson."
"And your lesson is what?"
"Which is… if you're gonna pretend to be disabled, always check the form carefully before you send it- that's not it is it?"
Chloe rolled her eyes and gestured for her to continue.
"The lesson is, it's important to always be, truthful and honest," Chloe nodded her head in confirmation, "now will you just pretend that I'm blind, Aubrey's paralyzed, Fat Amy's got amnesia and you've got tourettes."
"Will you at least put it down for one shot?" Dawn asked hopefully to Aubrey, who was holding the large check in front of her face.
"No, I'm shy." she bit out.
"Alright then but be quick." She put it down so the reporter could see her face, well, the part that wasn't covered by a black balaclava and an oversized red clown nose.
Beca and Aubrey walked in from the kitchen and Dawn looked up at her with a sudden idea.
"How about you Chloe, one of the whole family together?"
"Oh no, I wouldn't want to steal the lime light away from these two –ARSEHOLES! Sorry, I believe my- DICKHEAD sister has explained my condition?"
Dawn nodded awkwardly.
"Well, winning a competition eh? The things my- BASTARD sisters get up to whilst I'm in class. I'm so proud of them. WANKERS!" she gave her an over the top smile and walked past Dawn who had gone up to Beca, whispering in her ear.
"Does your sister have a chance at getting a job then?"
"Oh yeah, she's fine. She's training to be Gordon Ramsay's PA."
"Well I better get going; it's been an experience meeting you all."
"Oh no, don't go yet! It's time for our game, why don't you tell Dawn what it's called." Chloe said to Beca, an evil glint in her eye that just about made the younger girl quake in fear.
"You remember, it's called Spatial Awareness."
"Remind me of the rules again?" Beca asked in confusion.
"I take an object," she turned to pick one of the mugs off of the shelf behind her, "and throw it towards you, and you try and catch it!"
Beca stared disbelievingly and her girlfriend, wondering if she really was that evil.
"That's impossible surely!" Dawn scoffed, looking at the, she presumed, slightly insane family before her.
"Well, not completely impossible." Beca laughed again in nervousness.
"Yeah but very, very, very unlikely," Chloe answered, smiling evilly at the silently fuming DJ, "catch." and with that Chloe threw one of the mugs at the motionless brunette.
It's official, I'm dating a witch. Beca thought as she heard it smash to the ground.
"Which one was that?" she asked fearfully.
"Brooking or Francis?"
"That's not too bad." Chloe then threw another one.
"That one was Francis."
"Oh I love this game you bi…" Beca trailed off with a forced smile.
"Oh this looks fun! Can I have a go?" Amy asked eagerly, walking to the mug shelf.
"Oh for fu-! Remember how important these mugs are for me Amy."
"Of course I don't remember, I've got amnesia." Amy replied, smiling at the room and Beca's deadly glare.
"Shilton, Peter," she read the name off the mug and threw it at Beca, making it smash on the floor, "Wilkins, Ray," she threw another one, "Spenser, Diana," she threw the mug, freezing afterwards and looking at the smashed mug, whispering 'oops'.
"And finally! Keegan, Kevin!" Chloe announced with enthusiasm, holding the mug in her hand and making Beca break out of her frozen state.
"Hang on, that's the really rare one."
"Then you will have to try really, really hard on this one wont you? I mean how much do you really want this? Catch."
She threw the mug into the air and it was like slow motion. It span past Amy's face as she watched the events unfold eagerly, it went past Dawn's open mouthed, gaping expression, and finally Beca's distraught face. Aubrey threw the check to the side and wheeled backwards, watching the mug carefully, whipping off the balaclava and clowns nose, making her hair go all over the place.
"Keevvviinnn!" Beca shouted.
Aubrey span her wheel so her chair raised off of the ground, extending her hand behind her head and reaching for the mug.
"How's that?!" she asked happily, holding the mug in the air, Beca sighed in relief whilst Amy and Dawn clapped excitedly, "and there's something about the permed hair that gives it more grip." she said with a self satisfied smile.
A man in a suit with a brief case and glasses knocked on the open door.
"Hello, I'm from the insurance company dealing with a Miss Aubrey Posen, I'm looking for a woman by the name of Beca who claimed to have witnessed the car accident."
Aubrey rolled her chair forwards and looked at the man, "Actually, I'm Beca."
Beca looked at her with a raised eyebrow before realisation dawned upon her.
"Oh that's right, and this is Aubrey, the driver!" Fat Amy said, walking over to Beca and holding her arm.
Aubrey stared at the now annoyed looking man as her stomach dropped, as did the mug she was holding in her hand that was now smashed on the floor.
It was a few hours later and Beca was sat with Chloe on the couch, the red head leaning her head on the DJ's shoulder. Aubrey had left a while ago with Amy, the anger still on her face, Beca didn't envy Amy at that moment.
"Well, that all went pretty smoothly." She said to break the silence they had fallen into.
"Did you do what I said and give that prize money to charity?"
"Yeah, although getting that giant check in the post box wasn't easy."
"Which charity did you choose?"
"Shelter, if they can't cash it at least they can use it as a roof." Beca put her head back on the couch, Chloe raising her eyes to the brunette.
"Devastated, she's lost her No Claims bonus and they said they won't insure her again, what with her being blind." She answered, rolling her eyes.
"Did she try Churchill's?"
"Ohhhhhh yes." Beca said, impersonating the dog.
"And what did they say?"
"Ohhhhhh no," she sat up at looked at Chloe, "bit of good news, I actually kept a bit of that charity money back, so we can still go out on that date." She smiled at Chloe's small frown.
"Don't worry, I know the world's a big scary place but you'll be alright. Especially now you've got ridden of your tourettes."
"You know what Beca, sometimes you really are an absolute cun-"
A/N: Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it ;)