Speed of Pain
This Fic Is Kind Of Dark And Is Mainly Only Rated M Because Of It.
"This way never my world, you took the angel away."
I felt nothing, nothing at all. The void, the hole, the emptiness inside my heart refused to be filled. I hated that I could do nothing to fill it. If only, it had never been created. Everyone I love betrayed me, criticized me, hated me, and yet I find myself being my own worst enemy. I cannot be truly proud of myself, and for a second I think…I don't want to be me anymore. It is time; I am ready to end it all right here, right now. I look over the edge and down at the water, I think to myself "Does this really kill a person?" hopefully. I put my foot, clad in my tennis shoes for soccer practice, on the ledge and my other on my tippy toes. I grip the ledge with my hand and think to myself of sweet redemption. Would killing me make everyone pay? At my funeral would everyone cry and drown themselves in regret? Would my father be proud or ashamed in me? Would he hate me more? I take my foot off the ledge and start backing away from it. Not today, I tell myself, I'll give life one last chance before I leave it for death.
"I'd kill myself to make everybody pay."
Its 6:30 and I am supposed to be downstairs eating breakfast and dressed early. For once I decided to be lazy and not try to be better than him. Learn to like myself. Maybe even learn myself.
"You were supposed to be downstairs at six, Sasuke." My older brother, Itachi says quietly yet sternly.
"I'm not going to school today." I declared. There's no reason for me to go, I know enough.
"You've already missed 19 days of school, Sasuke. If you miss one more you'll be kicked out." He warns me, though he knows I would love to be kicked out of school. "Father will not be proud."
He has to bring him up every time I misbehave. He has to bring up how father is already disappointed in me and is on the edge of disowning me. When I heard my father talking to my mother about disowning me, I was so tempted, so temped to kill myself, to kill everyone. Thank God for my mother's kind heart or else I would be in some type of foster home. I couldn't live that life, a disappointment to every face I see and my name would be known as a failure to the Uchiha clan.
"I'm getting ready." I give in. I get off my bed and grab my school clothes.
"I didn't know what love was on that day."
There's nothing perfect about this place, I truly don't understand why I'm not homeschooled. Maybe because the other clan's would see how much of a disappointment I am? Fame is more important than a person's well being. You learn that the hard way.
I am wearing my schools uniform of a white button up shirt, tan khaki pants, black tie, and boy sparies in which mine are black and white. Most people follow the dress code most don't. Not like it matters.
I walk up the stairs of the school and slide into the doors before noticed by the hooligans playing football outside the school. I instantly go to the office and sit down in one of the chairs and watch the office in motion. Shizune, the secretary, was making flyers for the upcoming Halloween dance, that I would not attend, and talking on the phone with a parent. Kakashi and Asuma were drinking coffee and discussing the recent events on the news. They did notice me and didn't care; I often come into the office and just sit. They know I'm not capable of sitting in the same room with people I hate for such a long period of time, ha-ha actually I tell them I am claustrophobic and can't handle being with such a large group of people. I play them like a fiddle.
"Sasuke, I think you could handle the amount of people outside." Shizune looks out the window from her seat at the few kids outside.
"I don't know." I'll faint, yes, that's what I'll do. Then she'll see the errors of her ways and I can go home. "What if they touch me?"
"Don't be such a prissy, Sasuke." Tsunade comes from out of her office with hands on hips. "How will you be when you're married?"
"I'm not going to get married."
"Not getting married?!" Asuma almost spit his coffee all over Kakashi with his outrageous reaction. "You're wasting good looks; I'd kill to look like you."
I'd kill for your life.
"There is no woman of my interest, and I don't think my life span needs to lower." I say jokingly in their eyes but in reality I mean it. I receive hardy laughs from Kakashi and Asuma.
"Stay romantically hopeless, Uchiha, but that doesn't mean you cannot interact with the students! Tell me, who are your friends?" I have plenty of friends. "Do you have any friends?" Of course I have friends.
"Yes, I have friends." My cat is my friend. I hope so. I think my dog might not like me and took my position as best friend.
"Really, what are your friend's names?" She pestered me.
"Mews and Jinx." I didn't even hesitate telling her my animal's names that's how smooth I am.
"What kind of person names their children that?" She hissed, obviously catching my bluff.
I name people that. Are you saying I have problems because I know I have them?
"I think they have pretty good names, quite unique." Better than yours, honestly, Tsunade?
"You need to hang out with people from this school."
"I play soccer."
"Did you go to the soccer boy's picnic yesterday, Sasuke?"
"No." Who would want to? What soccer team picnics?
"Why not?" You tell me
"I wasn't invited." It was true, the captain of the team decided to exclude me even though I am co-captain I wasn't informed. Well, I did find out eventually.
"Wasn't invited? Aren't you the co-captain?" Honestly, Tsunade, haven't you noticed? Nobody likes me.
"If someone sets their mind to it, they can exclude a person from living." Kakashi set his mug down, being the coach of the team he thought I didn't go because I was being my rebellion self, he didn't think his perfect captain was capable of such a thing."I'll give the captain a piece of my mind."
Why can't you see? It won't change a thing.
"Do whatever you like."
"Sasuke, there is a new student coming in the afternoon, I'd like you to show him around." Tsunade asked, putting a hand on my shoulder.
"Why me?" I look up at her with a hint of disgust in my voice. I dislike meeting new people. I dislike people.
"I just think you two would be great friends." She smiles and walks back into her office.
You're obviously insane.
"My mouth was a crib and it was growing lies."
Now I'm back in the office after hours of brutal school work waiting for this person to show up. I do not and I repeat I do not want to even look at this persons face. I don't want him to be my friend, I don't want a friend, and I certainly don't need him. I'm sick of people and I'm sick of friends, they are nothing but letdowns and-
"Sasuke," Tsunade barks in my face. "The new student is outside, so put on a pretty face and prepare to meet him."
What makes him so special? Is he the president of the free world like I am? No? I didn't think so; I'm not even the president. Trick question.
The door opens to reveal a boy with blonde spiked hair, baby blue eyes, scars all over his face, wearing the same thing as me except his sparies are orange, and he has the biggest grin on his face that it makes me want to puke. Just looking at him makes me sick.
"Naruto! Good to see you as always." Tsunade's voice drips with happiness and a hint of sarcasm.
"Same here granny, say is everything the same as it use to be?!"He beamed with excitement.
So he used to go here? He doesn't need my help; I should be allowed to leave.
"Not exactly, I got Sasuke here," She gestures towards me. "To help you find your way around. Get some new friends and such."
"Awesome!" He exclaims. "I can't wait to see everyone again, I hope puberty didn't hit too hard!" They both break out in laughs as I sit there confused and angry. So he knows people here too? Why can't they help him? I'll only bring him down to Hell with me. But if he whishes I could take him down with me.
"I burned all the good things in the Eden Eye."
"That's Pre-calculus, that's advanced art." I pointed to the doors not even bothering being as helpful as to go inside and introduce him to the teachers. I honestly didn't care about his existence.
"Advanced art?" He asked trying to keep up with me.
"It's for the extremely gifted in art."
"I wonder if I could get in that class, what the teacher is like." He said to himself.
"That down there is the cafeteria and that is senior hall." I stopped and turned to him and saw his confused face.
"Is that the end?" He asked, thinking the school was bigger.
"Uh," He looked at the clock then the paper in his hand. "It says I have lunch now, what do you have?"
Why does it matter to you freak of nature?
"Lunch as well."
"Maybe we could eat lunch toge-"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.
"I decline." After that I walked away heading for the boy's bathroom, or anywhere that isn't with him.
"WAIT, WHAT ONE WAS THE CAFETERIA AGAIN?" He shouted after me and ignored him.
You should know, shouldn't you?
"We were too dumb to run, to dead to die."
At lunch I had to sit in a different spot since the Naruto kid was scoping out my usual spot, someone must have told him where I sat. Right now I was sitting on the far left of the cafeteria, sulking. I use to sit with the rest of the soccer team but then they decided I wasn't worthy of sitting there or of being in their presence. I looked up to see two girls dressed in the same as me but with navy blue skirts and gray knee socks. It was obvious I was sitting in their seat.
"Uhm." The one with blonde hair tied up into a ponytail started. "Did you want to sit with us or something?"
I simply pointed over at Naruto sitting at my seat, still waiting for me.
"Oh, that's Naruto, no wonder you moved." The girl I recognized as Tenten, Neji's girlfriend, snickered. "He's the definition of bimbo. Say, what does he want with you?"
I shrugged, I didn't like this, and I didn't want to be around these girls.
"Still not talking much, eh Sasuke?"She nudged my arm then leaned in close. "I wouldn't blame you; if I was in your position-"She was cut off when another person hit her on the back.
"Come on, Sasori said we could sit with him." I didn't see much of the girls face but I did see her long pink hair stick out of her jacket. The other girl with a ponytail left with her while Tenten looked at me for a minute then left. I knew exactly what she was thinking. I just didn't care enough to say anything about it.
"I would have told her then; she was the only thing that I could love in this dying world."
Here we go; the end of the day means the start of soccer practice. I love soccer don't get me wrong, it's the people that make it bad. They ruined me, broke me, and drove me to do things I never saw myself do. I use to be friends with all of them, every day after practice we'd either go watch the cheerleaders or watch the volleyball girls practice and rate them, chose who we want to bang, kiss, and marry. Every time they'd pick different girls but I would keep with the same ones and they'd tease me about it. I miss it.
I was wearing my soccer uniform, which was blue and white, shorts, jersey with my last name and the number 17 on it, and my soccer practice shoes. The same uniform they betrayed me in. The rest of the guys are standing in a circle planning out how we will defeat Suna on Friday. Of course they wouldn't include me, it wasn't like I was a bad player, Hell I am the star player. It's me that affects everything. I put my things down on the bleachers and grabed a seat next to the bottle of Gatorade and mind my own damn business, something they don't they do.
"Hey, Uchiha." Kiba, a simple wannabe nobody, turns towards me, attracting the attention of the others. He jogs over to me and smirks. "Hey, buddy, how you been?"
I've been fucking terrible due to you and your stupid excuses for human beings you deranged mutt of a person I hope you rot in Hell for your sins-
"Fine." I manage to spit out, still keeping my cool.
"Oh, really, I heard you were hanging around-"He started but got cut off by Kakashi.
"Is it really your concern, Kiba?" Kakashi questioned his usual porn book in his hand. "What does it have to do with you?"
"I-I-I was just asking my old friend here a question!" He stuttered, lost for words since Kakashi is an evil genius we all should be afraid of.
"He shouldn't even be your old friend; he should be your friend. Let us start practice, 5 laps for warm up."
"My heart's a tiny blood clot, I picked at it, it never heals and never goes away."
I was walking down that same road again, the road where I had almost committed suicide. I slowly walked down the street looking at the blue water instead of where I was going. Suddenly I ran into someone, it was a girl, the same girl with the pink hair, she had her foot on the ledge just like I was except she was determined to jump and that's what happened when she hopped off the ground.
"I want to outrace the speed of pain."
Did thou enjoy thy fanfic?