Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians.
Gosh, could you be any more annoying? It's been two weeks since we left Camp Half-Blood, and I haven't even gotten a 'Hi, how are you? Just making sure you're still alive.' I mean, really! I could have been maimed by a monster or killed by an Algebra test for all you knew. Gosh!
Well, for your information, I am alive. Hating Clarion Academy, but alive. Curse my father for making me go here! Everyone here is such a snob. So what if your dad is a famous politician? Who cares if your mom is a super model? I know kids whose parents pulverize with lightning bolts and control the freaking ocean! Do I hear anyone trying to compete with that? I think not.
I kind of, sort of, maybe made enemies with Chinese royalty on the first day of school. (Yes, apparently Clarion Academy really is 'all that'.) It really wasn't my fault though. Yeah, so it was my soy milk that spilled all over her brand new real fox fur coat. That doesn't prove anything. And milk cartons really can slip from your hands and fly fifteen feet, right?
I got on the bad side of the headmistress, too. Whoops. But how was I supposed to know she had control over my life when I told her that she should really consider buying a more environmentally-friendly vehicle…and a new wrinkle cream? Needless to say, I am now stuck in the dorm room as far away from the main building as possible. That part isn't so bad until you consider that the bathroom is two hundred yards away.
On the bright side, I haven't gotten any unwanted prophecies yet, so I at least appear mortal if not normal. And I haven't seen anything that should belong in mythology books, so I've been pretty safe, too - unless a Chinese hit man comes along, that is. I have a sword in my falling-apart dorm room though - just in case.
So how is your life going, Percy? Or is life just not the same without the threat of inevitable death hanging over your shoulders?
Oh, no, I just remembered. The teachers here at Clarion are absolutely merciless. I have eight classes a day, and I got homework from nine of them. How? I don't know, but I have tons of schoolwork to get started on. And a quiz to study for tomorrow…and a test this Friday…and an exam next week… Ugh.
Percy! Oh my gosh! You would not believe what happened today. I only started this letter just yesterday, and everything has already changed completely. First of all, my dorm room burned down. Supposedly, the electrical circuits were faulty and sparked, but between you and me, it was a dragon. No, seriously, it was a dragon.
I started my day this morning like normal. I woke up, got dressed, and ate one of my smuggled candy bars from a stash I keep in my mattress for breakfast. (Slightly squashed, but it definitely beats bland oatmeal.) I struggled through my eight levels of torture. (They get worse as the day goes on, in case you wanted to know.) I even tried to smooth out my relationship with the Chinese princess. (I'd tell you her name, but I can't pronounce it, let alone spell it. I think of her as Princess Lou Lou.) Okay, so by "smoothing it out", I mean make ten times worse. I just informed her that her lipstick had fish scales in it (It really does.) and she freaked out for some reason.
Anyway, the real trouble started when I took the long journey to my outcast dorm room. I don't know what the mortals saw through the Mist, but I'll tell you what I stared mortified at: a dragon. Well, to be more accurate, it was the Delphyne. I know that now from doing a little research on my computer.
Delphyne is a female dragon from Greek "mythology", but we know what that means. Today, the monster stalked around my cabin, the sunlight glittering off her purple scales. She appeared to be peering in the windows of my cabin - or at least trying to. Her large nose got in the way.
When she saw me paralyzed in fear barely ten yards from the door, something lit up in her lilac snake-like eyes. "The oracle!" it cried in an ancient raspy voice. "After years of searching, I have finally found you! Mother Gaea will be so pleased."
Naturally, that didn't sound too good to me. If this thing was persistent enough to look for me for years, then I bet it was going to make sure to be thorough about my assassination. I was going to have to have a talk with this Mother Gaea.
Things might have ended differently if I had had my sword available, but guess what. My sword was in my dorm room. Normally, that wouldn't be a problem, but there was a seven foot dragon in between me and the door at the moment. That was a problem.
"Hi, this is isn't a great time for me. Do you mind coming back later?" I asked politely. It was worth a shot.
The dragon laughed heartily until it almost looked like it was having a heart attack. Two ribbons of smoke streamed from her nostrils, making me a little nervous. "Oracle of Delphi, you should know I am here to stay," she rasped, amused like two old friends sharing an inside joke.
I somehow managed a wry grin. "…right." Then I ran. I'm not exactly proud of that part, but hey, it was a big dragon. What was I supposed to do? I sprinted on the opposite side of the cabin as the dragon and dived into the window. With furious speed, I began digging through my pile of stuff, looking for my sword. Outside, I could hear the Delphyne screeching in outrage.
Finally, I found my sword in the refrigerator. (Don't ask.) Grasping the hilt, I was ready for battle. Mostly because it seemed like the thing to do at the time, I swung the sword around, getting the feel of the blade. Instead of pulling it off smoothly like a hero in an action movie, the sword got stuck in the light socket. Shocking, huh?
Sparks flew from where the metal blade met the electrical source, and my kitchen lights began to flicker. I dropped the sword when it first connected, so I was now weaponless with a dragon right outside. Not to mention the little problem I had inside. One of the sparks fell on the carpet (very expensive carpet, too) and caught fire. Well, you can imagine the rest.
The next thing I know, fire sirens are coming, and I'm sitting in the headmistress's office. Thankfully, the cabin was only partly damaged, but I have to live somewhere else while they're repairing it. A lot of my stuff was lost, but I still have this letter which I kept in my pocket to protect from prying eyes, and my sword which conveniently shrunk down to a bobby pin which I now keep in my hair. That's all I really care about anyway. On the bright side, the Delphyne left when the firefighters arrived. On the wickedly evil, cruel and unusual side, I am now roomed with Princess Lou Lou.
I'm actually writing this letter under the blankets by flashlight. I just moved in an hour ago, and Lou Lou already gave me the spill. Don't touch her stuff. Don't talk to her. Lights out by nine. My bathroom time is strictly between five and six in the morning. The rest is Lou Lou's. If I don't do what she says, I get arrested. You know…the usual.
In all honesty, Percy, I think I'd rather be with the other fire-breathing monster right now instead of this one.
Well, it is finally the weekend, and I can leave this prison called Clarion Academy and mail this letter. I'll send it to your mom, Percy, and hopefully, it will find its way to you eventually. I suppose I should tell you the end of my little adventure first though. I bet it will shock you.
A couple of days passed that were completely uneventful. Being roomed with Lou Lou was torture of the most heinous kind, but I somehow survived it. At last, the repairs on my cabin were finished, and I could move back in. After cheerfully saying goodbye to my roommate, I drug what was left of my belongings down the dirt path to my secluded dorm room. Guess who was waiting for me there.
Delphyne was curled up in the main room, taking up most of the space. She stared at me with those purple shiny eyes. "I have awaited your return, young Oracle," she greeted. I dropped my stuff in the doorway where I stood and reached for my bobby pin. "There is no need for that, Oracle of Delphi. I am not your enemy."
I rolled my eyes. "Well, you can't tell me that you're my friend," I snapped.
She continued to stare at me plainly.
"…you're not, are you?"
The dragon shook her head (rattling the cabin as she did so) as if I was an ignorant little kid. "Do you not know, young Oracle? I am not only your friend, but your protector. Gaea, my mother, gave me the task of protecting the Oracle of Delphi. That's you."
I was agape. "You mean you're my guard dragon?" I asked, amazed.
The great dragon sighed. "In a manner of speaking. My apologies for taking so long to find you. After Apollo took my life, it took many years for me to reform. But I am here now, and I am forever at your service."
Awesome, huh? My parents wouldn't even let me have a dog, and now I have my very own pet dragon! Delphyne, or Delly as I call her now, stays in the main room of my cabin - it's the only one she fits in - and she's here to protect me when I need her. I don't know what mortals will see if they ever walk in (probably a big bear), but hopefully I won't have to find out for a while.
So just the average week for one of us I guess. I hope to see you soon, Percy. I miss you a lot. And say hi to everyone for me!
P.S. Delly says hi, too!