Chapter 2: Dating and Hiding
AN: Hey everyone! I got a nice review so I decided to get back to this story! ) Plus, I'm surprised not to have received a single flame yet! *hehe* I guess I used the warnings right! Merci to all the wonderful readers, this is for you!
HetaliaAkatsukiGirl619: Thanks! I like knowing people love my stories.
Switzy: *cuddling Scotland plushie* Scotty left me! Oh well *smirks evilly*
Switzerland and Germany: *looking at each other in fear*
Prussia: I want my lemon bitch!
Prussia: WHY?! WHY YOU NO LOVE ME ANYMORE?!
Switzy: *sighing* Well, you are the one who hooked me on Hetalia. I'll give you a lemon soon.
Prussia: Hear the France! We get a lemon!
Ambroise: If she gives me one I'll kill her.
Switzy: *smiling in a deranged way* you're more of a slut then France. You know that, right? You like reading and watching porn way too much.
Ambroise: *watching porn* DO NOT!
France: *looking at the TV* Cher! You would do that?
Ambroise: *shrugging* If I got a mil for every XXXX that went up my XXX as a porn star, fuck yes. I'd do it.
Germany: *looking at screen, pulling out riding crop*
Ambroise: *pointing at him, watching screen* No XXX till I get my alcohol then you can XXXX my XXX till morning XXXX.
Switzy: He's way to damn explicit. Story time! Gather around!
Disclaimer: Fair use and shit.
Ambroise paused the TV and picked up the phone. "Bonjour Francis. How was your date?"
"Fine, cher, really fun actually."
Ambroise smirked. "Did you follow my advice and channel your inner Victorian Lady and refuse to put out on the first date?"
"Oui, it was hard, but I did." France sighed. "I did it. I hate you, cher."
Ambroise glanced at the TV. "Um, France, you do know what I do around this time, right. Not that I didn't want to know about your date but you have horrible timing!"
"Oh, yes, this is your fun time isn't?"
"Yes, and unfortunately, I think I'm dying."
"Meet me at that little dinner in an hour."
"Bye!" Ambroise hung up and turned the TV back on. "That's right XXXX his little XXXXXXX till he XXXXX all over himself."
(He wasn't watching porn, he was watching yaoi, well, same difference.)
Ambroise sat down across from France, ordering a coke. "We should go get blue motherfuckers later."
"And deal with your drunken ass? No." France glared. "Last time you had one you almost left the bar with a mafia man who was going to shove his gun up your-"
Ambroise glared. "That was one time! And he slipped something in my drink, there are some lines even drunk me won't cross! Like vampires and metal!"
France rolled his eyes. "What about werewolves?"
"Well, if they transformed while-" He stopped, catching sight of two Germans entering. "I'll tell you later. Stick and Bitch are here."
Prussia spotted France and pulled Germany over with him to the booth. They took their seats and Ambroise immediately fished out his phone and started texting his lawyer about a few revisions to his will.
France looked over Ambroise's shoulder at the text. "Cher, you're immortal, why do you have a will?"
"Don't remind me!" Ambroise growled. "I need to think. Other then my porn stash, do I have anything that's worth anything? Let's see…my game systems and games are at least 25,000…I think that's it. Well, money…"
France smacked him. "Stop it. Now."
Prussia was looking at him. "Porn stash?"
Ambroise sighed. "I talk aloud way too much, yeah, porn stash. Like I said before I prefer carnal pleasures. And alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol. Blue motherfuckers galore!"
"If you like alcohol the Dane and I made a drink called the 5 meters, really strong shit." Prussia smirked.
Ambroise looked at him disdainfully. "You do know that Francis and I tell each other everything, right? I know your name for your dick. Five meters? God dude, if it was that long, France wouldn't let you come near him. Head over heels or not. Be careful what you wish for."
France cuffed him. "Don't even think of using your damn voodoo magic on him for something like that!"
Ambroise smirked evilly. "The universe has a way of doing things that are so damn funny. Now, why did you want to see me?"
France wasn't having any of it. "Non, promise you won't."
"Fine, I promise. Witch's honor." Ambroise rolled his eyes.
"Well, actually, this is about you being a hypocritical bitch." Prussia interjected.
Ambroise sent him a look that could have curdled milk. "I am not a bitch, I am not the bitch-"
France clamped a hand over his mouth. "Listen!"
"Can I order ice cream first because that will keep me quiet?" Ambroise moved France's hand.
The waitress came back and returned a moment later with Ambroise's ice cream and a beer for each of the Germans.
"Now, you and Germany need to talk." France told him sternly.
"I'd fuck a vampire before I'd do that." Ambroise said through a mouthful of ice cream.
"That can be arranged!" Prussia shouted.
Germany used Prussia's skull tie to gag him. "Shut up."
"Ambroise, you should-"
Ambroise interrupted. "Yeah, well maybe I don't want to! That chapter ended and was burned up, leave me alone about it!"
"You are being a hypocrite!" France snapped. "You convinced me to give Prussia a chance!"
"Because he started invading my personal space in an effort to get to you! I might be your friend, but I'd prefer to leave relationship decisions to you! God! You would have given in eventually. Now, you seriously interrupted my day off to piss me off?"
"Oui, bitch, I did. Now talk."
Ambroise raised an eyebrow. "Alright, you're a nosy bitch who needs to stop dragging me into this shit. I talked. Now let me eat ice cream!" He kept his eyes on the ice cream.
France grabbed it and pushed it in front of Prussia.
Ambroise stared at the place where his ice cream had been, tears in his eyes. "I-I'm going to kill you!"
"Don't be such a brat." France rolled his eyes.
"I will dance on your grave. You. Took. My. Ice cream. I've never felt so disappointed and betrayed." He was glaring at the table.
"Oh please, you probably had ice cream for breakfast."
"Gelato actually." He admitted. "But I deserve ice cream!"
"Why?" France raised an eyebrow.
"Well let's see, what did I tell you I was going to do ne night while I was drunk?"
France spent the next answer popping up with random shit Ambroise had said while under the influence of alcohol.
"Have sex with a woman?"
Ambroise glared harder. "No!"
"Become a porn star?"
"Get a tattoo?" France asked with a sigh. "That's the last one."
"Yes, I got a tattoo."
"Oh!" France looked him over. "Where and of what?"
"I was drunk so I said he could tattoo whatever he wanted."
France raised an eyebrow. "What is it and where?"
"Angel wings. On my back. And a tramp stamp. I don't know what it says."
"Angel wings? Wow, whoever it was did not know you." France couldn't help but roll his eyes.
"Well, he said they were angel wings. I haven't seen them yet."
"You haven't seen your tattoo yet?"
He shook his head. "It's kind of hard to crane my neck far enough. I get a headache when I try. Usually because I'm drunk at that point."
"Text me a picture of it later." France ordered. "Now, what were we here for?"
Ambroise shrugged. "May I have my ice cream back?"
"It melted." Prussia interjected happily.
Germany had laid his head down on the table over half an hour before.
"Damn, damn, damn!" He pouted. "I'll just get a milkshake later."
"If I agree to go out on one date can I not have my ear chewed off anymore?" Three hours and fifteen different tactics later, Ambroise was about to knock out.
"Oui." France knew that was as good as Ambroise was going to give.
"Oh, uh, France?" Amboise asked, blinking sleepily. "I'm going to go get drunk. If I don't call you by 2 tomorrow I'm either passed out drunk in the street, in the hospital, or kidnapped."
Ambroise waved. "Bye bye." He stood and left.
France and Prussia walked into the benefit being held by America and England for how history had affected them all. Germany and Switzerland were already getting drunk at the bar when the two arrived. The first thing France noticed was that Spain was incredibly drunk and hanging off of England.
"We should do something more fun." Spain said seriously, hiccupping a moment later.
England rolled his eyes. "I wish I could hit you." He hissed.
Spain smirked. "Then we'd start fighting and end up in the janitor's closet-"
England clamped a hand over Spain's mouth. "Not another word or we'll have a repeat of the Spanish Inquisition."
Spain, even drunk, understood the threat and silenced himself, leaving England so he could get more alcohol.
France walked over to England once Prussia ran for the booze. "So you and Spain?" He asked, smirking.
England glared. "It is nothing serious frog; we've just found that we both enjoy violence in everything."
"Sadomasochistic." France laughed. "I knew it! I knew it!"
England rolled his eyes. "Anyone who loves fighting has a certain degree of sadomasochism in them France."
France just winked. "Oui, of course Arthur, of course."
France's phone buzzed and he checked it.
Here's the damn tattoo. I actually kind of like it. Maybe I should get a piercing next. Like, ear piercing, not a Prince Albert or some shit like that.
France glanced it over. He agreed, it was done rather prettily. The intricate designs and the words underneath: Angel In between. It really did kind of fit Ambroise.
I like it. How long were you on the table?
All night, I think, I lost consciousness.
France laughed. Good job.
Oh, fuck you Francis.
Bye, cher, have to go.
Prussia snuck up behind France, grabbing him around the waist, and nibbling on his ear.
France squeaked. "What the hell?"
Prussia laughed, releasing him, and just smirking. "Still being a Victorian lady?"
"Second date to? Damn it!" Prussia growled.
"If you want I can have Ambroise send you something to help. He can get anything."
"You in handcuffs?" Prussia asked, eyes begging.
"If he wanted to, yes, he could. I meant pornography."
"Oh." Prussia sighed.
"5th date." France looked around.
"But this is only the second!"
"I'll count the next hour as the third."
"I love you!"
"If you get England and Spain on tape from Elizibeta, I'll make it fourth as well."
Prussia's eyes shine. "Hell yeah! Beta!" He called, running around in search of Hungary.
Prussia: Does this mean-
Switzy: *Nodding* You get a lemon next chapter after you accompany Germany and Ambroise on a double date to Ambroise's favorite place that's open before 3 PM.
Ambroise: *smiling broadly* I now understand that there is indeed beauty in your demonic horrible sadistic heart Switzy.
Switzy: Yep! I really need to get to work on AuSwiss though, seriously.
Germany: …I have a question.
Switzy: Uh huh?
Germany: Since you're a France cosplayer and a NY cosplayer, aren't you more of a pervert than Ambroise?
Ambroise: Yeah, aren't you?
Switzy: #Eat My Swiss Cheese! *runs off screen*
Switzerland: …She totally stole my line from 7 minutes in heaven. And added a #
Prussia: #Eat My 5 Meters!
Ambroise: #XXXX me XXXX till I XXX all over the wall!
Germany: #I feel bad for myself
England: #France Will Die
Austria: #Looking Up Yaoi of Myself and Switzerland
Switzerland: #Shooting Austria In The Dick