Summary: A humorous fic, I hope. Jonas develops an internet addiction to a very… specialized type of site.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just enjoy getting inside their heads from time to time (and, in this case, messing with them a bit).
Spoilers: None. Set at an indeterminate point in season 6 (I think 6… the one airing on Sci-Fi).
Feedback: Pretty please? Feed me, feed me!!!
Author's Note: I absolutely adore the character of Jonas Quinn, and am making fun in all respect. Fics like this are what happens when you combine sleep-deprivations, painkillers, and IM conversations (Kameka, this fic is SO your fault), with muses who badly need something to write about.
"Left behind. Again." Jonas sighed as he walked into his office. He shrugged and picked up the remote-control, turning on the TV. The Colonel was right, though… there was no real need for him to be on that particular mission. At least at SGC he got to watch the Weather Channel. "Ooh, hurricane in the Bahamas…" he remarked to no one in particular as he put on a pot of herbal tea.
He sat down in front of the TV, watching avidly as the anchor described the course that the hurricane was following. "Of course," she added, "you can get real-time updates on the hurricane's progress at our web-site, 24 hours a day."
"Web-site?" he repeated quizzically, getting up and pouring himself a cup of tea. "Hmm…"
He looked over at his computer thoughtfully for a few moments, then shrugged and dismissed the idea as the Traveler's Forecast came on. Ah, it was sunny and 93 degrees at Area 51. Rainy in Seattle, as per usual, but a little warmer than was average for this time of year. He sipped at his tea and sat back, putting his feet on the desk and reading the scrolling forecast for the Cheyenne Mountain area.
Sam was a little worried when Jonas was not there to greet the rest of SG-1 on their return. He was always there to greet them. Wondering if he was not, perhaps, a little upset at having been left behind, she walked to his office to talk to him. Besides, he would likely be eager to hear how the mission had gone.
"Jonas?" she called, tapping on the opened door before entering.
"Come in, Sam," Jonas' voice replied cheerfully.
She smiled. He did not sound upset at all. In fact, from the tone of his voice, he was up to his elbows in some interesting new text-book or field report. She entered and saw him sitting in front of his computer, staring eagerly at the screen, only his eyes, and occasionally his hand on the mouse, moving.
"Hey, what you reading?" she asked, walking up to him. She stared curiously at the screen.
"This internet thing your planet has is really amazing!" Jonas enthused, smiling up at her. "You can get anything on here!" He grinned again and returned his attention to the screen.
Sam smiled uncertainly and looked around the room. It was littered with empty tea-cups and candy-bar wrappers, not at all like the normal, neat condition that Jonas kept it in. "Yeah, anything…" she said softly, staring at the screen and shaking her head. "Jonas, how long have you been looking at this?"
"Um…" Jonas shrugged. "What day is it?"
Sam stared, wide-eyed. "Jonas, you're kidding?"
He shook his head. "No. I kind of lost track… This is really fascinating stuff!"
She inhaled deeply and shook her head. "It's Tuesday, Jonas."
"Really?" he asked, blinking in surprise, but not taking his eyes from the screen as he clicked between windows, his smile widening as a new one popped up. "Wow! Look at that!" he exclaimed, pointing.
"Jonas, when's the last time you left the computer?" Sam asked, ignoring the image on the screen. She was starting to get worried.
"Um, Friday, I think. It might already have been Saturday, though." He shrugged absently. "Wow, this 'real-time' feature is great! And the streaming video…"
Sam left quickly to find Doctor Fraiser.
"Since Friday?" Janet repeated, shaking her head.
Sam nodded, sighing. "I didn't think that internet addictions were real before, but now…"
Janet nodded. "Yeah. This definitely sounds like it might be an addiction. But Jonas? I wouldn't have thought of him as the type…"
"I know." Sam nodded again, shrugging helplessly. "Neither would I. But…"
Janet nodded. "Well, we're just going to have to deal with this like you would with any addiction."
"What? You want to take his computer away?"
Janet shrugged. "Maybe he'll have the will-power to regulate it himself." She paused. "How did this happen?"
"Well, we left him behind when we went on our last mission. I guess he must have gotten bored or something, stumbled across it…"
Janet nodded. "He'll need to find other things to fill his time, hobbies, maybe."
"Other things to fill his time? Janet, he's read the entire base library, already. It's Jonas! What else is he supposed to do?"
Janet shrugged. "I don't know. Take some classes, maybe. A correspondence course." She shrugged again.
"Just so long as it's not an internet course," Sam muttered, shaking her head.
"If nothing else works, it wouldn't hurt to take his modem," Janet added apologetically. "And… someone's going to have to tell Colonel O'Niell."
Sam inhaled deeply. "I guess that would be my job…" she muttered, shaking her head. "Perfect…"
"I can if you'd like…" Janet offered.
Sam shook her head. "Thanks, Janet, but I think I'd better handle it."
Janet shrugged, internally grateful not to have to be the one to tell Jack that a member of his team had developed this bizarre addiction. Looking back, though, she supposed that there had been warning signs.
"Good luck, Sam," she called as Sam left.
"Thanks. I'm going to need it."
"An internet addiction?" Jack repeated, shaking his head. "Jonas?"
Sam nodded and turned down the corridor towards Jonas' office. "I thought you'd want to handle this within the team. Not involve General Hammond."
Jack nodded. "Good call, Sam." He shook his head. "I would not have thought of Jonas as the type to be into porn, much less get addicted to it," he said softly.
"Porn, sir?" Sam asked, shaking her head. "Jonas?" She shook her head again as they walked into his office. "Not exactly…"
Jack frowned. "What then."
A pained expression crossed Sam's face. "He discovered that the Weather Channel has a web-site, sir."
"Yup!" Jonas called enthusiastically from behind his computer. "They have streaming video." He looked up at Sam and Jack, an awed expression on his boyish face. "And they update it in real-time!"
"Real Time?" Jack repeated, frowning.
Jonas nodded. "That's right, sir. Did you know that you sometimes have to wait fifteen minutes for the TV channel to update itself." He returned his attention to the computer. "Hey, it just started raining outside…"