A/N: This is going to be absolutely ridiculous- but when (if?) you finish, please let me know if you'd like me to continue with the other seasons. This piece presents a death ficlet for every season 1 episode (hit-and-run style). Some of these are completely absurd, and the rest are even more absurd (okay, a fair few of these are 'normal', I admit it). The first several are basically drabbles, but the last few insisted on being longer (but not too long). I was going to post them all as one chapter, but then decided splitting them up would be more convenient in case anyone actually wanted to re-read specific episodes.

If these are crap, please tell me because frankly, I wrote them in a couple of hours after a busy weekend- leaving me with nearly no ability to judge their quality. Yes, I could have waited to post them, but I wanted them up for April 1st and I couldn't be sure I'd have more writing time before next weekend. Anyway, hope you enjoy ;)


"No young man, no matter how great..."

A dark-haired youth trips and falls down a sandy hill, screaming all the way to the bottom where he lands with a crash and falls silent.

Two travelers coming from the opposite direction happen upon his body.

"Oy, who's this skinny little bligh'er?"

"Looks like 'e broke 'is neck, poor lad... well, least we kin do is bury 'im."

"Why would we wan' ter do that?"

"'Cos we can go through 'is stuff for payment, see? Got a pretty nice pack there, 'asn't 'e?"

"You always were the bright one... wha' do ya think, does this scarf look good on me?"

"Hmm... try this blue one- there, much be'er."

"...Just forget I said anything..."