A.N: Just so you know, this one shot is a complete joke; just something my friend and I came up with. Don't take it too seriously.
Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece
The Three Admiral Brothers
It was weird, really. The three admirals, three brothers, two of them age 28 and one of 25, who had the powers of monsters and yet were so childish. The lower ranking marines often wondered if they had gotten their positions because their grandfather was the legendary Garp the Fist, but one look at them in battle told otherwise. They had deserved their ranks, no matter how childish and young they were. Still, there were times the three brothers made the fleet admiral pull his hair, wishing that he could retire already.
"Commodore Coby, please tell what happened in the fight against Santoryu Pirates" Orders fleet admiral Kuzan, a tall man with long black hair. The pink haired officer salutes, saying: "Yes, sir! It went like this..."
Three days ago:
"Sir!" Captain Helmeppo yells as he bursts in the room of the eldest admiral "We have sighted the ship of Santoryu Pirates and- uhh... sir?"
The sight in front of him always startled him, no matter how many times he saw it. The admiral was sitting at his table with fork still in his hand and his face literally on his plate. His narcolepsy had kicked in once again.
"Don't mind him; he'll wake up soon enough" Helmeppo jumped as he heard this, having not noticed the blond admiral reading in the corner of the room "So, you were saying?"
"Ah yes, we've caught a sight of Kuina, the ship of Santoryu Pirates" Captain Helmeppo told "Your orders, sir?"
The admiral smirked, closing his book and putting it away. He picked up a baby den den mushi, contacting the last and the youngest admiral: "Oi, Luffy! Marimo Pirates in sight!"
Laughing could be heard from the other end of the line, as well as the munching of food.
"Yosh! See you in the deck, Sabo!"
Sabo grinned, standing up and going to slap the eldest admiral awake.
"Wake up, Ace, Marimo Pirates in sight!" as soon as he said "Marimo Pirates" Ace shot up. They had been chasing that crew for months; they wouldn't get away this time.
"I'll burn them to crisp!" Ace shouted, causing Helmeppo to fall over as he added: "After I've finished my lunch."
Twenty minutes later all the men had already gathered on the deck when the two older admirals walked out.
"Oi Ace, Sabo! I can see them!" Luffy cheered, pointing at the pirate ship.
"Yes Luffy, we can all see them" Sabo said, turning to their men "All right guys, a battle is coming up. Let's not screw it up this time, understood?"
"Yes, sir!" the marines chorused.
"All right. Captain Helmeppo's men will guard the ship while commodore Coby and his men follow us to the enemy ship. Any questions?"
"Good" Sabo said, glancing behind him. The pirate ship would be close enough to be boarded under a minute "Every man to your positions!"
The admirals boarded the ship first, Coby and his men right behind them. Luffy ended up in a fight with the ship's blond cook and Sabo guarded Ace from the raven haired first mate as he ran to look for the captain, Roronoa Zoro.
"Shitty rubber man" the cook hissed, kicking the admiral across the deck. It actually did do some damage thanks to his powerful haki. However, the cook and the first mate were no match for the admirals and after defeating them they went inside the ship to look for their brother and the pirate captain. For some reason finding the green haired man was never easy.
After finding both their brother and the pirate captain Sabo couldn't help but face palm. They found them both from the food storage, sleeping.
"Food!" Luffy cheered, attacking the meat with more motivation than he ever fought against his enemies. Sabo's eyebrow twisted, he had seen this coming.
"We don't need him to take down the pirate captain" Sabo decided, kicking the eldest "Get up, Ace, we have a pirate to beat."
Ace stayed asleep, but he did manage to wake up the pirate captain. Yawning, he asked: "Morning already?"
Sabo's vein popped as he said: "No, it's actually midnight and we're having a surprise attack to slit your throats while you sleep."
"Well you failed" Zoro answered with another yawn, pretending not to notice his sarcasm "So, you gonna fight me alone?"
"It's three against one" Sabo said, making Zoro snort.
"Those two are useless; another's asleep and another eating like he hadn't had a meal in years" Zoro said, pointing behind the blond haired admiral "And by the way, you're the one alone, but I'm not."
"Ah fuck" Sabo said as he turned around and saw the bloody, raven haired first mate with a book in her hands.
"You know you could fight us" she said with a smirk Sabo had become all too familiar with over the months "Or you could just sit back while reading a good book."
Sabo stared at her with a raised eyebrow, but in the end took the book, saying: "Fuck this shit; if those two ain't working neither will I!"
Commodore Coby was running in a hallway of the pirate ship, looking for the admirals. He had seen the cook, the second strongest member in the crew unconscious on the deck, but two other big threats, the captain and the first mate, were missing.
When he arrived to the food storage he froze, not able to believe what he was seeing. Luffy, the youngest admiral was eating next to the captain of Santoryu Pirates who was drinking sake while arguing with the younger man about something. The eldest admiral was sleeping on the floor and the blond one was... playing chess with the first mate of the ship.
"What happened, sir?!" he finally got out, making the four who were awake notice him.
"Well the book she gave me turned out to be boring, so we decided to play chess instead" Sabo told with a straight face "Is there something you need, commodore?"
"Sir, our troops are down!" a silence followed Coby's words. Zoro and his first mate looked at each other with smirks.
"Well shit, we lost" Sabo said with a sigh "Luffy, we're retreating."
"Leaving so soon?" the first mate asked with a small smirk "That's too bad."
"Sure is, sweetheart" Sabo replied with a chuckle, swinging Ace over his shoulder and taking Luffy by his collar "Let's go, commodore."
"And that's what happened, sir" Coby told, making the fleet admiral face palm "Not again..."
"Again?" Coby questioned, but didn't get an answer as there was a knock on the door "Come in."
The fleet admiral's eyebrow twisted as the blond admiral came in.
"You wanted to see me, sir?" he asked with a professional tone.
"Yes I did, admiral" Kuzan said "Do you mind explaining why commodore found you playing chess with Roronoa Zoro's first mate?"
"The book she gave me was boring, sir, so we decided to play chess instead" Sabo said, not losing his poker face even for a split second.
"Alright" Kuzan said with a sigh "You may go now."
"Thank you, sir" Sabo said, leaving the room.
"Just like that?" Coby asked, too shocked to show prober respect.
"Yeah" Kuzan said, kicking his legs on to his table, getting himself a comfortable position "I gave up on understanding those three years ago. You're dismissed, commodore."
"Yes, sir" Coby said. Before he was completely out of the room Kuzan said: "And commodore, if the Marine Corps fall down under ten years, it won't be a surprise."
A.N: And that's how it was. Should I write more What If –one shots/stories?